[Daonnachd]

Nothing as major as a move, but I went out for another good ride. I hope the move goes well for you, Yellow Fleurs.

[Blueberrybook]

Fibro pain is killing me this evening. I hurt so much, I don't even know what to do Nothing helps.

I hope I feel better tomorrow. It's my 15th wedding anniversary. It would be so sucky to spend another day like this.

I did a lot of housework. The house looks pretty good. I also arranged two flower arrangements.

A week ago, my husband and I received a flyer offering that a person would come to give us a price quote on new windows and sliding glass door. Hubby encouraged me to call. During the call, the customer service rep asked a multitude of questions, which sort of annoyed me. Anyway, we set up a date for the person to come this afternoon. He showed up early, when I was luckily dressed, after a shower, but my hair was still wet. I put it up into a bun and went downstairs. The presentation was 90 minutes. Can you believe it? I asked many questions, unlike hubby. I'm always the one that asked the majority of questions. Well, at the end, the guy was expecting we'd already commit to buying something. At least the sliding glass doors, which he said were $3,000. I was even thinking about it, but when the guy went out to his car temporarily, hubby said no. I didn't argue because hubby said no in such a way that was hard to argue with. Then the salesman started getting furious at us. I had to jump in and sort of shut the guy down. I'm a little better at that than hubby because of my background in sales and marketing. I'm also the more diplomatic. I did it to stand by my man. I think the salesman thought I'd over rule my husband. I'm not saying that I always require my husband's OK for things, but for some things I think we should agree. Especially for a $3,000 item.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I did a lot of housework. The house looks pretty good. I also arranged two flower arrangements.

A week ago, my husband and I received a flyer offering that a person would come to give us a price quote on new windows and sliding glass door. Hubby encouraged me to call. During the call, the customer service rep asked a multitude of questions, which sort of annoyed me. Anyway, we set up a date for the person to come this afternoon. He showed up early, when I was luckily dressed, after a shower, but my hair was still wet. I put it up into a bun and went downstairs. The presentation was 90 minutes. Can you believe it? I asked many questions, unlike hubby. I'm always the one that asked the majority of questions. Well, at the end, the guy was expecting we'd already commit to buying something. At least the sliding glass doors, which he said were $3,000. I was even thinking about it, but when the guy went out to his car temporarily, hubby said no. I didn't argue because hubby said no in such a way that was hard to argue with. Then the salesman started getting furious at us. I had to jump in and sort of shut the guy down. I'm a little better at that than hubby because of my background in sales and marketing. I'm also the more diplomatic. I did it to stand by my man. I think the salesman thought I'd over rule my husband. I'm not saying that I always require my husband's OK for things, but for some things I think we should agree. Especially for a $3,000 item.

I find it offensive when sales reps offer to come into your home and then get upset when you decide not to purchase on the spot. Sometimes people need a moment to consider. Sometimes the price is just too high. I always say no to pushy reps. They creep me out. I think it is the desperation.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Moving this weekend. I have some friends helping me with furniture tomorrow, but other than that doing most of it myself. It's just a studio and I don't have that much stuff, but it always seems like more than I remember when I try to move. Worked for 8 hours already and got most boxes moved. I am proud of myself, although I hope this doesn't set me back in physical therapy. I sort of did more than I should have I think. A good workout though! Now I am eating a burrito before I start cleaning. I needed to rest and refuel. I like my new place, though. It's more open and I think I could have friends over. I am feeling pretty happy right now, but in the back of my mind are thoughts telling me I am a bad person and that every time I am nice I am just being fake and it's an act. I need to just not engage with these thoughts I guess? They are annoying and tiring, why do I have to keep getting sucked into this? Also I have noticed when I come across something (perhaps a picture or whatever) that reminds me of a time when I was in a bad place, perhaps depression and OCD thoughts were bad, that it kind of triggers a memory of that feeling. Does anyone else experience something like this I wonder?
Hope everyone's having a nice weekend, I will catch up with posts once I am done running around.

I am excited for you, having a new place!!! It always feels great knowing we have room to invite friends over should we want to do so.

Moving is a huge project and I have found, during the move, I experience lots of emotions. Yes, I do have memories/emotions "triggered" by various things. Yes, the reminder or the trigger causes me to revisit the associated feelings for a little while. It's not unusual to feel a variety of feelings. Be ultra kind to yourself!!!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Nothing as major as a move, but I went out for another good ride. I hope the move goes well for you, Yellow Fleurs.

GREAT!!!
I love riding! I miss it!!!

[Wander]

Yesterday was a busy day. Saw my Mum, did a yoga class, and brought my partner back to my place. I was exhausted, but it is great to be around people. Yoga was interesting too. He was teaching us to be aware of our bodies. It sounds weird but in practice it seems helpful. I have homework now.

Generally my mood seems to be improving but today I’m still very weary. I want my energy back. I’m still trying to find a way forwards. No luck yet. The future looks blank. This does bring me down but I’m hopeful I will find my way again.

[sadveiledbride]

Slowly fading away from this living hell of existence and earth

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by sadveiledbride

Slowly fading away from this living hell of existence and earth

Are you ok? You sound like you may need help. Please get some if you do....things can and will improve and I know that because I've been where you are and now am better.

we care about you.

[sadveiledbride]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Are you ok? You sound like you may need help. Please get some if you do....things can and will improve and I know that because I've been where you are and now am better.

we care about you.

I've gotten help but it seems like it's not doing me the best. thank you for your kind words.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

[Blueberrybook]

I am so mad at my mom Today is my 15th anniversary. She called this morning early to wish me happy anniversary, but it was just before a romantic moment with H, kept calling persistently, home phone, cell phone, left message on our super loud answering machine. It woke my daughter and just ruined things. I know she meant well but who calls a person on the morning of their wedding anniversary, a bigger year even like 15, especially when it falls on the weekend?!

Does she even think about these things? It seemed like a checklist item. "Call daughter to wish happy anniversary. Do it first thing because I have church stuff most of the day."

I am so, so, so ANGRY at her!

[tecomsin]

My pdoc put me back on 150 mg of Wellbutrin for depression. Ever since I got the flu after my father died, I've fallen to a pretty low state. I got the flu the day after my sister got my son to secretly interrogate my mental state at a dinner we had together. He eventually spilled the beans and told me she had suggested I needed to be hospitalized to him and made him promise not to tell me her thoughts. It was all because I disagreed with her about something related to the estate of my father. She had sworn him to secrecy. And she did not raise any objections with me... it was all through my son.

Just before my father died, my best friend at the time dumped me on an outing we had together when she got a phone call to go be with another friend that day. After that I haven't seen or talked to her again.

I've also stopped going to my Emotions Anonymous meetings and my self care has slipped.

I've had very negative thoughts about almost everything, so I am hoping the Wellbutrin will help me reach a better state. Even if I am lonely there is no reason to make myself sad and upset and worried.

I am isolating at home too.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

My pdoc put me back on 150 mg of Wellbutrin for depression. Ever since I got the flu after my father died, I've fallen to a pretty low state. I got the flu the day after my sister got my son to secretly interrogate my mental state at a dinner we had together. He eventually spilled the beans and told me she had suggested I needed to be hospitalized to him and made him promise not to tell me her thoughts. It was all because I disagreed with her about something related to the estate of my father. She had sworn him to secrecy. And she did not raise any objections with me... it was all through my son.

Just before my father died, my best friend at the time dumped me on an outing we had together when she got a phone call to go be with another friend that day. After that I haven't seen or talked to her again.

I've also stopped going to my Emotions Anonymous meetings and my self care has slipped.

I've had very negative thoughts about almost everything, so I am hoping the Wellbutrin will help me reach a better state. Even if I am lonely there is no reason to make myself sad and upset and worried.

I am isolating at home too.

Hi tecomsin,

Sounds like things are feeling bleak?

These "negative" life experiences can certainly trigger more depression. I am so sorry you've had so much and such intense stress.

I hope the Wellbutrin helps you to get back on your feet.
Please forgive me, I have forgotten if you see a therapist?
My pdoc is my therapist. I find the supportive aspect of therapy a life-saver right now. Do you have any support IRL?

I hope the Wellbutrin assists you quickly and without side-effects, my friend!

I am glad you are reaching out. I have found PC members quite generous in lending support.

Love and Prayers~

[Jedi67]

went to bed late around 2 am. just woke up. couldn't sleep at first. ate, took my meds, watching a movie now. anxiety not too bad. had some java but limiting it to 2 cups. we'll see how the rest of the day goes...

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I am so mad at my mom Today is my 15th anniversary. She called this morning early to wish me happy anniversary, but it was just before a romantic moment with H, kept calling persistently, home phone, cell phone, left message on our super loud answering machine. It woke my daughter and just ruined things. I know she meant well but who calls a person on the morning of their wedding anniversary, a bigger year even like 15, especially when it falls on the weekend?!

Does she even think about these things? It seemed like a checklist item. "Call daughter to wish happy anniversary. Do it first thing because I have church stuff most of the day."

I am so, so, so ANGRY at her!

Mothers have a way...

Maybe you can remedy this by planning some time with your husband, just the two of you? Maybe a friend or your sister might take your daughter for a few hours, a day, or an overnight?

I have found it often pays off to be proactive. By this, I mean thinking ahead, making any arrangements necessary, and maximizing the chances of spending time together without interference. I have found this is much more rewarding than just leaving something this important (as this is for you) to chance.

I think you can find a remedy. You are two very intelligent adults.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!
Party On!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by sadveiledbride

Slowly fading away from this living hell of existence and earth

It sounds like you are experiencing severe depression and hopelessness?
You suffer a lot.

I have been hoping you'd be interested in locating some services which might lend you support and might help you in coping with this very stubborn depression?

Of course, when we are stuck in a depressive state, it can be very difficult to initiate any change at all.

What helps you?

What makes things worse?

Keep reaching out!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jedi67

went to bed late around 2 am. just woke up. couldn't sleep at first. ate, took my meds, watching a movie now. anxiety not too bad. had some java but limiting it to 2 cups. we'll see how the rest of the day goes...

I hope the sleep helps in stabilizing mood for you!

I am sorry it is such an ongoing challenge to get things squared away.
I cannot recall, has this mood instability always been so intense?

I am sorry for what you are going through.
I am enJOYing having you around!

Happy Anniversary, Blueberrybook! Will you do anything special with your husband tonight? Consider putting your cell phone on silent.

Hugs, sadveiledbrride and tecomsin!

Hubby and I did a lot of prep for tomorrow. We're finally getting a new kitchen counter. I removed everything from the lower cabinets while he did work outdoors. We have to remove everything from the counters last minute. All of this always leads to cleaning/organization projects. Hubby will be home tomorrow because we may have an issue with the dishwasher.

My husband and I are still trying to sell some stuff we didn't donate to Vietnam Vets. He just got good money for an item he posted on Ebay, but the other stuff is too big to ship. I posted about 10 items on local county online Facebook "yard sale" sites, but no bites. Only three "likes" for the 1954 rotary sewing machine. "Likes" aren't sales. We'll see. Some stuff may eventually have to go for free to get rid of it. It's a shame! Many things are brand new never used. Others are vintage working items. We're asking for far less than Ebay or Etsy. Often the easiest way to get rid of stuff for free is to put it at the end of the driveway on sunny days with a big "Free" sign. Anything with any value goes. The two valuable books may go to the library or a used book shop.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Happy Anniversary, Blueberrybook! Will you do anything special with your husband tonight? Consider putting your cell phone on silent.

Hugs, sadveiledbrride and tecomsin!

Yeah, I think so. We need to disconnect the home phone too.

My mom just does have a way sometimes...

I will call her probably late tomorrow as she really does do church stuff all day Sunday since my dad “got religion” in exactly the wrong type of way...

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I am so mad at my mom Today is my 15th anniversary. She called this morning early to wish me happy anniversary, but it was just before a romantic moment with H, kept calling persistently, home phone, cell phone, left message on our super loud answering machine. It woke my daughter and just ruined things. I know she meant well but who calls a person on the morning of their wedding anniversary, a bigger year even like 15, especially when it falls on the weekend?!

Does she even think about these things? It seemed like a checklist item. "Call daughter to wish happy anniversary. Do it first thing because I have church stuff most of the day."

I am so, so, so ANGRY at her!

Wow. She couldn't have left a message on the first number she called and left it at that? Im sorry you missed out on your romanic moment.

[Daonnachd]

Mothers and phones... Well, in my case, mother-in-law...


Another good ride today. I live atop a mountain so they always entail a severe climb. I'm exhausted, but exercise is good for us.

[Sunflower123]

Uuuggghhh...dealing with an incredibly toxic person who is a family member today. If I could distance myself I would but it would hurt mom too much. I just want some peace. I dislike the feelings of hurt, anger, tension and anxiety when I get around this person. I’ve tried everything I can think of to resolve it and it hasn’t worked. I’m tired of watering weeds.

She is hostile, aggressive, judgmental, unsupportive and generally an unpleasant person. It’s hard to be around... especially the screaming.

On a brighter note..it’s a beautiful day and I got a lot done around the house this morning. I’m looking forward to next week. It gets me closer to seeing M and I have a few fun activities lined up.

Warm wishes to all for a peaceful Sunday.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by sadveiledbride

Slowly fading away from this living hell of existence and earth

I think you need more often appts to make changes in meds as needed.

Are you able to go take a short walk or just sit in the sun daily for 15-30 mins.

Most every person that struggles with MI have extremely low levels of Vitamin D, the sun will help but I also take a daily supplement , it’s cheap wouldn’t hurt to take a few supplements daily.