[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

it is getting harder and harder to recover from these stomach issues

and each time they seem to hurt a tiny bit more

I'm sorry, rv. You know all too well that chronic pain makes life a thousand times harder.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

They took my brother to the ER via ambulance with lights and sirens yesterday. They can’t get his oxygen levels or temperature stabilized. They were no intensive care beds available so he spent the night in the ER where we were not permitted to stay all night.

I’m taking mom to the back doctor today for the compressed fracture in her back. When it rains it pours. I’m about to go float to restore some sanity and I’m definitely meeting my daughter Sunday to see F9. After I’ll have to miss therapy today, I need things that help with my equilibrium.

I hope everything turns out okay. It’s all getting to be too much.

Yes. It sounds like way more than your fair share.

[Soupe du jour]

I felt quite well this morning, which led me to take on some gardening projects that direly needed to be done. Our property now looks great, but it did a little number on my stomach (gastro stuff) again. I'm done for the day, except perhaps dinner preparations.

[Lizzie1813]

I’m okay this morning. I slept well last night, which always helps me feel at least a little better. I’m still not feeling up to doing much of anything. Maybe when my new sculpting supplies arrive, the idea of starting a new craft will be enough to get me out of my recliner. I already have the polymer clay. I miss my kids so much. My daughter is busy, and y’all know the situation with my son. I’ve been trying to take Christina’s advice to “float.” It’s helping some. When my guilt, regret, and shame start bubbling up, I tell myself to let go. Again, sometimes it works. I did laundry yesterday and went with cousin to Walmart. She bought me a printer for my birthday which is August 8th. That was really sweet of her. I’ll be 48. I cooked stuffed bell peppers for her and her husband. They turned out pretty good. I’m not really sure what I’ll do today. Maybe I’ll read. I hope everyone has a good day.

[Moose72]

Rough night. No psych/ER visit. Didn't call them or the emergency line at the pdoc"s office but probably should've.
I didn't want to be told to go in to psych ER. This morning feeling better after sleep and coffee and some prn Haldol which I didn"t even think of last night.

[wildflowerchild25]

I slept SO bad last night. Took me forever to fall asleep and I just tossed and turned all night. You know when you know you’re asleep but you’re not quite all the way so you keep waking up? That was me. I decided to switch tracks and instead of listening to a tv show to fall asleep like I usually do I tried to do a sleep meditation but that did not work. It was not soothing to me. I turned on some “zen” music and tried to just focus on that instead of letting my mind jump around. It was very difficult.

I am irritable today but I know why. I’m going to exercise today. I didn’t yesterday except for a short strength training routine.

I’m trying to gather the courage to call out my mom on her possible passive aggressive behavior. I texted her about my wedding dresses and she never texted me back. I think she’s upset because she wants to be involved but how can I know that if she just ignores me? But I just don’t have it on me to be angry anymore. It will be difficult stepping out and challenging the well established dysfunctional roles in my family but I’m tired of participating.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

feel quite frustrated

so the peer support line on bipolar UK is fully booked, and I can't get anyone to call me from their until august

tried to call my mental health team as I'm really struggling today, told me sure, we'll call you back at lunch time

15:34 in the afternoon, and absolutely nothing. not even a message.

sometimes I wonder why I bother calling them if they just don't want to know..

Gah. Grrrrrrrr. That completely stinks

[Moose72]

Listening to Rene Jacobs. So nice. I'm glad he made recordings.

[Nammu]

I applied for financial aid for the Y and got it, it’s very reasonable. Ordered a fingerprint lock which is coming tomorrow and today cut my hair off, short short from halfway down my back to a clip with shears. I plan to go swimming Monday though Friday and long hair is a hassle. I’m taking back my physical health. Today I walked the track. It was longer than I thought but I finished it!

[Mountaindewed]

Is anyone having trouble just buying stuff in general? I’m not sure if it’s a high demand shortage in labor type thing or what. But I couldn’t get that Mountain Dew I wanted. A couple things I had in my cart at Macy’s didn’t work out because they sold out. I went to 2 Goodwills and they had nothing. Today Sonics line was wrapped around the building because of 50 cent corn dogs. The vitamin shoppe was out of stuff I wanted. Now I’m trying to order online and their site is down. I don’t get it. This hasn’t happened to me before. At least not all at one time.

I saw my new primary doctor. He was nice and will see me as a primary but he said I need to go to a an endocrinologist for the trans stuff to get my shots prescribed. So he sent the referral over to that office. Which is in the same building so I know they take my insurance. He said he’s really good with working with trans people. But I have an appointment set up with my new primary in January. My Pdoc was surprised my old primary could be both a primary and prescribe my shots.

So I’m just waiting around for the call from the gynecologist about the surgery and about the referral to the endocrinologist. I asked the doctor what a good weight for me is. And he said if I lose 15-20 pounds that would be good. So I honestly don’t get why I’m being told I have an ED and then also being told that I need to lose weight. He said I’m just barely in the overweight category and almost in the obese category. I’m kinda suspecting my current therapist is just secretly transphobic and her polite way of saying it was “I don’t have any experience with trans people. It’s more complex then I thought. Plus you have this “ED.” I can’t work with.

But I will for sure talk to her on Monday about the whole ED thing and what I was told today by my doctor.

So far the medical side of things in my new town has been good. But the mental health side has been iffy. But I think it’s like that anywhere you live.

I’m switching from eating ramen noodles to Cheerios. I’m concerned about how much ramen I’ve been eating and I saw on a commercial that Cheerios can help lower your cholesterol. And mine is bad and I doubt eating ramen every day is helping it.

Edit: ok I just now got the vitamin shoppe thing to work. But I wish people who were able to buy the Mountain Dew weren’t being douches to the people who couldn’t get it. God I hate Reddit.

My cousin had her baby this morning. It was a scheduled c section and people are worried for her because she had it done in something or other. Not a surrogate but the other kind. And she doesn’t have a partner. So people are concerned that she just had a c section and how she will handle everything without a partner. I have faith in her but other people aren’t sure. She has her 2 sisters my other cousins but one has a less then one year old and the other is clueless when it comes to kids. Her mom (my uncle and aunt had a very bad divorce) and my uncle can help but all these people who can help have jobs too. So people are freaking out a bit for her. But she had a girl and I couldn’t imagine her having a boy.

[Mountaindewed]

I’ve been kinda manic today. Not sure if it’s just nerves about the surgery or the lack of food I’ve had. I also haven’t taken any Valium yet. I needed one at the doctors but I didn’t have one on me so I just sat with my anxiety and it passed. So maybe I’m not quite as addicted as I thought I was. I’ll probably take one soon because I’m wondering if the mania is a withdrawal symptom.

I just moved my stuff from my side of the shelf of the pantry to my storage rack in the garage that my mom emptied for me. And according to what I have I’ve mainly been eating a variety of different kinds of oatmeal, Goldfish crackers, and ramen for who knows how long. Those are the only 3 things I have a lot of. I know the Goldfish have been a main food group for me since last November when I started losing weight and I also eat a lot of oatmeal at times. I now have my 4 boxes of cereal that I’m hoping to add to my diet. But yeah my mom is right. I don’t eat much of anything. I have a few bags of frozen vegetables in the freezer. But I don’t eat much frozen stuff either. Today I’ve had a serving of carrot Goldfish and a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Is anyone having trouble just buying stuff in general? I’m not sure if it’s a high demand shortage in labor type thing or what. But I couldn’t get that Mountain Dew I wanted. A couple things I had in my cart at Macy’s didn’t work out because they sold out. I went to 2 Goodwills and they had nothing. Today Sonics line was wrapped around the building because of 50 cent corn dogs. The vitamin shoppe was out of stuff I wanted. Now I’m trying to order online and their site is down. I don’t get it. This hasn’t happened to me before. At least not all at one time.

Looks like it was some type of online outage that affected a lot of big companies and disrupted a lot of people.

I heard in like April 2020 they were worried the Internet might collapse

But it’s fixed now.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

It's been difficult keeping up here given my recent stomach (and related) issues. Luckily they started to ease a little on Monday. Today they are almost gone, but I'm still avoiding certain foods/beverages, and taking it easy.

I saw my psychiatrist today. We were early, but he called me in early. Thank goodness! I finally presented my new insurance card. With public insurance, my co-pay is 0. Zero. He wrote prescriptions for a 60-day supply of generic Seroquel XR and a 90-day supply of lamotrigine. The total co-pay for both, combined, was 80 czk (US$3.66). We're liking this! I still haven't heard back from my general practitioner, regarding my blood test results. I think Hubby has to call him. Otherwise I wonder if I'd ever hear back. I'd like to get a copy of the results, in case we decide to switch to another general practitioner. This one is a bit delinquent in helping us. Especially me. I still very much like my new psychiatrist. That's most important, anyway.

Nothing else much happening where I am. The weather has been ideal, in my book. Highs around 21 C (70 F). I'm a New Jersey gal, so I certainly know hot and humid summers, but I never liked them. My body is not designed for them.

I told my pdoc that I've resorted to taking a little Ativan (lorazepam) at night to sleep. He said they don't prescribe this benzo in CZ. Very surprising! He suggested maybe prescribing triazolam (Halcion) in the future. I've never heard of that one! Does anyone have any experience with it? I hate the idea of switching from one I rather like to one I might not. At least benzos are only prns for me, at this stage.

So happy that you found a Pdoc that is a good fit ! that is HUGE. Hopefully your GP will get better about calling with lab results..

I took Halcion in my 20's for about 5 years. That med typically for most everyone is take it and 20-30 you will be asleep whether your ready or not. It is a Hypnotic type med so there is issues with getting up and doing all sorts of things and having no idea, I painted 2 rooms in my house one night no idea until I woke up and it was a different color. I also did lots of middle of the night cooking. So you need to be careful.

I took it again about 6 years ago. It does work. I never got a hangover feeling any time I have taken it.

I feel in short term use its fine at the lowest dose possible.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Lizzie1813

I’m feeling pretty good today. Except for some weird dreams, I slept well which always helps my mood. I usually cook and clean at my cousin’s house on Wednesday, but there is a big storm coming and driving in the rain terrifies me. I always have a horrible panic attack. I’m glad to be staying home. I ordered some polymer clay and sculpting supplies. I want to learn how to make miniature baby dolls. I’ll try to post an example of someone else’s work so y’all will have an idea. I need something besides tv to occupy my mind, plus I really enjoy arts and crafts. I hope everyone has a good day! Hugs!

Glad today is better ! I am also not a fan of driving in storms.

I hope that you share your work when finishing something. Id love to see it

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BethRags

So my cat has been diagnosed with diabetes. Tomorrow I'm to take her to the vet and learn how to give her injections twice a day. She is a great cat, very trusting, sweet, and loyal. And funny. I'm so nervous about giving the injections. The monthly cost for insulin is cruel. As usual, my husband flipped out on me when I explained the situation to him. There's never a word of support or empathy that comes out of his mouth. It's just yelling at me. I was feeling pretty strong about all of this - until he tore me down. Now I just want to crawl into bed.

My therapist is pressuring me to get a job. I don't know where she's coming up with that one. For one thing, my husband and I have had an online business for 12 years and I work at that. We actually get along best when we're working together. I was at my last job for 13 years. I'm exhausted from working since I was 14 years old. Plus, I'm on disability and don't want to lose it.

I'm by myself now (with my 5 cats); I'm going to work on regaining the optimism I felt this morning. I resent being stomped on by people who should be supportive.

Popsicles all around - in your favorite flavor!

I'm so sorry about your Fur Baby Your Husband is just a miserable jackA**

My T nor Pdoc has ever suggested I need to go back to work . between Bipolar and my chronic pain we just could never see that working out. Hopefully your T will just stop this nonsense and help you work on the chronic anxiety and ways to help you deal with it.

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by BethRags

It sounds like you're in a dangerous place. Can you get in touch with your pdoc?

I can't get a sooner appointment other than next week, so I'm trying my best to hold out until then. Today is slightly better than the day before, so I'm trying to hang in there. I definitely in an episode though.

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by Lizzie1813

I’m so sorry you are struggling so much with anxiety and possibly hypomania. Please don’t be so hard on yourself for needing to leave work. You were doing what was needed to take care of yourself. I’m glad you’ve been able to sleep. Please give yourself permission to cry. I wish I had the words to help you feel better. I’m so glad you are reaching out here. I also live with severe anxiety which is worsened when I’m hypomanic or manic so feel free to message me anytime if you need to talk. Hugs.

Thank you so much I really appreciate it.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

They took my brother to the ER via ambulance with lights and sirens yesterday. They can’t get his oxygen levels or temperature stabilized. They were no intensive care beds available so he spent the night in the ER where we were not permitted to stay all night.

I’m taking mom to the back doctor today for the compressed fracture in her back. When it rains it pours. I’m about to go float to restore some sanity and I’m definitely meeting my daughter Sunday to see F9. After I’ll have to miss therapy today, I need things that help with my equilibrium.

I hope everything turns out okay. It’s all getting to be too much.

Oh Jennifer I am so sorry

Sending you lots of love hugs and good thoughts

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

I applied for financial aid for the Y and got it, it’s very reasonable. Ordered a fingerprint lock which is coming tomorrow and today cut my hair off, short short from halfway down my back to a clip with shears. I plan to go swimming Monday though Friday and long hair is a hassle. I’m taking back my physical health. Today I walked the track. It was longer than I thought but I finished it!

GOOD for you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[~Christina]

Well my junky trashed lungs over the last almost 3 week finally said ENOUGH yesterday. This smoke from Canada wild fires were the icing on the cake.

I called my Doctor and went right in yesterday. So Steroid shot, 20mg Pred for 10 days and Antibiotics since both ear drums are bulging, again. They rupture so often if I am sick.

So prednisone on me with very unstable Bipolar

But hey a girls gotta breath

It's our 16th wedding Anniversary today so we are going out for dinner. I am so lucky to have him.

Hope everyone is having a nice day

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Well my junky trashed lungs over the last almost 3 week finally said ENOUGH yesterday. This smoke from Canada wild fires were the icing on the cake.

I called my Doctor and went right in yesterday. So Steroid shot, 20mg Pred for 10 days and Antibiotics since both ear drums are bulging, again. They rupture so often if I am sick.

So prednisone on me with very unstable Bipolar

But hey a girls gotta breath

It's our 16th wedding Anniversary today so we are going out for dinner. I am so lucky to have him.

Hope everyone is having a nice day

Oh that sucks so bad. We have smoke here too, and I’m keeping mum inside. Mum was at the doctor yesterday and they were afraid she had an infected temple nerve and would need steroids. Last time she was on steroids she shook so badly and didn’t sleep. Steroids are magic meds but ask a high price. I’ll be thinking of you and sending soothing healing rays your way.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Rough night. No psych/ER visit. Didn't call them or the emergency line at the pdoc"s office but probably should've.
I didn't want to be told to go in to psych ER. This morning feeling better after sleep and coffee and some prn Haldol which I didn"t even think of last night.

I'm glad the Haldol and sleep has helped you. I often forget about the prn option.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Nammu

I applied for financial aid for the Y and got it, it’s very reasonable. Ordered a fingerprint lock which is coming tomorrow and today cut my hair off, short short from halfway down my back to a clip with shears. I plan to go swimming Monday though Friday and long hair is a hassle. I’m taking back my physical health. Today I walked the track. It was longer than I thought but I finished it!

Wow! You rock!! I've wanted to apply for financial aid at the Y...actually was in the process when the pandemic hit. Enjoy your new 'do

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Well my junky trashed lungs over the last almost 3 week finally said ENOUGH yesterday. This smoke from Canada wild fires were the icing on the cake.

I called my Doctor and went right in yesterday. So Steroid shot, 20mg Pred for 10 days and Antibiotics since both ear drums are bulging, again. They rupture so often if I am sick.

So prednisone on me with very unstable Bipolar
But hey a girls gotta breath
It's our 16th wedding Anniversary today so we are going out for dinner. I am so lucky to have him.

Hope everyone is having a nice day

Happy Anniversary! I hope your dinner out was joyful

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Wow! You rock!! I've wanted to apply for financial aid at the Y...actually was in the process when the pandemic hit. Enjoy your new 'do

You should go ahead and apply!!

I did it online but had no idea how to scan documents in so I took my SSDI documents right down and within a week got an email that it was $20 per month. That’s very affordable.

Tho I have been spending on one time purchases like the lock, hair cut ( now sort of regretting it, I could have bought a swim cap for long hair! ) new beach towel. I already had two brand new suits that I’d never even tried on from before the pandemic 😷 I was thinking about it 2 years ago but dragged my feet. But over all it’s mostly getting the motivation. I’m doing this mostly to control pain and walk better, but losing weight would be a plus!!