[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I did three (3) loads of laundry! I knew i would get to it. The weekends seem to be days i want to procrastinate but Monday rolls around and i get right on the horse. I always know it's Laundry Day when the only thing i have left to wear is my casual and pretty Christmas dress! That's like how in university i used to know it was my friends Laundry Day when he would wear his tuxedo shirt!

I used a new brand of laundry detergent and it smells heavenly but my dog hates it, she is frantically rolling around on our bed trying to destroy the scent and transfer her own smell to it! But i loves it! Clean clothes, clean clothes!!!

My first night at 17mg Valium went just okay but i feel fine today, not tired, so i'm still hopeful about it.

@BethRags: I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so uncomfortable right now. I *do* think it was very brave and wise of you to email your therapist. It's hard to tell people that their behavior is a problem for you but since it's a pattern i think it was best to take action. Try not to be too hard on yourself about the Clonazepam. Tapering is a long process as you know and one little slip is not gonna make much of a difference. I know what you mean about childhood trauma bothering you. When i'm upset i start off being angry at the current incident but it often ends up going further and further into past hurts. I hope you feel better soon. Remember: This too shall pass.

That's funny, about your Christmas dress It's all I can manage to do 1 load of laundry nowadays. I sometimes think back to the days when I was raising a family, dragging 8 loads of laundry to the laundromat. HOW did I do it?! Guess I was young and had energy!

Thank you very much for your kindness. Honestly, the Klonopin has helped me calm down and think more clearly. It's too darn bad that benzos present so many problems, because they sure can be helpful.

[MuddyBoots]

Out of power. -26F windchill. Sucks, but this is not unusual so we know how to deal.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Out of power. -26F windchill. Sucks, but this is not unusual so we know how to deal.

Oh my, Sapien! I hope you have a bunch of warm blankets. Do you have a gas stove top? One great advantage of them is that they light manually, even without electricity...if one still has gas.

[Soupe du jour]

Our doorbell seems to ring at least two or three times per day because of frequent deliveries. Yesterday when it rang, Hubby went out and quickly came back telling me the foreign police were here. I went out and enthusiastically said "Good day! I'm XX." Apparently they sometimes come to see if foreigners seeking residency are actually living where they say they are. They also check to see that any marriage to a Czech is legit. Anyway, I had to run in and get my passport. I had already gone to the foreign police downtown for a stamp, then to the Ministry of Interior for a most formal-looking temporary visa (with photo) on one of my passport pages. They asked various questions, then it got chit chatty. The duo were not that typical-looking for police. The guy was short and looked like Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead. He was wearing a t-shirt that read "Detroit", and yet he had handcuffs. In any case, they left. I assume I'm safe.

We went to the new GP this morning. Another character. He didn't examine us. Just asked a few questions. I told him about waking up daily, for weeks, with tingling and/or numb hands or feet. He, like the others, said it wasn't because of my blood pressure medications. Then he said he'd give me something, but if it didn't work, he'd refer me to a neurologist. That word (neurologist) made me start to sweat profusely. Anyway, the "medication" he gave me was basically just high dose vitamin A. We'll see. If it works like a placebo, I'll be happy. And yet he said "You know, you want to take the fewest number of medications possible!" As if I didn't want that, too. I googled "Vitamin A for tingling numb hands feet" and what came up were deficiencies in other vitamins (mostly B), but not A. Well, if nothing else, maybe my eye health will improve?

The GP recommended a psychiatrist just across the street in a psychiatric clinic, that I had read about previously. Hubby had called her and she said to call back in mid March, after she gets a surgery. I think I might try her. That location is super convenient to our house. Just 8 minutes away by car. I'd be confident driving that alone. If that psychiatrist knows a therapist in that building (if there is) that speaks English, I might switch because of the distance.

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Oh my, Sapien! I hope you have a bunch of warm blankets. Do you have a gas stove top? One great advantage of them is that they light manually, even without electricity...if one still has gas.

No gas stove but we do have a wood stove. We have very little wood left though, but the winds are 50mph gusts and we have lots of trees around so it should be easy pickings.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Out of power. -26F windchill. Sucks, but this is not unusual so we know how to deal.

Oh, no! When will you see spring beginning?

[MuddyBoots]

Power came back already! It must've been a lot of people affected for them to get it so quickly, that was only 15 hours! It's still scarily windy so I'm prepped for the power to go out again.
I'm doing something really stupid tomorrow out of passion and boredom (skiing after a rain/freeze cycle on a mountain already infamous for being steep and icy). Wish me luck!
I'm feeling back to mostly stable. Kinda hypo at times (I hope I'm not sane enough to stay home tomorrow), but not in a super dangerous way. Plan on skipping my lithium tomorrow morning so on the drive up I don't vomit, **** my pants, or fall asleep. I know I'm going to be tempted to just stop it all together but I'm already telling the nurse next week I stopped my prazosin and seroquel (a while back) I feel like she'll slap the piss out of me if I tell her I stopped the lithium too
Just glad to have running water again, honestly. Unlimited toilet flushes are for sure taken for granted.

Oh, and Beth--we'll see spring probably around May but we will have snow in the state until late July.

[buddha1too]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Unlimited toilet flushes are for sure taken for granted.

Too funny! You're living the dream now!

[*Beth*]

My therapist has actually toodled into work today. I'll see her this afternoon and boy, do I want to talk with her.

In other news, we have another gorgeous spring day. Whew, this summer will be HOT. We're having such an early spring.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Sapien

....

Oh, and Beth--we'll see spring probably around May but we will have snow in the state until late July.

[Nammu]

We’re seeing wonderful weather here( Minnesota) it’s up to the 40F all this week and sunny 🌞. They just said it might get to 50’sF next Tuesday!!! This is awesome 😎

[Mountaindewed]

I’m doing good today. It seems like one day is bad and the next is good and then etc etc. Yesterday I think I had some type of bug because I didn’t eat or drink anything but water after 12PM. But today I was able to go to the bank. Which was a pain because I’m still legally female so all my stuff is in my original name but I look like a man so it just gets confusing for people. The bank had good news though. Then I went to World Market which I was not able to make to yesterday. I got some cool stuff. Then I went to the international market and then got a drink from KFC. My 1mil Xanax came in yesterday. My doctor called it right in with no questions asked. He screws stuff up so much. I haven’t taken it at all today. I think just knowing I have it makes me feel better.

I moved my appointment with my surgeon up to next Wednesday. It had been for April something. I don’t want to to get the revisions done while I’m at my new house because that would mean coming from 3 hours away and I don’t know how easy the drive back would be for me.

I feel more ok about going into surgery now. In January things were tough emotionally for me but I feel better now I think because of the new therapist. The transference thing with her was rough. Also my new one actually smiles and shows emotion and isn’t a blank slate robot. I swear the clinic tells all their employees to be like that.

[*Beth*]

Productive therapy session, if murderously painful. There are 2 entities in my home. I saged everything really well and later I will take a "sage bath" as suggested by my (Native) therapist.

[Sunflower123]

Yay! Starting next week, my brother and I are eligible for vaccination. There will be tremendous demand but I am one determined lady. Between mom’s first and second doses I made over 400 calls. Fortunately there is a website now for sign ups. This will allow me to attend a family function and my annual two week vacation later in the year. I’m really happy about this news.

I am so annoyed and triggered right now.

I just saw the name of my

Possible trigger:

dead brother on some paperwork

when are people going to learn that he is dead and writing his name isn't going to change that fact.

ugg!

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Yay! Starting next week, my brother and I are eligible for vaccination. There will be tremendous demand but I am one determined lady. Between mom’s first and second doses I made over 400 calls. Fortunately there is a website now for sign ups. This will allow me to attend a family function and my annual two week vacation later in the year. I’m really happy about this news.

I admire your determination and even excitement about the vaccinations. I think they are so important and am feeling a little jealous that mine will likely not be for a long time yet. The country I'm in seems to be vaccinating a lot slower than the US is now. Kudos to the US for finally starting to step up on this! My dad luckily got his second of two a few weeks ago because he lives in assisted living.

I'm wishing you an outstanding and exciting vacation later this year! You deserve it. We all really do.

[Soupe du jour]

I did some cleaning today after Hubby said that our landlady will come tomorrow morning. It looks fine. I'm also happy that Hubby is finally dealing with some of the electronics wires that have been tangled up together in a mess. There is so much dust all of the time, not just because of continuing moving-related tasks, but because it seems dusty everywhere in this area. The roads themselves are so dirty, and cars are filthier than any I used to see in the US. Not sure where all the dirt comes from. Also, most all of our floors are tile, wood, or wood laminate. They flat out look dusty faster than carpeting, even though we have put down area rugs all over the place.

In Czech Republic now, the pandemic is still so bad that they forbid people from leaving their town/city limits, unless they have some proof of employment in another town. Or, if there is an urgent need to leave the town limits (doctor's appointment, maybe groceries). We saw cops stopping cars coming into our area from the highway. In the cases of small towns, people are feeling a bit imprisoned. It sucks! It's good we went to Prague last week, because we are not permitted to go there now.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Productive therapy session, if murderously painful. There are 2 entities in my home. I saged everything really well and later I will take a "sage bath" as suggested by my (Native) therapist.

how do you know that you have 2 entities in your house??????

we have had ghosts in the house 5 years apart. it is coming upon the 5 year mark so am keeping an eye on things.
bizi

[Mountaindewed]

I went grocery shopping this morning. I also had to go to the thrift store to return the thing I bought but I was dreading going back again after the frustrating trip on Friday. But I went in and someone had donated quite a few pairs of Vans shoes. In my size which is unusual. I got a red and white checkerboard pair and then a pair of brown suede/faux leather high tops. I also found a few pairs of shorts. With the return I paid $32. So yeah it did work out going in this time. Usually when I want to go in I don’t find anything and when I really don’t want to go in I find loads of stuff. My anxiety wasn’t too bad in the store. I did take a mil of Xanax before heading out. Today my anxiety is kinda crappy in general but I’m still not where I was on Monday. My moods are ok.

My former therapist is still haunting me a bit. I saw a truck yesterday, and a truck today with her name on the side. 2 companies I’ve never heard of or seen around. It’s like what Patrick said in an episode of SpongeBob “you have to stop living in the past because your only hurting yourself.”

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Yay! Starting next week, my brother and I are eligible for vaccination. There will be tremendous demand but I am one determined lady. Between mom’s first and second doses I made over 400 calls. Fortunately there is a website now for sign ups. This will allow me to attend a family function and my annual two week vacation later in the year. I’m really happy about this news.

That is GREAT, Jennifer! You're so lucky. I'm still waiting for the go-ahead on my vaccine. I'm calling my clinic today to find out what the status for my age group is.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bizi

how do you know that you have 2 entities in your house??????

we have had ghosts in the house 5 years apart. it is coming upon the 5 year mark so am keeping an eye on things.
bizi

I just feel them. It's either my paranoia acting up, or there are (were) 2 negative energies in my apartment. I knew who one was; the other has been bothering me for a long time. I don't know who it is.

Whatever the case, I did a heavy saging and some prayers. The entities are gone now, at least for the time being (hopefully permanently, though).

If your ghosts are bothering you, try saging. It's a method used for 100's of years by Native Americans to cleanse and purify the environment. A sage bath is when you sage yourself, starting with the soles of your feet and all around your body up to the top of your head. Warning - it gets smoky! But believe me, there is something about saging that is very special.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

....someone had donated quite a few pairs of Vans shoes. In my size which is unusual. I got a red and white checkerboard pair and then a pair of brown suede/faux leather high tops. ...

You totally scored!!

[bizi]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I just feel them. It's either my paranoia acting up, or there are (were) 2 negative energies in my apartment. I knew who one was; the other has been bothering me for a long time. I don't know who it is.

Whatever the case, I did a heavy saging and some prayers. The entities are gone now, at least for the time being (hopefully permanently, though).

If your ghosts are bothering you, try saging. It's a method used for 100's of years by Native Americans to cleanse and purify the environment. A sage bath is when you sage yourself, starting with the soles of your feet and all around your body up to the top of your head. Warning - it gets smoky! But believe me, there is something about saging that is very special.

yes we saged the house and the entity left.both times.Jeff did not believe in ghosts but could not explain the stuff that was happening.
bizi

[*Beth*]

"Shouldn't be too long" before I get my vaccine. The clinic director put me on a cancellation list, too.

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m feeling really jittery today. It started yesterday toward the end of work. Today it’s been becoming steadily more apparent. It just took me 2.5 hours to write ten coordinate adjective sentences for minute to win it assignments. For middle schoolers, so not like super complicated sentences. I just can’t concentrate at all.

I feel like I’m struggling to keep my composure like I’m about to “pop off” in the words of my students. I got really ****ing pissed off at all my coworkers did talking about mental illness that they clearly know nothing about personally living it. What they know is from working with mentally ill children and sometimes adults, in the case of the few that have come over from working at the psych hospital. I couldn’t jump in without betraying myself.

I wanna like walk around the block a few times but I don’t know if I’ll have time after my eye appointment. But I can use packing as an outlet for my negative energy so at least there’s that. I managed to drive home like a normal person instead of an asshole so that’s good.

I think it’s just temporary, tends to happen when spring sets in and the sun comes back out. Didn’t happen last year because of the concurrent collapse of society as we know it. That plus the move, I’ve just got a lot of stress which tends to throw me off. I’m sure it’ll even out in a few days.