Bipolar Check-In #49

I am so glad you are posting, Gabyunbound.

Please take the zoloft back out of the boxes. And call your pdoc. Not being bossy -- you already know this.

I agree with bpc that mixed can be confusing and sneaky. My worst one took more than a month(!!) for it to dawn on my that's what was going on (I was away from my psych providers at the time) Pure hell. You don't want that for you. We don't want that for you. You know what you need to do (and not do).

Please give your pdoc a call so you can get this back on the road and not careening into a ditch. I know you want to fix this yourself, but best not to play with what looks like mixed. Maybe you can fix something down the line. This is not the one.

Wishing you the best, please let us know how it goes.

My previous pdoc (which I'm still using until my new therapist sees me on the 21st) prescribed Dapokote for the mania and Clonopin (spelling) for insomnia. Any experiences with any of these?

I sleep a total of 7ish hours last night (spread out of course). No pacing in my living room. No bath. No Melatonin. I simply laid down and slept. I feel a bit hopeful again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Living in LaLa Land My previous pdoc (which I'm still using until my new therapist sees me on the 21st) prescribed Dapokote for the mania and Clonopin (spelling) for insomnia. Any experiences with any of these? I sleep a total of 7ish hours last night (spread out of course). No pacing in my living room. No bath. No Melatonin. I simply laid down and slept. I feel a bit hopeful again.

It's so good that you slept some. Definitely a hopeful sign!

I took Depakote for a year or so. Interestingly, it was prescribed to me for migraine headaches. It did help with those and it did stabilize my moods. The downside was that I did gain some weight, maybe about 25 lbs.

Clonazepam (Lonopin) is a benzo. I've been on it for 20+ years because my body is addicted to it. As long as you don't stay on it so long that you build a tolerance and have to keep increasing the dose and so on until your physically addicted to it (meaning, you have vicious, even life threatening, withdrawal symptoms when you try to stop taking it) it's helpful for reducing anxiety and for some people, sleep. My strong suggestion is just don't take it for more than a couple of months MAX.

I've forgotten - have you ever been on Lamictal?

My pdoc told me to only use the Klonopin as needed as and for less than a month. I plan to use it only as needed and mindful of the time spent.

Thank you!

I've taken Depakote, it helped for mania but caused some weight gain so I got onto a different mood stabilzier. I take klonopin prn for and anxiety and panic attacks, I can see how it might help with sleep

You might want to look into getting a mirena IUD. I had heavy periods and now I have zero periods after getting this IUD. Would save something more invasive like the ablation.

I seem to be doing better after 4 or 5 days now without caffeine, but I'm still craving coffee. lol It's was just such a big part of my day and routine, I'd drink it (black) all day to keep myself from bingeing on unhealthy food, now I gotta just stick with water which is great but I'm so used to all the coffee.

Not yet, I will finally be getting her this month. My sister is able to set up a vet appointment for her so we can get her shot records and information turned into my apartment complex, then she'll be living with me! It's taken awhile because my brother in law was in the hospital and she works full time and didn't have anyone to take her to the appointment but now that he's out he can do it.

In one hour I will be sitting in my hair stylist's chair, praise the universe! Salons have finally been reopened in my county. I suppose they'll shut them down again in about 3 weeks, so I'm grabbing the opportunity whilst I have it. I feel like a little kid on the morning of her birthday.

Ran again. Hooray. Pretty euthymic since upping the exercise. Might maybe be working. Working out twice a day now. It is a huge commitment of time and energy. I am hopeful. Very.

Hugs to all.

I'd love to go walking but I dont have time what with all the moving stuff I have to do plus that paperwork!

My pdoc got back to me and doubled the Zyprexa dose to 10 mg. I see her on Friday. She said that if I'm not better after a couple of days on this dose, she would consider hospitalizing me.

But I'm not there. Not even close. That I can say with clear eyes. We just have to see what is to come. I haven't had a hallucination for about a week, since I started taking the Zyprexa. Actually, there was one, the first night.

Light bothers me a great deal and this actually is an indication for me that something just isn't right. I was just talking on the phone and rocking back and forth. I need to, and it's just comforting.

I took a klonopin about an hour and a half ago and have calmed down quite a bit. Normally by now I'd be fast asleep, but I'm not even close to that. But I'm so grateful it has relaxed me to a point.

Since I took a klonopin during the day, I won't take it tonight, just the 10 of Zyprexa and the rest of my meds.

And NO ALCOHOL!

I did something terrible, awful at work today. I work in healthcare. A patient said something that was funny, but it was also very sad and I burst out laughing. Then he said something else of that sort, and I laughed again. So so so unprofessional. I'm mortified. And I'm so sorry for the patient that one of his providers acted this way instead of with quiet compassion, which I think is what he needed. I NEVER would have done that in my right mind. At least tomorrow is my day off. And I hope hope hope to be better by Friday.

This is one of the last summery days for awhile. I sat out on the deck and watched the hummingbirds. Also saw the cutest little tiny green frog, no bigger than my thumbnail! By next week the highs will only be in the 60’s. So I grabbed the chance to just soak up the sun. I’m very grateful.

Having to go to bed early due to SI. It’s frustrating and embarrassing to think I’ve got myself decently pulled together and to keep tripping and falling. No hope tonight. Maybe tomorrow will be better. I’ll call my NP.

Warmest regards.

You are getting a workout anyway.

I got my cds and books packed. Got rid of a ton of things from my bedroom and bathroom. A big HEAVY garbage bag. Got a big pile of stuff to give away including my old winter coat. Got my closet in the bedroom cleared out. If I can keep up this pace, I just might make it! Plus, I weighed myself for the week and I thought the scale was broken but I am now in the 10 pound bracket below the one I started in! Yes!

Speaking as a heathcare provider for decades, you have absolutely no business working right now. You are a phone call away from starting a process that could take away your license. Take it from one who has been through that.

I have nothing but love and compassion for you, truly. Please be careful. Consider stepping aside for a bit--today.

Hugs and love.

so sorry, Jennifer. You are such a good patient. Such good judgment. Really hope you feel better tomorrow. Praying for you.

Hugs.

Thanks. But I cant do that bc I smoke...

Well I had a miserable night with my son again. He kept waking me up. I only got about 3 hours of sleep. I hate my life and I guess that's all I'll say right now

Long talks today. new diet we'll see. T tomorrow.

Sorry, Breeze.

You're absolutely right and I appreciate you bringing this up. Luckily this is my day off, but if it hadn't been I'd probably be working (if I hadn't seen your reply first). I didn't have it in me to see that. I just thought, I have to do better. But in the condition I was in yesterday, it was impossible to do better and I lacked the insight to make that decision to not work.

To update, like I said before, I took a klonopin yesterday early afternoon and it relaxed me somewhat but didn't put me to sleep, which it always does.

I had a very difficult day. I was ill. I have been ill.

At around 7:30, I took the 10mg of Zyprexa along with my other night meds and it took some 5 hours for me to get to sleep after that!! My pdoc had said the Zyprexa would put me to sleep! Eventually it did, but those were scary hours, I was afraid I wouldn't sleep at all.

And I was able to sleep in.

I haven't been up for long, but so far so good. I don't feel hyper or antsy, etc., etc. My feelings these last weeks have tended to ramp up as the day has gone on, culminating in horrific evenings and nights. But as I say, so far so good.

I think this has definitely been a mixed episode.

I'll see how I feel the rest of the day. If my mood and behavior go downhill again, I'll not work tomorrow. Though I hate to tell them at the last minute, they might not be able to get coverage. I think I might tell them I can't work now, just in case.

I hope things don't get worse again. I see my pdoc tomorrow.

Thanks again.

So I told work that I am ill and can't work tomorrow. I hate doing it, in part because there are likely others on PTO for the long weekend and it may be hard to cover my shift.

Thanks for setting me straight, I really needed that advice.

That's so important that you advocated for yourself, your health.

Lots of scary money quotes coming to my husband and me for house improvements. Today our realtor came with a flooring representative to help us decide on options. The flooring rep just sent me the full quote. I suppose that since it is for much of our main house, except bathrooms, kitchen and foyer, it would be big $$$, but it is still painful to look at. My husband is out at the moment. He wishes that our current stairway and upstairs carpeting would remain, but there are some serious problem areas in it. For example, my husband had the brilliant idea of putting a tree in our spare room. [I hated that idea from the beginning.] Well, under it is a deep round indentation and an impossible to remove stain. And no, you can't expect a prospective buyer not to notice.

When the realtor and flooring guy came I was so nervous that I started to sweat (anxiety-induced hyperhidrosis). I had to step away for a bit and just let Hubby talk. I keep pushing myself, all the same. The other day, I went to the hair salon for a much needed a haircut. I started sweating at one point there, as well. Usually they offer ice water, but they haven't since the coronavirus. I was thinking of getting my hair colored in Czech Republic (probably less than half the price), but I'm reconsidering because of possible sweating. It's just terrible! I can clench my fists to get through tough stuff, but something often gives. In this case, the sweat flows. As it flows, the anxiety builds.