Bipolar check-in #56

I hope tomorrow is a much better day for you

The pandemic is becoming a major ball and chain for my husband and me. Even though the area we live in is pleasant in many ways, Hubby is not that happy here. It's hard for me to be happy, too, because everything is stalled. Under normal circumstances, we'd be thinking about next steps. It was our initial understanding that my husband's best friend would have work for my husband in the area we're living. However, the future of that seems grim as the friend is basically disabled by the psychosis he's experiencing from covid-19. If we had known this would happen, we would have picked a different area, much closer to my husband's friends and family in/near Prague. We would have also liked to start exploring France even more, but that can't happen either, because of covid-19. Let's get this stupid pandemic over with already! I'm eager to get the darned vaccine already and hope everyone else will, too. I can't express how people not getting the vaccine only makes life harder for everyone. Supposedly, people like me and Hubby who aren't yet in the insurance system can get appointments for the vaccine sometime in June.

Another hassle we're dealing with is getting our mail from the US. My husband's friend was getting it for us since he lives in our old area in the US. Since that friend also regularly came to Czech Republic, monthly, he was bringing it. As he has been ill with psychosis for so long, we've been unable to get it. We're not blaming him. Of course not. But that still creates a difficulty for us. My husband has asked another friend to get it and send it, priority, to us. My sister has already mailed stuff to us from another source. "Priority" seems to be extraordinarily slow, unlike in the past. I can't help but think the current USPS head, and his cronies, are mostly to blame. She mailed it one and a half weeks ago and it still hasn't arrived. One time we even had mail sent by UPS (United Parcel Service) but that cost almost $200. That reached us in three days only. That's not affordable to do more than once, or max twice. In contrast, USPS Priority costs about $35. If/when we finally get it, it will be received as slowly as regular Air Mail letters, way back when. In fact, I think the Air Mail birthday card my sister sent me reached us faster.

I’m sorry you are experiencing difficulties. I hope time passes quickly and you get the vaccine and you get your mail source straightened out in a smooth manner.

You are such a sweetheart! I hope you are well and enjoying that precious puppy.

Take good care of yourself as well.

Sending good thoughts, supportive vibes and hugs. I hope you feel better soon.

After being in the ER all night, they are admitting my brother for a few days. He’s in good hands and Mom is in good hands to. Meanwhile, this has been such a break for me. It’s a load off my shoulders. I don’t wish this on my brother. Having said that, I need to find ways to feel this stress free more often.

Hugs to all!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed But after 7 months my scars still haven’t healed and they are very visible...

@Mountaindewed and all:

I have

Possible trigger:

scars on my arms due to a suicide attempt

22 years ago. They are quite upsetting.

I asked my doctor what can be done about them and he said nothing tho tattooing was an option to obscure them but only the surrounding healthy skin can be tattooed, the keloid tissue of the scars themselves can't take take the tattoo ink. Scars will never heal tho they get lighter. I'm really pale so mine have faded a lot these 22 years but i still only wear long sleeves in public.

I think tattooing would just make them MORE conspicuous tho and besides it hurts and would re-awaken the original trauma of that terrible time so i just go au naturale. It's not hard to wear long-sleeves all the time. I heard some tattoo artists will work for free to obscure self-harm scars, but tattoos are just not me. I'm a soap-and-water girl.

When i go swimming i just feel if others don't like it, they can lump it!

Sorry i don't have better news for you. I tried an OTC product once called "Scar Pads" but they did nothing but ding my wallet. A waste of money and not available in Canada so an American guy here on the forum bought them for me and mailed them to me.

Nice guy!

Have a beautiful day!

Jane.

P.S.: Sorry for the giant text, i was fooling around with options and i guess once a message is written in one size and posted it can't be changed. I went back to the defaults the so future posts will be normal size. SNAFU!!!

Hi everyone! I'm new around here. In the new member thread, it was suggested I come over here.
I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 about a month ago - had my first manic episode, likely induced by taking Lexapro... which has lead into the depressive state, which I'm still clawing out from.
I am still taking the Lexapro and I'm on Lamictal, slowly tappering up. I'm wondering if the Lamictal is causing some crying bouts or if it's just the nature of being in this depressive state.
Anyway, I really look forward to chat with everyone!

Hi Jennifer. Sending well wishes for your brother. I hope the doctors can help his kidneys work much better, quickly.

I thought you were going for a "Jane the Giant" look!

Welcome to the boards, @peachiee23! It's always nice to have new folks, but I'm sorry your arrival comes on the heels of an episode & definitive diagnosis. I hope you get your meds right soon so you don't struggle too much with bipolar disorder.

Since it's a mood stabilizer, it would surprise me if Lamictal is causing your crying bouts. Clinically, it should even out your moods. Lamictal never caused me much grief, at least. If you're in a depressive episode, your mood probably has more to do with the crying spells than the meds. But I'm no doctor...I just stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Quote:

Originally Posted by peachiee23 Hi everyone! I'm new around here. In the new member thread, it was suggested I come over here. I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 about a month ago - had my first manic episode, likely induced by taking Lexapro... which has lead into the depressive state, which I'm still clawing out from. I am still taking the Lexapro and I'm on Lamictal, slowly tappering up. I'm wondering if the Lamictal is causing some crying bouts or if it's just the nature of being in this depressive state. Anyway, I really look forward to chat with everyone!

Hi peachiee! The depressive state is...miserable. I have never experienced crying episodes due to Lamictal. I'm guessing that your crying spells are more due to the depression.

Hi peachiee nice to see you made the hop over.

Welcome peachiee!!! I hope you find the forums as helpful and supportive as I have. Sorry you're in a low. I agree with the others that the depression is probably causing the crying as opposed to the lamictal. I hope you find some relief soon

My mom is in the hospital...I guess I’m feeling relief because she’s for sure getting the care she needs. Also I sent flowers and that feels like doing something. A week ago I was overwhelmed by my visit home and getting back into my normal routines is helping. Also I ordered some stuff for silk painting so both retail therapy and art therapy.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Mum has started a cleaning streak. She is emptying a large closet and pulling things out. The whole house is cluttered up with this stuff. I used to be into ceramics and some of the big pieces one is a watering can that she put flowers in, it looks nice. Another is made to look like a rope bag. It’s my favorite piece but what to do with them? Mum wants to sell the house and move to a townhouse or apartment. I can get behind that cause man, never realized what work a house is and with my back it’s hard. I have all my stuff in the basement too. And a few more bigger piece of ceramic art.

I went with my mom to her attorneys because she wanted to make a will and a trust and whatever. It was uncomfortable hearing the words “when you pass” and “if you get temporally sick”. But my mom knows what she’s doing and I trust my sister and I know she won’t like take advantage or anything like that when my mom dies. The attorney was alright. My mom got me involved because the attorney needed my full legal name and then that got talking about the other stuff and my mom then asked how to change my name and stuff. The attorney was friendly and accepting although pretty clueless. Before she knew anything I used the men’s bathroom without an issue. The place was empty anyways. I thought it would be funny if I got busted in an attorneys office.

After that I went to the Vitamin Shoppe to get some protein powder. I’m glad the guy took me seriously because I’ve had issues before where your not “their” type so they don’t pay any attention to you. Has anyone else had that issue with going into certain stores? Anyways he helped me figure out the best thing that I was looking for. It’s Cinnamon Toast Crunch flavored. He said it will work for weight loss and also muscle gain. I had some for lunch and it’s pretty good.

I bought this like pull up chin up stand up thing yesterday from Amazon. I wanted just a doorway one but my mom said they can wreck the doors. I hope it’s worth the $100 I spent on it and that it’s sturdy.

My mom said my aunt could meet us for dinner the night before my surgery at a restaurant near the hotel. I don’t know about anyone else but that doesn’t sound very good. I think I’d be too nervous to actually eat. I do want to see my aunt though. I was going to go to a concert though before my first surgery. But I had to quarantine for 3 days. I’m still kinda annoyed about missing that concert. Now since it’s a rapid Covid test I don’t think I’ll have to quarantine. But I kind of just want to hang out in the hotel the night before. But is it just avoiding my anxiety by staying inside instead of going out to eat. I’m having a hard time figuring out what’s reasonable anxiety and what’s irrational.

Well the flower box is full. Got what I wanted, Golden marigolds and red geraniums, plus a different reddish 🌺 🌸 🌹 thing. They only had a couple of those so I thought they must be popular and got a couple. Looks nice but I should have gotten 5 geraniums not 3. I always forget how big the flower box is. I like the contrast between the bright colors.

It’s a perfect day for doing this. Sunny and mild, 66 today. The next couple of days are cool and rainy so it should be good for the flowers to recouperate. At least now I now why I get winded so fast, it’s part of the low iron. So in a couple weeks I should be doing better that way. I didn’t have thrush but I did have a fungal thing. So I’m taking these tablets 5 times a day for that. It requires that I set my alarm for 6am. But this morning I got to turn it off at 5 as I couldn’t sleep. Should sleep good tonight.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Well the flower box is full. Got what I wanted, Golden marigolds and red geraniums, plus a different reddish 🌺 🌸 🌹 thing. They only had a couple of those so I thought they must be popular and got a couple. Looks nice but I should have gotten 5 geraniums not 3. I always forget how big the flower box is. I like the contrast between the bright colors. It’s a perfect day for doing this. Sunny and mild, 66 today. The next couple of days are cool and rainy so it should be good for the flowers to recouperate. At least now I now why I get winded so fast, it’s part of the low iron. So in a couple weeks I should be doing better that way. I didn’t have thrush but I did have a fungal thing. So I’m taking these tablets 5 times a day for that. It requires that I set my alarm for 6am. But this morning I got to turn it off at 5 as I couldn’t sleep. Should sleep good tonight.

The flowers sound beautiful, Nammu.

I'm coming apart. My cat is still vomiting many times every day. He has to be seen again tomorrow. He's only 3. My husband is angry because we have no more money for vet payment. All I can do is ask them to hold a check. He says that sometimes pets have to be put down and I have to accept that. I told him that there could be medication that may help London. I'm so frightened, I've never been so afraid. I have no one to support me through this. I called my therapist, but she's out today. I emailed her, but what good does that do? She told me to call her if he was still sick, but she's not even there. What do you do when you're so terrified and anxious that every minute seems like an hour. I don't know what to do.

I just had my pre surgery registration phone call. They just asked for my meds, medical history etc. the only weird question was if I have a large neck and what size I am. As I have said my shoulders don’t match my hips so button shirts don’t fit very well on me. But I often opt for a large when I’m a small in everything else. She said it’s an hour long surgery. The only thing that freaks me out is I’ll be under general anesthesia again. And the last time they intubated me and a tube down my throat is a bit freaky. Man am I glad I didn’t get Covid. They didn’t say anything about quarantine. So I guess I can go out to dinner the night before if I’m up to it. The nurse said staying in a hotel was a great idea and I’ll get my pain meds at a pharmacy close to the hotel. So based on that I expect to be in a good amount of pain. Hopefully the pain meds make me loopy so I won’t remember my cousins baby shower that Saturday.

But my mom bought the table she was thinking of getting. My sister and brother inlaw said it was great and a steal. I don’t really think $800 for a used table is necessarily a steal, but the table is really nice. They will pick it up on Friday and drop it off at our house that night. They have some errands to run Friday morning so my nephews will be at my house all day. I have a therapy appointment late Friday afternoon. Which I feel like is a weird time to do therapy. But then my mom is going to fix a nice dinner once the table gets to my house.

So yeah I’m nervous but excited.

I'm sorry your cat isn't doing so well. I hope the vet can provide an optimistic prognosis for him. As a fellow cat-owner, I understand how hard it can be when they're sick. Sending hugs

My day was okay, depression stayed pretty mild. We got some t-storms so that was nice. Got pretty close to a deer in this area in town I call the enchanted forest, and I found a spider I can't identify but it was very cool looking (definitely not a black widow or brown recluse so probably safe).

Thinking of you BethRags. I hope tomorrow goes well and you find an easy answer.