Bipolar check-in #48

Glad ur out. Klonopin on its way?

Prayers for kitty.

Hugs.

iGli had an ex who was lovely, but she liked to interrupt a lot. Finally, I just gave up and wld stop talking every time she did it. It worked. I just don't think she was aware.

I am also lonely. No iidea what to do.

Welcome back Spikes. I'm sorry about your cat and I'm glad you're home to be with him.

Hi falcon09. Geodon gave me the worst akathisia of any medication. Pure torture! It was also quite difficult for me to get off of that medication. I had been taking a high dose for several years. Geodon can cause particularly bad withdrawal symptoms after long-term use. Don't be surprised if you experience a bit. My psychiatrist had to wean me off of it over a rather long period of time, but I did get off of it. The akathisia did disappear as I was weaned off. I hope it goes smoothly and gently for you.

@MarcusAurelius, sending hugs. I do hope that if it comes to it that you will notify your human resources about what's going on. It's not fair that people are reprimanded when sick. They don't generally reprimand a person with major physical illnesses. Mental illness is no different.

@spikes, I hope your kitty's heart improves. It would be terrible for him to suffer from this. I was always so worried when my pets got sick.

@whatever2013, I hear you on wanting to see more people face-to-face again. Even when I've gone out to grocery stores or to pick up takeout, it hasn't been the same. At two places I used to regularly get hugs or "Cheers" TV show type greetings. Flirting isn't even fun, anymore. What a darned tough time we're living through. I try to remember that everyone's feeling similar. Are at least some cafes open for outdoor seating? Or would you enjoy a short walk outside and be able to invite someone for one? In my state, many people even wear masks outside, but there a lot of people outdoors again.

@Innerzone, of course you deserve to be heard! Does that person talk over many people? If so, it is likely either a bad habit that person has developed, or who knows, maybe they have bipolar hypomania? Either way, I hope that you will let her know during your next conversation with her. You might practice ahead of time ways to diplomatically (gently) let her know she does this. It would be a favor to her, because if she talks over you, she likely talks over (and annoys) others. I've done that to others in the past when hypomanic/manic. I can get loud, too. I've asked my husband to even give me a signal when I do that.

@Miguel'smom, I hope you and your husband feel better, soon.

@~Christina, I hope you can get back to your painting a bit. I hope it's pleasure painting and not work type house painting. As for things just for you, it is a pain that so many options are not appealing during this pandemic time. Do you like bubble baths? Bird watching? I hope you can find something for you. Although my husband isn't ill, I do desire time without him. I even offered to him that I'd get out of the house to give him alone time, but he didn't want that. I said to myself "Dang! Doesn't he even get sick of me, a bit?"

I am feeling mellow,

I told my Sister how i have been feeling. Had a big chat last night. She says i need to look into what i need to do to be well off the meds if that's what I want. I still don't believe i have bipolar and i eqyally don't know what to do

But.... I'm feeling good and mellow so all is good in the world

Today my husband has his almost monthly eye appointment, which we both hate. I cancelled my therapy for today because of it, but then his best friend volunteered to take him. Yes! Yes! So, I have some time to myself and a break from therapy for a week,which I've also been hoping for. My therapist never ever seems to take vacation. As a bonus to all of this, I finally have my video session with my psychiatrist tomorrow, after many weeks.

I'm supposed to have an endometrial biopsy at my gynecologist's office just after my next monthly, but the monthly is not coming. I wish I could get it over with already. I also had a mammogram appointment last week after a long week, but when the day came, I totally forgot about it. I'm sure they'll charge me something. The rescheduled appointment wasn't for another two and half weeks. Maybe I'll call them and ask if they have a cancellation time I could have. They suggested calling for that.

I'll be making homemade banana frozen yogurt today. I hope it's good. Lower calorie and fat than the usual.

Not judging at all, believe me, but you have told this very story before. I am quite worried about what comes next.

Hugs.

I'm feeling less antsy, less fidgety, less hyper, less talkative, less urges to talk to people and people i see, don't really have racing thoughts, I'm just exhausted.

I've been researching like mad took a few tests online they all say i have this condition. I've watched YouTube videos, googled this condition, Wikipedia the condition and I'm still researching.

I've been researching what I need to live free of meds. Vitamins, therapy, exercise, diet and sleep. Oh and routine but with no job and COVID-19 still flying about i have no routine. Every day goes into the next.

Today I am feel refreshed but I know I need to start going to bed earlier. Sometimes I just can't seem to sleep, my mind races from one subject to the next and I feel restless.


I'm trying to drink maybe to relax a bit today because I cried a bit last night and I could feel it coming. So it felt good to release it finally. Sometimes I try to hold back, because I don't want to appear as being weak.... My family doesn't really get my moods, but either do I. Trying to figure this out and journal, so I can figure this all out. I took my medication and drinking water. I've completely cut soda out of my diet. So I do feel good about that.

I'm sitting in the dark (at 12 noon) with no electricity and no one else home. On my smart phone (data usage). I had projects I wanted to do, but they do require electricity. Oh well! I hope the storm passes quickly and the electricity goes on again. Does anyone else lose electricity during big storms? I wish they'd finally bury the lines.

Bummer! I hope it isn't too hot and that the power returns quickly for you. We lose power every now and again. It is frustrating, and especially so when you have lots to do.

Sorry, Soupe. Hopefully, it won't last. Yeah, we lost power last wk for three hours. It is rare. Just took a nap. It did get hot inside.

Hugs!

Hell, I lose electricity during small storms. We're at the very end of the grid on a rural road with tons of weak trees. I don't think we're going to get hit by Isaias but if we do we're definitely going to be using the generator for a while.

I hope your electricity returns soon and you can resume your projects.

I kept H up all night talking about my issues. I hate being needy, I'm trying really hard not to be but I feel so wrong. I don't know what to do. I'm focusing on keeping myself safe. It's hard. I don't think I can get hurt. Nothing will change this. I feel like giving up and not fighting my thoughts. I need to distract myself. I have to trust my treatment team. I don't want to be hospitalized. I don't think I can take the change in atmosphere right now. H needs a break from me but he says he can't handle things without me here. So I don't know I'm REALLY confused. I need someone to sit me down and be like this is how we're going to get you and your family healthy and thriving.

Hello, Everyone!

I'm feeling optimistic today. I decided to change my psychiatrist. I need someone more reliable with open options if he's not available. I found a system closer to my house that my insurance covers. My intake appointment is in two weeks. So, I'm grateful.

As for the month long insomnia, last night I slept pretty good and I'm trying to keep the same energy for tonight. I went to the pharmacy to consult with a pharmacist about taking melatonin. It's a no-go unfortunately. So, I hope my cocktail works again tonight.

I hope everyone's okay today.

I was feeling really good until a bottle of cotton candy soda caused me to get nauseated during therapy today which caused my moods to go weird. Then the session ended up being like a high school sex education class instead. Now I have to explain in email that I’ve been getting high off melatonin and I’m trying to figure out how to do that without getting myself in a massive amount of trouble. She was asking routine questions and asked about the melatonin and if I had taken any and I said I had taken some but it wasn’t to hurt myself. Today was just weird in therapy. Productive. But weird. But I still feel alright overall. I just feel perhaps a bit elevated for some reason. She thinks there’s some risk taking behavior going on. I said I could relate to Heath Ledger. Meaning an accidental OD from prescription drugs. She for some reason thought I was talking about erotic asphyxiation but I firmly told her no. That was definitely not happening I had never even heard of that before. Then we got into more similar stuff. I don’t know I personally think there’s some more medical things going on since my pain from 2 weeks ago has returned in the same spots and I haven’t been careful at all. Plus I haven’t been too hungry lately.

That’s about when I lost power. We found out why when we looked out the window. Across the street, a giant tree fell down and took out all the wires. I imagine it won’t be back until sometime tomorrow, as the township has to come take care of the tree first before the power company can fix the line. I can’t even access the power company’s website to report the outage or check restoration times. It’s probably overloaded with customers. Even the phone line isn’t picking up! And thanks to corona, none of the usual places you could go to charge your electronics (Starbucks, etc) are open. Sucks!

Yesterday I had a Stellate Ganglion Block. An injection of anaesthetic into a bunch of nerves near my spine. They are part of the sympathetic nervous system so it calms down my hyper vigilance and fight/flight response that were out of control due to PTSD. It worked! I feel much calmer since having it. As I had a mild general anaesthesia for the procedure late yesterday I can’t drive today so I’m at my parents so they can take me to therapy.

Tonight I’m going over my ex-husbands place. We are sort of back together. It will be nice catching up with him while I’m less jumpy and calmer. It is 8 am here and I feel like I have more energy than usual so I’m hopeful that the injection has calmed down my chronic fatigue syndrome as it is thought to be nervous system based. Unfortunately, my chronic pain only disappeared for a few hours after the procedure. I was hoping for longer relief. I see the specialist who performed the procedure in two weeks. I may need to have it done again depending on how I am then. It’s so wonderful to be calm.

Hey ! Yes its not house painting that I am doing in the fall , I have 2 bedrooms and bathroom I want to paint but all windows will need to be open and big fans blowing ... This is a very detailed paint by number.

Paint by Numbers Kit - Colorful Tree – BlingPainting]

Hope that link works

We still have no hotwater .. They sent us the wrong tankless hot water thing, So hurry up and wait , we have a nearly 400 foot well so the water is soooo cold .. fun fun fun

Can you just go take a drive somewhere ??? even tho Steve is better I still dont leave him for long, yet .

Everyone needs some alone time

@Wander: That's great news about your procedure! So happy for you!

Steves Doctor Appt went well. Sent for a lab recheck on Ammonia level, God I hope that is okay now, Was slightly elevated 2 weeks ago. Also got a referral for a dietician. Also need a baseline eye exam for diabetes.. And the sleep study. So more to get done

Im Okay I guess. Just stressed but its expected with so much going on in the world and with Steves multi health problems

Those of you effected by the storm I hope you get your power back on soon

Hugs to all

I want to take a Xanax I am so anxious and sick to my stomach. I’ve had my night meds and a few melatonin and a visteral already. Im probably sick because of that concoction. I’m just not sure how else to handle all this anxiety.

I think I figured out that it wasn’t the soda that made me nauseated in therapy. I got nauseated at the same time my therapist told me she still didn’t know when she’d be back in the office. After telling me for a few weeks it would be at the end of August. So I think that’s why I got sick to my stomach and just mistook it for the soda.

Wellllll, it's not by taking too many and random concoctions of your meds and supplements. You asked a few days ago if we thought this was a problem. I've got to say yes. The why and how have been ... troubling.

I don't want to get on your case or anything, but these are the very things a friend of mine would do and say and they developed a pill problem then moved to hard drugs and landed in rehab. That's how the problem starts... "can't handle" something, want to "take the edge off". Over-serving oneself. Taking them for kicks. Those thoughts and actions don't have a good trajectory. It'd be good to nip it in the bud.

I think you should be honest with your team about what's going on, because this could escalate faster than you may think.

Much

I'm coping. My pdoc appt. went very well He told me with COVID, self isolating and constant construction work on the apt. building I'm doing well.