Bipolar Check-In #49

Glad you had a nice day!!

I'm still doing well. It's weird because I feel almost normal. I'm left alone for hours and I'm okay. My computer broke so I'm left typing on my phone but it's okay it's not a major issue. Is no expected date to get it fixed. Just weird.

I am almost feeling defeated.

This low I'm in is so persistent. And on top of it I have anxiety. I get nervous about every little thing, even for stuff I do at home.

I have really come to know exactly what it means to be holding on by a thread.

I upped my dose of Wellbutrin about 2 weeks ago. I was on this dose before - it just reduces my body pains from the depression. I'm still waiting for it to start working.

My pdoc is out of ideas. So now I'm left in this situation for who knows how long. I'm waiting for an appointment at a special clinic but with covid, who knows when that might happen.

i am so sorry, Scooter. I forget--did you try Clozaril yet? Works foralot of treatment-resistant folks. I may be trying it and or ketamine for my resustant depresskon.

Hugs! Hang in there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatever2013 I cooked today for the first time in over a year. It's because of studying mindfulness. I'm not so stubborn about washing dishes. I made a big pot of veg bean stew with raisins, peanuts and red wine vinegar. I'm one big ache now tho. All the strenuous shopping. It's nice to have homemade food tho. I was eager to lie down and do my body-scan meditation. I closed the door so my dog couldn't run around and firmly told her No when she started to fuss and she settled right down. This morning i didn't go back to bed for the first time since Spring. I also took a shower for the third day in a row. So nice to have fluffy hair. Exhausted now tho and can't tolerate TV, radio, or anything. Hugs to all who struggle!

***Fantastic, whatever!***

Been a while since I've checked in. I finally made a phone appointment with my p-doc. I haven't spoken to her in 3 months. Usually I have appointments every month. I haven't been doing that great lately. Sleeping a lot and wanting nothing but junk food. I have no motivation to do anything. I have no energy. My depression is creeping in. I think that this winter is gonna be hard. This virus stuff isn't helping matters at all. I haven't been able to see my therapist in 4 months now. Phone appointments only, and I am not comfortable doing counseling over the phone. I don't even like the fact that I have to talk to my doctor on the phone. But I am trying to improve my situation. One day at a time.

Just for those who follow along— still alive. Nothing has changed .

just in a lot of physical pain.

a lot

the usual body pain plus pain in my leg

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmariah001 Been a while since I've checked in. I finally made a phone appointment with my p-doc. I haven't spoken to her in 3 months. Usually I have appointments every month. I haven't been doing that great lately. Sleeping a lot and wanting nothing but junk food. I have no motivation to do anything. I have no energy. My depression is creeping in. I think that this winter is gonna be hard. This virus stuff isn't helping matters at all. I haven't been able to see my therapist in 4 months now. Phone appointments only, and I am not comfortable doing counseling over the phone. I don't even like the fact that I have to talk to my doctor on the phone. But I am trying to improve my situation. One day at a time.

Is teletherapy an option?

Hang in there.

Stay strong.

I am just SO pleased how you are taking charge and improving your situation, whatever!! Real cooking is the one thing I really don't manage well, so I'm very impressed with yours -- enjoy your stew! Which I'm sure you will with mindfully eating it -- the flavors, the textures, the pride in accomplishment. Excellent job!!

I feel kinda crappy today. I’m still kinda down in the dumps about therapy yesterday. Last night wasn’t great sleep wise. I don’t think sleeping with my headphones on is very good. Im trying just to have a productive day and keep my mind busy. I get my haircut at 2 and then AGT is on tonight and it should be pretty good. My family doesn’t realize that therapy is getting to me. I mean I think my mom knows that I’m not always happy after it but I don’t think she gets that I am really unhappy after most sessions. I just feel like my therapist doesn’t have the patience that she used to have with me. I honestly just feel like I was doing what she asked me to do and that she’s being kinda confusing and contradictory. I really do like her though.

I have an email for her that I’ll send at 5

I took 37.mg of seroquel last night thinking it would be ok. 12.5 at 8:30, and the other 25 at around midnight because I wasn’t asleep yet. NO I was not ok. I felt like I was paralyzed in the morning. I couldn’t wake up until 12:30pm. I need to cut all my 50mg pills into fourths with the pill cutter. Ther don’t cut well with a knife. That’s why I took another 25.

I start work in less than a week! I gotta get this under control!!!

Hi wildflowerchild. Have you tried taking the Seroquel even earlier than 8:30 pm, and the full amount? I know that it took some experimentation for me to figure out the best time to take my Seroquel XR. Even if it makes you a bit tired early in the evening, pushing through that initial early sleepiness can often help to get used to it quicker. Also, for me, it is important that I don't stay up too late at night, deliberately.

As referenced, I do take the XR at night and not the regular. I take 650 mg. Often higher doses become no more, or even less, sedating than the lower doses. In either case, many people, like me, do get past the excess sedation. I generally only need about 7 or 8 hours sleep and wake up refreshed. I take my Seroquel XR at about 7 pm or 8 pm, at the latest.

I've been knocking out one project after another. There's just tons to do! I don't want my husband and I to be overwhelmed with tasks if/when the time comes that we must move. Tomorrow we have a real estate "stager" coming. I had never even heard of such a job. She will basically tell us everything we should do to spruce up our house, including the colors of paint and new flooring we might choose, and how we should arrange things in our house. She, herself, will come back at a later time, too, to sort of do interior decorating, of a sort. We'll have to spend lots of money in the near future!

What is frustrating is that it is oddly difficult, during this pandemic, to even give stuff away, let alone sell stuff. However, apparently the real estate market is doing quite well. Mortgage interest rates are very very low.

My Dad has said I should be a stager, lol! (I'd never heard of it before that either, despite having sold a house -- totally DIY, but it worked) I don't think I have the personality for it though, so I work colors and design in another, less intimidating (to me) way. I think I'd really like it though. Blah, blah, enough about me(!)

Good luck with it all! Having moved MANY times, I can appreciate what all you're having to do.

Progress!

It is a natural talent you must have. I'm the absolute worst at such things. My husband isn't that good at it, either. I definitely need the help!

I'll be curious what the stager is like. I don't think she needs to really have a salesperson type personality. Hmm? After we meet with her, I'll let you know what my impressions are.

I actually think I’ll be ok without melatonin for once. I’m very tired for some reason. Not hungry at all. At least not taking melatonin will be helpful.

My sons pdoc is on vacation. That's why I haven't heard from him. Tried to get someone else to help in the agency. They said they cant make any med changes. So just dealing with him being out of control. His hands are cracking from washing them so much.

I finally got some sleep. I took a muscle relaxer tho bc my back was really killing me. I think it helped me sleep.

My sister came over yesterday to help me clean. She called me later and said it must be so hard to deal with my son. She saw how he has to wash his hands to do anything.

I'm still tired.

Hope everyone is having a good day.

Some of you may know i play Scrabble. My opponent played the strange word UNAXED on me today. I challenged and lost. It's a real word! But i don't mind because the only dumb question is the question unaxed!

Today I took the longest walk since I had surgery on May 28th. I want to feel pleased, and I am, I'm just so tired. 1/4 mile walk, a few chores, and I could sleep until midnight.

[QUOTE=Soupe du jour;6920982]I've been knocking out one project after another. There's just tons to do! I don't want my husband and I to be overwhelmed with tasks if/when the time comes that we must move. Tomorrow we have a real estate "stager" coming. I had never even heard of such a job. She will basically tell us everything we should do to spruce up our house, including the colors of paint and new flooring we might choose, and how we should arrange things in our house. She, herself, will come back at a later time, too, to sort of do interior decorating, of a sort. We'll have to spend lots of money in the near future!

What is frustrating is that it is oddly difficult, during this pandemic, to even give stuff away, let alone sell stuff. However, apparently the real estate market is doing quite well. Mortgage interest rates are very very low.[/QUO

My Aunt and Uncle were both realtors, They worked with a woman when it comes to staging. We moved all my living room furniture to a storage unit. 50% of things in my closets went to storage. Most every toy my daughter had went to storage unit, She didn't care just do not touch her books.. My bedroom was fine, She did want the tv in my bedroom and the one in Amandas room taken out.

Anyway the goal was an illusion that my home was actually bigger than it was it worked...... I accepted an offer in less than a week.

I think staging is a fantastic tool when selling a home.