[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

It got to the point today where my husband told me to take PRN Seroquel. I did. The stress is now blatantly getting to me.

I'm sorry I havent kept up with all the work you are doing and making such a huge move. I can only imagine the stress you are under...

I hope the closing goes off without a hitch and you can enjoy some places here before you leave to start a new chapter..

I'm glad you husband told you to take a seroquel..

Sending you loads of hugs and good thoughts that things will get easier

[~Christina]

My testing went well. I had started to wonder if choking all the time was just in my head. After Colonscopy and EDG my Doctor said my esophagus was vert very narrow so he did a dilation. My throat is still pretty painful, not like a im sick sore throat , I can tell in the tissue and structer that it was done, Its expected for a few days.. I am so amazed how much eating and drinking is so much easier.. He said its probably going to be something I will need done off and on the rest of my life...

I was given Propanol for the testing, no problem, until today.. anyway I have broke out in lil bumps all over my body, there is no rash I had my husband check my back, no rash just covered in bumps that are so itchy i cant even explain. I looked it up and it can happen day after receiving it... Can last for a few weeks.

Benedryl isnt doing anything. I took a dose of Prednisone, no help at all..

I swear I have a weird reaction to everything anymore LOL

Hugs to all

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

My testing went well. I had started to wonder if choking all the time was just in my head. After Colonscopy and EDG my Doctor said my esophagus was vert very narrow so he did a dilation. My throat is still pretty painful, not like a im sick sore throat , I can tell in the tissue and structer that it was done, Its expected for a few days.. I am so amazed how much eating and drinking is so much easier.. He said its probably going to be something I will need done off and on the rest of my life...

I was given Propanol for the testing, no problem, until today.. anyway I have broke out in lil bumps all over my body, there is no rash I had my husband check my back, no rash just covered in bumps that are so itchy i cant even explain. I looked it up and it can happen day after receiving it... Can last for a few weeks.

Benedryl isnt doing anything. I took a dose of Prednisone, no help at all..

I swear I have a weird reaction to everything anymore LOL

Hugs to all

I am glad the throat dilation has made eating easier and more pleasant, Christina. The narrowing sounds horrible! What on earth could have caused that?

I am so happy to see you back posting on PC. Hugs

[Mountaindewed]

I slept pretty good last night. In general last night was the best night I’ve had in a long time. I wasn’t depressed or sick to my stomach. I was just in a good non manic mood. My bed was so comfortable. Today I feel pretty good. I didn’t want to take my morning walk but I pushed myself to do it. I have been learning how to push myself more. Today I don’t miss my therapist quite as much as I did these past few days. And I’m looking forward to group tomorrow.

I’m not sure if it’s my 13 pound weight loss or if the swelling is still going down, but I am super happy with the way my chest looks. Although there are little bits that still look weird but my surgeon is going to fix them.

[Soupe du jour]

My husband just showed an extreme disrespect for me. I can not accept that. We were supposed to meet one of his past work friends for a dinner out, but I told him that I will not be attending. I also told him that he can move to Europe by himself. Just give me $10,000 after the house sale and he can keep the rest. I will stay in the US on my own. It's a shame all of my stuff is in moving boxes. That doesn't matter. I can live simply. I can go stay in my father's house with my brother, for the time being. If my husband doesn't reverse what he plans to do, and apologize, I will take a piece of luggage I have packed and ask my brother or sister to pick me up tonight. I give him until 5 pm tonight.

Update: He apologized for what he said/was going to do. I had to stand firm to make that happen. All is mostly resolved.

Soupe That sounds very upsetting. Are you ok?

[Moose72]

Here are a few pictures. The furniture is from my aunt. Night table and a matching table for the end of my bed. Don't know why they're sideways.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

My husband just showed an extreme disrespect for me. I can not accept that. We were supposed to meet one of his past work friends for a dinner out, but I told him that I will not be attending. I also told him that he can move to Europe by himself. Just give me $10,000 after the house sale and he can keep the rest. I will stay in the US on my own. It's a shame all of my stuff is in moving boxes. That doesn't matter. I can live simply. I can go stay in my father's house with my brother, for the time being. If my husband doesn't reverse what he plans to do, and apologize, I will take a piece of luggage I have packed and ask my brother or sister to pick me up tonight. I give him until 5 pm tonight.

Soup, all this moving stress seems to have gotten to both you and your husband. Right on the cusp of your moving. I hope you two can see this and reconcile soon. You've worked too hard to just give it all up so quickly.

[Victoria'smom]

Soupe du jour Hopefully it's reconcilable.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

My husband just showed an extreme disrespect for me. I can not accept that. We were supposed to meet one of his past work friends for a dinner out, but I told him that I will not be attending. I also told him that he can move to Europe by himself. Just give me $10,000 after the house sale and he can keep the rest. I will stay in the US on my own. It's a shame all of my stuff is in moving boxes. That doesn't matter. I can live simply. I can go stay in my father's house with my brother, for the time being. If my husband doesn't reverse what he plans to do, and apologize, I will take a piece of luggage I have packed and ask my brother or sister to pick me up tonight. I give him until 5 pm tonight.

Thinking of you and hoping everything works out.

[Sunflower123]

Hello! Checking in. I’m doing well overall. Yesterday, though, was a day of anxiety and panic attacks. Ugh. I despise anxiety. It was necessary for my daughter to drive me to an eye exam. I wasn’t able to cook dinner as I normally do either. Feeling better today. I’m taking a course on inner peace. Apparently, I’m not quite there.

I’m enjoying time with my daughter before Christmas while she hasn’t been around a lot of people. We’re having a lot of fun. After Christmas there will be different protocols in place until I know she’s clear. Our conversation made her angry and she accused me of trying to scare her but it is what it is. You just can’t be too careful. Her being here is a bright spot and a break for me.

I went to a fancy eye doctor in town and not only didn’t he give me a prescription for contacts along with glasses but he gave me the wrong prescription twice. I had to have a third exam from somebody else. The place I had my glasses made will make the correct prescription for free. They have really worked with me. I’m getting contacts as well. Glad it’s all working out finally after months of not seeing.

Hugs to all those that are struggling and wishes for a peaceful Sunday.

[Daonnachd]

I think I'm trending downward, wanting to isolate and all that. Strong feelings, certainty, really, that I don't matter to anyone.

[Soupe du jour]

Thanks, friends! Luckily my husband apologized for what he said and was going to do. The situation is pretty much resolved. I had to stand firm. I am usually always the one in our relationship that compromises and lets things go, but sometimes you have to be adamant.

This is an extraordinarily stressful time for both my husband and me. I just want some little break.

It will be a long time yet before my life gets back to any form of normalcy. Normalcy, routine, and a safe haven have been crucial for my stability.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

I think I'm trending downward, wanting to isolate and all that. Strong feelings, certainty, really, that I don't matter to anyone.

You matter so much here that I can only imagine how much you matter to the ones luckiest enough to call you family. You are a very special person.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Hello! Checking in. I’m doing well overall. Yesterday, though, was a day of anxiety and panic attacks. Ugh. I despise anxiety. It was necessary for my daughter to drive me to an eye exam. I wasn’t able to cook dinner as I normally do either. Feeling better today. I’m taking a course on inner peace. Apparently, I’m not quite there.

I’m enjoying time with my daughter before Christmas while she hasn’t been around a lot of people. We’re having a lot of fun. After Christmas there will be different protocols in place until I know she’s clear. Our conversation made her angry and she accused me of trying to scare her but it is what it is. You just can’t be too careful. Her being here is a bright spot and a break for me.

I went to a fancy eye doctor in town and not only didn’t he give me a prescription for contacts along with glasses but he gave me the wrong prescription twice. I had to have a third exam from somebody else. The place I had my glasses made will make the correct prescription for free. They have really worked with me. I’m getting contacts as well. Glad it’s all working out finally after months of not seeing.

Hugs to all those that are struggling and wishes for a peaceful Sunday.

I, too, hate anxiety. To me it's the worse feeling there is.


I'm so happy you're enjoying time with your daughter! That sounds like a dream. And you're doing it safely...*thumbs up*

GREAT that you had your glasses/Contact lenses script straightened out. That's an essential, for sure. I've worn both since I was a child and for the first time in my life I am actually proud of the glasses I have now. I think they're pretty.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I am glad the throat dilation has made eating easier and more pleasant, Christina. The narrowing sounds horrible! What on earth could have caused that?

I am so happy to see you back posting on PC. Hugs

Doctor said it can just happen, sometimes medications can be a factor.. It is so awesome to not have to be worried anytime I eat something or drink water...

Crazy !

Did that Seroquel help you yesterday? I hope so :uhug:

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

My husband just showed an extreme disrespect for me. I can not accept that. We were supposed to meet one of his past work friends for a dinner out, but I told him that I will not be attending. I also told him that he can move to Europe by himself. Just give me $10,000 after the house sale and he can keep the rest. I will stay in the US on my own. It's a shame all of my stuff is in moving boxes. That doesn't matter. I can live simply. I can go stay in my father's house with my brother, for the time being. If my husband doesn't reverse what he plans to do, and apologize, I will take a piece of luggage I have packed and ask my brother or sister to pick me up tonight. I give him until 5 pm tonight.

Update: He apologized for what he said/was going to do. I had to stand firm to make that happen. All is mostly resolved.

I am so sorry that this happened. I am glad he apologized, But it still hurts. I hope you are feeling better

[~Christina]

Jennifer that is down right stupid that you have had to go through so much to get correct glasses..... As if life isnt hard enough right now.. I'm sure M will get over it all quickly.

Many hugs

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

I think I'm trending downward, wanting to isolate and all that. Strong feelings, certainty, really, that I don't matter to anyone.

I understand that terrible feeling. But...you're sure an integral part of our group here, D. And I feel quite sure that you are deeply loved in your family.

[*Beth*]

Since November, as with all the past 9 years, I began having the arsenic hours depression - beginning when the light drops at 2 p.m., continuing until night falls. Hellish. Every day at 2 it feels like my life is stolen for the coming hours until dark. So on Friday my therapist and I came up with a very structured plan to cope with that period of time every day. It's helpful. Really getting in there and talking with her about the issue, then having a plan is helping. It's that feeling of I'll hold a little rock in my hand for 3 hours - anything, if it means it will help me get through this time without a frightening amount of SI.

Loves and hugs all 'round~

[Blue_Bird]

Had coffee with my sister today. Decaf, as I'm trying to cut out caffeine due to panic attacks getting worse. Was nice. Her boss scheduled her to get the covid vaccine in 2 weeks from now (she works in health care), so that's cool. She let me borrow her bread maker, so I'm going to try making a loaf of Italian bread with it. I've never used one before but she showed me how to do it and left the recipe/instruction booklet with me. I'm kind of nervous about doing it, I hope I don't mess it up. Plan on making the bread Tuesday or Wednesday.

I always worry my apartment isn't clean enough or messy, but she said it looks very nice and clean, so that's a relief to hear. Sometimes I struggle with motivation to clean but I try my best.

I'm watching The Queens Gambit on Netflix. It's really good. My therapist mentioned it last time we were talking so I decided to check it out, it's only a 7 episode show, so easy to binge watch.

I feel anxious tonight, I don't know why. Trying to cope with it though.

Have to go get bloodwork done tomorrow. My psychiatrist requested it. It's just routine, yearly bloodwork. Next time we talk we're going to discuss alternatives to metformin for appetite suppressant since I had to get off it due to it making my blood sugar drop too low.

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

I think I'm trending downward, wanting to isolate and all that. Strong feelings, certainty, really, that I don't matter to anyone.

Doubt may be your feeling, but the FACT is that you are a very important person 'round these parts. And I'm very sure for your family too.

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Thanks, friends! Luckily my husband apologized for what he said and was going to do. The situation is pretty much resolved. I had to stand firm. I am usually always the one in our relationship that compromises and lets things go, but sometimes you have to be adamant.

This is an extraordinarily stressful time for both my husband and me. I just want some little break.

It will be a long time yet before my life gets back to any form of normalcy. Normalcy, routine, and a safe haven have been crucial for my stability.

Oh, I'm so glad to hear that!

And may your life become settled as soon as it is possible (recognizing it will be awhile, just hoping it reaches this state sooner than later).

[Mountaindewed]

I’m gonna cheat today and only have about 980 calories today instead of 1200. I’ve been eating all day and then binge watching TV and forgetting to eat. I just had 3 eggs for dinner. they didn’t cause an issue. I’m not restricting or feeling sick it’s just the not hungry/no motivation to eat/ bored of food thing going on today. I haven’t eaten meat since Thursday but I’m not trying to be a vegetarian on purpose.

I think the melatonin and cough syrup were making me hungry to be honest. I kinda got the sense that was happening when I was taking melatonin some nights but not every night. I was really hungry the next day then ok if I didn’t take it that night.

I’m trying not to go to bed too early. It’s the whole “pushing myself” thing I’m trying. I’m trying to stay up later. Then I have been. I’ve been going to bed at 5:30. I’ll go in about 45 minutes.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Had coffee with my sister today. Decaf, as I'm trying to cut out caffeine due to panic attacks getting worse. Was nice. Her boss scheduled her to get the covid vaccine in 2 weeks from now (she works in health care), so that's cool. She let me borrow her bread maker, so I'm going to try making a loaf of Italian bread with it. I've never used one before but she showed me how to do it and left the recipe/instruction booklet with me. I'm kind of nervous about doing it, I hope I don't mess it up. Plan on making the bread Tuesday or Wednesday.

I always worry my apartment isn't clean enough or messy, but she said it looks very nice and clean, so that's a relief to hear. Sometimes I struggle with motivation to clean but I try my best.

I'm watching The Queens Gambit on Netflix. It's really good. My therapist mentioned it last time we were talking so I decided to check it out, it's only a 7 episode show, so easy to binge watch.

I feel anxious tonight, I don't know why. Trying to cope with it though.

Have to go get bloodwork done tomorrow. My psychiatrist requested it. It's just routine, yearly bloodwork. Next time we talk we're going to discuss alternatives to metformin for appetite suppressant since I had to get off it due to it making my blood sugar drop too low.

Have fun with the bread maker! I had made hand made bread for years, then I tried someone's bread maker and it was so strange. It was really easy and worked so quickly. As I recall, it was foolproof to use.