Bipolar check-in #44

I doubt they're going to come get you if they didn't see you give them the middle finger in the first place. Even if they did manage to see it, I still doubt they'll come after you.

Sure, some neighbors are nasty people, but they prefer not to get violent with one another, especially over minuscule things like seeing the middle finger. It's not like you got violent with them and started a physical fight anyways. Plus, neighbors in general don't want to give people an excuse to damage their house or property. They know that getting violent with someone could mean serious repercussions, especially since they are very vulnerable with their house being right next to yours.

Just my opinion, though.

I agree with you. That's how it is where I live. We leave each other alone, pretty much.

Yes fling other things that yourself down the stairs next time LOL .. You know I love you but I just had to respond to that

I am also grateful to have a place as always to find kindness and support..

Thank you so much for making that Thread

Well my son’s school is closed for two weeks at least starting Monday. My school hadn’t planned to be closed but the county health department just announced that ALL schools in the county will be closed for thirty days. My school is in that county. I’m concerned because my school only has an ad hoc plan for remote learning as of right now. They didn’t have enough time to plan. I will work from home, calling students and explaining lessons over the phone. But the details aren’t clear. I have received absolutely NO information on how my son is supposed to be doing his remote learning. And I hope he doesn’t need help, because I can’t help him AND work at the same time.

Grocery store was wiped out. I got what I could. Pasta, rice, canned veggies. Meat and bread was gone. No paper products. No bottled water. Not sure why people are hoarding bottled water, I don’t think the water supply will be affected. I don’t like my city water but I can drink it if I need to.

At least I’ll still get paid. That worried me.

Watching a video about King's College Choir. 1981 recording. I was 9 then.

Maybe I'll make a grilled cheese. I'm hungry. Maybe it will go away. I already had cheerios.

Im so glad your pay will continue, that is a huge relief

Im sure your school is working hard to find a path to use to manage while things are just so up in the air.

Im glad you were able to grab some food basics

Wow

My husband was feeling up to putting in new baseboard we had bought long ago.. I am glad he was feeling better today Hes really not felt well for the last month

My dogs have kept me very busy today, No rain and they have wanted taken out to pasture over and over and over, they chase each other an just enjoy not getting wet to go potty, They are now passed out in the beds, My husband is half asleep in his recliner too and ....... they ALL snore :rolf:

Happy germ free hugs to all

I just want to share some good stuff.. After the tornados in Nashville this woman found a lost dog.. She has been walking that dog around for days in neighborhoods trying to find the owner... Well it worked!!! they were reunited today

@~Christina That's so cool about the reunited man and beast!

I wonder how my job is going to handle coronavirus. I have a few thousand saved up plus I get social security so if they shut down it’s not a big deal for me personally. Honestly I’d prefer if they do but I know a lot of my coworkers rely on them being open. My bipolar symptoms seem to be improving in general though but I still have not done my taxes and I don’t know how I’m going to get them done so it’s a bit of a stressor.

I LOVE the good stuff! That is one good-hearted outstanding woman! Not many people would walk the dog around the neighborhoods and for days!
More neighbors, neighborhoods and dogs would benefit from more people like her!

I'm glad Steve felt up to being a bit more active. I am sure you were both grateful, too. I've been very concerned for him. I hope he continues to feel better and better. Love ya both!

I think this distance learning will be a major learning experience for many, but I think it has the positive of setting the stage for it in the future.

I can't imagine why water supplies should be affected either, but confess that hubby and I have a good supply of bottled and cases of flavored seltzer.

I remember that you and I don't live that far from each other, so imagine we are experiencing a lot of similar things. As for bread, I happen to have a lot of frozen bread and rolls (and muffins) from even before. I have lots of flour and did buy a good amount of yeast yesterday. I noticed some others were buying yeast. I have a large amount of flour and meals, of various kinds.

Thanks !!! Yes he certainly has had me very worried, So yesterday him making a racket with a nail gun was great!

I agree we need more people being kind There are still food trucks pulling into neighborhood to feed people who have lost so much from the tornadoes..

I went to my usual grocery store this morning. Got there at 7:15. It was swarmed with people even then! People were stocking amidst all this. I got what I wanted to and could afford, but the lady in front of me in line got a LOT. There were no empty aisles except the toilet paper aisle. Some shelves had great dents out of them, though. To check out, you had to either go to one of the two self-serves, or if you had more than that number of items, they had everybody in one main line that branched off to the individual check-out lanes. They had the lights to the lanes off so people would have to get in the big line. I got what I could get, but I know its not going to be enough. Could've gotten a bit more, but I filled my cart with four gallons of distilled water for my CPAP. Only milk that was left were gallons of skim. I bought them anyway. All the NPR quiz this afternoon was on the corona virus. I guess that's the week's news. Now that I typed all that, I'll say that I'm getting tired of hearing about the virus every second of every day. I dropped N3 off at his gf's. They were going to go to the local arcade but I firmly suggested they not. That they stay off the buses too. We'll see if he listens to me. (Probably not! )

I’m too embarrassed to talk about how last night went, so I won’t. We’ll leave it at that. In other news I randomly have dry mouth and have lost some sense of taste. I don’t think it’s med related because I’ve not had any switch ups or increases/decreases or anything.. I dunno, it just makes this dull day even more dull. I don’t “feel right” today. I am not comfortable. I’m not comfortable at all. I don’t know how to express it, but it’s like everything is devoid of pleasure and life. I live in a state of depression, but this is different from what I’m used to. I don’t like it one bit. I feel panicky, scared, uneasy… anxious. I’ve got to get a hold of myself. I feel I’m spiraling out of control emotionally and I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s not “resolving itself”. The benzo didn’t help, by the way. They just don’t seem to have any effect.

I don’t mean to be a Negative Nancy, Debbie Downer or Sally Sensitive over here. But this just sucks. lol

Have you tried any new coping skills ? Can you reach out to your Pdoc first thing Monday morning? Do you think you can keep yourself safe? Maybe calling a hotline would help you , Ground you ?

Hi, guys. Been awhile. Great big setback here, unfortunately. Just sort of barely making it, to be honest. Just out of my mind with psychosis and it won't stop. Yesterday, I was fully convinced at one point that a bunch of Navy Seals were rappelling down my building to kick in my windows and get me. No idea why that would be. Was never in the military or a secret agent. My sick brain.

Microphones in the walls, infrared cameras next door, people in my phone and stealing my email. On and on. It's just exhausting. Wearing me out.

Was hoping that the little bounce I got from adding Depakote awhile back would last, but it has not. I guess I'm heading for Clozaril. It's fine. I just can't do this anymore. It's too hard for me. Not giving up, just being honest.

Hopelessly behind on all threads. I really hope everyone struggling mentally and physically finds strength and peace today. I've missed you all. Many, many thanks to my friends who were so kind to check on me while I was AWOL. So greatly appreciated!!!

bpcyclist, I have been thinking about you. I'm glad you checked in. I'm sorry to read you're still struggling so much with the psychosis. If it takes clozaril, I would go for it.

Don't worry about catching up. Do what you can do. We're here for you.

Hey @~Christina! Thanks for reaching out. Let me tackle your questions one by one.

Have you tried any new coping skills?
I’ve been trying some new things for me as well as old – I’ve tried journaling, coloring, breathing techniques, meditation/prayer, reading, and a few other similar ones. They do help some, but the help doesn’t last too long it seems.

Can you reach out to your Pdoc first thing Monday morning?
I probably could get ahold of him this coming week sometime, but I really don’t know what help it would be. I just don’t think there is much more medicine can do for me. (I am taking my meds as prescribed and don’t plan to stop – I’m just not seeing results in terms of anxiety). I guess I’m being pessimistic in some senses – we’ve tried Klonopin, and it doesn’t work. Maybe another medicine would help? I’ve heard of a few that aren’t benzos that seem to be effective. Like BuSpar? I might make a plan to give a call just to get some advice if nothing else. I’m working with my therapist too.

Do you think you can keep yourself safe?
Yeah, I’m not feeling suicidal or have any want to hurt myself. Plus I live with family and so I have that added layer of protection in case something did happen and I began to feel that way. I’m safe – uncomfortable, but safe.

Maybe calling a hotline would help you , Ground you ?
At this time I don’t think it’s necessary, and it would cause more anxiety for me I think. I fear they will misinterpret what I say and call police to evaluate me or something. I just don’t like the thought of hotlines. I’ve used hotlines once or twice (not suicide hotlines, per se. It was similar but it was a coping with negative emotions hotline. Same process, really) and because of my fear they really didn’t offer much help (because they didn’t have a lot to go on). In the end, right now I don’t think I need that.

The important thing to note is that I am safe, just struggling. We all have been there, I guess. I just need to weather it better I think. If you have any other coping skills you want to contribute, please let me know! I’m open to suggestions.

I am so happy that you are not alone. There is a good chance that the medication your on simply isnt working. I think it would be wise to call first thing Monday morning, I took Buspar and it did nothing, My daughter is a huge fan it really helps her anxiety..

Sometimes exercise , cardio especially seems like a good way to blow off steam whether you are up or down.. Just a thought

My other other advice is sometimes we are just trying to swim upsteam in a raging river and its best to just stop and float, Just say outloud something like OK I am feeling absolutly terrible and I dont know when it will change but for today I am going to float

I had needed to float so many times. It has always helped me to different degrees but hey its something..

Keep posting if it helps

I'm doing alright. Anxious but other than that mood is good, I have energy and am motivated. Did some laundry then baked cookies.

My sister is stopping by tomorrow with some food, and she also ordered a replacement carafe for my coffeemaker. So I'm happy about that.

I'm getting a little obsessive about cleaning, this has nothing to do with the virus though, I just get that way sometimes. My therapist has mentioned OCD in the past, so maybe I have some tendencies of that. I get extremely anxious/panicky if something doesn't look flawlessly clean. It's not even about germs, I just want everything to look perfect. Also, my mom had OCD.

I haven't gone anywhere today, I might go downstairs later and check the mail but that's about it. I think tomorrow I'll spend some time sitting outside in the sun.

Not sure what I'll do with the rest of the day, probably read and journal. Maybe watch a movie.

I think my cat has cabin fever. He's running about hiding behind things, swishing his tail and then jumping out. He's also running around with his hair thingy. Playing with it like he was a kitten. He's around 14 years old! Wish I had some of his energy. I'm just channel surfing and web surfing. The TP mimes are pretty funny.

And I had to wake my Mutts up to take them to the pasture, they havent gone potty in like 13 hours

I hope the coming days bring relief to those here still struggling in some way. Virtual hugs to everyone.

My hypomania/mania seems to have calmed since my Seroquel XR increase. Taking the extra in the morning actually feels good. Over time, that may change. My appetite has increased a bit, which isn't ideal.

I’m sorry you’ve been having such a tough time. I was worried about you. I thought maybe you’d gone IP despite your horrible experiences. I sincerely hope Clozaril helps if you go on it. It’s been a game changer for my brother. Thanks for checking in. Sending healing vibes.

I am still appearing ''normal''
for Papa Bear's sake

The adapted child..
has been well taught

respect to all