Bipolar Check-In #49

im going to the psych ward tomorrow

Hang in there, Breeze. Mixed states are so tough for me. What about a med tweak?

Hugs!!

Mountaindewed, I'm glad to read that you are a bit better today.

Coffeee, it is a relief that your house is spared. I'm sorry you were affected by the fire. If it is any consolation, I thought I'd post a photo I found a long while back. I used it to represent new growth after severe times, mood-wise, but it has a good literal meaning, as well. See attached. So very often after devastating fires, the soil left afterwards is particularly fertile.

Coolbreeze, I know how distressing mixed episodes can be. I'm sorry you've been stricken with one. Hopefully it will ease soon.

Gabyundbound, based on what you wrote, if I was in your shoes, I'd reconsider that small dose of Seroquel. Mixed episodes used to be a major issues for me, as was hypomania and full blown mania. I do take a large dose of Seroquel XR, but when I have breakthrough hypomania/mania or mixed features, I take regular Seroquel in low dose (in addition) and it almost always does the trick. If you do decide to give low dose Seroquel a try, maybe consider taking it early evening instead of later at night. If lack of sleep is your main issue, the goal is to sleep. Seroquel works really great for that for many people.

I'm making peach cobbler for supper. I hope it turns out; today hasn't been the best.

Went back to work on tuesday. I so enjoy being back! I don’t like getting up at 7am, but I do enjoy the activity and social interaction. My team is great. We only have 3 students doing in person learning for now. The other four are remote. My one to one hasn’t started yet. He was supposed to have gotten out of a long term (one monthish) hospitalization on Thursday so we are not sure when he might arrive. He may have to do an after care program like php or they may consider our school good enough for php, since we are a therapeutic school. We’ll see.

This weekend we are going to my cousin’s birthday party. I tried so hard to come up with an excuse not to go but I couldn’t. I do not like any of these people. My two cousins suck, their partners suck, my uncle sucks, my aunt is meh. My mom is refusing to go because of how my uncle treats my grandma, my brother has nothing to do with any of us anymore. So it’ll be me, RS, my son, a bunch of people I don’t like, and maybe some strangers. Sounds like a grand time. Can’t even guarantee there will be food aside from a grocery store cake that may or may not be big enough for everyone (based on prior experiences). So we’re gonna go but only for an absolute maximum of two hours.

Sunday I’m getting a coverup tattoo. I was going to get some new ear piercings too but I want to wait until after all testing is done for my stomach issues in case I have to take metal jewelry out for any of them. Wouldn’t want to spend money on new piercings just for them to close up because I had to remove them!

I tried to dye my hair back to brown but the blue won’t go!!! I finally researched and found out I need to use a warm red to cancel out the green tones in the blue. So I guess I’ll be a redhead!

Yeah, I've got a new current of anxiety running under everything else going on.

I'm trying today. I have a headache from no caffeine and stomach ache from eating. I won't take medication because I deserve this for being so stupid. Hopefully tomorrow will be better pain wise. I can't wrap my mind around being relapsed, it being a bad thing and my bmi. H asked if I find him disgusting when I relapse. I'm still a little shocked my t pushed me back to every two weeks. I feel she's frustrated with me.

Hang in there, D.

Hey, I just went tubeless for the first time and put on Schwalbe One 28s. Soooooo awesome! No more flats!!

Hugs.

Well I tried to sleep. No sleep though. I have to go look at chairs for my living room. The last one broke. It was like 30 yrs old. My family is helping me buy q new one for my birthday...

Hope everyone is well. Hugs to those struggling...

Thanks.

Hey, tubeless to me means sew-ups. (I raced back in the 80s.) Your follow-up, "No more flats" makes me think this is something new(er) that I don't know about. Tell me more.

Oh man, tubular is what you had. Now, you can mount tubeless-ready tires on tubeless rims, inject 65 cc's of liquid latex, use an air compressor and the tire instantly seats the bead. Now, no tube and if you hit a nail or glss, the latex immediately seals the hole in the tire
You get like one tubeless flat that won't seal per yr. Totally awesome.

You're right, it was tubular, not tubeless back in the 80s. What's wrong with my memory? Oh, right, I've had five years of ECT.

The whole tubeless system sounds great.

If your body needs medication, please seriously consider taking it. I will tomorrow. I'm trying to teach myself not to do this **** again. I'm going to have to treat soda like a drug and just not allow myself to ever have it.

can you speak with her about her reason for doing that? I will when I see her next

I'm pretty sure I'm dependent on it. So the next few days/weeks are not going to be fun. All today I've been bursting out crying. Researching unobtainable solutions to my body issues and racking my brain to why this is happening again. Is it possible to be depressed and not know.

I am getting by.

I am in pain, but not enough that I have to stop doing what I am doing (been their this week, that's painful!)

heard from a friend who told me she arived safely back in her home country, so that was a nice positive about today.

I also have low anxiety, which is nice.. I had high anxiety yesterday (no real reason, it was just really bad)