[Lizzie1813]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I have one of my famous stomach aches

not enough food, again

and the little I had didn't agree with me.

it's like I said before: digestive system is ****ed

weather forcast calls for storms today, but so far, so good. no clouds in the sky and not really any sign of a storm

maybe later..

I’m sorry you aren’t feeling well. I hope you’re able to eat and keep it down soon.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

My T told me over 10 years ago when my life literally imploded .. which is why I was seeing him weekly.. I cried and cried for numerous sessions and one day he reached over and put his hand on my arm and said its time to " Float" " Just float don't try to over analyze and obsess about things that right now you have zero control over"

Honestly I thought he was out of his mind, I'm a mess and he is not telling me how to manage things??? any kind of coping skill???? He didn't tell me that things would eventually work out???

That night I had been thinking hard about him telling me to float all damn day.. The only entry in my journal that night was " Float"

Sometimes we are fighting so hard to swim upstream against the current that nothing we are doing is helping, We are mentally and physically exhausted. So maybe throw your hands up and know that things are going to change. Maybe not when you want them too ( like right now) but things will.

You have been beating yourself up for long enough. Try and float give your mind a break, Just breath

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I didn't eat well yesterday, and once again, the food isn't agreeing with me (not the first time, and it certainly won't be the last)

I found out today that bipolar UK have a weekly service where they call people once a week (people who are isolated or vunnerable), so I'm going to call them this week to see if I can sign up. honestly it would be nice to talk to someone who gets it- and I've had good experiences with them when they did their mentoring service so I trust them on their word.

I only just saw this, I hope they are helpful

[*Beth*]

[QUOTE=wildflowerchild25;7099756]...
Today it was actually in the low 80s for the first time in weeks so we took advantage and went to a historic village about an hour south of us. It was very cool. Original buildings that had been restored and preserved, some you could even walk into and tour quickly. I love stuff like that. ...[QUOTE]

That sounds like such fun!

[Fuzzybear]

I've been deleting some old PMs (box almost full)

From a good friend...

''The egos that attend the event are not worthy. We have the right to be accepted AS IS''

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Good morning, all.

I'm likely quitting my job this week. I've already dropped off my CV at a grocer's and had a brief interview but I need to let my boss know I'm leaving. This will not be easy as they have nobody to replace me. It's just so much pressure I can't handle it.

Daonnachd!! So good to see you! Are you applying for a specific department or position at the grocery store?

I keep finding myself about 4 pages behind here(!) I have been quite busy though. OT at work. "Weekends" fly by in keeping up with everything else (grocery shopping, appointments, etc).

My finger's healing up pretty well I guess. Had to alter the way I do a few things to avoid using it. That's gone quite well though. Supposed to get the stitches out on the next few days (which is probably to say tomorrow, since after that I'll be back into the work week. Eek. Not really looking forward to that(!)

Many hugs! Will try to keep up better, but that may not be realistic...

[Mountaindewed]

Fuuuuuuck. This day is just plain ****.

My therapist was super nice today as soon as I walked in. I thought to myself “she’s gonna work out just fine.” Then I tell her about my eating stuff and more about the trans stuff. And she says “I don’t have experience with eating disorders and the trans thing is a bit more complicated then I realized. So maybe I should refer you to someone who could help you better.” And I didn’t get pissed off angry but I got annoyed. I said at my last place I was originally going to work with a guy 2 years older then me which I thought was going to be great. But he said I needed a different level of care because he was not qualified to work with me because of my autism. So I got switched to transference T who’s main thing was autism. Then she said that if I had stayed with her and hadn’t moved she would have had to switch me to someone who specializes in eating disorders.

So I was getting quite annoyed that this is happening once again. Because I really liked this new therapist. She said she could really only help me with the anxiety and depression part of my issues. So she gave me the name and some paperwork of some other person who she used to with work who works with trans autistic and ED people and also people with chronic health issues. And I’m just like “whatever” I am so mother ****ing tired of being shuffled from person to person. Especially when I feel like this person will work out. My current therapist told me she’ll continue to work with me if I need to be on a waiting list for this new one. But she highly highly recommends this therapist.

I am just plain exhausted from this therapy game. It feels like I’m just being handed from person to person. I’ll call that new lady when my mom gets back from the store

Also Mountain Dew came out with an online only flavor and I tried 6 times to order it, put in a few different addresses. It wouldn’t take my info and now it’s out of stock. The people who buy these types of limited edition products don’t even want to drink them. They just want to put it on eBay for hundreds of $.

I am just so so drained right now I can’t even comprehend anything.

[Victoria'smom]

@Brokenheartedmom My sisters don't get along because one's in treatment and the other isn't and the stuff between them in the past. They're civil for my parents for short times but avoid each other at all costs. My husband and his brother don't talk because his brother doesn't understand and thinks we gamed the system. Even feels my son's school success is due to our income limits. So they talk about 1x a year. They haven't been in the same room for years. There just different people and that's okay. I would demand being nice when interacting but not make them interact.

@Mountaindewed I am so sorry, I know how it feels to be passed from 1 T to another and another. My T before my last T wanted me to see the director of the center. Maybe you can write down all your Dx's and descriptors and appeal to the director to find you a therapist willing to work with you. I know it's hard but when you find that one that truely is willing to work with all your issues it is great. I would ask the director to go through your file and hand pick someone for you.

[Lizzie1813]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Fuuuuuuck. This day is just plain ****.

My therapist was super nice today as soon as I walked in. I thought to myself “she’s gonna work out just fine.” Then I tell her about my eating stuff and more about the trans stuff. And she says “I don’t have experience with eating disorders and the trans thing is a bit more complicated then I realized. So maybe I should refer you to someone who could help you better.” And I didn’t get pissed off angry but I got annoyed. I said at my last place I was originally going to work with a guy 2 years older then me which I thought was going to be great. But he said I needed a different level of care because he was not qualified to work with me because of my autism. So I got switched to transference T who’s main thing was autism. Then she said that if I had stayed with her and hadn’t moved she would have had to switch me to someone who specializes in eating disorders.

So I was getting quite annoyed that this is happening once again. Because I really liked this new therapist. She said she could really only help me with the anxiety and depression part of my issues. So she gave me the name and some paperwork of some other person who she used to with work who works with trans autistic and ED people and also people with chronic health issues. And I’m just like “whatever” I am so mother ****ing tired of being shuffled from person to person. Especially when I feel like this person will work out. My current therapist told me she’ll continue to work with me if I need to be on a waiting list for this new one. But she highly highly recommends this therapist.

I am just plain exhausted from this therapy game. It feels like I’m just being handed from person to person. I’ll call that new lady when my mom gets back from the store

Also Mountain Dew came out with an online only flavor and I tried 6 times to order it, put in a few different addresses. It wouldn’t take my info and now it’s out of stock. The people who buy these types of limited edition products don’t even want to drink them. They just want to put it on eBay for hundreds of $.

I am just so so drained right now I can’t even comprehend anything.

I’m sorry you aren’t receiving the care that you need and deserve. It shouldn’t be so hard to get help. I hope your current therapist’s referral to a new person proves to be just what you need. Everyone deserves help, support, and understanding. I hope you get all of that soon.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m on a waiting list. There’s 3 people ahead of me. So I don’t know what that means as in when I’ll actually be seeing her. But I looked at her online profile and she checks off all the boxes of stuff I have issues with.

I’m just worried about continuing to work with the one I’m currently working with and then having an incredibly hard time switching over because we have developed this client therapist strictly therapy relationship. Being done with transference T and never seeing her again still ****s with me mentally sometimes. Now I’m worried it’s gonna happen again. And that was brutal switching especially since I switched to an unprofessional therapist. It really affected my mental health for a long time.

I’m just worried about it happening again and having another 4 months of feeling miserable.

But my mom agrees with my T and my mom doesn’t think it’s worth it to work with someone who’s not qualified to help me with the issues I’m having.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Brokenheartedmom

I’m new here. I have a 22 year old daughter with bipolar. She has so many of our family members who no longer have anything to do with her because of her illness. My son visited me and basically acted as if she doesn’t exist. I am furious with him and broken hearted for her. I had an argument with him because of the way he acted towards her and now I am so disappointed in him that I don’t want to talk to him. I feel like I need to protect her and I am doing al I can for her. Has anyone experienced anything similar?

Welcome to the forum. Is your daughter in treatment? It sounds like she's scared your son and he's reacting with fear. Too many people believe that BD is a choice. It's not. People with BD actually have a different brain structure.

[Mountaindewed]

I have another UTI or maybe the other one from the other week just didn’t totally clear up. But the stick was normal the other day. Now it’s purple. This one is making me feel really sick though. I’m going to the bathroom nonstop. But it looks like I’m just peeing out a lot of water but I’m exhausted and very nauseated and my zofran isn’t helping even though it always has before. I have chills but no fever. It could just be mostly anxiety. I was told I have health anxiety. Like I didn’t already know that.

[xRavenx]

My anxiety with possible hypomanic symptoms have been worse than they have been in a long time. I went home from work 3 hours early for mental health symptoms since it became impossible to concentrate. I pace and pace and pace. There is nothing that can slow me down. Sometimes I respond to someone giving me reassurance that everything is ok, but it is temporary. I can't stop until something gives me some relief. Klonopin has stopped working, because I am so sped up. I do get some sleep with Seroquel, but then the reset button hits, and my symptoms flare right back up the next day. I can't go on feeling this way. I almost got into a car accident today, because I was so distracted. Now I'm just crying, because I can't get a hold of myself and feel shame that I had to leave work. I should have just stuck it out a few hours, but I couldn't.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by xRavenx

My anxiety with possible hypomanic symptoms have been worse than they have been in a long time. I went home from work 3 hours early for mental health symptoms since it became impossible to concentrate. I pace and pace and pace. There is nothing that can slow me down. Sometimes I respond to someone giving me reassurance that everything is ok, but it is temporary. I can't stop until something gives me some relief. Klonopin has stopped working, because I am so sped up. I do get some sleep with Seroquel, but then the reset button hits, and my symptoms flare right back up the next day. I can't go on feeling this way. I almost got into a car accident today, because I was so distracted. Now I'm just crying, because I can't get a hold of myself and feel shame that I had to leave work. I should have just stuck it out a few hours, but I couldn't.

It sounds like you're in a dangerous place. Can you get in touch with your pdoc?

[buddha1too]

Congrats on the move, BethRags. I hope you recover from it soon.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Lizzie1813

Christina,

I don’t know how to thank you for your words. I think this is exactly what I needed to hear. I AM exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. My days are spent binge watching Netflix because I can’t bear to think about my son and how he and his sister have been hurt by the consequences of my illness. I will try to let go and float. I don’t know if it will be easy, but I will keep trying. Thank you for saying that I’ve beaten myself up enough. I couldn’t see that for myself.

Thank you again.

Your so welcome

[Victoria'smom]

So I leave in exactly 1 week I leave for vacation. My house is still a disaster. M's maybe moving while I'm gone. I'm okay with this. He'll be about an hour away. My house is a wreck because his room exploded trying to build a new dresser. So there's clean clothes, dirty clothes and everything in my living area. We're not sleeping for the next two nights. It took 3 days to build the dresser. It came in tiny pieces. I just don't have the energy to do this.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I’m just tired. So tired. Yet I can’t get to sleep. I’m tired of my sister manipulating me and using me and my psyd lecturing me when I give in eventually.

Idk

I’m just done for today

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

I’m just tired. So tired. Yet I can’t get to sleep. I’m tired of my sister manipulating me and using me and my psyd lecturing me when I give in eventually.

Idk

I’m just done for today

I’ll come punch her you know what I think of her nonsense.

May tomorrow be a better day for us both Love you !

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Soupe du jour]

It's been difficult keeping up here given my recent stomach (and related) issues. Luckily they started to ease a little on Monday. Today they are almost gone, but I'm still avoiding certain foods/beverages, and taking it easy.

I saw my psychiatrist today. We were early, but he called me in early. Thank goodness! I finally presented my new insurance card. With public insurance, my co-pay is 0. Zero. He wrote prescriptions for a 60-day supply of generic Seroquel XR and a 90-day supply of lamotrigine. The total co-pay for both, combined, was 80 czk (US$3.66). We're liking this! I still haven't heard back from my general practitioner, regarding my blood test results. I think Hubby has to call him. Otherwise I wonder if I'd ever hear back. I'd like to get a copy of the results, in case we decide to switch to another general practitioner. This one is a bit delinquent in helping us. Especially me. I still very much like my new psychiatrist. That's most important, anyway.

Nothing else much happening where I am. The weather has been ideal, in my book. Highs around 21 C (70 F). I'm a New Jersey gal, so I certainly know hot and humid summers, but I never liked them. My body is not designed for them.

I told my pdoc that I've resorted to taking a little Ativan (lorazepam) at night to sleep. He said they don't prescribe this benzo in CZ. Very surprising! He suggested maybe prescribing triazolam (Halcion) in the future. I've never heard of that one! Does anyone have any experience with it? I hate the idea of switching from one I rather like to one I might not. At least benzos are only prns for me, at this stage.

[Soupe du jour]

@Brokenheartedmom, I struggled to find the post of yours that BethRags quoted (computer issues), but wanted to also welcome you here.

Obviously we don't know the issues regarding some of your daughter's family members distancing from her. However, it is important that they try to learn at least a little bit about bipolar disorder. Have you considered buying a good book on the disorder and after reading it (if you haven't already), shoving it in your son's hands? Perhaps he wouldn't read the whole thing, but even skimming might be helpful. If your daughter actually did something that hurt him (and others) because of bipolar behavior, time may help a bit with forgiveness and understanding. If there is a deep stigma present, that (and some other prejudices) do ease in people with time. Again, education is key. Sometimes a person must have their own hardships to commiserate with others'. In any case, I feel for your daughter and you. Struggling/suffering from a mental illness is hard enough. Being rejected by others is the icing on the cake of pain. My family members didn't exact distance from me, but they weren't sufficiently supportive, either. But I did have friends and colleagues distance from me. It's a hard pill to swallow.

[HALLIEBETH87]

She’s just gah!

[Lizzie1813]

Originally Posted by xRavenx

My anxiety with possible hypomanic symptoms have been worse than they have been in a long time. I went home from work 3 hours early for mental health symptoms since it became impossible to concentrate. I pace and pace and pace. There is nothing that can slow me down. Sometimes I respond to someone giving me reassurance that everything is ok, but it is temporary. I can't stop until something gives me some relief. Klonopin has stopped working, because I am so sped up. I do get some sleep with Seroquel, but then the reset button hits, and my symptoms flare right back up the next day. I can't go on feeling this way. I almost got into a car accident today, because I was so distracted. Now I'm just crying, because I can't get a hold of myself and feel shame that I had to leave work. I should have just stuck it out a few hours, but I couldn't.

I’m so sorry you are struggling so much with anxiety and possibly hypomania. Please don’t be so hard on yourself for needing to leave work. You were doing what was needed to take care of yourself. I’m glad you’ve been able to sleep. Please give yourself permission to cry. I wish I had the words to help you feel better. I’m so glad you are reaching out here. I also live with severe anxiety which is worsened when I’m hypomanic or manic so feel free to message me anytime if you need to talk. Hugs.

[Lizzie1813]

I’m feeling pretty good today. Except for some weird dreams, I slept well which always helps my mood. I usually cook and clean at my cousin’s house on Wednesday, but there is a big storm coming and driving in the rain terrifies me. I always have a horrible panic attack. I’m glad to be staying home. I ordered some polymer clay and sculpting supplies. I want to learn how to make miniature baby dolls. I’ll try to post an example of someone else’s work so y’all will have an idea. I need something besides tv to occupy my mind, plus I really enjoy arts and crafts. I hope everyone has a good day! Hugs!