Bipolar check-in #44

My school has shut down to students, but we are still required to report to the building. We started our disorganized remote learning program today, which involved calling each student multiple times in the course of four hours to go over their assignments (from their textbooks that they brought home on Friday and packets that haven’t even reached them yet as they were only mailed out yesterday). One problem is we only have 20 lines going out of the building, so only 20 of us (out of a staff of 50-60) can be on the phone at any given time. We are supposed to stick to a strict schedule, but there’s no way when there’s only 20 lines. Besides the fact that there’s only maybe 30 actual phones in the whole building. We have to rotate. So in reality, students are only getting10-15 mins of instruction time for each subject. I guess that’s true of ALL schools right now though.

Many of my coworkers are upset that we are still being required to come in. I’ve heard through the grapevine that some are calling the governor’s office to report the situation, as he has ordered all non essential businesses to close. We are considered non essential, being that we absolutely could be doing work from home if the hospital (my school is affiliated with a behavioral health hospital) would allow it. I guess they’re not seeing the need for it as the hospital itself is obviously an essential business. Anyway, it’s only a matter of time before our governor orders a total quarantine like Italy, based on the fact that cases are at least doubling, if not tripling every day. So...

Anyway I have a LOT of anxiety about this situation and I’m sure all of you do too, this has been my dumping ground but I realize not everyone wants to hear about it so after this I will not be talking about it any more. Hope everyone stays safe!

My daughter sent pictures of her local Walmart, the grocery section is bare! I keep wondering how much food is gonna be thrown away from this panic buying people are doing? Unless they're also panic buying freezers how are they going to keep it all?

The ECT coordinator contacted me today saying they're trying to get permission to treat me next week or the week after. I kinda wonder if my pdoc (whom I saw on Monday) called my ECT doc and told her how bad things are going in my head. She mentioned calling and though I didn't ask her to go ahead with the call neither did I ask her not to. So I may have ECT sooner than I was expecting. Even my T (whom I saw today) thinks it's absurd that ECT is considered an elective procedure, i.e. non-essential.

My school has shut down to students, but we are still required to report to the building. We started our disorganized remote learning program today, which involved calling each student multiple times in the course of four hours to go over their assignments (from their textbooks that they brought home on Friday and packets that haven’t even reached them yet as they were only mailed out yesterday). One problem is we only have 20 lines going out of the building, so only 20 of us (out of a staff of 50-60) can be on the phone at any given time. We are supposed to stick to a strict schedule, but there’s no way when there’s only 20 lines. Besides the fact that there’s only maybe 30 actual phones in the whole building. We have to rotate. So in reality, students are only getting10-15 mins of instruction time for each subject. I guess that’s true of ALL schools right now though.

Many of my coworkers are upset that we are still being required to come in. I’ve heard through the grapevine that some are calling the governor’s office to report the situation, as he has ordered all non essential businesses to close. We are considered non essential, being that we absolutely could be doing work from home if the hospital (my school is affiliated with a behavioral health hospital) would allow it. I guess they’re not seeing the need for it as the hospital itself is obviously an essential business. Anyway, it’s only a matter of time before our governor orders a total quarantine like Italy, based on the fact that cases are at least doubling, if not tripling every day. So...

Anyway I have a LOT of anxiety about this situation and I’m sure all of you do too, this has been my dumping ground but I realize not everyone wants to hear about it so after this I will not be talking about it any more. Hope everyone stays safe!

Do the majority of you not have cell plans with unlimited minutes? Situations like these require people to color outside of the lines to generate what is right and valuable.

The thing is our school is affiliated with a psychiatric hospital, and all the students are special ed. Thus, we have to follow STRICT confidentiality rules. Personal cell phones can be recorded, hacked, etc and as such are not secure. We can’t do online learning because many of our students are living in group homes without access to a computer, or just don’t have a working computer or internet access at home. So it is very complicated. I don’t think we will be in the building much longer though. But in any event, I just found out that there are two positive cases in my town, and more tests pending. I have decided to call out rather than bring my son to my 60 year old, high blood pressure mom’s house and risk exposing her.

I started the corned beef this morning. I forgot to make it yesterday. So we have it a day late! It makes a lot of meals and though I bought the smallest brisket they had it's going to make several meals. I'll freeze 1/3 of it immediately and use 1/3 to make home made hash. So this is one meal I feel comfortable about spreading out. Next week when we get some room in the freezer I'm gonna make a pot of vegetables soup, that freezes pretty well too.

YumYum! Send some by, please -- I LOVE corned beef hash! -- Couple of over medium eggs, and I'm a VERY happy camper!

Which, actually I AM a pretty happy camper in the midst of this situation. I love my room, and am getting to all kinds of things I normally don't have time for. And I'm making a point of having fun.

Here is a funny thing I hadn't seen in awhile...


From Wallace and Gromit's Nick Park, an earlier project with animals being interviewed. Funny stuff.

I don’t know why but I’m in a really good mood today! I was headed out the door to the doctor’s office and my daughter called me in tears. No contest, I calmed down my daughter. Karma responded for missing that appointment. Nose bleed as I was driving to the store. My car and clothes looked like a crime scene. Lol!

Later I bought groceries, checked out and my card would not work! Walked out empty handed after all that trouble. I verified that I had money in the bank. A fluke I guess.

M is not coming for spring break at my request. I don’t know when I’ll see her. It could be weeks or months. I requested regular FaceTime which she hates.

And now this Vraylar complication.

Still I feel positive and think we will get through this. I wish everyone peace and love.

I use samples of Vraylar since I can’t afford it or get patient assistance. My NP called today and said they are pulling sales reps out of the field so samples are drying up. She has put aside some of what remains for me and I will pick it up tomorrow. For now, I’ll take a Vraylar every other day. A little concerned since that’s the med keeping me stable. I could hear the concern in her voice.

Hey everyone. I have been struggling mentally with everything going on, as has the rest of the world, I know it's not unique to me. I am feeling a bit trapped in my studio apartment. I am now teleworking from home (which makes me very lucky to still be able to work). Also, hormones have been naturally making it worse, but I should be feeling better in that regard soon. Mostly, I am concerned about my loved ones and everyone in the world who is affected. Also, I sort of broke my kitchen faucet yesterday and had a mini meltdown over that. Not the end of the world, but it's how I wash dishes and was going to be how I hooked up my portable washing machine I got so I could avoid the laundromat. I need to see if I can find a way to fix it myself I guess. My leasing office is closed indefinitely and you can still put in for emergency maintenance, but I feel bad making someone come to my apartment right now and it's not exactly an emergency. At least I have a bathroom sink still.

In good news my therapist is offering me weekly sessions now (we usually do biweekly) over teletherapy. I feel quite fortunate in that regard because I could use the support. I am also glad that she will be able to continue working. I think a lot of medical and mental health professionals are going this route. Sending everyone compassion.

Hey everyone. I have been struggling mentally with everything going on, as has the rest of the world, I know it's not unique to me. I am feeling a bit trapped in my studio apartment. I am now teleworking from home (which makes me very lucky to still be able to work). Also, hormones have been naturally making it worse, but I should be feeling better in that regard soon. Mostly, I am concerned about my loved ones and everyone in the world who is affected. Also, I sort of broke my kitchen faucet yesterday and had a mini meltdown over that. Not the end of the world, but it's how I wash dishes and was going to be how I hooked up my portable washing machine I got so I could avoid the laundromat. I need to see if I can find a way to fix it myself I guess. My leasing office is closed indefinitely and you can still put in for emergency maintenance, but I feel bad making someone come to my apartment right now and it's not exactly an emergency. At least I have a bathroom sink still.

In good news my therapist is offering me weekly sessions now (we usually do biweekly) over teletherapy. I feel quite fortunate in that regard because I could use the support. I am also glad that she will be able to continue working. I think a lot of medical and mental health professionals are going this route. Sending everyone compassion.

Yesterday (Friday) I saw my pdoc. I passed the drug test and got approval from the Australian Medical Board to be treated with Ritalin. They are very strict on prescribing, especially if you have been diagnosed with Bipolar. So I started taking it Friday afternoon. A low dose to start and slowly increasing to 40 mg.

Within an hour of taking it many of my Fibromyalgia symptoms eased. My mind has more energy so I can complete more tasks. This is encouraging. Oddly, even though it’s a stimulant it calmed me down. Perhaps I do really have ADHD also. It doesn’t matter. It helps.

As I’ve had SI, and have Bipolar 1 with psychotic features, my pdoc has arranged for me to see him weekly for a month rather than have to be hospitalised to be monitored in case things go bad. Hospital would be an awful place to be during this pandemic. I will do all I can to avoid it. I’m so thankful for my pdoc’s support.

On Saturday morning I am seeing my T. I’m so glad’cause I really need to talk. It’s been a rough week.

The big news for me is that there is a case of the virus here in my county. Mum is angry that we are all conspiring to keep her in. She has lung problems, heart problems and is 92. Because we don't want me catching it and giving it to her I'm stuck in too. Wishing I'd done a bit of panic buying cause now I think it's going to be a long time.

It's so hard to tell how long this may last. I am hearing about some very long possibilities.

Do any of your supermarkets offer pick-up services, when you order online?

I found many dry goods at Amazon.

Keep us posted!
Much Love

My nephew's wife is still commuting to work so she comes to town Monday-Friday. We can tell her what we need then she will drop it off in the garage and I can wipe it off before bring it in the house. I wish I could shop online then just have her pick it up but my iPad is too old and I can't keep a connection with the website. The problem is convincing mum that this is the way it has to be. She doesn't want to put anyone out.