I’m panicking. I’m very, VERY anxious. I keep shaking my leg and feel nervous energy in my chest, as if I’m about to have a full-blown panic attack.

I don’t know why I am anxious, but I am. Every little sound or movement makes my heart race, and I can’t help but feel like I’m being watched, like there are cameras scattered across my apartment, set up by the apartment complex staff. I feel the presence of a supernatural force.

I used to have a 1mg klonopin prescription, but I lost it a long time ago. Plus, it’s probably expired by this point anyway, so it doesn’t matter if I can find it or not.

My pdoc stopped prescribing klonopin a long time ago because we agreed that I would go on Zoloft instead. I also never really used my klonopin Rx anyway, so I was fine with not getting a prescription for it. (I think I took it a grand total of 3 or 4 times over the span of 2 years...?) But now... now I’m anxious as f*** and could really use a klonopin right about now. I’ve never had severe anxiety that has lasted this long.

What can I do to alleviate this anxiety? I’m thinking about begging my pdoc for a klonopin Rx, but his assistant takes FOREVER to return calls. She also doesn’t even relay messages to him correctly half of the time. Not to mention she gets my name wrong all the time and calls me Michaela, when my name sounds NOTHING like Michaela and doesn’t even begin with an M! I know from history that she takes about 2 days to get back to me (and it may take even longer to get an Rx if she can’t relay information properly), so I need coping mechanisms for the interim.

[Blue_Bird]

I take long vigorous walks when I'm extremely anxious, it helps calm me down

[fern46]

Have you had a med change lately? What are you taking? I had anxiety creep up on me all of a sudden after a few months on Risperdal. My doctor was going to give me anti anxiety meds, but I insisted anxiety is not normal for me and he conceded that the Risperdal might be to blame. I went off it and the anxiety disappeared.

I had to use thought distractions a lot. I sang songs to myself. I cleaned my house and took on small projects. I wrote. I played games. I exercised.

I know it can feel terrible. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

[Victoria'smom]

Drinking something really cold through a straw helps me.

[MickeyCheeky]

When I feel anxious I usualy try to find some distractions - usually watching some movies or TV shows can help since they require little "effort" on your part. I'm sure you know that already. Hang in there. Anxiety sucks! I hope your Pdoc will get back at you REALLY soon and will be able to prescribe to you some better Meds to regulate your Anxiety. Give it a try. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Keep posting here. You can also PM me if you wish. I'll listen and won't judge. The same is true for EVERYONE here. Keep sharing here if you wish to do so. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @bluebicycle, your Family, your Friends and ALL Of Your Loved Ones!

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I take long vigorous walks when I'm extremely anxious, it helps calm me down

Thanks. I made an effort to go outside when I went downstairs to check my mail in the mail room. (I figured... 2 birds with 1 stone...) However, I had a panic attack when I stepped outside. I felt particularly vulnerable and uncomfortable, so I went back inside and now I'm back in my bedroom with all the doors shut because I'm freaking out.

Originally Posted by fern46

Have you had a med change lately? What are you taking? I had anxiety creep up on me all of a sudden after a few months on Risperdal. My doctor was going to give me anti anxiety meds, but I insisted anxiety is not normal for me and he conceded that the Risperdal might be to blame. I went off it and the anxiety disappeared.

I had to use thought distractions a lot. I sang songs to myself. I cleaned my house and took on small projects. I wrote. I played games. I exercised.

I know it can feel terrible. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

No. I stopped taking my Rexulti, but that was like 1.5 weeks ago after slowly tapering off it myself.

I'll probably try cleaning since my apartment is a mess anyways. I suppose it may serve as a distraction -- although I'm feeling very suspicious of people's intentions right now and that's been nagging me in the back of my mind.

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Drinking something really cold through a straw helps me.

I wish I had a straw or I'd try that.

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

When I feel anxious I usualy try to find some distractions - usually watching some movies or TV shows can help since they require little "effort" on your part. I'm sure you know that already. Hang in there. Anxiety sucks! I hope your Pdoc will get back at you REALLY soon and will be able to prescribe to you some better Meds to regulate your Anxiety. Give it a try. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Keep posting here. You can also PM me if you wish. I'll listen and won't judge. The same is true for EVERYONE here. Keep sharing here if you wish to do so. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @bluebicycle, your Family, your Friends and ALL Of Your Loved Ones!

I didn't actually contact my pdoc yet because I've been trying to listen to nature sounds and stuff to relax (although it's not really helping...). I guess I'll call in a few.

I do have some digital copies of TV shows, along with Netflix and Amazon Prime memberships, so I could try that. Thanks for the idea.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Thanks. I made an effort to go outside when I went downstairs to check my mail in the mail room. (I figured... 2 birds with 1 stone...) However, I had a panic attack when I stepped outside. I felt particularly vulnerable and uncomfortable, so I went back inside and now I'm back in my bedroom with all the doors shut because I'm freaking out.

That's good that you made the effort though

I'm struggling similarly, the thought of leaving my apartment makes me extremely anxious lately, I was able to go earlier today but I had planned on going out this afternoon and I really just feel like staying in with my curtains covering the windows in my safe place

[fern46]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

No. I stopped taking my Rexulti, but that was like 1.5 weeks ago after slowly tapering off it myself.

I'll probably try cleaning since my apartment is a mess anyways. I suppose it may serve as a distraction -- although I'm feeling very suspicious of people's intentions right now and that's been nagging me in the back of my mind.

Anxiety can be a psyc med withdrawal symptom too. I'd give this some time to play out on its own before asking for a new med. Your brain made adjustments to accommodate being on the med and now it is learning it no longer needs those adjustments. The med used to block certain chemicals in the brain and now your receptors are being flooded without it. I have read it can take weeks and even months before you level back out even if you weaned slowly.

I know it can be hard to function when you are feeling suspicious of other's intentions. The energy can sort of flood you and then you hyperfocus on what you believe they are thinking or feeling. What you percieve as their state then becomes your own and its an ugly cycle.

I practice a visualization technique when I am feeling overwhelmed by others. I imagine myself in an egg shapped bubble. I imagine it has a semi permeable shell and I control what flows in and out. I imagine I am able to block everything coming in and then I focus on what I want to send out. If my thought strays back to others I recognize it, stop it and redirect it back to myself. I reset my intention. If I am struggling to find serenity I focus on that. If I want to be happy, I think of happy memories and surround myself in that. The goal is to ground myself less and less in the energy of others and more and more into my focused thoughts. Resetting might happen a ton at first amd then slowly I am able to just do my own thing without worrying about others around me. I also find that when I am focused on a positive version of my own intent, others respond in kind. I realize this is all a bit of quackery, but it works for me. I'm pretty sensitive to the energy of other people. This is especially true in crowds.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by fern46

Anxiety can be a psyc med withdrawal symptom too. I'd give this some time to play out on its own before asking for a new med. Your brain made adjustments to accommodate being on the med and now it is learning it no longer needs those adjustments. The med used to block certain chemicals in the brain and now your receptors are being flooded without it. I have read it can take weeks and even months before you level back out even if you weaned slowly.

I know it can be hard to function when you are feeling suspicious of other's intentions. The energy can sort of flood you and then you hyperfocus on what you believe they are thinking or feeling. What you percieve as their state then becomes your own and its an ugly cycle.

I practice a visualization technique when I am feeling overwhelmed by others. I imagine myself in an egg shapped bubble. I imagine it has a semi permeable shell and I control what flows in and out. I imagine I am able to block everything coming in and then I focus on what I want to send out. If my thought strays back to others I recognize it, stop it and redirect it back to myself. I reset my intention. If I am struggling to find serenity I focus on that. If I want to be happy, I think of happy memories and surround myself in that. The goal is to ground myself less and less in the energy of others and more and more into my focused thoughts. Resetting might happen a ton at first amd then slowly I am able to just do my own thing without worrying about others around me. I also find that when I am focused on a positive version of my own intent, others respond in kind. I realize this is all a bit of quackery, but it works for me. I'm pretty sensitive to the energy of other people. This is especially true in crowds.

Quackery?I think not. I know of many people who employ this or a similar version and they often feel a sense of relief. As you have pointed out, clear intentions about what we DO want will likely improve the efficacy of this and of similar visualization experiences.

I have often found this exercise helpful and I encourage others to try it.
Thanks, fern, for mentioning this. I sometimes forget what I already know and reminders are very helpful.

Love to All~

[Wild Coyote]

Hi Blue, I have written you via PM. I had not visited the forum and did not realize you had started a thread. Please let me know if I can help in any way.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Quackery?I think not. I know of many people who employ this or a similar version and they often feel a sense of relief. As you have pointed out, clear intentions about what we DO want will likely improve the efficacy of this and of similar visualization experiences.

I have often found this exercise helpful and I encourage others to try it.
Thanks, fern, for mentioning this. I sometimes forget what I already know and reminders are very helpful.

Love to All~

Well no it isnt quackery to me, but some perceive it to be so I wanted to allow for disbelief. Sometimes its easier to give something like this a shot if you can laugh at it a little. I'm happy to know someone else had had success with similar techniques. Thanks WC!

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

No. I stopped taking my Rexulti, but that was like 1.5 weeks ago after slowly tapering off it myself.

I'll probably try cleaning since my apartment is a mess anyways. I suppose it may serve as a distraction -- although I'm feeling very suspicious of people's intentions right now and that's been nagging me in the back of my mind.

It's been suggested this might be a discontinuation symptom. Might be.

Alternatively, it could be cycling because you've come off a med that's helping to keep you stable. This pattern has happened with you before and more than once. I'm trying to remember what you are on currently. Was it just an AD and ritalin? I remember you wanting that combo, (despite it being a recipe for disaster). I know how you feel about APs, but it seems you go off the rails without one onboard. Paranoia has already started, I hope you can nip this in the bud.

In terms of alleviating anxiety, I'm a big fan of distraction, which for me usually involves watching dvds, especially funny ones. I like cleaning too. In fact, when I'm anxious, like say, someone is coming to my place, I'm always to be found in cleaning mode, lol. Even if they're only popping by for a very short time. Do you have some electronics to fiddle with? If you're too anxious to go outside, maybe you could just do jumping jacks indoors. With so many noisy neighbors, they've got no business minding a bit of noise from you for a change!

How are you doing today?

[~Christina]

I’m sorry Blue

I hope you can find somethings that will work well for a distraction.

I’m always around feel free to PM me !

Originally Posted by Innerzone

It's been suggested this might be a discontinuation symptom. Might be.

Alternatively, it could be cycling because you've come off a med that's helping to keep you stable. This pattern has happened with you before and more than once. I'm trying to remember what you are on currently. Was it just an AD and ritalin? I remember you wanting that combo, (despite it being a recipe for disaster). I know how you feel about APs, but it seems you go off the rails without one onboard. Paranoia has already started, I hope you can nip this in the bud.

In terms of alleviating anxiety, I'm a big fan of distraction, which for me usually involves watching dvds, especially funny ones. I like cleaning too. In fact, when I'm anxious, like say, someone is coming to my place, I'm always to be found in cleaning mode, lol. Even if they're only popping by for a very short time. Do you have some electronics to fiddle with? If you're too anxious to go outside, maybe you could just do jumping jacks indoors. With so many noisy neighbors, they've got no business minding a bit of noise from you for a change!

How are you doing today?

The guy beneath me is a total psychopath, so I don’t want to anger him.

Possible trigger:

I hear him throwing things, beating his wife/gf, yelling, swearing at her, insulting her, etc and then the wife/gf crying and pleading him to stop. Like the other day he called her a “dumb f***ing b****.” Then after he swears and throws things, he starts laughing hysterically. He does this ALL the time. He’s a total nut job. I don’t want to report him though because I don’t want him coming after me. I think he’s a very angry drunk because I hear them holding drunk parties all the time. He is terrifying. I also don’t know what is truly going on down there, so I try my best to block it out. I’m afraid if I call the cops, he’s gonna know it was me who did it.

So yes, I just let him be noisy. I wish he would stop, but I doubt he’s gonna do that. He seems aggressive and mean, and who knows if a violent, dangerous guy like him has a gun.

Anyway, no, I’m on lamictal too right now, just not rexulti.

I called my therapist against my better judgment, asking her for advice on handling anxiety. I told her I tried progressive muscle relaxation, breathing exercises, soothing sounds, etc..Then all she said was that she wants me to take rexulti. I told her point blank that my pdoc said he can’t force me to take it if I don’t want to take it. She asked why I was against taking it, and I literally said, “I don’t feel comfortable taking it.” Then she said she wants to talk to me on Friday about my dislike for antipsychotics.

I did not tell her about the supernatural presence or the fact that I feel like I’m being watched. I don’t think she’d understand my anxiety about that because she’s probably never been watched before, so she doesn’t know. And supernatural presence is something that I can sense. Not sure if she can.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I’m sorry Blue

I hope you can find somethings that will work well for a distraction.

I’m always around feel free to PM me !

Ok. If I have anything, I will PM you

[Wild Coyote]

Just checking in with you, Blue. My day had gotten very busy. You have been on my mind, however. i hope you have had a reasonably good day. I also hope you have a decent night.

Does that guy act up every night, or more so on weekends? Anytime would be to much!
Is there a way to totally block him out?
It's not a good environment for you.

Innerzone is right on. The Entity, and more, surface when you drop your anti-psychotic med. I am sorry you suffer in this way.

I am concerned about you.. and am here for you..

[yellow_fleurs]

I don't know what will help you, but here's a list of what works for me (at least sometimes). Feel free to try these out! They are in no particular order

1. Exercise or movement of any kind. Anxiety can be like fear to me and I need to literally run sometimes.
2. Distracting myself by talking to a close friend.
3. Eating a healthy meal. Sugar and caffeine seriously amp up my anxiety as does skipping meals and getting low blood sugar. A meal of protein and healthy carbs can ground me. Do skip the caffeine if you can.
4. Making myself feel cozy and safe. Perhaps making the room bright and cheery, putting on a happy movie, wrapping up in a blanket. What works for you may vary but just creating that kind of environment.
5. Adequate sleep. This will knock anxiety out for me sometimes as it can happen when I am lacking sleep.
6. Getting out in nature. This is always calming for me. On a related note, gardening is calming for me.
7. Blocking out the sensory overload. Sometimes this is the cause of anxiety for me, and making things dark, quiet or listening to music to block out other noises can sometimes help.
8. Deep breathing and meditation sometimes really does help.
9. Getting lost in an activity I enjoy, especially if it requires concentration and consumes my attention.
10. Sometimes talking to myself with self compassion in a soothing way, even if just in my head, and reminding myself I am safe, this is just anxiety, and to be mindful of it can be calming.
11. Taking a shower (or bath). It can be refreshing and relaxing for me.

I hope you get your anxiety under control. If not maybe talk to your therapist?

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Just checking in with you, Blue. My day had gotten very busy. You have been on my mind, however. i hope you have had a reasonably good day. I also hope you have a decent night.

Does that guy act up every night, or more so on weekends? Anytime would be to much!
Is there a way to totally block him out?
It's not a good environment for you.

Innerzone is right on. The Entity, and more, surface when you drop your anti-psychotic med. I am sorry you suffer in this way.

I am concerned about you.. and am here for you..

He acts up randomly. It’s not everyday. At least once a week for sure, though.

It’s kind of hard to block him out when your windows are literally vibrating from his loud TV. I’m sure he irritates others as well because you can hear him from outside, especially when he hosts those drunk parties outside. (He lives on the first floor and his porch is connected to the parking lot, where they all drink.) But because he’s terrifying, I don’t think anyone wants to say anything. I wish I could help the poor lady since it really sounds like she’s being abused.

I try to listen to music or YouTube, although sometimes I can still hear him through that.

I don’t live in the ghetto or a crime-ridden neighborhood. In fact, this area is one of the more “desirable” areas to live, but it just goes to show that abuse can happen anywhere.

Anyway, I’ll talk to my therapist tomorrow about my concerns regarding long-term antipsychotic use.

I’m still anxious today about the supernatural force, and that someone is watching me through cameras. Part of me says that no way this isn’t true. But then another part of me physically feels the energy emanating from the supernatural force. I mean, if it wasn’t real, why would I feel it?

[fern46]

Hey Blue. I understand what you mean about feeling a supernatural force emanating energy around you. I experienced that when I was in psychosis. I also had the experience that I was living in a not so real reality. Both of those felt 100% true at the time.

I am an analyst and a strategist. I've been here looking for patterns ever since I got sick about 9 months ago. I feel like if I can understand how psychosis manifests, I can better recognize it in the future and separate my delusions from reality. I have noticed a pattern here with several of us who experience psychosis. We feel there is an energy force that is beyond us that is exerting force upon us. Some of these are positive and some are negative. I realize there are things outside of my knowing that I cannot explain. However, it strikes me as important that the experiences with these energies resolve when certain medication changes are made. That leads me to believe that this is a manifestation of the brain and our brains are incorrectly interpreting a phenomena we create for ourselves. The alternative would mean the entity senses when your meds are right and then goes away. That seems possible, but honestly far less likely.

My belief is you are experiencing psychosis. Try telling yourself that your brain is misfiring and responding incorrectly to an increase in neural activity. That may help you deal with the feelings. I don't know if that will work, but it is the best plan I've crafted for myself if this ever happens to me again. I also plan to visualize my little bubble I spoke about earlier and to focus on pulsing out the energy I want to emit as opposed to worrying about outside forces acting upon me. I think of us as having both transmission and reception centers and focusing more on what I am consciously sending out will maybe help me to forget about the manifestations around me.

I hope this helps a little. I do know how this feels and it was very uncomfortable for me. I hope you find some peace today.

Hi bluebicycle. I'm sorry to read that you are still struggling with anxiety. I am sorry I'm late in supporting you in this thread.

The beauty of all of the responses here are that there are a great variety of them. I know from experience that it takes trying a number of things to see what helps best. Also, I've had different types of anxiety, at times, that sometimes respond well to different things than previous bouts of anxiety did.

I also don't think visualization techniques are quackery. I've had more than one wise psychologist recommend using them. They have often helped me combat certain types of anxiety, but sometimes require practice. A lot of anxiety fighting tactics require practice.

I may seem like a broken record suggesting this, but using a Dysfunctional Thought Record (available for free online) has been the overall most helpful anxiety fighter for me. It helps fight dysfunctional thinking. That helps combat anxious thinking, depressed thinking, other dysfunctional thinking, and even manic type thinking, to a degree. This includes anxious feelings that may not have an obvious cause. You know, like "Why am I anxious? I can't figure out why, but I am anyway." There is a very good web article about this on the International Bipolar Foundation website at Putting Your Thoughts on Trial: How to Use CBT Thought Records | International Bipolar Foundation .

You may also want to consider if the anxiety is related to some anxious hypomania, which is common. It is often an anxiety that fits into the "no obvious cause" category. The importance in knowing this is that it may affect a psychiatrist's medication prescribing strategy.

[Nevuary]

I can totally sympathize with your description of this panic episode. When I get a panic attack, I am paralyzed. The period just before and after the attack are longer than the actual attack and just as disruptive to my life. Paranoia can hit me hard like it has you.


I have struggled with panic attacks for over 30 years. I have had different strategies of dealing with them over time. I have finally found a way that helps me get through them a lot easier. I remind myself that I am actually safe. I remind myself that this is a trick of my biochemistry and it will pass. I do deep breathing exercises to regulate my heartbeat and stop the sweating. We tend to breathe more shallow when in a panic and getting air deep into the lungs really helps. I also place a cold cloth on the back of my neck or forehead.

I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. Know that you are never alone.
Nevuary

[Wild Coyote]

Hi Blue! Just checking in for the day. I have been thinking of you.
How has your day been going for you?

I gave in and took a higher dose of Seroquel last night. I finally slept. Many symptoms went away. I was left too tired, too groggy for too much of the day. Yet, I could not have functioned well today if I had not slept either. Sometimes, it feels like a catch-22. I am hoping that if I can sleep on a regular basis that the odd symptoms will go away and I can finally get more done during the day. You and I talk about meds quite a bit, so wanted to let you know what I ended up doing with mine last night.

Maybe you have a note in the check-in thread. I'll go look.