Bipolar check-in #43

I don't think his assistants are/were licensed to practice medicine. As I mentioned a few days ago, I outright asked his current assistant if she was a medical professional and she completely dodged the question. Couple that with the fact she is not his "nurse" or "my doctoral colleague," but instead "my assistant," I am inclined to say they are not licensed for this.

As for today's appointment, he legit walked me out the door because he said he had "another patient waiting." I only had like 10 mins? So because someone else was late, my appt was cut short and I was walked out the door. And he spent most of the time typing random crap on his computer instead of talking to me. I don't know what he types, but he always does this. It's just that usually I have more time to talk, except the appt was cut short.

I don't think I actually need a plan with him, to be honest. I mean, what's the point? I am just going to get refused an appt again and his assistant will ignore me. But if I look for another pdoc, then I am waiting 6+ months for one because the waiting lists are long, and how will I deal with withdrawal for 6+ months? My GP certainly doesn't feel comfortable prescribing psych meds, as I mentioned before.

I think my therapist would be a better person to help me come up with a plan. She is at least responsive as of late. But I won't see her until next Friday in about 2 weeks. I could make an earlier appt, but I don't think she will have the space since I am not in a "crisis" and thus don't "qualify" for a crisis appt.

Thanks for your reply, WC.


I met with my pdoc today and he said something about my blood plasma being elevated and that's why I have akathisia? I'm not quite sure I understand.


He gave me an Rx for cogentin, which I have to pick up, but it's not ready yet. He said it should help with restlessness since I still have rexulti in my system.


At the end of the appt, he said that I don't have to be on an antipsychotic at this time while my blood plasma (?) returns to normal. He said come see him in 4 weeks and then think about a different antipsychotic like saphris, but he didn't give me the chance to discuss diagnoses with him.

I am to limit my computer usage.....
until I can get back to sanity.
bizi

I don't think his assistants are/were licensed to practice medicine. As I mentioned a few days ago, I outright asked his current assistant if she was a medical professional and she completely dodged the question. Couple that with the fact she is not his "nurse" or "my doctoral colleague," but instead "my assistant," I am inclined to say they are not licensed for this.


As for today's appointment, he legit walked me out the door because he said he had "another patient waiting." I only had like 10 mins? So because someone else was late, my appt was cut short and I was walked out the door. And he spent most of the time typing random crap on his computer instead of talking to me. I don't know what he types, but he always does this. It's just that usually I have more time to talk, except the appt was cut short.


I don't think I actually need a plan with him, to be honest. I mean, what's the point? I am just going to get refused an appt again and his assistant will ignore me. But if I look for another pdoc, then I am waiting 6+ months for one because the waiting lists are long, and how will I deal with withdrawal for 6+ months? My GP certainly doesn't feel comfortable prescribing psych meds, as I mentioned before.


I think my therapist would be a better person to help me come up with a plan. She is at least responsive as of late. But I won't see her until next Friday in about 2 weeks. I could make an earlier appt, but I don't think she will have the space since I am not in a "crisis" and thus don't "qualify" for a crisis appt.

Mind if I just vent? I was having a perfectly good morning, then the phone rang. It was a wrong number.
"Hello?"
"This is ****".
"I don't know any ****s".
"Then maybe you ought to take better care with the numbers you dial!"

WTF??!! It's bad enough when people don't apologize for it -- but to YELL at you for THEIR mistake?! What an *******!!!!!

Gotta breathe. My heart rate's still up. What is WRONG with people?!!!!

That is IT for picking up numbers not on my (quite short) list!!!!! Grrrrr.

Other than that, fine.

I woke up ruminating, feeling down and anxious. A bit frustrating to just start your day off like that, however I made myself breakfast, showered and got to work and was decently productive. So, I am glad I didn't let myself spiral too far. I am going to make some shrimp fajitas tonight and a kale salad. I will try to get some decent sleep, and tomorrow I am going to try out a new class at the gym with my friend. I am trying to make sure I go a few times a week to combat the anxiety and restlessness.

Hello all. Things are better on this front. Had a good day today n3-wise. We had dinner at Chili's and he paid. I'm feeling dozey- maybe the haldol I took or maybe its just 8:00 p.m. and I'm in bed. I spent part of the day stealing my own photos from a website online that I'd forgotten I put them. Woohoo! Makes me happy. Also saw my fwb- BIG GRIN.


ETA: I keep catastrophizing things. N3 went into the Amazon locker and something told me that he . Also seeing crashes happen out of thin air. So I'm good and bad today I guess now that I think about it. Ramped up yet horror movie hallucinations.

My desire to get my hair done is not going to happen. I can get it cut but not colored. DH says get it done but I can't justify the price. I need to at least cut it because I'm not taking care of it. It's to my butt. I'm cutting it to my chin I can't see spending that much on dye. We'll see. I've been so tired lately. My anxiety is high and I'm not telling anyone about the bugs. Hopefully they go away soon.

I’m glad you had a good day but worried tonight’s could be a problem. Maybe the prn again tonight ?

Fantastic finding your pics

Olia it’s a good quality it’s 10 or 11 a box , chin length hair 1 box is plenty. They have my colors! Now to convince DH to dye my hair or call my sister!

MM, I hope you're able to do what you want with your hair.

It's a drag to come on here just to whinge. I try not to. Lately I haven't been feeling so great, but ECT is coming up 6 March. That'll be relief.

This thread moves so fast it’s hard to keep up. It’s moving faster then I can hug. So many people are struggling. I’m sending out compassion, support and hugs for all.


I’m doing well and I’m grateful for it. I’m still working on my social anxiety so I have many events lined up. Hopefully, I won’t chicken out of any of them. I’m giving it one last try.


Warm regards to all.

Sorry I haven’t been responding to posts lately. I’ve been overwhelmed and having trouble concentrating. I do read, and I do care.


Saw my pdoc this morning. He believes my explosive rage on the weekend, and near attempt are PTSD related. We talked for some time. He made sure I was safe and seeing my T tomorrow. He wants me to email him if things slide even a little. I am doing well today so he is hoping I have properly calmed down now. He was incredibly supportive and understanding . He did not judge me for becoming violent against others and myself but instead made sure I was no longer close to that point. As I’ve calmed he doesn’t want to hospitalise me. I can take Seroquel prn if needed. He will be in contact with my T.


I’m happy with my pdoc. Today I feel much calmer and have more energy. With University classes beginning this afternoon I’m so thankful I feel better. I’m thinking of something I can do to thank(and apologise to) my partner. I put him through a lot and he remained supportive. Ideas welcome.