Bipolar Check-In #38

Your upright and moving forward !! Yes worthy of a celebration each day!

Now ..... if we can only get you sleeping consistently well. Maybe I’ll use my Harry Potter wand and mix up some eye of newt and magic sprinkles and fling it your way lol !

Oh my friend I wish I could do so

This is what stops me. My family and the fact that once as a consequence of me being sui my son attempted. I am determined to hang on even if it means going back on the dreaded Epilim.

Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for sharing

That's how I feel, that the physical is harder to deal with than the bipolar and I don't have as many chronic illness as you do. Between my back and my neck I don't do much cause pain! I used to love stuff like art fairs and renaissance festivals but now I'm stopped by my back cause I know the pain will keep me from walking far and I'll get irritable and crabby. I really should invest in one of those wheeled walkers cause they have seats on them and I'd have a place to sit when the pain flares.

I hate that you have to suffer pain that does indeed change your daily life let alone fun trips for festivals and the like.

The wheeled walker with the seat does sound like a wonderful tool that will help you enjoy more !!

Most all health insurances covers it fully ... all you need a script from your Doctor

I enjoy reading about your adventures.

I haven't cycled in 3 years now and your stores keep me inspired to get back to it once I'm feeling a little better. It's a great coping strategy and the constant motion while checking is very helpful.

Ugh, I have to work today. Every other company in Massachusetts seems to get the day off except us. I'm sure there are SOME who don't get the day off, but they are few and far between.

I hope today is a productive day for me, but I'm so tired right now that I'm doubtful. I need to go back to bed... I can't go back to bed, though; I'll end up sleeping too much, and that'll affect my mood as well as affect my ability to get things done.

Anyways, I hope everyone has a wonderful day today. For those of you who are struggling, I hope you feel better soon. Remember that self care is important.

I'm sorry I have not kept up with posts in this thread as well as usual. I have tried to read as many posts here, as possible. I see many people are struggling to varying degrees. I send you all hugs. I promise I will be a better supporter as soon as I can.

I have not been doing well. I told my psychiatrist last week that my moods seem to be cycling as fast as within the same day or two. That's not usual for me. I do see it as a warning sign. I have also experienced some issues that had been absent for a while. One is maladaptive daydreaming and the other, which I only really realized yesterday, were likely visual hallucinations (type?) and derealization. Probably all related. I think the mood spikes are part of what brings this on. I also realize I've experienced the usual triggers I had in the past. Sometimes it takes days for me to finally ask the question: Why are people looking so concerned about me? Why does my psychiatrist keep scheduling appointments only two week between each other, and telling me I should call him if I need to -- even on the days he's at a psycho-pharmacological conference? OK. Now I got it!

My husband and I saw the movie "Joker" last night. It was pretty disturbing. Joaquin Phoenix's performance was outstanding and it was very creatively directed, but unfortunately it did sort of stigmatize mental illness. I wish that hadn't been part of it. Hubby and I discussed that that was not really the movie's real intent. It was actually more a criticism of the current political situation in the US. Yes, it had a political leaning, which I won't discuss. It is surely a one of a kind movie, or the closest one to it was "Bird Man", with Michael Keaton. Before it started, all of the previewed movies were the same ole same ole thing. Action killer movies. You know. Even a new "Terminator" film. There was killing in the "Joker", but it had symbolic meaning, rather than a more literal one. As a dance enthusiast, I was quite impressed with Joaquin's dancing, which he did a lot of in the film. The dancing itself was something I related to a lot. Again, it had a meaning.

My brother texted me this morning saying that he was working in my area. I haven't seen him for a while. Of course I love to see him, but given my mood, I am a little worried about the visit. Last night I didn't take my evening meds until late because of the movie outing. That sometimes affects me negatively. I need to really practice grounding techniques.

PC friends, if ever my behavior here is extremely different than my usual, particularly aggressive or totally over the top, would you please look past it? On some other website the other day, I really typed some doozies. I'm glad I didn't do that here, though this site wouldn't have triggered it like that one did. I think they finally understood there. One member suggested I show my husband what I wrote. I didn't. I don't want to worry him. Plus, I'm a touch better now.

Birddancer I hope you feel better soon.

I made it through volunteering. The kids are really good night is worse for me. I'm trying to figure out my symptoms for the past 7 weeks because I see p doc tomorrow. I think she's going to change stuff. I need to condence things. 15 min isn't enough.

It is hard to condense everything down when you've experienced so much. Just be sure to prioritize the list in some way in case you don't have a chance to get through all of it. I'd rank them by how much each symptom is affecting my quality of life, but there are a number of scales you could use.

Good job with the kids today! It is wonderful of you to give them your time and attention.

Hi BirdDancer,

I have not been able to keep up lately either. We can only do what we can do!
I'd like to think we'd all look past anyone experiencing difficulties. I think we'd do our best to do whatever you'd find helpful, if anything.
I have had concerns, too, at times, especially when I am having ongoing issues with dissociation. I am concerned I might write a grossly disjointed post.
I admire you and have a lot of love for you in my heart!
I hope you feel better soon!
Much Love ~

Thank you, my dear PC friend! I feel the same way about you.

Don't you ever worry about how you write. I understand. I'm sorry you are still having such trouble with dissociative issues. I know that the dissociative issues themselves are extremely disconcerting, but even more so are the reasons/triggers for them. You will heal from them. I have, and will get past this temporary challenge.

I got my section 8 recert. paperwork turned in. Just one more thing i need to send in that's coming in the mail.

Since n3 turned 18 i feel broke. No more child support. I wish i could get a part time job but not have if affect my disability.

@BirdDancer I hope you feel better soon. Having all that at once must be stressful. My pdoc does that too: schedule my appointments close if Im not doing well. And what with my feeling bad the other day she's likely to schedule my next one close again. I see her this wednesday.

Hugs to everybody!

ETA: Im having coffee with my eldest- just turned 22 yesterday! After this, I take n3 to piano. I'll read throughout the lesson. Im getting near the end.

Well, my day was unexpectedly cut short. It's a long story, but my work laptop's hard disk is completely full and I can't delete anything on the laptop to make room because my laptop says I need to enter my password to confirm the deletion of things, yet I CAN'T enter my password because the laptop doesn't have enough memory to process the password!!

Stupid technology.

I was running a piece of software that my company had made and that's when it overloaded my hard disk. It wasn't supposed to do that. It wasn't supposed to create any files (even though it did), and despite that, it was supposed to at least check the hard disk first before trying to create files. Ughhhh.

Well, guess I'm going to try reading or something... Not sure what else to do with the rest of my day. I need to clean too.

Wow! I am glad you are taking this in stride. I think I'd be a mess! I'd then text Blue, try to explain things and she'd tell me what was going on with the computer and ... I still would not understand, but I'd deeply appreciate her effots and... be so grateful for how she had helped me to feel much less frantic!

It's nice to know you, Blue!
You have been a very good friend to me and I am so grateful!

Definitely more agitated today. I was bouncing my leg most of the day. Really annoyed at everything. I calmed down around 1pm. Now I am a little down again but not that bad. I read that agitation is a common side effect of Wellbutrin so I’m hoping it’s just a passing thing.

Stomach pain is getting bad again. It went away for a couple of weeks but now it’s back again. Waiting for insurance to kick in on nov 1 to get it checked out. I know I’m going to have to have an ultrasound of my liver and gallbladder even though I’ve had them before so I know that’s not the problem. I’m going to probably have to get an endoscopy. I will have to take time off work for all this. But right now I’m just a sub sub so it wouldn’t really affect anything. I just don’t get paid for those days.

I also have to get my diabetes symptoms checked out. So many things insurance is good for!

I am feeling wiped out. It feels like I am coming down with some form of a respiratory illness. I have tried to keep on track today. It's taken an extreme amount of effort. I am ready for bed right now. I probably would retire for the evneing right now ,if I lived alone. I might have to anyway. Love to All!

(((((( Wildflowerchild ))))))

Thinking of you and wishing you the best!

I didn't even know what day you were referring to when you said people are getting today off. I just looked it up. I can't imagine anyone in NJ getting Colombus Day off other than maybe state workers. Do Federal workers get Colombus Day off? As for NJ state workers, my Dad used to joke that they get so many days off for holidays that they even get the day off for the "First Day of the Mating Season of the Great Horned Owl".

Where you able to get some work done ?

I’m so sorry your struggling. You have had a lot hit you in the past couple months. I’m glad your seeing your Pdoc more frequently. Keep doing self care, post here. I hope things get back to normal for you quickly.

I’m always around if you need someone

WildCoyote I hope you feel better soon!

Nope!!! I do not approve of you catching a bug of any sort !! Push to increase fluids!! Are you eating enough?

Love ya bunches

Loads of pain today Fibro and PsA I’m like a slow moving wheezing slug

I see my Doctor tomorrow about my malfunctioning lungs

Doing really good today. Balanced, content, happy. Even though I've been sick for days. Feeling okay about life and good with everything. Looking forward to starting therapy and getting healthier. I've come to realize I am so negligent of my health sometimes....and want to change that. It's like you get so busy with how overwhelming life is and don'r notice the warning signs your body is giving you that something is wrong. Paying attention is important.