Relationships

Hey guys,

Been thinking about what my Theraoist was saying the other day. Can I ask is it a bipolar trait I have or a random weird could lead to danger issue I have here it goes... please don't judge me

I have been know to get too attached to people. I can feel it in me and I will try and distance myself from that person(s) if I feel its getting to intense. However sometimes I can't and sometimes I get emotionally too involved. I get emotional when leaving that person, I think of that person constantly, I imagine they are in my life, I try to be with them all the time, I wish I could draw so I had a pic of them forever

Then there is the extreme case I have had where I stalked a woman for an afternoon so it's not a constant thing etc but it's f'ing crazy right? I've never done it again but sometimes I get urges to do it. But haven't acted on them. I mean I get anxiety and paranoia re this same bloody thing yet I'm doing it??? Go figure

So.... is it a bipolar trait, an ocd trait OR a me trait???

I will share more things just don't want to bombard you all

I think I understand what you’re saying. When I was younger, I went through similar feelings of attachment. I think I was looking for a mother figure and was desperate to have an emotionally intimate relationship. Sometimes, even strangers gave off a vibe that attracted me to them and it freaked me out.

I’ve never stalked someone, but I’ve googled them online.

I’m 50 now, and I don’t have these feelings very often anymore. I sometimes have the feeling that I love my pdoc (as a sister).

I’m not sure what it is. I have a history of childhood trauma and I did not get my needs met by my parents. I feel like that’s part of it. I have ocd and that may contribute.

As far as I know this is not a bipolar feature. It sounds to me more like an attachment issue, maybe an anxious/dependent attachment "style" as they call it. Like busymomof5 said, it could be related to childhood trauma.

I don't think I have had childhood trauma... my therapist thinks it's part of my personality in regards to bipolar.

I will cry if someone I attach to if you like leaves ie workers of any sort in the mental health world. I try to not do it in front of them. I do it after my appt with them. I will be in a depression if you like for a week then it's still on my mind for a long time after that.

I followed my Dramatherapist all the way to the train station where I had to leave her. I was heart broken. I stalk people online all the time too.

It's like a death to me. It's like I'm grieving. It's like I'll never get over it (even though I know I can and will).

I worry its gonna get worse.... I just want to be able to say goodbye to people without getting emotional.

I worry when my time ends with my Therapist etc will I survive this I don't know?

I agree that what you're describing sounds like an attachment issue. I feel bad for you; it sounds emotionally painful.

I think I have experienced a milder version of this sort of attachment when I was younger. I had a hard time getting over a relationship that ended abruptly without closure once, and found myself looking them up too much online or hoping I would run into them. I still get a little extra sad at saying bye, but I have sort of improved in that sense over time. Like, I was sad to move and say bye to my therapist and pdoc, but I feel like I will be okay and am moving forward. For me, I think it was a bit of an attachment issue mixed with my tendency to obsess and ruminate anyway, making it harder to move on. It does seem like a good topic for you to discuss with your therapist (it sounds like you are). Self awareness and cutting myself off from the rumination helps me. I also think realizing what place I wanted that person to fill in my life that might feel empty, perhaps as a result of things from my past, helped. Like, is it really about them? Or is it about this loneliness I have felt that I am trying to fix? Can I get those needs met in a different way? That sort of thing. It's tough, but I think it is possible to learn to manage it.

I agree that you might want to read up on attachment styles, definitely something you can work on with your therapist if you'd like. I hope it's something she's willing to help you out with

I’d say it’s likely to be an attachment issue as well, at least in part - I have stalked people I’ve had crushes on before, and I have attachment issues/possibly also unmet childhood needs. I know it’s a terrible thing to do now, thinking about it mortifies me but wasn’t thinking of their feelings at the time. I understand why you’re nervous about being judged for it, but it is good that you’re asking why you do it and seeking to understand yourself better.

I look people up on Google but I also look up actors and actresses too and learn as much as I can about them and their characters.

There is a TV show here in UK and its a soap opera I don't really watch it but I still know all the characters to a particular family.... no idea why though tbh.

I've had to stop looking up certain people in case they get suspicious.

If I'm leaving friends inside I get sad it's like the fun is over. They would never know this as its purely on the inside I fake it on the outside.

It is the same with my mental health team if I had a good session I don't want it to end so I try to drag it out even though I can't most of the time unfortunately.

I think we are discussing this in therapy on Monday. The erm weirdness of me. My therapist was saying its all connected to SELF WORTH. There is so much work to do, I don't know if I can do it though.

I don't think it's necessarily strange to look people up online. Most people do that, including me. I also think it's normal to be sad when a relationship ends, including a therapeutic relationship. I would be, too. Physically stalking people, though, that's going a little far. And if the emotions are so intense that it becomes problematic, that's an indicator that it might be something to work on.

So Sorry that you're struggling. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters that it seems more like an attachment issue. i can relate since i often clinge to people i care about as Well or even people that i don't really know to the point of looking them up online. Things are slightly better now, although i am not sure what has changed. Hopefully talking about this with your therapist will give you some guidance but please don't be hard on yourself. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Miss Laura, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

So I don't forget things I write lists of people I have been drawn too. I wrote things about them that I know. If I could draw my life would be better as I know what they all look like but I worry ill forget this in time.

I worry people think I'm a randomer though and talking about it has been good but equally a lot of anxiety provoking.

Stressing a bit about Monday an hour is not long enough to talk sometimes. I don't have specific things I just have a lot of thoughts I guess.