Bipolar check-in #43

Christina I am so sorry you are in pain. Yes, you should definitely get something you want as a treat! I think perhaps you could emotionally benefit from it, even if it's not something you need for survival.

So clip on her leash and just open door and go walking , she might drag a bit but she will soon start walking and you can both enjoy getting some fresh air.

Maybe your friend just wanted some down time and do a puzzle. My advice is don’t assume your being blown off when someone just wants to do something else.

I enjoy a variety of things online. It’s like if someone were to get mad because I skip a day coming to PC.... I can do as I please and I’d get angry if someone got mad at me for not doing something. Im a grown adult I do as I please .. So maybe step back and realize people enjoy doing different things.

Thanks I do get tired of mentioning my pain, it’s just s broken record but sometimes I need to vent.

I browse a lot of Amazon , Ebay etc just playing around. But I got something this time , it indeed feels good

Oh my God!

N3 is practicing the piano! :jawdrop: I'm in shock!

We spent most of the day packing books. We have a huge library for a private household. A pertinent decision regarding our housing is however long the legal negotiations take we can stay here. We will eventually have to move so we're packing (and sometimes purging) the things we can do without. We can do without most of our books until we're in a new place.

Study, rest, Study, rest, TV, guitar, rest, repeat. Such has been my boring weekend. I feel like hell but I’m sure you are all as fed up as me hearing it. My parents did drop by yesterday and we had a lovely casual chat about random things. I also went to the chemist and stocked up on two of my meds. Unfortunately I can’t get more Geodon as they limit how regularly you can fill the script. My main worry with coronavirus, outside the health of my loved ones, is running out of meds, going mad with withdrawal and having no medical help available in crisis. I’m not panicking, it is under control in Australia right now, I just want to be prepared just in case things get bad.

Might visit my sister and kids today if the dizziness passes so I can drive. Back to uni tomorrow. Not sure how that’s going to work out but I’ll give it my best shot. On the plus side I have no PTSD or Bipolar symptoms, and have recovered from my massive outburst/near attempt 8 days ago. Also the humidity has finally gone down after weeks of 80% or higher. It ended with three days of severe storms. I loved them, but lost power for hours, and severe damage was done to property and trees. Fine and sunny all week now.

Still not replying to posts. My brain hurts after thinking so I need to save what mental energy I have for study. Wish you all the best.

Sounds like a wonderful day

Woot woot !!!! Pigs are flying

Indeed they are!

Had a decent day. I did several loads of laundry including some blankets, and cleaned my bathroom. So feel good about that. My downstairs neighbor stopped by to tell me that it sounds like I am stomping around all the time. I think it's because they removed the carpet when they remodeled. I am going to get a rug to make it quieter for her. I am a small person and don't even wear shoes in my apartment, so I don't think I am being that loud. Maybe sometimes, but not all the time like she implied. Of course, after that happened I was making tea and something burned on my stove, and it took me a moment to turn off the smoke alarm. I swear I am usually a considerate neighbor! After that I just ordered pizza instead of messing with the stove in case it set off the smoke alarm twice in a day. I didn't have any coffee today, just tea, so hopefully will sleep well tonight.

It's another nice day. I want to get out for the walk. Today is also deeper house cleaning day. I also want to study some French.

I continue to leave my French studies to the last minute, which is a bad thing. However, despite that, I am getting frustrated by how slowly the instructor is going through the materials. We've been on the same chapter for two and a half classes. The "worksheet" he had us fill out is the same one he sent before last week's class, and part the week's before. I know this is a review for me, but I can't understand how any new students to French would be happy with the slow pace. It is boring (ennuyeuse) for me, but just getting my butt there regularly is part of the challenge (le défi). I'm hesitant to give this feedback because I COULD HAVE taken the higher level, but I didn't. I will keep my mouth shut. I was thinking of trying to push myself to study more and quicker (more chapters) than this level covers. I should stop being lazy (paresseuse) and avoiding it (l'éviter). There are no reasonably priced French study options offered in the summer. If I could get myself to do the work now and this summer, I could skip the next level entirely. Even the next level is just a review for me. Any questions I have I can either google or ask my husband, who studied nine years of French in his youth.

Feeling pissed off for no reason. I'm just angry at everything. I have no anger triggers, so I don't know why I'm so angry. Just feeling pissed.

Maybe I'll take a nap midday. I'm working from home anyways, so I can just work later in the day if need be. I just want the anger to subside -- or at least temporary relief (via the nap).

It's bill-paying day. Last- but not least- the rent. I have the check but the office was closed for lunch when I went by earlier. I'm also a bit tired. N3 has his piano lesson today.

Grrrr. Worried about 3 good friends...
and a lot of other things

My house is clean and I did some grocery shopping and saved $42 between store coupons, PricePlus savings, and in-store sale savings. I've been so much better about this, yet I still only buy stuff that I really need or can use. I also went to the pharmacy and got a flu shot. What the heck! I hadn't had one for a couple years. If by some odd chance I got a regular flu, everybody would be paranoid that I had the current coronavirus (Covid 19). I wouldn't want that. I will say that when out in public, I think a lot people avoid "coughers". I know it's natural. There's also been extra hand sanitizer around.

I've been good about avoiding sweets lately. Instead, I've craved salty crunchy stuff. I almost never buy chips or pretzels, and try to keep cracker supplies low or out. So, I've been eating nuts, mostly almonds. Too many of them! But today I treated myself to an oatmeal raisin cookie. The ones where I bought it are so good! I'd say that my favorite cookies of all time are oatmeal raisin and Linzer tart cookies. I have great recipes for both, but I'd rather just buy one cookie than have a whole batch staring at me.

I've been making a lot of soup. The other day I made a pot of homemade minestrone. We ate some, and I froze three containers worth. Today I made chicken vegetable orzo soup. I'll have enough to do the same. I know that it is a little irrational, but I'm in a depression era-like food/water storage mode.

Hope your downstairs neighbor chills out. Was the pizza good??

Do you think it could have something to do with stopping your Rexulti ?

That’s great savings ! I’ve made it a game to see how much I can save but buying things I really need.

Im making chili this week I make a big pot, it freezes well, sloppy Joe’s and meatballs too.

I’m sorry your French class is going to slow for you

I’m just losing track of time, I didn’t sleep last night which isn’t a big deal. Hopefully I can tonight.

Worried very much about a friend.

My husband has been very tired the last 2 or 3 days. No real complaints.. just tired. I’m on hyper aware alert even more so.

Germ free hugs to all

Yeah money will hit my account and everybody has there mitts on it. I love having Auto Pay for all but 2 bills but damn I’d like to just see money stay in my acct for 3-4 days. lol it’s a mental thing

Yeah. Before the money goes out, I look at my balance and think "Oh the things I could buy with that!" But then again I like sleeping indoors so.... I also need a cell phone to talk to friends, call n3 and surf the web when I can't be on my desktop. (Was a hand-me-down.)

Yeah, auto pay is good. Somethings about technology is fantastic, auto pay is one of them. Online banking is great, instant knowing how much is in the account.

I hope you can sleep tonight, Christina, and that your friend will be OK. I love all of those yummy things you mentioned. Chili with cornbread! Meatballs and Sloppy Joes! Yum! That reminds me that I should make the meatballs and chili soon and freeze some. I know they freeze well. My Czech husband won't eat Sloppy Joes. I grew up enjoying them. I have a great recipe of my grandmother's.

I will sleep, hopefully, but I stupidly forgot to take my medications until just now (9 pm). That means I won't fall asleep until very late. Usually I take them at 7 pm. My pill boxes downstairs are empty. I had to go upstairs to take them. I didn't remember them because I got sidetracked. I need to take a prn Ativan. My heart is racing.

Well I made it through the day again today! It takes 6 coffees and a bunch of sweet stuff to get me through the day these days because I'm so low, but I make it somehow.

It's my birthday and I'm celebrating by working from home and getting my freebie from Starbucks lol. It's going to be a pail sized mocha

I'm looking forward to hearing from everyone in my family, extended family and friends. I'm grateful to have those people in my life.

Happy Birthday, Scooter9! Enjoy the remainder of your day! That's nice you get to work from home today.