[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

My eldest son came to visit for the holidays!

FANTASTIC!!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Thank you everyone for all the support, fern, wander, wild coyote,bird dancer, bpcyclist, SP, and anyone else I'm missing, it means a lot to me

I ended up seeing my therapist and my doctor today so my wellbutrin was increased a bit. I'm hoping that it's helpful. My doctor said we'll take things slow and see how it goes, since I've had a rough few months of mania then depression. My therapist gave me some helpful articles and also a flyer for their crisis center in case I start doing really bad and if it's not business hours/days I have someone to talk to/someplace to go. I feel a little more hopeful.

I'm very thankful to have good friends here on PC and supportive people, it's extremely helpful especially since I've felt like I'm alone in the world lately.
Thank you guys

You are an incredibly sweet person and it is a immense pleasure to support you.

You take a lot of responsibility for yourself, which I greatly admire!

[Wild Coyote]

I had reported I'd been pushing myself physically. I continue to do so to a lesser degree. I've needed to devote more time/energy to more sedentary tasks.

I have been super busy with:

- trying to beat the deadline of 12/31. There are certain benefits I should use, verifications I need to obtain, all before 12/31, so I may utilize them again in 2020, if needed.

- I am in the midst of filing Discrimination and Violations of Rights Complaints against the Social Security Admin. Thus far, I have documented any/all interactions with this agency, have done the research, have drafted the (several)documents and letters and have sent a couple of the packets out via Certified Mail.. I have a couple more drafts to do,, which should be easier, as the main/major documents have been completed and will be utilized as "enclosures."

A couple of officials have received their legal Notices of Alleged Discrimination and Alleged Violations or Rights packets, confirmed via return receipts. I expect a response or two at any moment, which will likely prove quite interesting . I may or may not need an attorney at any moment. Lol! Time will tell. (I am currently restricted from sharing further / more specific info. at this time.)

- I continue to negotiate "The Divorce."

- I have been informed we are expecting between 25 - 35 guests on Christmas. Any prep needs to be done within the next 48 hours.

I only have so much energy and thinking/focusing "juice" available, as I am also dealing with the extra chronic fatigue and chronic pain at all times. I could use a getaway right about now. The added stress tends to "drain" me as well.

Exercise has taken a back seat for a week or so now. I hope things settle down and/or become much easier in the New Year!

It's critically important for me to make sure exercise is high priority. I will have my change(s) in "lifestyle" plan more fully outlined by 12/31 at the latest.

Many have asked what I've been up to. Just a few recent activities listed above.

Love to All!

[yellow_fleurs]

Wild Coyote what a list! You are quite busy it seems. As always, I am impressed by your ability to keep it together under pressure. Do you really have to prepare for 25-35 guests? Will you have some help?

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Depressed and essentially non functional. Idk if it's just me or if it's the Thorazine. Either way I feel horrible

Possible trigger:

and want to die

I try so hard to be positive but lately it's hard. Maybe I'll talk to my sister about it tomorrow.

I’m so sad to read this I know you just had an increase... maybe it was too much.

What are you doing to distract your self??? Can you self ground?

Yes do indeed talk to your sister !!

If things don’t improve it gets worse or you just don’t think you can stay safe please please go to the ER

I’m always around , PM me if you need an ear

I don't feel right mentally and I can't sleep because I'm not tired, but whatever. Maybe I'm just exhausted from my trip yet not exhausted enough to sleep. (I'm in that weird in-between stage, basically.)

I did watch 6 episodes of one of my TV shows today to pass time by, so that helped a little with the boredom. I've felt "off" the entire time, though. I just can't put my finger on *why*, exactly. Mood is fine right now, however.

I hope that my feeling "off" doesn't turn into something bad, but I'm sure I'll be fine. I'm probably overreacting and being too anxious about it.

In other news, I can't wait for Christmas to be OVER. The holidays are just stressful as hell. So much to do in so little time -- although thankfully, I have therapy not too long afterwards!! Should be great to decompress and let out my frustrations.

I hope everyone has/had a good holiday, whether you celebrate Christmas, kwanzaa, Hanukkah, etc..

[childofchaos831]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Depressed and essentially non functional. Idk if it's just me or if it's the Thorazine. Either way I feel horrible

Possible trigger:

and want to die

I try so hard to be positive but lately it's hard. Maybe I'll talk to my sister about it tomorrow.

I kept getting extremely depressed

Possible trigger:

and sui

when I was on Thorazine.

Possible trigger:

I attempted in October and again middle of December.

The pdoc in the hospital took me off Thorazine and put me on Abilify Maintena, the shot. I've been responding really well to the Abilify, so far. We'll see how it goes.

I guess I just wanted to comment, because with newtus's experience with Haldol and us both being depressed on Thorazine, it could actually be the medicine.

I sincerely hope the new year increase of Wellbutrin helps and you start to feel better soon.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

I kept getting extremely depressed

Possible trigger:

and sui

when I was on Thorazine.

Possible trigger:

I attempted in October and again middle of December.

The pdoc in the hospital took me off Thorazine and put me on Abilify Maintena, the shot. I've been responding really well to the Abilify, so far. We'll see how it goes.

I guess I just wanted to comment, because with newtus's experience with Haldol and us both being depressed on Thorazine, it could actually be the medicine.

I sincerely hope the new year increase of Wellbutrin helps and you start to feel better soon.

Thank you, I appreciate your reply! I'm also on abilify too in addition to the thorazine. I'm hoping the welbutrin increase helps, it's been really rough. Ideally I don't want to go off the thorazine because it is very helpful for psychotic symptoms and sleep but I guess I'll see how things go

I'm glad to hear you're okay and doing well

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I’m so sad to read this I know you just had an increase... maybe it was too much.

What are you doing to distract your self??? Can you self ground?

Yes do indeed talk to your sister !!

If things don’t improve it gets worse or you just don’t think you can stay safe please please go to the ER

I’m always around , PM me if you need an ear

Thank you Christina, I saw my therapist and doctor today. My wellbutrin was increased in hopes to help with the depression. I also have a crisis number I can call if things get too bad.

For distractions I've been reading, playing games, getting out of the house, and listening to music

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Thank you everyone for all the support, fern, wander, wild coyote,bird dancer, bpcyclist, SP, and anyone else I'm missing, it means a lot to me


I ended up seeing my therapist and my doctor today so my wellbutrin was increased a bit. I'm hoping that it's helpful. My doctor said we'll take things slow and see how it goes, since I've had a rough few months of mania then depression. My therapist gave me some helpful articles and also a flyer for their crisis center in case I start doing really bad and if it's not business hours/days I have someone to talk to/someplace to go. I feel a little more hopeful.


I'm very thankful to have good friends here on PC and supportive people, it's extremely helpful especially since I've felt like I'm alone in the world lately.

Thank you guys

So glad you got in

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I had reported I'd been pushing myself physically. I continue to do so to a lesser degree. I've needed to devote more time/energy to more sedentary tasks.


I have been super busy with:


- trying to beat the deadline of 12/31. There are certain benefits I should use, verifications I need to obtain, all before 12/31, so I may utilize them again in 2020, if needed.


- I am in the midst of filing Discrimination and Violations of Rights Complaints against the Social Security Admin. Thus far, I have documented any/all interactions with this agency, have done the research, have drafted the (several)documents and letters and have sent a couple of the packets out via Certified Mail.. I have a couple more drafts to do,, which should be easier, as the main/major documents have been completed and will be utilized as "enclosures."


A couple of officials have received their legal Notices of Alleged Discrimination and Alleged Violations or Rights packets, confirmed via return receipts. I expect a response or two at any moment, which will likely prove quite interesting . I may or may not need an attorney at any moment. Lol! Time will tell. (I am currently restricted from sharing further / more specific info. at this time.)


- I continue to negotiate "The Divorce."


- I have been informed we are expecting between 25 - 35 guests on Christmas. Any prep needs to be done within the next 48 hours.


I only have so much energy and thinking/focusing "juice" available, as I am also dealing with the extra chronic fatigue and chronic pain at all times. I could use a getaway right about now. The added stress tends to "drain" me as well.


Exercise has taken a back seat for a week or so now. I hope things settle down and/or become much easier in the New Year!


It's critically important for me to make sure exercise is high priority. I will have my change(s) in "lifestyle" plan more fully outlined by 12/31 at the latest.


Many have asked what I've been up to. Just a few recent activities listed above.


Love to All!

Massive hug!!!! You have been dealing with so very very much

Please take care of yourself ... that’s an order

Let your mom just order trays like thanksgiving, eat and mingle fir a bit then just excuse yourself and go to your room.

[~Christina]

Rain was off and on today , less than forecasted Thankfully !

Busy day !

Hugs and cookies ~

[sadveiledbride]

Wishing everyone on this thread a Happy Holidays, and a late Happy Hanukkah.

[Miss Laura]

So after 3 hours wrapping presents I finally have finished. I can't wait to see everyone's faces when they open the gifts. I've addressed some gifts from the Elf and some from Santa. I've got some special gifts too. It is now Christmas Eve it's just after 10am here. It's the countdown to the big day woohoo.

Today all I have to do is a quick tidy up and make homemade soup.

Tonight I am off to my annual trip to Christmas Eve mass at my local church I'm not a church goer anymore I use to go religiously every week but I've lost my faith. But something about Christmas Eve mass is magical. I love singing carols etc. Then my family traditions start..... we have a takeout curry and we watch White Christmas on DVD. It's an old time classic.

On Christmas Day it's just 4 of us so we start the day off with a glass of prosecco and open presents followed by a bacon roll and more prosecco. Chill out then start cooking the meal and setting the table. Christmas music will be on from the minute we get up. Also I will be in a Christmas jumper all day lol.

As you can tell I'm massively happy and doing well.

I won't be on here tomorrow so in case I miss you all... Merry Christmas to you all and have a fantastic day whatever your doing.

[Wander]

Christmas Eve - 6.30 pm and I’m sitting on my hospital bed passing time. Yesterday I had a profound, life changing revelation while talking with a close friend I hadn’t seen for months. It is trauma related so I won’t share details, but the effect was to lift off years of trauma. It feels that I have finally reached a point where I have let go of the trauma, or more to the point, it has released me. This whole year has been leading to this point of release. What better Christmas present could I possibly have!
Don’t get me wrong I am still hurting emotionally, grieving- but I’m FREE!! For the first time in memory I’m free. Last Friday I broke down and lost control. I was almost locked up my distress was immense and high SI. Now I feel joy and freedom my heart is in a good place but my body is beating the toll. The Fibromyalgia is back in full force. I am understandably exhausted. So I have been resting mostly except for a swim at the beach with my niece. We had a blast.

Tomorrow I am starting the day with my Mum taking me to the beach for a 7am swim. A Christmas tradition for me. I need rest, but I feel the ocean will bring healing too. After that I will rest for two hours then go to my sisters with my parents and give presents. Now the trauma is behind me I feel I can enjoy my family. I am beyond relieved. After a few hours there with my sisters husbands family I expect I will be exhausted. I go back to the hospital on Boxing Day and will be discharged the following day.

I made it! I survived! I am finally free. Yes, I have rivers of tears to weep but many of joy as I begin my new life in the new decade that lays before us.

Happy Holidays to all. May you have peace, if even for a moment.

[scatterbrained04]

Enjoying my time away from work. Have been spending a lot of time reading and then have been trying to tackle one cleaning project per day. This morning I will read for awhile and then later I need to clean my living room (with my son's help) and wrap a couple gifts.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Wander

Christmas Eve - 6.30 pm and I’m sitting on my hospital bed passing time. Yesterday I had a profound, life changing revelation while talking with a close friend I hadn’t seen for months. It is trauma related so I won’t share details, but the effect was to lift off years of trauma. It feels that I have finally reached a point where I have let go of the trauma, or more to the point, it has released me. This whole year has been leading to this point of release. What better Christmas present could I possibly have!
Don’t get me wrong I am still hurting emotionally, grieving- but I’m FREE!! For the first time in memory I’m free. Last Friday I broke down and lost control. I was almost locked up my distress was immense and high SI. Now I feel joy and freedom my heart is in a good place but my body is beating the toll. The Fibromyalgia is back in full force. I am understandably exhausted. So I have been resting mostly except for a swim at the beach with my niece. We had a blast.

Tomorrow I am starting the day with my Mum taking me to the beach for a 7am swim. A Christmas tradition for me. I need rest, but I feel the ocean will bring healing too. After that I will rest for two hours then go to my sisters with my parents and give presents. Now the trauma is behind me I feel I can enjoy my family. I am beyond relieved. After a few hours there with my sisters husbands family I expect I will be exhausted. I go back to the hospital on Boxing Day and will be discharged the following day.

I made it! I survived! I am finally free. Yes, I have rivers of tears to weep but many of joy as I begin my new life in the new decade that lays before us.

Happy Holidays to all. May you have peace, if even for a moment.

When the dam breaks all you can do is allow it to flow. What a beautiful feeling to be free. Merry Christmas Wander!

Happy holidays, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to anyone who may not check in until after then.

Hubby and I went to get our tree yesterday. We never get our tree until the last minute. It's both of our traditions. Plus, they are usually cheaper last minute. Today will be an easy day. We have a plumber coming for a hopefully simple job this morning. Dinner will be quick and easy to prepare. Hubby and I open presents Christmas Eve evening according to the Czech tradition.

Our tree this year is a potted thuja instead of the more typical cut Christmas tree. We may plant it near our past parrots' grave site in my dad's woods. If not, it will go on our deck.

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Happy holidays, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to anyone who may not check in until after then.

Hubby and I went to get our tree yesterday. We never get our tree until the last minute. It's both of our traditions. Plus, they are usually cheaper last minute. Today will be an easy day. We have a plumber coming for a hopefully simple job this morning. Dinner will be quick and easy to prepare. Hubby and I open presents Christmas Eve evening according to the Czech tradition.

Our tree this year is a potted thuja instead of the more typical cut Christmas tree. We may plant it near our past parrots' grave site in my dad's woods. If not, it will go on our deck.

Thujas are pretty trees. Sounds like a lovely choice.

We just use a cheapo plastic Wal-Mart tree, but we prefer the real deal. We just don't do it anymore because it's expensive around here and my parents are getting older (they can’t really carry them anymore). But if we could, we would.

Have fun opening your gifts early! What do you do on Christmas, though, if you open the presents early?

I'm about to run out of my Ritalin, which sucks. I only realized on Saturday that I had 8 capsules left, and well, my pdoc is on Christmas vacation until the 30th -- or so his voicemail says. That means (1.) I have 4 pills left right now, and (2.) there is no guarantee his assistant will listen to my voicemail on Monday if a ton of other people leave them. Plus, the pharmacy ALWAYS has to order Ritalin because they never have any in stock. So, I guess I will be in withdrawal hell for quite a while. Sucks a lot.

I wish he had warned me about going on vacation, but he did not. I would have called earlier, but I don't like to request my Ritalin prescription early because the pharmacy told me they may lose it. (Is it even legal to say that??? But if they are warning me, I'm guessing it's happened before, so I don't want to tempt them.)

Anyways, mood is A-okay this morning. I am feeling less "off" and more close to my normal. I think the trip threw me off. (I was exhausted from sitting in the airport for 8+ hours thanks to JetBlue's B.S. delays to Boston. It's a really long story, but basically the plane broke down and they kept trying to fix it instead of giving up after 4 hours and getting another plane. After 8+ hrs of waiting, we demanded to be rebooked even though they gave us a hard time about it.)

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I'm about to run out of my Ritalin, which sucks. I only realized on Saturday that I had 8 capsules left, and well, my pdoc is on Christmas vacation until the 30th -- or so his voicemail says. That means (1.) I have 4 pills left right now, and (2.) there is no guarantee his assistant will listen to my voicemail on Monday if a ton of other people leave them. Plus, the pharmacy ALWAYS has to order Ritalin because they never have any in stock. So, I guess I will be in withdrawal hell for quite a while. Sucks a lot.

I wish he had warned me about going on vacation, but he did not. I would have called earlier, but I don't like to request my Ritalin prescription early because the pharmacy told me they may lose it. (Is it even legal to say that??? But if they are warning me, I'm guessing it's happened before, so I don't want to tempt them.)

Anyways, mood is A-okay this morning. I am feeling less "off" and more close to my normal. I think the trip threw me off. (I was exhausted from sitting in the airport for 8+ hours thanks to JetBlue's B.S. delays to Boston. It's a really long story, but basically the plane broke down and they kept trying to fix it instead of giving up after 4 hours and getting another plane. After 8+ hrs of waiting, we demanded to be rebooked even though they gave us a hard time about it.)

Oh, airport delays are just awful, but I'm glad you flew on a different plane!

I agree that your psychiatrist should have told you about his vacation, but perhaps you might still call his office to inform them of your Ritalin situation. Not calling definitely doesn't get you refills. Calling at least maybe does. Or could your pharmacist contact his office for refill requests? Maybe that may yield more action than the other way around. Perhaps consider both.

In Czech Republic, Christmas is still a family gathering day, but the presents are opened late on Christmas Eve. They celebrate the feast of Saint Nicolas for children earlier in December (around December 5/6). Saint Nick does give little presents then. On Christmas Eve, "Little Jesus" brings both the tree and the presents. That's usually more presents than Saint Nicholas gives earlier in the month. I don't have children, but my husband and I exchange on the Christmas Eve, following the Czech tradition. Then we join my family (typical American family) for a Christmas day celebration.

[Nammu]

I'm dreading today and tomorrow. I'm not sleeping well and just want to roll up into a ball and isolation. Hurt my back yesterday getting mum of the floor. She got on the floor to wrap an oversized present and couldn't get up. We had a hard time.

My daughter and her family are coming in about 40 minutes and it will be all whirlwind for two hours. Then tomorrow we drive to the nephew's house. I could use a dose of hypo right about now. Looking forward to Thursday.

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m having more self harm dreams again. Not sure why. Three in the last week. At least. I don’t like them. I got a break from them for a few months and now they’re back. Maybe I’m just stressed about Christmas.

Speaking of, I’ve now attempted fudge twice and it failed. I attempted ginger cookies and those failed, though at least they’re still edible (the fudge wasn’t). I’m leery about trying the other two recipes.

I’m really struggling today. I feel like I could burst into tears at at moment. I’m sure it’s just stress. I will be happy tomorrow when all I have to do is make it to my gma’s. Then it wil all be ok.

Hi wildchildflower. Don't feel guilty buying pre-made cookies or having no cookies at all. It's OK to skip things sometimes. If fudge is too expensive, it's OK to skip that this year, too. There are some nice grocery stores around that sell this stuff. Take it out of their packaging and put it in your own tins. It's OK. I've done it.

I'm sure your kids will also forgive having a cookie project put off for a bit.

[Nammu]

I bought cookie dough to bake this year. Just drop it on the pan and bake. The other cookies were all make, just peel them off and put on the cookie pan and bake. Much less cleaning up to do!