[~Christina]

Quick check in ..

Yesterday we got a new puppy, out of the blue but meant to be!

He’s a Pom Chi mix . He’s soooo tiny.

Our other two dogs (both are probably 70 lbs) Sirius and Dexter are so in love with him too

We had a list of possible names that we finally got down to 2 ... Thor or Augustus, so coin toss and he’s Gus...

So Tapatalk ... but I have PM’s I can’t open .. So I’m not ignoring them I’ll hopefully get in later.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Quick check in ..

Yesterday we got a new puppy, out of the blue but meant to be!

He’s a Pom Chi mix . He’s soooo tiny.

Our other two dogs (both are probably 70 lbs) Sirius and Dexter are so in love with him too

We had a list of possible names that we finally got down to 2 ... Thor or Augustus, so coin toss and he’s Gus...

So Tapatalk ... but I have PM’s I can’t open .. So I’m not ignoring them I’ll hopefully get in later.

He's ADORABLE! We had a dog named Augustus/Gus when I was in high school. He was a great dog. I'm glad he found you; I know he'll be loved

[Moose72]

@~Christina

What a stinkin cute puppy! Those eyes! Enjoy him. :-)

[Nammu]

Awwwwww what a cute 🥰 pup.

[daladico]

@christina what a cutie!!!! 🥰🥰🥰

[Sunflower123]

We went out for gourmet cookies last night and drove around looking at Christmas lights. Today we got the house ready for Christmas and finally got the Christmas decorations up. Everything looks and feels so nice. She also helped me with some computer issues I was having. Oh the energy of youth. There’s a room in my house that is a mess and she’s whipping it into shape like there’s no tomorrow. We’ve ordered organizational items to make and keep it nice.

It’s been a wonderful visit. After Christmas we start advanced protocols. I’m sure we’ll still have fun. There’s so much left that I want to share with her. My anxiety has been acting up but it usually does around holidays. Actually looking forward to Christmas.

Hugs to those that are struggling.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I haven't had any nice euphoric hypomania this year either but i feel it's due to COVID. There's nothing to get excited about and no way to have any adventures. I got "boosts" in the Spring and Fall but they were brief. In the Spring i cleaned and in the Fall i cooked. Otherwise i've been mildly to moderately depressed. I really resonated with the words of @lightly toasted. Thirty years after diagnosis i'm still having mood swings. Ditto the yummy junk food and binge-watching and sleeping well. And with suicidality being infrequent instead of constant. We're really on the same page.

Tomorrow is my Scrabble club's Christmas party on ZOOM while we have our regular club night. I should go in the party because my days are dull but i'd have to take a shower and dress and i'm ashamed of how much weight i've gained since COVID. I hope i can make it. I'll for sure play the games, i just might not go in the party. I'm on a winning streak at Scrabble club. I've won all my games three weeks in a row.

Last night i was awake til 4:00am but i've been getting up later and later in the afternoon and resting part of the afternoon also so i'm getting hardly any daylight. This is about usual for this time of year. I dread Christmas and just focus on passing the time in as pleasant a way as possible. I had some fun games tonight in Scrabble. I just play the dumbest bots i can find, so i'm almost assured to win. I don't like losing. It's amusing to play this way, just the same.

Hugs to all who struggle!

I sure wish you'd attend the zoom party. I'm absolutely positive that the other people would much rather have you join in than stay away because of your self-consciousness. Besides that, many people are upset about having gained weight during covid. You're hardly alone.

[*Beth*]

Gus looks like he's going to grow into being a fine dog. He has a thoughtful expression. I'm so happy for all of you

[*Beth*]

My (so-called) husband was in one of his hysterias this morning when I called him. His life is a wreck because he has untreated OCD and hoarding issues. He spends his hours either beside himself with being upset about his life or nodding off to sleep because he's exhausted from anxiety that he refuses to treat.

It gets sooo tiresome for me, and triggering. He's way too much like my mother in the not-good ways. But I need a ride to the store, so I have to bite it. When I can drive again it will be like I'm in heaven.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Bugtussel

Welcome to Virginia! Enjoy your visit.

Thanks, @Bugtussel! We had a nice day. We visited the beach in Virginia Beach and had a nice lunch there at a restaurant called Waterman's Surfside Grille. I had Waterman's salad with blackened chicken. Yummy! Hubby and I both tried local microbrews that were tasty. We then went to First Landing State Park for a walk. We like swamp lands. You surely know, but for others reading this that was the very first place colonists landed in the New World, after which the settlement in Jamestown was created.

We've been on the road south again. Tonight we'll just stay in a cheap hotel along Rte 95 in North Carolina. Tomorrow on to Charleston, South Carolina for the Christmas holidays.

[Soupe du jour]

~Christina, adorable little fellow you have!

[Moose72]

N3 got an A in calculus! He got B's in his other two classes.

[Mountaindewed]

My Pdoc never called. I waited around all day. I finally gave up at 5 and I took a long shower. I used sleep lotion and drank herbal bedtime tea. People said not to use substances to help me fall asleep. They never said anything about herbal supplement tea. I never asked though. My case manager is really nice. I wouldn’t want her as a therapist though. I am just totally business with her and only talk about group related issues. Unlike my therapist who I told everything. I don’t actually miss my therapist today. Which is good. I’ve been told that even a change like that can be considered grieving. But I’m glad I have my case manager to discuss group with. I think I’m getting a sty in my eye. I’ve gotten them several times before sometimes pretty bad ones. This is like the worst time to get one. But tonight I feel better after taking a shower and I went to look at Christmas lights this evening. There seems to be a lot more than last year. I think more people are in the spirit.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I'm missing my family member who died last week. This is a tough time to be grieving. He always spent Christmas Eve with us. Tomorrow will be weird and sad.

I hope I fall asleep early and sleep all night (usually if I fall asleep early I wake for a few hours but last night I slept all night).

I'll be so glad when this weekend is over and there aren't additional reminders everywhere that I'm sad.

Two things made me mad today. First, a cable company barged into my home, insisting that a problem a neighbor was having was due my wiring. I haven't had cable service in two years! Luckily they just took five minutes and i took the opportunity to tell the Superintendent about work that has to be done around my place. He wants to barge in, he can darn well do something for me!

Then at Scrabble club the party was cancelled and we just played only we're using a new platform and my opponent was befuddled and kept me waiting for 45 minutes without a word of apology. The director just told me to "be patient." Well, 45 minutes is a long time to wait, with no idea of what was going on! It's always me that gets stuck waiting too for these yo-yos can't find the Enter key with two hands and a map. Sick of it!

I didn't need this grim day with the dreaded Christmas Eve tomorrow and then the dreaded Christmas Day. And then we're in lockdown again. FML.

[yellow_fleurs]

I am doing alright. I took the first gabapentin pill last night and I woke up without any irritability That was quicker than I expected. I did feel woozy and like I couldn't concentrate at all and maybe like I have pins and needles in my hands and feet, so we'll see if that improves. I don't know about increasing the dose to two pills. My just leave my doctor a message about that (instructions to increase to two pills if I tolerate the one). Tonight I took one pill again and it again knocked me out, but then I woke up at like midnight and I cannot go back to sleep. My mood got so bad by last night before I took the pill that I was losing my mind and crying and so irritable it was pretty bad.

I am glad my irritability is gone in time for the holiday because I want to talk to my family and I was wayy to irritable to handle talking to people before. So, this is an improvement.

Now I just need to keep my brain together to finish up my work projects in the next week. I also only applied to that one job and I am getting worried that I screwed up the second group interview. I just seriously was struggling and couldn't think clearly. Now I can't stop thinking about how badly I did and how it might have cost me the job. But I am trying to remind myself that it's not my fault my brain was messed up and I did my best. That's all I can do I guess. I am just stressed about being able to be stable at a job and all that.

Oh yeah and I found out my potassium and ferritin were low. My ferritin was only like 4 ng/mL (normal like 11 to 300 or something around there). Somehow I do not appear anemic though? I am waiting for my PCP to call to discuss. So, that could explain some of my fatigue. I wonder if improving my nutrition could improve my moods too.

Anyways I am rambling and not sure what I am even talking about so I am going to try to go to sleep. Hope everyone is well

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I'm missing my family member who died last week. This is a tough time to be grieving. He always spent Christmas Eve with us. Tomorrow will be weird and sad.

I hope I fall asleep early and sleep all night (usually if I fall asleep early I wake for a few hours but last night I slept all night).

I'll be so glad when this weekend is over and there aren't additional reminders everywhere that I'm sad.

Sending vibes for peace

[Soupe du jour]

I was happy to hear from my upcoming therapist in Czech Republic last night. I finally have my first actual appointment with her set and on my calendar for January 29. I think I will need to wait until after Hubby and I arrive in Czech Republic to secure a psychiatrist and general practitioner appointment. It'll happen.

We'll soon set out for Charleston, South Carolina. I'll be relieved when we get there because the hotel will be nice and I made nice dinner reservations for tonight and tomorrow night. We will at least sleep two nights in a row in the same room and the room should be many times nicer than the one last night. It's raining heavily, so the drive is slower than we hoped it would be.

[wildflowerchild25]

I am doing a little better today. Wrapped my son’s presents yesterday. Turns out I didn’t get him TOO much so that’s good. I still have to wrap RS’s surprise gift. We told each other exactly what to get for each other this year. I am receiving a beautiful new set of dishes and a penguin blanket. I bought him some random truck part that he directed me to on eBay. Don’t even know what it is but he asked for it so I delivered . But we each got a small surprise gift for each other. I got him a tee shirt and a bob Ross bobble head because he likes to watch bob Ross on YouTube when he’s really stressed. I also got him a gag gift.

If I’m up to it I plan to make some things today. I have pillsbury sugar cookie dough so that’s easy enough. Lemon cookies are easy too. I really want to make some polish cookies, kolaczki, but I’ve never made them before and I don’t have a rolling pin so we’ll see.

The reason for the polish cookies is that my cousin has been working on an ancestry project for my dad’s side of the family. My dad died when I was so young and we were never close with my nana so I didn’t know much about our history. Turns out my nana was first generation polish and my grandfather was first generation Czech. I remember my father making Czech food growing up, specifically roast pork with bamboraky, which is similar to a latke. I found a recipe for the flicky he used to make that I loved but reading it I can’t understand why I would have liked it, it sounds disgusting! Ham, egg noodles, eggs, butter, and milk/cream and nothing else! It sounds so bland. I can’t make it anyway because it would probably kill RS due to his lactose intolerance. But my mom reminded me of the knedlicky, which is a bread dumpling, and I am super excited about that. I remember eating those soaked in gravy and they were soooo delicious! I’m excited to try my hand at that. I also remember my nana made that she called footprint soup. Not sure if it was polish or not though. All I remember is it had some sort of pasta, which actually could have been a gnocchi of some sort, and I believe it had a beef broth.

There’s not much I like to remember about my childhood. I’ don’t appreciate anything about my mother at all. But my dad was a good man, and I would like that warm fuzzy feeling I would get from his cooking.

On another note, I seem to be really struggling with some dissociation recently. It’s just being physically intimate with RS, not even full intimacy but even just hugs/kisses/innocent cuddling. I just don’t feel like I’m really there. I want to, I seek comfort from him, but I just feel like it’s so far away. I don’t know what it’s about. It could be a lot of things. I brought it up with my therapist a couple of months ago but never revisited the topic. I’m not sure how to overcome it and reintegrate back into my body permanently.

Ah well. Hopefully I will be able to figure it out someday.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m doing pretty good today. I haven’t had any heavy food though. I had an English muffin, a packet of cup a soup, and an Atkins shake. So my stomach isn’t upset. My mom offered to buy me something to eat from Sonic but I said no. Nothing sounds very good. I’m getting a couple lobster tails for dinner from Outback. Even lobster sounds a bit iffy right now. I feel good mental health wise but every once in awhile I think about my move and my therapist and I get sad and then I have to bring myself back and focus on the positives of these situations and the positives in general. I’ve just been cleaning all day to get ready for Christmas with my sister and her family. They will be up tomorrow afternoon. I took a walk around the block this morning and it was about 12 degrees with a wind chill of negative 6. I felt like I was going to get frostbite even though I had a hat and my hood on. It was still a good walk.

[Moose72]

My friend Christine came over to deliver a present! She just handed it to me outside. It is a big box, relatively; I had to carry it in, and juggle it and open the door. I'm so happy- I have no idea what's in it. She said, "If you don't like it, we can exchange it". I bet I'll like it though!

@Mountaindewed, That's pretty cold! It's 28 here with "realfeel" of 11.

@wildflowerchild25 Do you think your reactions have to do with RS, or are they general reactions to intimacy?

@soup du jour Good luck at your appointment on the 29th and in finding pdoc and primary dr appointments.

@yellow_fleurs Definitely low iron can make you tired. I hope it's just a matter of a supplement.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I am doing a little better today. Wrapped my son’s presents yesterday. Turns out I didn’t get him TOO much so that’s good. I still have to wrap RS’s surprise gift. We told each other exactly what to get for each other this year. I am receiving a beautiful new set of dishes and a penguin blanket. I bought him some random truck part that he directed me to on eBay. Don’t even know what it is but he asked for it so I delivered . But we each got a small surprise gift for each other. I got him a tee shirt and a bob Ross bobble head because he likes to watch bob Ross on YouTube when he’s really stressed. I also got him a gag gift.

If I’m up to it I plan to make some things today. I have pillsbury sugar cookie dough so that’s easy enough. Lemon cookies are easy too. I really want to make some polish cookies, kolaczki, but I’ve never made them before and I don’t have a rolling pin so we’ll see.

The reason for the polish cookies is that my cousin has been working on an ancestry project for my dad’s side of the family. My dad died when I was so young and we were never close with my nana so I didn’t know much about our history. Turns out my nana was first generation polish and my grandfather was first generation Czech. I remember my father making Czech food growing up, specifically roast pork with bamboraky, which is similar to a latke. I found a recipe for the flicky he used to make that I loved but reading it I can’t understand why I would have liked it, it sounds disgusting! Ham, egg noodles, eggs, butter, and milk/cream and nothing else! It sounds so bland. I can’t make it anyway because it would probably kill RS due to his lactose intolerance. But my mom reminded me of the knedlicky, which is a bread dumpling, and I am super excited about that. I remember eating those soaked in gravy and they were soooo delicious! I’m excited to try my hand at that. I also remember my nana made that she called footprint soup. Not sure if it was polish or not though. All I remember is it had some sort of pasta, which actually could have been a gnocchi of some sort, and I believe it had a beef broth.

There’s not much I like to remember about my childhood. I’ don’t appreciate anything about my mother at all. But my dad was a good man, and I would like that warm fuzzy feeling I would get from his cooking.

On another note, I seem to be really struggling with some dissociation recently. It’s just being physically intimate with RS, not even full intimacy but even just hugs/kisses/innocent cuddling. I just don’t feel like I’m really there. I want to, I seek comfort from him, but I just feel like it’s so far away. I don’t know what it’s about. It could be a lot of things. I brought it up with my therapist a couple of months ago but never revisited the topic. I’m not sure how to overcome it and reintegrate back into my body permanently.

Ah well. Hopefully I will be able to figure it out someday.

All the food sounds fun!

I hope you'll revisit the dissociation with your therapist.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I’m doing pretty good today. I haven’t had any heavy food though. I had an English muffin, a packet of cup a soup, and an Atkins shake. So my stomach isn’t upset. My mom offered to buy me something to eat from Sonic but I said no. Nothing sounds very good. I’m getting a couple lobster tails for dinner from Outback. Even lobster sounds a bit iffy right now. I feel good mental health wise but every once in awhile I think about my move and my therapist and I get sad and then I have to bring myself back and focus on the positives of these situations and the positives in general. I’ve just been cleaning all day to get ready for Christmas with my sister and her family. They will be up tomorrow afternoon. I took a walk around the block this morning and it was about 12 degrees with a wind chill of negative 6. I felt like I was going to get frostbite even though I had a hat and my hood on. It was still a good walk.

Have you ever had your gall bladder checked out?

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Have you ever had your gall bladder checked out?

Not yet. I’ll have to wait until January because of the holidays. I keep hoping it will go away on its own.

[Mountaindewed]

A new flavor of Mountain Dew came out the other day and people are buying the entire stock that the store has. It drives me crazy when people do that. I’m not sure if those bots are involved. I hope they are somehow gotten rid of. The bots. Basically scalpers are now able to track stores inventory and take anything new that comes out and resell it. If it’s not scalpers doing it then how will these people know they will like it, and also this is a permanent flavor. So it’s not going away in 2 weeks like a couple other recent flavors did. I plan on buying one case and one 20oz bottle. I’ve found the new flavors to be not that good. I still have a lot of the Walmart exclusive, Halloween and Christmas stuff left.