Bipolar check-in #44

I currently feel terrible.

snapped at someone who was really worried about the coronavirus and apparently really offended them

the awkward silence afterwards... it was too much

We can't be walking around all day going "OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!" That's not good for your mental health either.

Thank you, I'm doing alright, just very tired since I only got 5 hours of sleep last night, the situation was stressful but thankfully everyone is alright, I don't know about shooter though, he was taken to the hospital I guess in a stretcher since he was shot. Hopefully he'll be okay and gets the help he needs.

My sister is doing well, thanks for asking

I just took a shower, can't wait to go to sleep tonight lol

Hope you're doing well

I guess it depends on the person. They may have an underlying health condition that could easily put them at high risk for developing severe complications like pneumonia or bronchitis. (And they may have kept it a secret from you.) Or, they may regularly come into contact with someone who has preexisting health conditions and/or is older than 60.

I think the best thing to do is apologize and explain why you snapped (if you haven't done so already).

Some people are needlessly worrying, while others have valid concerns. However, in general, I think it's okay to say you do not want to talk about coronavirus. You do not have to give a reason if you don't want to. You can just politely say, "I'd rather talk about other things."

Sorry this happened, though. I know that sometimes certain things can get irritating for us and the last thing we want to do is talk about them. But if someone is seriously worrying or angry about it, you can still offer help. Just say something like, "how about we forget about the virus for now and go do [something] or [something else]."

Well I am happy that he is going to get things in place hopefully so work from home an option... Good grief I hear you about paperwork

I also am fine with being home and entertaining myself

OMG I am so sorry that has happened, I can imagine it being a scary situation ! Glad your were safe

There has been a huge increase of women and men calling abuse hotline here in TN...

Im glad things other wise are going well for you

being more sensitive is something I need to work on for sure

that, and not putting my issues (depression, anxiety, not wanting to be here) at the top of my list

with that said it is so important to keep yourself safe as well

Its bill-paying time on the first. I have to pay them on line or over the phone. Setting up on line accounts, calling about my water bill that I pay with my rent... I did make it to the credit union with N3 today. The lady at the drive-thru (which was very busy) was nice and patient and clear in her directions. She also was British. Is everyone else paying things on line or on the phone?

Mum is so old fashioned she pays most things by mail. Fortunately she lives in a small remote town with lots of other seniors so things change slowwwwllyy here. When I lived in Austin Texas I paid everything but the rent online.

I am seriously getting annoyed with my sister in law (husband’s sister). For background: her marriage has been rocky for at least three years, she’s wanted a divorce for a year but can’t find a job (due to a physical disability and an eight year gap in her resume), so she can’t afford to move out. DESPITE WANTING A DIVORCE, she agreed to do the foster to adopt program with her husband because he desperately wanted kids and they couldn’t have them naturally. So, great. I warned her that a foster child might be more challenging due to possible behavior issues, etc (only bc I have worked with foster children that often end up in my behavioral schools that I’ve worked at). She seemed fine with it.

They become licensed foster carers, and in early august a five year old girl was placed with them. Within TWO WEEKS, my SIL was texting me complaining about her behavior, calling her a”spoiled brat”, saying she can’t stand the disrespect (the little girl calls both her and her husband names, etc when she throws tantrums) and that her husband doesn’t back up her parenting style at all. All thing that, in my opinion, they should have worked out BEFORE they decided to have a child placed with them. She just keeps complaining and complaining. I’ve dealt with it since august. She keeps saying she wAnts a divorce but can’t move out and has no way to get income. So I encouraged her to apply for SSDI, her physical disability makes it impossible for her to stand/walk for more than five minutes so she might be able to get it, who knows? She won’t know unless she tries. I know it might take a couple of years with appeals and what not but it’s worth a shot. She shut me down, saying it’s not enough to live on. Yes, this is true, but If she lowered her expectations (ie: agreed to rent a room or some roommates instead of her own apartment) and applied for assistance, she may be able to squeak by. She’s having none of it, but expects me to listen to her moan and complain.

Recently she said she thinks she absolutely does not want to adopt the girl. She’s been cooped up with her for a little over a week due to the quarantine and has complained to me every damn day about it. Like I get it, it’s hard, but a six year old can’t understand why all of a sudden she can’t go anywhere or do anything. Besides, it sucks for everyone, not just her. She was basically fishing around to see if I’d let her live with me. She’s said as much before. She said “I’m going to just live in my car”. I think hoping that I would be like oh no, of course not, come here! But there’s no way I’m letting her live here. How could we support another adult with absolutely no income? Now all of a sudden I’m buying groceries for four, cooking for four, paying utilities for four, etc, plus because of her disability she won’t be able to get down the basement steps to do her laundry so now I’m gonna do that too? No way.

So today she wAs like “omg she won’t stop! She needs constant attention!” I was like “yeah most six year olds do”. She stopped talking. Then later she complained that her mom cut her off from complaining (lol) and said @like this is what I need right now”. I just told her it’s really hard on everyone and directed her to a couple of teletherapy sites I know of. Obviously she can’t keep leaning on us! I’m so fed up with it and apparently her mom is too.

Uuugh sorry for the long walk of text but I just HAD to get it out lol! I know I’m doing exactly what she’s doing (complaining) but I hope it’s not too bad.

Hope everyone is doing ok with this quarantine. I personally am trying not to let my anxiety get the best of me.

Let her be upset. Hopefully she'll improve, anyway. You did her a favor, even if she doesn't think so now. A lot of us have to learn that way.

I think it's important that we speak up when there is poor customer service or injustice. I'm actually a bit of a stickler about that. [Hubby would say more than "a bit", but then again he's got reasonably high standards, too.]

Sorry to hear about the SIL situation. That sounds frustrating.

I, too, am surprised that she wanted a kid despite wanting a divorce. Perhaps she thought that could save her marriage? I know I'm going out on a limb here, but maybe she thought the tensions in her marriage were due to them not being able to have kids? I know that for a lot of couples, the idea of having kids can really make or break a relationship. Once one adult wants a kid and the other one does not, then all of a sudden, both adults start bickering over little things here and there. Same with couples who can't have kids for whatever reason. Then it just grows and grows and grows until it's time for divorce.

I don't know why she was complaining about SSDI. Yes, I can imagine it could be difficult to live on an income like that, but -- and someone here can correct me if I'm wrong -- you can work on SSDI as long as you don't make above a certain amount. So, she could be a receptionist (for example) because she is sitting and not walking/standing (since her legs seem to be the issue). I don't think an 8 year gap in the resume is going to hurt her chances of being a receptionist at most places. Or, she can work in a call center or work as a support agent for some company (e.g., insurance company). Heck, right off the top of my head, I can think of landscaping companies who are large and need a staff member to take care of calls. If she lives in NJ, then most landscaping companies are open in the winter because of plowing. All you do is sit all day until it's time to go home.

I don't blame you for not wanting her to live with you. She should accept that she made a poor decision about the kid; she needs to face the music.

[QUOTE=Moose72;6801665]Its bill-paying time on the first. I have to pay them on line or over the phone. Setting up on line accounts, calling about my water bill that I pay with my rent... I did make it to the credit union with N3 today. The lady at the drive-thru (which was very busy) was nice and patient and clear in her directions. She also was British. Is everyone else paying things on line or on the phone?[/QUOTE

Im glad the bank issue was taken care of

Hope you can set up online acct to pay rent and water. My Daughter pays all her stuff online, her rent she does by paypal as shes lives in a duplex with private owners..

Has your son filled out everything to get his check direct deposit ? It is sooo much easier, Im actually surprised McDonalds has not had him set it up earlier, Most every business requires direct deposit now.

Oh Boy I hate that you have to deal with this.. If she wants a divorce why in the world did she sign up to be a foster? How to complicate things 101

I think you are right to just put a halt to listening to her complain.. Yes she can apply for SSDI and see what happens.. Taking her in would have you stark raving crazy quickly No No No ..

Stand firm Has your job gotten easier yet?

Another day of my Gov deciding to wait an see if we need a full lock down. There are stupid teens and young adults not following Social distancing ! that makes me angry

Right now there are no reports of anyone in my county. Most people here that are in the medical field all drive 1.5 hours North to the town I go to see specialists at, they had at least 4 cases as of yesterday SO someone is eventually going to bring it here

We are still okay with food and supplies so we are just staying home

We are under a Tornado watch until 10 pm... Like I need more stress My internet was coming and going all morning due to the first wave of storms and now it will be going out tonight too.

Virus free Hugs and Love to everyone

The Fibromyalgia only seems to be worsening. The Ritalin my pdoc prescribed doesn’t work all the time for some reason so it’s a bit hit and miss. When it works I can get some study done but due to extreme exhaustion I can’t exercise. Even the basic hip exercises I do each day wear me out. So I rest, watch non news related TV/internet, talk and think positively, and meditate a lot.

Due to my cognitive issues I made a stupid mistake on my first assignment and barely passed. I can’t believe I used a non academic source on an assignment that requires them. I was expecting a HD. I’ve dropped out of my journalism unit for my sanity (can’t immerse myself in news right now), and to ease my load. This is disappointing. I will stick with one unit to hold onto my degree. Hopefully by next semester my health will be better.

The PTSD has been popping up. I think the pandemic is making me feel out of control thus unsafe. I see my T today and will talk about that. I am also in despair over my health. I just woke from a dream that told me not to harm myself as I will cause so much pain to others. Weird as I hadn’t had SI for a few days. As much as I am desperate for relief I refuse to give up on life. Living alone and socially distancing myself gives me space to rest.

I am seeing my parents today. They often take my sisters kids to school, or babysit so I am less likely than them to infect my parents. Luckily my parents (70 years old) are relatively healthy. My sister is a head science teacher at a private high school so she is run off her feet as the school plans for online learning. Schools will close soon but I don’t know how my sister is going to look after and help educate her four children while she works from home. Her youngest is four. Her husband has autism so is great with some things but finds looking after all his children at the same time overwhelming. The business he works for shut down so they have that financial blow too. I’m worried for her.

I’m worried for so many people. People like all of you. Those with mental health issues are particularly vulnerable now. Even though I don’t post much you are all often in my thoughts, and meditations. Thanks for those on here who are responding to posts with support and encouragement. If I can get my brain to work I will try to be more active. For me, and to do what little I can.

yes he got a piece of paper from the credit union filled out and gave it to his boss but his boss must've lost it or who knows but he does not have direct deposit. He's going to have to get another one from the credit union and try again I guess.

Oh Wander I am sorry things are just tough right now. I cant remember if your on gabapentin or maybe Lyrica for your Fibro? I know for lots of people one of those can help some. It really was a bust for me. I think what has helped me the most is a muscle relaxer as you know when Fibro is bad we all tense up ....

Silly question but are your shoulder up near your ears? That is one thing I do when my pain is bad and usually I am all scrunched up.

Yes this pandemic is just tossing everyones life up in the air. Its good that your dropped a class, takes some of the pressure off..

Im glad you are seeing your parents too. I hope that is a great big help and soothing.

Be kind to yourself

I hope everybody is having a good day, morning, afternoon, or evening!


I just talked with N3. He's at Sharlene's again! I said I'd get him at 7:30 so he'd better not change the plan or I'm going to be quite angry.

My eyes feel better after using the antihistamine drops. I'm getting a little tired of this music. Maybe I should find something else to listen to.

I finished the book I was reading, so its on to the next.

My aunt sent me a birthday card with a picture of me on my 3rd birthday. I wish I could share it with you!

I'm making wide egg noodles for dinner. It will have butter and cheese. Comfort food!

I’m doing well today. I’ve set goals to see me through this. I want to be in a better position coming out of this then going in. I feel positive about that.

I’m having trouble keeping my brother at home. He’s got COPD, diabetes and heart issues. I’ve given up and just hope he doesn’t catch it or give it to me and mom.

I hope everyone is well and enjoying sheltering in place. It’s been really nice for me.

I'm waiting in the car for N3. When I get home Im getting ready for bed then getting in!

I'm weathering the lockdown well. I'm naturally a homebody so it doesn't really bother me. My neighbor has been bringing her puppy out into the hallway to play with my dog and the puppy is a delight, SO EXCITED, just wriggling and darting everywhere, just overjoyed to be alive! He pesters my dog but she's very good about it. We play fetch with them. The puppy fetched a couple times! I didn't even think he could get his little mouth around the ball! We were thrilled!

I did a lot of cleaning and a home-improvement project that's been outstanding for six months. I feel like my Spring mania is trying to come on but just can't quite make it. Up before dawn a couple days. Yesterday it snowed so my mood took a dive. I was exhausted from all the work anyways. Three big bags of donations organized. Am finally getting rid of all the clothes that don't fit.

Some negative stuff happened in the wake of my joy at my Scrabble club meeting in cyberspace, to do with organizers not using the club Facebook account but posting from their own personal accounts. I'm not Facebook friends with them so i didn't get the communications and basically got cut out of the whole group chat for the whole evening, about 1000 posts. So i'm feeling very offended and in general very discouraged about the mediocrity of the computer skills of those involved. I don't even know if i'll play tomorrow. It was very upsetting to find out i'd been left out of things. Adjustments have been made so it won't happen again but i have hard feelings.

Glad today is better day for you Positive attitude really can help us weather this storm.

I wish your brother would quit going out..

There was a possible Tornado about 18-20 miles above us.. We got lucky again. We have more storms coming but hopefully they wont be as bad. My 60-70 fur baby at the first sound of Thunder is in my lap lol

My anxiety is just through the roof *breath*

Ugh, I'm sorry you have to deal with tornado weather on top of everything.