Bipolar check-in #44

You have a couple more days to see how you are doing if you are not read y to call in yet. I am sure your employer will rather you stay home if you are ill.
I hope you feel better asap.

I hate that orange blob, he makes my anxiety go up so much more. I turned the tv on and there he was lieing some more and attacking reporters. A reporters asked what he would say to scared Americans and the blob turned it around and blamed the reporter. Lieing more about drugs. I get my info from Rachel Maddow I trust her, she's a good reporter. I get facts from her. My meds are ready at the pharmacy but I don't want to go get them. I just have to drive up to the drive through.

I'm not surprised that he turned it around on the reporter. He's more than an orange blob- he's dangerous!

I'm just home from my mom's. She made me corn chowder and corn muffins! Dinner, here I come!

I called my liver doctor today. The lady on the phone and I decided that I could just talk to him on the phone. She is going to call me later to see what the doctor says about it.

It was warm this morning- 65 at 5:45- but now its cooling off again. Oh well. Its March, right?

N3 just turned up about an hour ago with Sharlene. Didn't tell me he was leaving. I thought I got lucky that he was cleaning. Guess that's just because she was coming over. I don't particularly want her over here. Trying to keep our apartment a little sanctuary.

I'm wearing my new oversized Mickey Mouse sweatshirt and some sweatpants. Feeling cozy!

Yes it is March, we got around 2 inches of snow!

I have been really overdoing certain projects. I think I spent at least two hours straight working really hard at a special meal for hubby. Chicken enchiladas. But the thing is that I made the enchilada sauce from scratch, the flour tortillas from scratch, and the chicken veggie filling. It was the first time I've ever made homemade flour tortillas. They came out great! It was all a lot of work. I also made Spanish rice. I cleaned up the kitchen twice. My back is hurting now and I'm finally worn out. I really do need a shower. I'll leave the hair washing to tomorrow, but I need to wash off the sweat.

Of course I accidentally cut myself during the course of the cooking project. Oddly, not with a knife. It was more a very hard poke with a fork. I can't believe how violent I am with that stuff that I would draw blood by poking myself with a fork.

Have had a headache most of the day—a dull one, but it’s there. I need to get up and get moving but I just don’t have much energy. I did manage to get to the store and luckily they had the things I needed to get me through for a while. I haven’t called in and quit yet, and the only reason I haven’t is my mom is asking me to hold off because of some rumors they may get shut down because they aren’t enforcing the social distancing rule. She’s angry with me for wanting to quit, but I’m sorry – my mental health should come before a paycheck. I understand I am a burden and a hardship for her, but I can live on water and sandwiches. I don’t care to sacrifice my luxuries of soda, which is the only real thing my mom buys typically for me. I buy groceries too, and have for a while. She uses my car for everything (and hasn’t paid for gas once – not that I’m complaining, she lets me live here. I’m just saying I contribute somewhere) and I do my best to help out I just hate that she acts as if my mental health isn’t important. I guess she doesn’t understand just how bad it is. I’m not sure I want to face how bad it is. Well anyway, I’m ok for now. I don’t go out anywhere and I have enough money to get me through until I get another job. I have car insurance and a phone bill that I pay, and I can sustain that for a few more months. I know I have to work... but I can’t work like this.
I am going to call in again today (I have leniency here, not only because of the coronavirus but due to how their point-system works.. I’m actually OK on points. Right now they aren’t automatically pointing anyone). But if nothing is done by tomorrow morning I’m calling and quitting my job. HR already told me she would accept my resignation if it came to it, so I just need to make a call I guess. We’ll see how it goes.
I think I’m going to go take a shower to see if it helps relax me. Being clean, even if it’s a hassle to do it, makes me feel a little better. I guess that’s a plus.

MarcusAurelius

Ooo that sounds good. I used to make those from scratch back,(decades back!) when I was a vegetarian. Back then shopping at co-ops was a lot cheaper. That's a good project to keep busy with in these trying times.

My governor has a briefing. It's so different from the orange blob. There's a committee of experts but they are all sitting down, spaced from one another and making factual statements. Very matter of fact and reassuring. They have an excellent ASL interpretation person too.

Divorce rates will be up.. not exactly surprising. And as for the rest of it...

I'm doing okay, trying to stay positive during this pandemic and not let depression and anxiety related to it consume me, which it was doing for awhile. I watched the movie Beverly Hills Chihuahua earlier, just for something cute and fun, which helped my mood a lot. The apartment care manager called to check in with me, since he's not here right now and is working from home for the next couple of weeks.

The peanut butter fudge I attempted to make yesterday was a total fail. I should have just stuck to my usual recipe which is great and easy but I didn't have powdered sugar on hand.

I've been super exhausted the past few days, maybe a week. 2 of my meds were changed 2 weeks ago so maybe that's why, hopefully it goes away cause it's honestly hard to function as tired as I am. I can't really read books right now like I normally love to do, because if I do my mind wanders and I fall asleep or zone out.

I've been exercising a lot indoors, crunches, squats, just stuff like that since I live on the 3rd floor so can't be jumping around or anything. Trying to lose weight, get in better shape.

I have a package coming tomorrow so I'm excited about that. It will have a new bedding set (it's bohemian style, really colorful) and also a replacement carafe for my coffeemaker, which I've needed for months. It will be so nice having good cups of coffee everyday again, that's definitely something to look forward to. I don't know why but drinking coffee, is almost like a pastime for me. It helps calm me down oddly enough.

Hope everyone is hanging in there during this crazy time

Hi!
Sorry you are having yet another rough day.
In my state, the governor has made unemployment benefits available to anyone not working due to the virus. Does your state offer the same?

Was just thinking if your state offers the same, you might get an income if you can wait a little while?
No short-term disability offered?

Yes, take y0ur mental health seriously. I do not think many family members realize how important it can be for us to stay as stable as possible. It would feel much better if we had more understanding and support for sure!

Take care!

It sounds like you are doing well with distracting yourself!

I love coffee, too! All day long!!!
Packages can be such fun!!!

How is your sister doing? Any better?

Have been thinking of you both.
Love and Prayers

Would you believe that it is currently 79 F (26 C) in my area? And I live between Philadelphia and New York City. And yet tomorrow's high will only be 52 F (11 C) and Sunday's high 46 (8 C). Hubby said he wished he was at the beach right now, but I am way too tired for that. Tomorrow will be too chilly to go. To my knowledge, my state's beaches are still open.

Climate chaos!

Thank you!

My sister is doing well, she isn't having any symptoms so far so that's good, thanks for asking

All day long is the only way to drink coffee! lol

TELEMEDICINE UPDATE:

Things have changed and there are very few rules for practitioners to follow now re: Medicaid and Medicare.

Practitioners may see patients on non-HIPPA compliant sites. Platforms like Skype, FB and others may now be used. Phone call sessions are also now allowed/covered.

If you have commercial insurance , please do check with your insurer.

Things are looking more hopeful for anyone needing ongoing care.

Love to all!

Yes I was surprised when I looked at the weather today, it's 77 degrees here in upstate NY and raining, and we're supposed to get snow on Monday

How did everyone celebrate the first day of Spring? We blew bubbles, colored our driveway, and rode bikes. Tonight we're sitting on our back deck and playing games. We're trying to enjoy the weather before the rain this weekend and before the pollen gets out of control.

Good post

I ate salmon

I love salmon! But I haven't eaten it in years because I'm allergic to it.

My liver doctor agreed to call me at my appointment time this coming Wednesday. Its still 8 a.m. but at least I don't have to get up and go anywhere. The wait to talk to someone at that office was pretty long- about 25 minutes so they must have a lot of people canceling or rescheduling or getting skype or phone appointments.

@Wild Coyote and @Blue_Bird I love coffee too but I haven't had any today. Just didn't get around to it. Normally, I have some when I get up. Its 7:00 now so I am going to skip it- especially since I took a long nap earlier.

N3 has a zip-up sweatshirt from our local children's hospital. It says "Hail to the Victors" but inserted in in handwriting is "Little" after the "the". It made me tear up! I know no one who has a child there. Stupid emotions!

Hi everyone. I had a bit of a rough night and day today because I haven't been feeling too well and worried given the current situation. I think it is all okay, that maybe I am just a little under the weather, plus my period, plus dehydrated. I felt myself starting to pass out when I got up too quickly and felt a bit short of breath at times when doing activities throughout the day. Hydrating seems to have helped. My supervisor was very understanding and said I could call her anytime I needed anything even over the weekend. I also had friends check in on me via text today. So that was all nice. I did call my doctor's office but haven't seen them in a while and don't know if they consider me a patient still. I never got a call back, but then I remembered I can sign up for a telemedicine appointment with my insurance company. Since I am feeling better I will wait because a lot of people need those appointments right now. I chatted with some friends last night over video chat. Technology does really help us stay connected. Sending compassion!

Well I need to rant for a bit...

My husband and I met a couple that actually lived in same area of Florida as we did, this is a small town so it was just so weird.. Anyway we met them about 4 years ago. We got together often and at first it was enjoyable. Chris is her name. She told me after we all had been doing dinner a month of so that people are weird around here because they just drop friends out of the blue. Well........ About 6-8 months later I could certainly see why people just walk away. We stopped going out for dinner. Her Husband Jimmy is a really nice guy.

Shes all about rescuing dumped or lost dogs and cats... She posts about the animal all over the area on Facebook. People will praise her because she will say well I cant afford to care for all these animals but I just cant leave them. Sounds wonderful right? here's the kicker, She literally drives all over town looking for strays because she finds them a new home but requires a re homing fee. She has also picked up some peoples pets, if they are super friendly and loves just getting into anyones car.

But people praise her and tell her she is a angel and a blessing to save all these poor animals.. Right now she has 2 2 week old puppies shes hand feeding around the clock and posting pics of them and saying how exhausting it is to feed around the clock... Seeking praise

Her Mom is 96 years old and is needing alot of care, she can still walk and feed herself she does have Dementia but still knows who everyone is for the most part. Chris posted on Facebook last week that her Mom just doesnt know what a " sacrifice" her and her husband are making by caring for her and not dumping her in a nursing home !!! ( WTF) I would give anything to still have my parents alive and care for them..

Today she complained on Facebook that she placed a pick up order at the grocery store and to have it delivered.. She literally lives 5 minutes from the store.. She was Bytching that they didnt give her all that she ordered and a few things they substituded . So she sent her Husband to the store to get a refund and pick correct things ( WTF ) Kroger is not accepting returns because they were purchased and taken home, They can not risk it having Corona virus on it. She is livid over this . My reply on Facebook was they cant take that risk and we should all be happy that they are open and have a decent amount of food on the shelves, sure some stuff is sold out. This is a scary time for everyone and we should be grateful that there is food to purchase.

Now back to her complaints about caring for her Mom, She is angry the state wont pay HER for taking care of her Mother, She whines all the time about being exhausted taking care of her mom, Yet she is taking in 2 week old puppies?? Priorities right?

I am just so disgusted by her actions and talking about her Mother this way but having more compassion for stray animals.

I just don't understand people. Do a good deed and go about life. Why shoout to world about it??? wanting to be praised for everything? No just stopt it !! don't be a shytty human being

Sorry guys I just had to vent

@~Christina that's just weird and messed up! I'd get away from them. She sounds wacky.