Bipolar check-in #43

Bluebicycle, I am glad you are doing well at the moment and hope it continues. I thought your plasma levels were high and that's why you didn't need to restart it right away? Did the doctor say when you could expect them to return to normal? That might be something to consider, in case the reason you feel okay is it hasn't been out of your system long. I do hope it goes well, I just worry a bit since you have gone through this process before and I think had psychosis without the meds.

Feeling sluggish today, but not very anxious, so I am reminding myself not drinking coffee will be worth it in the long run. It's tough to quit, but I keep telling myself I got through discontinuing psych meds with much worse reactions and am trying to think of it as stopping a drug that might be messing with me. I went to the gym with a friend this morning. It was supposed to be yoga, but the instructor had to cancel so it was some other aerobics class. It wasn't my favorite, but at least I got out there and did something active. I am trying really hard to put good habits in place and think of the long term. Sending compassion to everyone!

I’m glad you finally got a hold of that glorious small pill that can help help help and help get back to enjoying life.

I hope the day goes as easy as possible, moving is so freaking hard in general but to have to drive into a city? Yuck

Wrapped up in a blanket on a comfy couch at my mom's watching the science channel. I don't have cable tv so this is nice. Feeling renewed- rebooted- seeing my FWB is good for refreshing body and mind.

Just something interesting I noticed yesterday. I have become an increasingly nervous driver. I am extra cautious because I don’t trust people on the road. I drive on a highway every day to go to work, same highway I’ve been driving on for 14 years almost daily for some reason or another. I have never been nervous before. But now I am. I triple check my mirrors when changing lanes, and cringe anyway, waiting for the crash that would come if I somehow didn’t see another car. I don’t like people driving next to me or passing me on the highway either, in case they don’t see me and try to come over. I see myself getting into a crash no matter where I’m going. When A light turns green, I still double check both sides as if it were a stop sign because I don’t trust the other drivers to stop. I don’t like driving at night because of the glare. I just see and feel crashes everywhere. I’m waiting on edge for my car to be totaled and me or my family to possibly get injured or killed. I’m wondering if this is an effect from stopping haldol. I definitely wouldn’t consider it paranoia, but my psychosis usually manifests as paranoia. But then, I’ve never been psychotic outside of an episode and I haven’t had a true episode in two years. The one back in September was situational.

I guess the haldol could have been helping with anxiety, in a way, and now that I’m off of it I’m more anxious. But then it’s always good to be a cautious driver, right? So I guess there’s no problem right now. If it gets out of hand to the point where I am uncomfortable driving at all, then it’s a problem. But for now, it’s just something I’ve noticed.

@wildflowerchild25i can empathize with what you've written. I sometimes feel that something bad will happen to one or all of my kids. I sometimes think that someone's poisoned my food. I sometimes think some one is following me. Is this psychosis or just anxiety? I have had times when I'm suddenly scared of riding an escalator down. I got over it by finally stepping on the escalator's steps and holding the rail.

I am relaxing after work from a 5 1//2 hour shift. That is allot of hours for me. I have also had to work 8 hour shifts not including lunch hour. Boy, now that was very difficult to do. I have a couple 5 to 10 PM shifts coming up that should prove to be very tiring to me. I going to bed early nowadays. I have an antique pistol that had allot of dark grey patina, thusly showing its age of 165 years. I placed it into a storage sock. The sock smelled funny, like oil. The next day, I found all that patina stripped off of the pistol, Evidentially, it is penetrating oil. I almost cried. Why is there penetrating on a new storage sock? The pistol's value just went down a couple thousand dollars. I still feel like crying.

I have the next two days off. I need to clean my place up. Ever since starting my job, there has been a low grade depression that makes it difficult to get started, This reminds me of past jobs. There is no reason for me to feel this way. It is an easy job. Other than dealing with the occasional nasty customer, the day goes fairly smooth. I just do not understand this.

Tucson, sorry about the finish on your new gun, I would be upset too.

It seems as tho your doing fine at your job. I’m sure the 8 hour shifts are tough. Physically I could not handle that.

Just set timer for 15 mins and pick a room, see how much you can get done. It’s usually a lot more than a person thinks.. it’s a good mental trick , you know timer goes off you can have a seat and spoil your dog more

Tucson, I'm sorry that your gun got ruined. That feeling in your gut when you realize that you can't fix it. No wonder you were crying!

@~Christins @Moose72

Thank you for your good thoughts, and recommendatiins.

I'm doing well. It was sunshine and blue sky today but very cold so my dog and i didn't stay out for long. A little freaked out about the coronavirus and got groceries to stock-pile the kitchen. I'll top up my meds next. My naturally reclusive lifestyle works well in this situation. I won't go to Scrabble club until the all-clear is given. Enjoying things a little more and so happy it is March 1st and Spring is on the way!!!

Hugs to all who are struggling!

It is very good to be a cautious driver in our state because drivers here can be ridiculous (aggressive, not paying attention, some don't know or follow driving rules, etc.) If/when there is snow, it is even worse since many in trucks and SUVs think slowing down isn't necessary. Wrong!

Night driving is something I avoid to an extreme. Narrow back roads, deer, and people who keep their high beams on no matter what. Some cars' low beams are still too bright.

I already mentioned in the Physical thread that I am aware of my spring upswing starting. So are others. This is a little earlier than usual, not even quite in spring. We've had sunny days and I can smell the coming of spring in the air. It has been warmer than usual some days, though it has gotten chilly others. Yesterday we had one of those odd days with a few flurries falling yet the sun was shining. We've had basically no snow this winter. A little actually in late Fall, and none since. It is still possible to have a storm as late as late April. In fact, those historically, tend to be the biggest snows in NJ. Yesterday I saw a cherry tree with blossoms starting. Unbelievable! Last weekend the grackles showed up. I love the grackles, but in the past they didn't arrive until April. Grackle song is my favorite. It thrills me. They are also a most wonderfully playful bird. When they first arrive, I sing out "The grackles are back! The grackles are back!" We might see a couple, initially, but then whole flocks show up. They hang out in flocks. Then their songs are amplified in a grackle chorus akin to the one we hear from summer insects.

Throughout the winter, the red-bellied woodpecker shown in my avatar has been at the top of the pecking order at our bird feeder. With the grackles coming, that will stop. Grackles are known to work together like an army of fierce warriors.

When spring winds down, the grackles will be gone. Then our bird feeder is replaced with the one for hummingbirds. Sometimes sooner, since grackles are a hungry bunch. Sometimes a fully loaded feeder empties in literally a few days. The hummingbirds' arrival makes the grackle departure not so very sad.

You said it! People are in such a hurry. Even when I'm going the speed limit people pass me.

I think there can be times when hustling is OK, as long as it isn't illegal moves or aggressive. I only say that because my area is so densely populated that a bit of hustle can be helpful for flow of traffic. I absolutely believe in caution, but not over caution. Sometimes people have the right away and just sit there waiting for the people who don't have the right away to go. That itself can cause danger.

I'm talking about going around me on a double yellow around a curve. I know my car sucks but I don't want to be in the line of fire when they crash head on in apposing traffic.

That's obviously them driving recklessly and illegally. I'm sorry you (and most of us) have to deal with people driving recklessly.

I’m still doing well. I’m back on Lithium and hopefully there will be no blips.

It’s 62F and sunny here today. It’s really nice catching some sunshine.

I didn’t make it to the meet up Friday. I understand that I missed a good time. I have several opportunities to socialize next week so I’ll try again. The social anxiety seems to be getting worse. I’m in it for the long haul though.

Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho My "new" antique pistol is coming tomorrow! It set je back again on my credit card. No more spending. Pay off debt time. Since I have a job, I can begin to do this. This is like a xmas present, but earlier in the year. I am selling a couple pistols to help pay for this. I am spending too much time inside. Over half my day has gone by. This is not good. I want to practice meditation and mindfulness. I need help with this.

I was in a good mood earlier when i was messaging with my Scrabble mate. But then i asked her to get set up online with Scrabble so we could start playing together online and she said no she was too busy. Ever since then i have been in a foul mood. Thanks to Scrabble i can now insult myself in obscure words. We have the new word EEJIT which means idiot so i insult myself "stupid eejit." At least i'm creative...

I get the impression that people think i'm alone because i don't reach out. But i've reached out three times now recently and been rejected all three times. What does this tell me? Stop reaching out.

Feeling savage.

Middle Tennessee weather this year is absolutely looney toons!! More so than the last few.

The other day 18-20 lows then bounce up to 60’s , then rain in 45-60 something then a day of 60’s with glorious sun.

As long as I don’t hear the word “polar vortex “ I’m fine!

Hope you can soon get out , Lithium be no problem and have a good time

Well are you asking people on the weekends ? It could simply be they have too much going on with family and friends.

If you notice here on PC ?? everything slows way down from Friday night, might pick up a bit later on Sunday evening .... then the week it’s flying.

Anyway... just something to consider.

How’s your furry friend today ??

Been a nice quite day. Didn't get dressed at all. Outside it was beautiful for Minnesota March day, 40's and sunshine. Watched old loopy shows on the heroes ( Wonder Woman anyone? ) and icons channel then took a long shower and put on pjs. Looks like tonight is a book night. Had breakfast for supper all in all a good day.

It’s been some rough days..I’m having a very odd extreme pain around my ankle right more than left, but both I haven’t harmed either ankle. It certainly could be PsA advancing

My daughter got me a gift card for Target for my birthday. It’s over 1.5 hours away. So I have been just browsing loads of stuff online , but I will still go in person. She gave me specific orders I must buy something for myself and not use it for laundry soap, tinfoil or something for my husband.

Another friend gave me a gift card for Amazon, I have spent forever to decide on something. But I found something I really like and will enjoy !

I am just so not use to allowing myself to buy something I’d want vs what I need.

Hope everyone is enjoying there Sunday evening