[TheSeaCat]

Hi all, I realize it has been a while since I have checked in. Sorry about that; but life is keeping me busy. Plus, it always feels a little odd posting a happy update when I read that so many of you are struggling. I have been good medication wise and life wise. This Trintellix is just wonderful at keeping my depression away from me; that cloud has left and all that I see is sunshine. I feel much clearer thought wise than I ever did with Seroquel; plus I haven't had one side effect with the Trintellix.

I started a different position in the company almost two months ago; shortly after earning my Bachelor's Degree. I am still with the same great company; but it's a different position working with the CEO of the clinics. It's different, but I really like what I am doing.

M and I are still doing great together. We are living together; we are both still madly in love. He is healed from his back surgery and it's like nothing even happened with his back.

M and I have a vacation coming up and we are both excited to get away from work for a happier occasion than surgery; plus I am just ready to get away for a little while since now I know nothing bad is going to happen to me health wise. I am on medication that works for my depression and a medication that has my heart under control. I typically run in the upper 80's granted pretty recently my Fitbit did show a 75 which is just nice to see.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Miguel gets home in a week. I need to do art, I just don't want to. I keep putting it off. I'm not doing anything right now chores wise. I haven't showered, changed, or done my hair in days (maybe a week). I get up drag myself to the couch because if I stay laying there my anxiety spikes with all these long off concerns and things I can't do anything about. Then I sit on here trying to read and respond but fail. Eventually I eat (toast), take dinner out, and start the long process of waking my husband up every hour until he gets up. Then we eat and I go back to sitting on the computer until dinner and then wait here for when I can finally go to bed.

I don't want to ask my husband to do anything. I don't want anything negative and he's not well either. Last time I tried to actually talk to him he made me cry and feel shittier. I'm not over that yet.

I need to make a schedule and try and stick with it. I'm failing at daily life.

I'm trying to tell myself things I think are untrue but other then that I'm not really doing anything. I don't even write.

My mind goes to non-helpful "helpful" stuff that I shouldn't do.

Nothing is balanced right now.

Thank-you,

ETA: Sorry Scooter9

MM, is art one of your coping skills, or a hobby? I think art can be a very good coping skill if it's something you like. I am not a painter, but have enjoyed getting some cheap canvas and oil paints and following a Bob Ross video online with my friend. It distracted me once from my obsessive thoughts, they were still there but didn't drown me. I also have tried pottery with a couple of times, working with clay feels therapeutic to me because of the sensory experience.

It sounds like you're having a really hard time right now and I hope you can stay safe. I'm sure it's an extra challenge if your husband is also not doing well. Maybe if you make that list of things to do start off super simple so you can feel accomplished when you get one done. Sending compassion

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

Hi all, I realize it has been a while since I have checked in. Sorry about that; but life is keeping me busy. Plus, it always feels a little odd posting a happy update when I read that so many of you are struggling. I have been good medication wise and life wise. This Trintellix is just wonderful at keeping my depression away from me; that cloud has left and all that I see is sunshine. I feel much clearer thought wise than I ever did with Seroquel; plus I haven't had one side effect with the Trintellix.

I started a different position in the company almost two months ago; shortly after earning my Bachelor's Degree. I am still with the same great company; but it's a different position working with the CEO of the clinics. It's different, but I really like what I am doing.

M and I are still doing great together. We are living together; we are both still madly in love. He is healed from his back surgery and it's like nothing even happened with his back.

M and I have a vacation coming up and we are both excited to get away from work for a happier occasion than surgery; plus I am just ready to get away for a little while since now I know nothing bad is going to happen to me health wise. I am on medication that works for my depression and a medication that has my heart under control. I typically run in the upper 80's granted pretty recently my Fitbit did show a 75 which is just nice to see.

I’m so pleased to hear all of your good news! May your happiness and success continue!

[fern46]

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

Hi all, I realize it has been a while since I have checked in. Sorry about that; but life is keeping me busy. Plus, it always feels a little odd posting a happy update when I read that so many of you are struggling. I have been good medication wise and life wise. This Trintellix is just wonderful at keeping my depression away from me; that cloud has left and all that I see is sunshine. I feel much clearer thought wise than I ever did with Seroquel; plus I haven't had one side effect with the Trintellix.

I started a different position in the company almost two months ago; shortly after earning my Bachelor's Degree. I am still with the same great company; but it's a different position working with the CEO of the clinics. It's different, but I really like what I am doing.

M and I are still doing great together. We are living together; we are both still madly in love. He is healed from his back surgery and it's like nothing even happened with his back.

M and I have a vacation coming up and we are both excited to get away from work for a happier occasion than surgery; plus I am just ready to get away for a little while since now I know nothing bad is going to happen to me health wise. I am on medication that works for my depression and a medication that has my heart under control. I typically run in the upper 80's granted pretty recently my Fitbit did show a 75 which is just nice to see.

I think you should always post your happy updates. It proves that there is hope of being stable and in good spirits. I'm happy for you that you've found a med mix that works and that things are going well.

I'm doing alright. Had better days/weeks, but still not bad.

I kinda want to stop taking my antipsychotic. I only started feeling better/stable when I started taking sertraline recently, so I want to see what I feel like without the antipsychotic. I did take it last night, though. I've just been wondering this for a while now. It's not like the antipsychotic does anything positive for me anymore anyways.

I made myself some waffles from scratch this morning at my parents' house, so that was nice. Everyone enjoyed them.

I'm currently trying to see if I can take some time off from work, because I'm rather stressed atm. That's why I'm only doing "alright" and not good or great. I have sooooo much work to do, though, and it's all piling up on me. I may have to work this weekend, too, just to make up for things. That's the only thing that's holding me back from taking time off from work.

[Blue_Bird]

I'm trying to fight the cravings on seroquel for food when I'm not hungry, it's difficult

[Gabyunbound]

Thank you so much Christina for your reply. You're so generous and thoughtful in your replies to people in distress I really admire you...

It actually wasn't the therapist who suggested that he be able to show his anger, such as he does, with those he feels 'safe' with (my mother, me, and his girlfriend), it was his girlfriend. Not only is this patently absurd, but clearly he has behaved this way towards her as well, and she frankly sounds like someone making excuses for an abuser...

My mother can actually get to her appointments, or most of them, without my help. She has a friend who can sometimes take her, one of her homecare attendants, or the home care agency can send someone else. The problem is that, though she is generally still cognitively intact, she does forget what happens at her appointments, and isn't good at giving her medical history (again, because she forgets), and she's not good at advocating for herself. I work in healthcare, and I've seen what poor care people like her can receive when they don't have family helping out. So that's why I feel I need to go.

My brother and I were able to have a long, mature conversation about my mother's care the other day. That was a plus. Generally, when we discuss things, I feel so much control on his part, and him pushing me hard to do one thing over another. His girlfriend said that he has 'no sense of self.' I asked my therapist about this, and she said that he having meltdowns can partly explain this: he takes everything personally, as an assault on a very shaky foundation that is his fragile sense of self. I'm, in fact, discovering more and more, through what his girlfriend has said, what his girlfriend has said the therapist has said (no sense of self came from her), and from his behavior, that he might be suffering from BPD. I wish he would get the proper therapy for that instead of PTSD therapy, and a PTSD therapy that apparently does not encourage him to take responsibility for his behavior or learn healthy ways of expressing his emotions. At least that's my impression of his therapy, and certainly the results from it.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I’m glad your back at work !
Has that bummer cloud been lifted off you since you went back to work??

Thanks for asking. Yeah, you know, it has been. Everybody's glad to have me back, I'm glad to be back. It's nice. Sense of purpose doesn't hurt either...

And by now I'd imagine any linger anesthesia after-effects would be worn off too.

[Jedi67]

Originally Posted by fern46

I'm on 20mg of Geodon and it makes me feel like a sleepy zombie. Hopefully your increase works!

I was given 20 mg more on top of my night-time 60 mg.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Jedi67

I was given 20 mg more on top of my night-time 60 mg.

How did it go last night?

[Jedi67]

took .5 of the klonopin my PDoc prescribed yesterday at around 8 and was in bed by 9 pm. woke up around 11 pm or so to take some advils for my knee pain then went back up. slept great. came down around 7 am after a shower and took AM meds and eat some cereal (I was starving!). went back up after some tea and rested some more. feel so different today. no anxiety to speak of and my mind is pretty clear and focused. just a tad of sluggishness but nothing serious. I am very grateful the klonopin helped and I'm looking forward to it helping in the long run. thanks everyone for your support and love getting me thru this all. hope everyone is well!

[otroo]

Doing good on Latuda and have been for the last 2 years. Hot back last weekend from a 2 week trip and I am still doing well I usually get depressed after coming back from a vacation.

[Wild Coyote]

TheSeaCat!!! Hey! It's great to hear from you! I LOVE to hear good news! I am thrilled to hear life is treating you well!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I'm doing alright. Had better days/weeks, but still not bad.

I kinda want to stop taking my antipsychotic. I only started feeling better/stable when I started taking sertraline recently, so I want to see what I feel like without the antipsychotic. I did take it last night, though. I've just been wondering this for a while now. It's not like the antipsychotic does anything positive for me anymore anyways.

I made myself some waffles from scratch this morning at my parents' house, so that was nice. Everyone enjoyed them.

I'm currently trying to see if I can take some time off from work, because I'm rather stressed atm. That's why I'm only doing "alright" and not good or great. I have sooooo much work to do, though, and it's all piling up on me. I may have to work this weekend, too, just to make up for things. That's the only thing that's holding me back from taking time off from work.

Hey Blue!

So do you feel the antipsychotic has no effect on the various hallucinations/delusions you experience? Please correct me here if I have info. wrong as I write. I am a bit duh today.

So glad you spend time with your parents. They must love your cooking! I know I would enjoy it!

It seems like you have a lot of insight into what you can do to catch a break when you need one!

Love Ya!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I'm trying to fight the cravings on seroquel for food when I'm not hungry, it's difficult

Me, too!

Originally Posted by otroo

Doing good on Latuda and have been for the last 2 years. Hot back last weekend from a 2 week trip and I am still doing well I usually get depressed after coming back from a vacation.

I'm glad you enjoyed your trip without getting depressed afterwards, otroo!

So far, I have a positive view of Latuda. I was only recently put on a starter dose and the effects have been only positive. I'm still just on 20 mg. I take other bipolar medications, as well.

Today has been fine. Last night I made an amazing eggplant Parmesan. I also made a fresh cherry almond bread that knocked both hubby's and my socks off. It's probably one of the yummiest sweet breads I've ever made.

I did several chores in and outside of the house. I also created three dried flower arrangements. Flower arranging is a hobby of mine.

I'm procrastinating responding to a blogger that contacted me on Thursday. He wants me to write some posts for a psychology-related website. The fact is, I haven't written much for my own blog in recent months. I know I can type a lot here, but I've struggled to write more formal pieces.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by otroo

Doing good on Latuda and have been for the last 2 years. Hot back last weekend from a 2 week trip and I am still doing well I usually get depressed after coming back from a vacation.

Thanks so much for sharing your GOOD NEWS!!!

I hope to see you around PC!

[Miss Laura]

Have had a great day today tbh I'm doing good in general. Although anxieties are high and I am suffering from paranoia. I'm surviving.

Had lunch with family from Glasgow today as their over in my city to see Sir Tom Jones play tonight in concert. Weather isn't good though raining and it's an outdoor concert oh well it's an experience huh!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Today has been fine. Last night I made an amazing eggplant Parmesan. I also made a fresh cherry almond bread that knocked both hubby's and my socks off. It's probably one of the yummiest sweet breads I've ever made.

I did several chores in and outside of the house. I also created three dried flower arrangements. Flower arranging is a hobby of mine.

I'm procrastinating responding to a blogger that contacted me on Thursday. He wants me to write some posts for a psychology-related website. The fact is, I haven't written much for my own blog in recent months. I know I can type a lot here, but I've struggled to write more formal pieces.

I want to come to your house for dinner!
Sounds absolutely delicious!
I LOVE cherries! nothing like a great cherry pie!

You are a regular "Martha Stewart!" I mean this as a compliment!

You are an excellent writer, too!
I like to be free to do things on my own timeline and get a bit uptight when I commit to someone else's ideas of what I am "good at," and therefore, should do! I am not sure I am writing accurately about this situation. One of those days.... cloudy thinking. Sorry!

I LOVE reading your posts. I find your writing often entertaining, often informative, often relaxing and you also often touch my heart!

Sounds like you are enJOYing Life!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

Have had a great day today tbh I'm doing good in general. Although anxieties are high and I am suffering from paranoia. I'm surviving.

Had lunch with family from Glasgow today as their over in my city to see Sir Tom Jones play tonight in concert. Weather isn't good though raining and it's an outdoor concert oh well it's an experience huh!

It's so important to enJOY life as much as possible, even when we have some symptoms. If we wait until we have no symptoms, we'd maybe never get out!

Wow! Another concert!!!
I envy you! Have FUN!!!

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I want to come to your house for dinner!
Sounds absolutely delicious!
I LOVE cherries! nothing like a great cherry pie!

You are a regular "Martha Stewart!" I mean this as a compliment!

You are an excellent writer, too!
I like to be free to do things on my own timeline and get a bit uptight when I commit to someone else's ideas of what I am "good at," and therefore, should do! I am not sure I am writing accurately about this situation. One of those days.... cloudy thinking. Sorry!

I LOVE reading your posts. I find your writing often entertaining, often informative, often relaxing and you also often touch my heart!

Sounds like you are enJOYing Life!

If you are ever in my area, I would honored to cook and bake something for you, Wild Coyote! I love cooking and baking, and doing many things Martha Stewart enjoys. I'm honored to be compared to her, though I'm not quite to her level. I will say I've never been involved with insider trading, so I guess that's one thing I have up on her

Cherry pie really does rock! My family has always loved it. My dad still has a sour cherry tree on his property, but sometimes the birds claim all of them. The cherries I used in the quick bread I mentioned are sweet cherries. They've been quite cheap in the grocery store lately. Recently, I bought a $6 cherry pitter. It is my current toy. I love anything housewares or kitchenwares oriented.

You're kind what you said about my writing. I really love blogging, but you are right on the money about pressure to write. I've gone through periods when I could write several page pieces almost every day of the week. Then, it just stops. I'm not depressed or unmotivated. There are other factors contributing to my recent writer's block.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

If you are ever in my area, I would honored to cook and bake something for you, Wild Coyote! I love cooking and baking, and doing many things Martha Stewart enjoys. I'm honored to be compared to her, though I'm not quite to her level. I will say I've never been involved with insider trading, so I guess that's one thing I have up on her

Cherry pie really does rock! My family has always loved it. My dad still has a sour cherry tree on his property, but sometimes the birds claim all of them. The cherries I used in the quick bread I mentioned are sweet cherries. They've been quite cheap in the grocery store lately. Recently, I bought a $6 cherry pitter. It is my current toy. I love anything housewares or kitchenwares oriented.

You're kind what you said about my writing. I really love blogging, but you are right on the money about pressure to write. I've gone through periods when I could write several page pieces almost every day of the week. Then, it just stops. I'm not depressed or unmotivated. There are other factors contributing to my recent writer's block.

YUMMY! Can never get enough cherries!

I am sure you have a lot on your mind and also weighing heavily upon your heart right now. Understandably so.

You always sound very well "put together." Yet, we all understand one another fairly well, I think? We all have our "public personas," which do not always indicate the depth of our burdens at any given time. At the same time., I feel the more time we all spend here, the better we are at understanding one another's path. (Whatever that means. I am feeling a bit cloudy today. )

I can write this with certainty: It is such a gift to have you here with us!!!
I appreciate you more and more as I get to know you!!!

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Hi Rose,

It sounds like you have had a lot "stirred up" for awhile, and from a few different sources. I hope you can safely "chill" and take some time out. You might benefit greatly?

I hope you are feeling better, if not now, then ASAP!

I had a bad night. Thanks for your kind words. I don't know when things will calm down for me. My sister that won't talk about my childhood is my biggest support. But she's also very in denial about a lot things that happened long ago. I guess I will just go off what I remember. Which is after my dad died my mom tried to take to her life like 4 times. I was a very scared child untIL I was in the about the 5th grade. Idk, I wis I had my sisters support through this.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by rose1985

I had a bad night. Thanks for your kind words. I don't know when things will calm down for me. My sister that won't talk about my childhood is my biggest support. But she's also very in denial about a lot things that happened long ago. I guess I will just go off what I remember. Which is after my dad died my mom tried to take to her life like 4 times. I was a very scared child untIL I was in the about the 5th grade. Idk, I wis I had my sisters support through this.

Hi Rose,

Sorry you have had a bad night. I think you might well have a few while doing trauma work?

I am also sorry your sister cannot go through some of the family history with you. I do think she may be feeling like she must protect herself from some of the memories. That is not such a "bad" thing. It is her coping mechanism and she feels she needs to take this stance for now. she needs to do whatever she needs to do to be safe.

I am sorry you both have not chosen to address your family trauma at the same time as one another; however, it is rare, in my experience, that sisters do this work within the same exact timing. Often, a sibling will choose to never take the same approach as other siblings.

If you choose this for yourself, then this is your chosen path. Others can assist us on our paths only to the extent that is does not hamper their own path and their own well-being.

I know you want support from your sister. Maybe think of some other ways she lends support without going through the trauma work with you?
I hope there are other ways she does support you. (I think there might be.)

I hope you have a better night tonight!