Originally Posted by Daonnachd

I was feeling low so I decided to go for a descent on my bike, nevermind the problem of getting back to the top of the mountain on which I live. The descent is a hairy one, steep with lots of tight curves, cracks, and potholes. It's a good adrenaline generator. Oh, it felt wonderful. Top to bottom it's about a thousand feet vertical, then I have to climb back up to go home. It was a good exercise in determination. It was exhausting. I don't know what neurotransmitters are released with strenuous physical activity, but I got a fair dose of them in addition to the adrenaline.


Now that I'm home I've read some poetry on gratefulness to my wife as I do every day. Next I'm doing dishes and other chores with my son. Blessings upon the geology which resulted in steep-sided volcanoes.

This is very impressive to me! The climb up the steep mountain, and especially your lovely practice of reading poetry on gratefulness to your wife. Even your time together working with your son sounds so nice. These examples you cite were clearly what the doctor ordered to counter your mood descent. You rock!!!!

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

This is very impressive to me! The climb up the steep mountain, and especially your lovely practice of reading poetry on gratefulness to your wife. Even your time together working with your son sounds so nice. These examples you cite were clearly what the doctor ordered to counter your mood descent. You rock!!!!

Yeah, I try to catch things before they get too far gone. The book of gratefulness poetry was a gift to my wife on her birthday, but it's just as much for me. Of course, my therapist is always telling me to exercise more. As a kid (in secondary school) I raced bicycles and would often go for training rides of more than 50 miles, so I have a pretty high standard for physical activity. I'm trying to get myself back to a point where I can do that. It's tougher to do coming home from work, but it is in my arsenal of coping strategies.

[wildflowerchild25]

I’ve been sick for two days with a summer cold. Half the people in my class were hacking and sneezing so I guess it was inevitable. Still miserable though. Not sure if I’m going to make it to work tomorrow. Depends on how I feel when I wake up. Right now it’s in my chest not my head but I have a slight headache as well. Sucks.

I had to get a new phone as my old one wouldn’t hold a charge anymore. Can’t really afford it but I can’t really afford to be unreachable during the day because my phone is dead either. I get too nervous about my son getting sick or hurt at camp or school. So I now have an iPhone XR. Not too much more per month.

I made it to the second round of interviews for that teaching job! I had to provide five references. I hope they all complete it. It’s an online form. The only one I didn’t directly contact was one of my co teachers. I’ll text her if she doesn’t complete it soon.

[Victoria'smom]

I want to ask pdoc about depression and anxiety medication but I can't move my appointment up because I will need her around the time I'm scheduled for. My whole **** is changing in less then a month. (I'll be alone from 4:30-10:30 pm 2x a week and 8-12:30 another day) first time being alone for longer than an hour or two in years. Generally I get real paranoid and suicidal left alone especially at night Hell I don't do well when there's people here but sleeping. I feel stupid saying this as it should be no big deal. My husband got me a dog years ago so I could be alone at times. We've built our lives around our issues and now we're starting to face that. I'm preemptively scared and doesn't help my dark thoughts.

So my husband and I went to Lowe’s today to look for a new faucet to go with the new counter top we’ll have installed next week. I knew we’d end up leaving there with more than we could carry. I know my people! So, I volunteered to get a cart, leaving hubby to enter the store on his own. When I returned to him, I saw him standing with a young female clerk, both laughing hysterically. I said “What on earth did you say to this young lady?!?!” When he could manage to respond, still laughing all the while, he said “We’re talking about chickens!”

I thought, “Chickens?!?!”

When my husband finally calmed down to talk, he said he asked the clerk where the “Chicken section” was. Apparently both burst out laughing at that question. In between, she laughingly said “I’m afraid we don’t sell chickens at Lowes!”

Of course he meant the “Kitchen section”.

I confess that I started to laugh, too. Partly laughing at him laughing, and partly at the word and image. “Chicken” has always been my favorite English word. There’s something quite wonderful about it’s sound, and picturing a chicken while uttering that somewhat onomatopoeic locution. Chickens themselves look quite absurd, in my view. Say the word 10 times in a row, really analyzing it. Feel how it tickles the tongue, as well. If needed, do this while looking at a photo of this strange but wonderful bird.

The whole event got my hubby and I talking about a related subject — words and phrases we get pleasure or relief from uttering. My recent invention has been the made up word “Shkuhbuh!” It’s difficult to explain exactly why I say it, or how I came up with it, but I’ve uttered it a lot lately and always with great passion. It’s my new grunt of relief or discharge of frustration or exertion. The word has even recently turned into a phrase, of sorts. Now it’s sometimes “Huh Shkuhbuh!” Maybe next week “Huh Shkuhbuh, Hah hah HAH!”

I used to do a similar thing as above with more of a gibberish. I’d wave my arms in the air and do a little dance and exclaim “Hu bee dubby rarer ack ack doopity doo doo frrrr frrr POP! Huh huh huh huh ARGGGGHHHHH!” or something along those lines. I remember my pet parrot often witnessing that display and seeing his eyes pin with great excitement. Truth is, it was pretty exciting! It got our hearts beating fast. I often felt a touch of elation, and am sure he did, too. Yea, I could have kicked something or punched a pillow, but somehow this, deep from the gut major-league exclamation, did me even more good and mostly left me laughing, or at least smiling for a bit.

It is a well-known fact that when we are in great distress, with stress levels rising to near explosion, that perhaps instead of an anger tirade or feelings of fist in the gut frustration, we just let it all go with more of a odd ball jubilation.

You can sometimes cry…which can be good. You can sometimes scream…which has it’s time and place. But other times, we need to see things as if they are absolutely absurd.
.
.
.
.
.
Throughout my life, I have often been blamed for many misdeeds. I guess having been the youngest child in my family, that is understandable. Truth is, sometimes I was and am a naughty gal. Hubby has often drawn my attention to that fact, more times than I could ever count. But once when hubby blamed me for something one more time than I could handle, I told him the following story:

“When I was a child, my siblings passed blame on me for almost EVERYTHING. Again, often times I was the culprit. Then one particular day, my mother came to me with an angry look and said “Did you do such and such?!?!” To that I sighed, exasperated by the hundreds of accusations, and said “Mom…Ya know, if I did even half the number of things I’ve been accused of over the years, I must really be quite AMAAAAAAZING!” I think I was only 8 at that time.

I guess that exclamation rang true enough, and my mom began to laugh. And I began to laugh.

Well, sometimes it is all just so amazing! The heaven, the hell, the pain, and all the moments in between. Isn’t it also kind of strange how when we laugh our very hardest, we tend to cry the hardest, too?

I love this bird.

[Daonnachd]

What a great read, BirdDancer.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

I was feeling low so I decided to go for a descent on my bike, nevermind the problem of getting back to the top of the mountain on which I live. The descent is a hairy one, steep with lots of tight curves, cracks, and potholes. It's a good adrenaline generator. Oh, it felt wonderful. Top to bottom it's about a thousand feet vertical, then I have to climb back up to go home. It was a good exercise in determination. It was exhausting. I don't know what neurotransmitters are released with strenuous physical activity, but I got a fair dose of them in addition to the adrenaline.


Now that I'm home I've read some poetry on gratefulness to my wife as I do every day. Next I'm doing dishes and other chores with my son. Blessings upon the geology which resulted in steep-sided volcanoes.

Awesome ride!
It has to be exciting to ride that terrain!
I recall it is also a lot of FUN to observe.

Wow, good for you, reading on gratitude.

Thanks for being a friend!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I’ve been sick for two days with a summer cold. Half the people in my class were hacking and sneezing so I guess it was inevitable. Still miserable though. Not sure if I’m going to make it to work tomorrow. Depends on how I feel when I wake up. Right now it’s in my chest not my head but I have a slight headache as well. Sucks.

I had to get a new phone as my old one wouldn’t hold a charge anymore. Can’t really afford it but I can’t really afford to be unreachable during the day because my phone is dead either. I get too nervous about my son getting sick or hurt at camp or school. So I now have an iPhone XR. Not too much more per month.

I made it to the second round of interviews for that teaching job! I had to provide five references. I hope they all complete it. It’s an online form. The only one I didn’t directly contact was one of my co teachers. I’ll text her if she doesn’t complete it soon.

I hope you feel better soon. :hug

I have to spring for a new phone, too. It will be sooner rather than later. I have not upgraded in about 8 years. I still have an iPhone 4. I am trying to keep my number, which has taken some negotiating, as I do not own the account which owns the numbers in the account. (Learning so much lately.)

I hope the job works out for you!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Thanks so much Christina!


Yes, taro is one of favorites. My friend introduced me to taro, her family is from the Philippines. Taro is a root common in southeast Asia. For bubble tea they make it into an iced milky drink with tapioca balls. Maybe not for everyone, but I'd recommend trying it out to anyone who is gets the chance.

Oh okay I know exactly what your talking about. Every trip to Florida my daughter and I hit this Tea restaurant and I’ll be honest I’ll have at least 3 lol
I really needs to find some to have at home, I have my Chai Lattes I try to keep to one a week , but honesty I could drink then daiky.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I would love to cook and bake for you, Christina! I enjoy doing so for friends.


Today is lovely in my neck of the woods. We're going to go to Lowe's and pick out a new faucet for our new sink. They measure for our new quartz counter tomorrow. It's about time. I am eager to have a prettier kitchen.


I've been feeling better these last few days. I usually do when hubby is home. We'll be busy this coming week. I'll be putting things out for the Vietnam Vets org to pick up, posting some things on an online yard sale site, and then cleaning up the garage. I can't wait to finally get my car back in there. My car is always cooler when it's in there.

We have a new vanity for the second bathroom to put in, my husband caught another lung bug so it’s been out on the back burner for now, he sees our Doctor tomorrow for a follow up, I think they will extend his antibiotic another 10 days like last time. But hopefully we can get it done before the Florida trip.

Oh enjoy each update you are doing. I bet it’s going to be stunning !

I do miss having a garage, it was an absolute necessity when I bought my home in Florida.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

I was feeling low so I decided to go for a descent on my bike, nevermind the problem of getting back to the top of the mountain on which I live. The descent is a hairy one, steep with lots of tight curves, cracks, and potholes. It's a good adrenaline generator. Oh, it felt wonderful. Top to bottom it's about a thousand feet vertical, then I have to climb back up to go home. It was a good exercise in determination. It was exhausting. I don't know what neurotransmitters are released with strenuous physical activity, but I got a fair dose of them in addition to the adrenaline.


Now that I'm home I've read some poetry on gratefulness to my wife as I do every day. Next I'm doing dishes and other chores with my son. Blessings upon the geology which resulted in steep-sided volcanoes.

Sounds like a lovely time but hard work. Poetry for your wife .... she’s a lucky lady and you do dishes to boot !!! Your wonderful

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I’ve been sick for two days with a summer cold. Half the people in my class were hacking and sneezing so I guess it was inevitable. Still miserable though. Not sure if I’m going to make it to work tomorrow. Depends on how I feel when I wake up. Right now it’s in my chest not my head but I have a slight headache as well. Sucks.


I had to get a new phone as my old one wouldn’t hold a charge anymore. Can’t really afford it but I can’t really afford to be unreachable during the day because my phone is dead either. I get too nervous about my son getting sick or hurt at camp or school. So I now have an iPhone XR. Not too much more per month.


I made it to the second round of interviews for that teaching job! I had to provide five references. I hope they all complete it. It’s an online form. The only one I didn’t directly contact was one of my co teachers. I’ll text her if she doesn’t complete it soon.

Hope the dreaded cold goes away quickly , I especially hate ones in the summer , I just stay so hot !

I paid off my phone almost a year ago , seems like they usually have the batteries set to start dying off around that time so they will get people to upgrade. But hey new phones are so sleek and shiny !!! Who can resist lol

All my fingers and toes are crossed for you and this teaching position!!!!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I want to ask pdoc about depression and anxiety medication but I can't move my appointment up because I will need her around the time I'm scheduled for. My whole **** is changing in less then a month. (I'll be alone from 4:30-10:30 pm 2x a week and 8-12:30 another day) first time being alone for longer than an hour or two in years. Generally I get real paranoid and suicidal left alone especially at night Hell I don't do well when there's people here but sleeping. I feel stupid saying this as it should be no big deal. My husband got me a dog years ago so I could be alone at times. We've built our lives around our issues and now we're starting to face that. I'm preemptively scared and doesn't help my dark thoughts.

Try and schedule activities and chores for the times you will be alone, idle minds do tend to travel dark paths.

Maybe use those times to teach your dog new tricks ?? He will adore the attention and it will keep you in the present.

I’m addicted to a dog named Tucker Budzen on YouTube. I’m not sure if you have seen any of his videos but they are hilarious. Check him out

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I have to spring for a new phone, too. It will be sooner rather than later. !

Check out Straight talk. It's from Walmart and it is cheap. I pay $45/month for unlimited. You do have to pay upfront for a phone but can buy one anywhere and bring it in. It may have to be a certain kind of phone or meet some requirement; I don't know. I have an iPhone 6 that was a refurbished model several years ago that I got for Christmas. Before that I had an old, used iPhone 4 and before that a phone I bought through StraightTalk that was a cheap Smart phone.

It's a lot better than what I've seen with other phone providers and the service is fine. Mine uses Verizon towers which are the only ones that work here but I think they change it out wherever you live.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

So my husband and I went to Lowe’s today to look for a new faucet to go with the new counter top we’ll have installed next week. I knew we’d end up leaving there with more than we could carry. I know my people! So, I volunteered to get a cart, leaving hubby to enter the store on his own. When I returned to him, I saw him standing with a young female clerk, both laughing hysterically. I said “What on earth did you say to this young lady?!?!” When he could manage to respond, still laughing all the while, he said “We’re talking about chickens!”

I thought, “Chickens?!?!”

When my husband finally calmed down to talk, he said he asked the clerk where the “Chicken section” was. Apparently both burst out laughing at that question. In between, she laughingly said “I’m afraid we don’t sell chickens at Lowes!”

Of course he meant the “Kitchen section”.

I confess that I started to laugh, too. Partly laughing at him laughing, and partly at the word and image. “Chicken” has always been my favorite English word. There’s something quite wonderful about it’s sound, and picturing a chicken while uttering that somewhat onomatopoeic locution. Chickens themselves look quite absurd, in my view. Say the word 10 times in a row, really analyzing it. Feel how it tickles the tongue, as well. If needed, do this while looking at a photo of this strange but wonderful bird.

The whole event got my hubby and I talking about a related subject — words and phrases we get pleasure or relief from uttering. My recent invention has been the made up word “Shkuhbuh!” It’s difficult to explain exactly why I say it, or how I came up with it, but I’ve uttered it a lot lately and always with great passion. It’s my new grunt of relief or discharge of frustration or exertion. The word has even recently turned into a phrase, of sorts. Now it’s sometimes “Huh Shkuhbuh!” Maybe next week “Huh Shkuhbuh, Hah hah HAH!”

I used to do a similar thing as above with more of a gibberish. I’d wave my arms in the air and do a little dance and exclaim “Hu bee dubby rarer ack ack doopity doo doo frrrr frrr POP! Huh huh huh huh ARGGGGHHHHH!” or something along those lines. I remember my pet parrot often witnessing that display and seeing his eyes pin with great excitement. Truth is, it was pretty exciting! It got our hearts beating fast. I often felt a touch of elation, and am sure he did, too. Yea, I could have kicked something or punched a pillow, but somehow this, deep from the gut major-league exclamation, did me even more good and mostly left me laughing, or at least smiling for a bit.

It is a well-known fact that when we are in great distress, with stress levels rising to near explosion, that perhaps instead of an anger tirade or feelings of fist in the gut frustration, we just let it all go with more of a odd ball jubilation.

You can sometimes cry…which can be good. You can sometimes scream…which has it’s time and place. But other times, we need to see things as if they are absolutely absurd.
.
.
.
.
.
Throughout my life, I have often been blamed for many misdeeds. I guess having been the youngest child in my family, that is understandable. Truth is, sometimes I was and am a naughty gal. Hubby has often drawn my attention to that fact, more times than I could ever count. But once when hubby blamed me for something one more time than I could handle, I told him the following story:

“When I was a child, my siblings passed blame on me for almost EVERYTHING. Again, often times I was the culprit. Then one particular day, my mother came to me with an angry look and said “Did you do such and such?!?!” To that I sighed, exasperated by the hundreds of accusations, and said “Mom…Ya know, if I did even half the number of things I’ve been accused of over the years, I must really be quite AMAAAAAAZING!” I think I was only 8 at that time.

I guess that exclamation rang true enough, and my mom began to laugh. And I began to laugh.

Well, sometimes it is all just so amazing! The heaven, the hell, the pain, and all the moments in between. Isn’t it also kind of strange how when we laugh our very hardest, we tend to cry the hardest, too?

I love this bird.

Delightful!

I've had a few laughs.
I've sung a song , while doing a little dance.

You ARE Amaaaaazing!

You are such a gifted writer!

You put a smile on my face!
Thank you so much!
I appreciate you!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

So my husband and I went to Lowe’s today to look for a new faucet to go with the new counter top we’ll have installed next week. I knew we’d end up leaving there with more than we could carry. I know my people! So, I volunteered to get a cart, leaving hubby to enter the store on his own. When I returned to him, I saw him standing with a young female clerk, both laughing hysterically. I said “What on earth did you say to this young lady?!?!” When he could manage to respond, still laughing all the while, he said “We’re talking about chickens!”


I thought, “Chickens?!?!”


When my husband finally calmed down to talk, he said he asked the clerk where the “Chicken section” was. Apparently both burst out laughing at that question. In between, she laughingly said “I’m afraid we don’t sell chickens at Lowes!”


Of course he meant the “Kitchen section”.


I confess that I started to laugh, too. Partly laughing at him laughing, and partly at the word and image. “Chicken” has always been my favorite English word. There’s something quite wonderful about it’s sound, and picturing a chicken while uttering that somewhat onomatopoeic locution. Chickens themselves look quite absurd, in my view. Say the word 10 times in a row, really analyzing it. Feel how it tickles the tongue, as well. If needed, do this while looking at a photo of this strange but wonderful bird.


The whole event got my hubby and I talking about a related subject — words and phrases we get pleasure or relief from uttering. My recent invention has been the made up word “Shkuhbuh!” It’s difficult to explain exactly why I say it, or how I came up with it, but I’ve uttered it a lot lately and always with great passion. It’s my new grunt of relief or discharge of frustration or exertion. The word has even recently turned into a phrase, of sorts. Now it’s sometimes “Huh Shkuhbuh!” Maybe next week “Huh Shkuhbuh, Hah hah HAH!”


I used to do a similar thing as above with more of a gibberish. I’d wave my arms in the air and do a little dance and exclaim “Hu bee dubby rarer ack ack doopity doo doo frrrr frrr POP! Huh huh huh huh ARGGGGHHHHH!” or something along those lines. I remember my pet parrot often witnessing that display and seeing his eyes pin with great excitement. Truth is, it was pretty exciting! It got our hearts beating fast. I often felt a touch of elation, and am sure he did, too. Yea, I could have kicked something or punched a pillow, but somehow this, deep from the gut major-league exclamation, did me even more good and mostly left me laughing, or at least smiling for a bit.


It is a well-known fact that when we are in great distress, with stress levels rising to near explosion, that perhaps instead of an anger tirade or feelings of fist in the gut frustration, we just let it all go with more of a odd ball jubilation.


You can sometimes cry…which can be good. You can sometimes scream…which has it’s time and place. But other times, we need to see things as if they are absolutely absurd.

.

.

.

.

.

Throughout my life, I have often been blamed for many misdeeds. I guess having been the youngest child in my family, that is understandable. Truth is, sometimes I was and am a naughty gal. Hubby has often drawn my attention to that fact, more times than I could ever count. But once when hubby blamed me for something one more time than I could handle, I told him the following story:


“When I was a child, my siblings passed blame on me for almost EVERYTHING. Again, often times I was the culprit. Then one particular day, my mother came to me with an angry look and said “Did you do such and such?!?!” To that I sighed, exasperated by the hundreds of accusations, and said “Mom…Ya know, if I did even half the number of things I’ve been accused of over the years, I must really be quite AMAAAAAAZING!” I think I was only 8 at that time.


I guess that exclamation rang true enough, and my mom began to laugh. And I began to laugh.


Well, sometimes it is all just so amazing! The heaven, the hell, the pain, and all the moments in between. Isn’t it also kind of strange how when we laugh our very hardest, we tend to cry the hardest, too?


I love this bird.

I love how you go about your life !!! You have a wicked funny sense of humor.

Chicken???? Lmao ! I would have been rolling too lol

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Check out Straight talk. It's from Walmart and it is cheap. I pay $45/month for unlimited. You do have to pay upfront for a phone but can buy one anywhere and bring it in. It may have to be a certain kind of phone or meet some requirement; I don't know. I have an iPhone 6 that was a refurbished model several years ago that I got for Christmas. Before that I had an old, used iPhone 4 and before that a phone I bought through StraightTalk that was a cheap Smart phone.

It's a lot better than what I've seen with other phone providers and the service is fine. Mine uses Verizon towers which are the only ones that work here but I think they change it out wherever you live.

Hi!
Thank you so much for sharing this info.

I have a Walmart bag right here near me. It contains a Straight Talk phone and a plan. Yes, you are right on! I had then spent some time trying to discern the differences between TracFone and StraightTalk. That took a fair amount of reading.

I have found out that I cannot import my telephone number because H owns the account that owns the numbers. He has agreed to meet me sometime next week in order to release my phone number.

I have done more research and have found out that the local Verizon will give a prepaid plan as cheap as TracFone and/or StraightTalk, as far as I can see.

I want to mention 2 other options:

-- There is a company named "cricket" and their plans are great. They are especially great for multiple lines. One of my docs gets 4 lines for $100./month, unlimited data, texts, talk on each, no taxes added to the price (taxes included). She says they use AT&T towers in this area. I am not sure of what they use elsewhere. She loves her service.

-- The HSN2 (Home Shopping Network 2) has been offering a great special on TracFone, both a great phone and a full year of service. They have some other things they include in the deal they offer. It is an amazing offer. It is under $75.00 for the complete package. I had tried to get the direct TracFone site to match their deal and they could not do so.

Lots of choices!

I agree, OverTheRainbow, StraighTalk has some great deals!
The also have some refurbished phones at great low prices!

Thanks so much, OverTheRainbow!

[yellow_fleurs]

WC you might also check out Republic Wireless. They have some really cheap plans. I start with a certain plan and if I get to my data limit I can just increase it as needed. There's no contract either.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am very happy for you!

I admire the spirit of people involved in the community gardening projects.
It's wonderful you could all get together to build the shed! I can recall some community "barn raising(s)" in rural areas of my state when I was a child. it was quite a sight to see and an amazing overall experience as well!

It sounds like you have had a rewarding day!
I am so glad things are going well!
I hope you will keep us posted!

Thank you! I am enjoying becoming part of that community garden. And barn raisings do sound like quite an experience!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

WC you might also check out Republic Wireless. They have some really cheap plans. I start with a certain plan and if I get to my data limit I can just increase it as needed. There's no contract either.

Thanks! I will check them out!!!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

WC you might also check out Republic Wireless. They have some really cheap plans. I start with a certain plan and if I get to my data limit I can just increase it as needed. There's no contract either.

This seems great!
Cheap plans! I could have 2 lines for the price of one.
The phones are a bit more expensive here than at TracFone and StraightTalk; yet, much is made up in saving on the service.

I am hesitating a bit. Why? I have checked with them and coverage on my street and in the area shows only a "fair" signal.

I am in/near one of the small areas on the map where service looks questionable, most unfortunately.

I think this is a winner for anyone located where the signal is strong!

thanks so much for sharing!

[Wander]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Depression really can be quite painful I have found, and sometimes it feels like grief to me, too. Although I guess sometimes when I grieve something it feels like depression, too. I also found I generally felt depressed after having a mixed episode on Lexapro, if that's what it really was. Like my brain and body kind of felt like it had the flu and I was just a little off kilter for a while even though I wasn't in a mixed episode any longer. I however am not dealing with the PTSD you experience so I am sure that affects you in many ways I cannot understand.

I am sorry you are feeling this way. I hope you can spend some time with people soon and not be alone too much. Is the meditation retreat still a plan for the future? If so, how are you feeling about that?

Thanks. I think my depression is a response to the bad PTSD and mixed episode I was in. My brain chemistry is hopefully settling down. My poor brain had a rough ride.

This afternoon I’m going over my partners for the night, then parents for a night. My partner has been busy so it will be great seeing him. My parents are wonderful but trigger my PTSD so that will be harder. I don’t want to cut ties with them. They are my major support and take responsibility for their failures in the past. I am hoping once my PTSD shuts down I will feel fine around them again..

Sorry I’m not responding to others posts. I’m just too overwhelmed most of the time and my concentration is bad.

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

So sorry everyone. I keep seeing posts and intending to go back and answer and I just don't make it. I'm still sick and done with my 2nd round of antibiotics. I assume I'll be sent to a GI doctor this week.

I'm now at 4 weeks and 1 day of being sick. Too long. I know the NP is doing what she can but I want my real doctor. He's doing something for the hospital and only works part-time so I couldn't get in to see him without waiting weeks. So the NP it was. And she seemed great, I just have had my doctor for 15 years and I drive an hour just to see him at that practice. I trust him and he'd know if there was something really exotic going on which is of course a possibility. They tl med students if you hear hoof beats don't think it's a zebra, think it's a horse but this time I think I'm a zebra.

Hmm, a rainbow colored zebra.........

Welcome to the zebra club! All joking aside; I am sorry you are still sick and that you can't get into your doctor; hopefully you are able to see him soon and he can figure out if you are a zebra.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Wander

Thanks. I think my depression is a response to the bad PTSD and mixed episode I was in. My brain chemistry is hopefully settling down. My poor brain had a rough ride.

This afternoon I’m going over my partners for the night, then parents for a night. My partner has been busy so it will be great seeing him. My parents are wonderful but trigger my PTSD so that will be harder. I don’t want to cut ties with them. They are my major support and take responsibility for their failures in the past. I am hoping once my PTSD shuts down I will feel fine around them again..

Sorry I’m not responding to others posts. I’m just too overwhelmed most of the time and my concentration is bad.

Hi Wander,

No worries about responding to everyone. Just take care and get better!

[Dysphoria]

After feeling awful for several months, being hospitalized, and wanting to harm myself, I am finally feeling better - if not good - after getting on a new med. Hopefully this med continues to work with minimal side effects. I am still on the starter dose.