[Soupe du jour]

My husband's and my medications are getting more and more complex. The pop out pills exacerbate it. Every time we've called our new GP for medications he's mixed things up or forgotten something. I carefully listed all of the meds we needed, and of course three out of the seven were not sent to the pharmacy system. I'm thinking about trying to slowly stop one of my blood pressure meds. That would still leave me with one, plus a beta blocker that is intended for my tachycardia, but can also help lower blood pressure. I'll monitor it frequently in the near future. If it starts to rise a lot, we'll have to get the GP to FINALLY send the order. That doc also neglected to order my levothyroxine (thyroid). I still have a few weeks of that, but it is not an optional med. My thyroid is shot.

Hubby hasn't helped much with household chores, lately. I wish he'd do a little again.

Well, i'm back on the benzo taper!!! So glad i didn't blow it. I back-slid one more time into the Clonazepam for a total of three times but made it thru the past two days without it and slept fine both nights.

YAY!!!!!

Mornings sure are a lot easier without a benzo hangover. I'm waking up at 6:00am naturally. I'm happy to get-up because of the absurd Seroquel dreams. I'll be happy when i'm off that too but all in good time, my pretties, all in good time.

I feel happy this morning. Thanks for sharing your story with me @Moose72.
You do know some interesting people, i'll say that!!! If that guy i'm trying to re-friend can forgive me, great, but if he can't i will still be okay. There's a woman in my building named Patti and we have a good time together at women's coffee break (solving all the problems of the world!) so when i am strong enough again, i will pursue a friendship with her.

Everything is okay!!!

Hugs,

Jane.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

Well, i'm back on the benzo taper!!! So glad i didn't blow it. I back-slid one more time into the Clonazepam for a total of three times but made it thru the past two days without it and slept fine both nights.

YAY!!!!!

Mornings sure are a lot easier without a benzo hangover. I'm waking up at 6:00am naturally. I'm happy to get-up because of the absurd Seroquel dreams. I'll be happy when i'm off that too but all in good time, my pretties, all in good time.

I feel happy this morning. Thanks for sharing your story with me @Moose72.
You do know some interesting people, i'll say that!!! If that guy i'm trying to re-friend can forgive me, great, but if he can't i will still be okay. There's a woman in my building named Patti and we have a good time together at women's coffee break (solving all the problems of the world!) so when i am strong enough again, i will pursue a friendship with her.

Everything is okay!!!

Hugs,

Jane.

That's lovely!

[Lizzie1813]

Too cute not to share!

[Mountaindewed]

I’m doing ok today. I fell asleep last night at 7:30 instead of 6:30. I slept all the way until 4:40. I was kind of drowsy when I woke up like I had a med hangover but I didn’t take anything extra. I did go to bed on a sort of empty stomach. I had a little bit of salad that was really good and then a white cheddar rice cake. When I woke up this morning I finished the rest of the salad. I had a candy bar too with the salad. Gotta keep up with that variety so I don’t fail.

I went out to do my weekly shopping. I only found chocolate rice cakes. There’s still this weird shortage of them. I got a couple salad kits that are summer flavors. One of them is the kind I had last night. The other one is a blueberry summer salad. Then I went to a gas station and found 3 small bags of the new flavors of Lays Chips. They are dusted with other flavors of chips. One is funyon, one is Cheetos, and one is cool ranch Doritos. The cashier was kinda talking to me like I was a little kid and she said “are you going to try all of these?” And I said “yeah” and then she said “make sure you tell your grandma how they are” my “grandma” was my mom. I know she had me when she was 41 but I don’t think she looks that old. I think it’s me. I’ve been told I dress young. Well sometimes all that fits me is stuff meant for teenagers. I was also told that I have the body shape of a college student.

But today I feel ok overall. I’m not stressing too much about the surgery. I mean it’s still almost 2 months away there’s no point in stressing about it this early. I emailed my therapist yesterday afternoon since she told me I could after I heard something. She hasn’t gotten back to me yet but she usually takes a couple days to respond. I honestly don’t have the feelings I do for her that I had with my transference T. I wish I knew what the difference was. My current T is actually prettier then my transference T and she says the same stuff that when transference T would say to me would make me super horny. but I just don’t feel any attraction to this therapist at all. I don’t get why my feelings for transference T were so intense.

Doesn't look like i'm crashing after all!!!!!

Had my first post-COVID swim! The pool was not warm enough tho. It was still pleasurable and therapeutic to float as @Jennifer 1967 does and ease my aching bod from Scooping and feel the buoyancy and pressure on my flesh. There's even swim noodles now to play with! I had lots of fun, had the whole pool to myself the whole time.

Aah, the peace, the privacy!!!

Before swimming i felt lonely so i called Patti (the neighbor i get along so well with at the coffee social) and just said flat out that i was feeling lonely and did she want to get together in an hour. So we did and i had a rocking good time! She's a hoot!

A great friend for me, much better than that Debbie who talked over me. Patti would never do that. So glad i persevered in my efforts to make friends after i was so devastated by the disappointment with Debbie.

Still no word from my pen-pal and suspect he has gone offline as he did before when he got overwhelmed with other things in his life. No matter, i will enjoy myself and if he ever gets back in touch with me, great but if not i will be fine. There are people every where! Maybe not as special as him tho...

But I WILL SURVIVE!!!!!

Hugs,

Sweet Jane.

[Moose72]

Having hallucinations. Voices telling me to take pills and to shut up! and

Possible trigger:

**** you! and Take them! Take them! Take them!

I talked with my pdoc's nurse and my case manager. They want me to give my meds to someone except tonight and tomorrow morning's. That we would reassess and see if I'm still having these hallucinations then. That if I decide I'm going to take them I should call 911. Why is my life such a mess? I know.... bipolar. *Sigh*

[Nammu]

Oooooooo what a relief! I was googling around looking various things up about the Olympics and clicked on an article about tug of war and caught a virus. It kept telling me to download a anti virus program or in 5 minutes it would destroy my phone, and various threats. I took my iPad to the dr. And it’s all fixed now! Yahoo! The only thing I know how to do is restart it. That didn’t help. Took about an hour. Oh what a relief. My iPad is my only connection to you guys and my email. My phone doesn’t do that. I’m so glad my nephew mentioned this place.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Oooooooo what a relief! I was googling around looking various things up about the Olympics and clicked on an article about tug of war and caught a virus. It kept telling me to download a anti virus program or in 5 minutes it would destroy my phone, and various threats. I took my iPad to the dr. And it’s all fixed now! Yahoo! The only thing I know how to do is restart it. That didn’t help. Took about an hour. Oh what a relief. My iPad is my only connection to you guys and my email. My phone doesn’t do that. I’m so glad my nephew mentioned this place.

How scary! Glad it's all fixed now.

@Moose72:

I don't know what to say because i don't have hallucinations but i have never found that a suicide attempt IMPROVES things, it just makes it WORSE because then you've got to recover from the trauma of the attempt PLUS the original suffering.

I've done some research that concluded it's almost impossible to kill yourself with psych meds. You could wind up on a ventilator tho and who wants that? Or organ or brain damage. That would only make life harder and i'm sure you don't want THAT.

Just hang in there, so close to the edge of extinction, to move an inch is to move a thousand miles (Joyce Carol Oates).

I care enough to chime in and only wish i had the skill equal to your situation.
All i can offer is that i care.

Hugs

Sweet Jane.

[Kelly68]

I'm not well at all but the last thing I'd want to do is go to the hospital. I've got too much to worry about. Someone told me I have no worries. That's just wrong... since losing my dad I don't know how to handle anything. Siblings are not good... don't hear from my brother. I should just say oh well who cares after the way theyve always been with me. I really lost some scrupels is about all I can say, I didn't start hearing or seeing things but I started to feel unwell after someone I thought cared about me hurt me deeply. I'd like to go inpatient in a way but if I do I mess up everything for my sons and the plans I have.... there's not many options for my problems and I wish i could just sleep but I can't even do that. sorry for the pitiful post but I'm trying to not pity myself.

[Mountaindewed]

So much pain and bleeding tonight. I don’t get how insurance wouldn’t pay for this.

I only had one melatonin left. I took it 3 hours ago and then my Geodon 20 minutes ago. Maybe I’ll take one of my brothers 10mil melatonin. Just one though.

At least I didn’t mix benzos today. I did double up on my 2nd and 3rd Valium this afternoon.

Lately I’ve been taking a Valium between 8:30-10AM my 20mil Geodon at noon. And then my 2nd and 3rd Valium usually at 12 and 2PM. Unless I double up on them. Then I take my lamictal and propalnol around 2 and then my 160mil Geodon between 5:30 and 6PM. so I’m getting something every few hours.

[Sunflower123]

I haven’t felt well today. Hard cough, bad headache, burning up, sneezing. Just not real well at all. My brother is still in the hospital and I’d like to visit tomorrow but I’m going to call my doctor first and get checked out. Man do I feel rough.

Brother is mending in the hospital and then will be taken to rehab after 4-5 days. They found other bones in the process of mending from his previous falls. Poor guy.

I’m going to wish everyone a peaceful Wednesday, get off of here and head to bed. Hope I feel better tomorrow. I’ll definitely get checked out before I head into a hospital.

I was phony today. My young man neighbor told me about a confrontation his girlfriend got in that he walked away from, leaving her all alone in it.

She was escalating things tho. I wanted to say that i thought it was cowardly of him to not get in front of her or at least not to leave her side but instead, i comforted him.

The gender-roles are so mixed-up. Clearly, PROTECTION is the man's job. A cowardly man is not worth much. I would have left him too. My dad was a coward too, hiding behind me. It was repellent.

But that's not what i said, is it? I admire the girlfriend for being so ferocious. And yet, i comforted the young man... I care for him too tho and he'd just helped me out earlier today by lending me his pool-house key fob...

Emotions are so messy...

Hugs,

Sweet Jane.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

My husband's and my medications are getting more and more complex. The pop out pills exacerbate it. Every time we've called our new GP for medications he's mixed things up or forgotten something. I carefully listed all of the meds we needed, and of course three out of the seven were not sent to the pharmacy system. I'm thinking about trying to slowly stop one of my blood pressure meds. That would still leave me with one, plus a beta blocker that is intended for my tachycardia, but can also help lower blood pressure. I'll monitor it frequently in the near future. If it starts to rise a lot, we'll have to get the GP to FINALLY send the order. That doc also neglected to order my levothyroxine (thyroid). I still have a few weeks of that, but it is not an optional med. My thyroid is shot.

Hubby hasn't helped much with household chores, lately. I wish he'd do a little again.

Oh I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time getting your medications sorted out like this... Do you think maybe you should look for another GP? Blood pressure and Thyroid medications are not something that can just get screwed up like this.. Is it possible to go in person with a written list or even the prescription bottles and speak to the nurse? I'm not sure how things run in your new country but here If I need a refill on meds the nurses can just fax the order to the pharmacy. Maybe speaking to the nurse could get all the info needed to get everything sorted out???

I know you have mentioned before that your husband is dealing with Depression.. Could it be getting worse? Honestly I am not one to automatically say " Call your Pdoc" we all know meds can only go so far..

Do you have plans coming up? trips? sightseeing somewhere? Maybe if you had a plan to do X that could maybe help perk him up ?? Are you able to just ask him to please help you???

Heres hoping things improve

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Having hallucinations. Voices telling me to take pills and to shut up! and

Possible trigger:

**** you! and Take them! Take them! Take them!

I talked with my pdoc's nurse and my case manager. They want me to give my meds to someone except tonight and tomorrow morning's. That we would reassess and see if I'm still having these hallucinations then. That if I decide I'm going to take them I should call 911. Why is my life such a mess? I know.... bipolar. *Sigh*

J! I hope things improve quickly. I agree that you need to give your meds to someone ( your Mom ? ) to hold so you only have a day or 2 at one time.

Please do call 911 if things continue this way

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Lizzie1813

Too cute not to share!

Love it ! Thank you so much

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Oooooooo what a relief! I was googling around looking various things up about the Olympics and clicked on an article about tug of war and caught a virus. It kept telling me to download a anti virus program or in 5 minutes it would destroy my phone, and various threats. I took my iPad to the dr. And it’s all fixed now! Yahoo! The only thing I know how to do is restart it. That didn’t help. Took about an hour. Oh what a relief. My iPad is my only connection to you guys and my email. My phone doesn’t do that. I’m so glad my nephew mentioned this place.

Oh that is so scary !!! It really is awful how quickly our technology can be messed with. I'm glad you found someone to fix it

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Kelly68

I'm not well at all but the last thing I'd want to do is go to the hospital. I've got too much to worry about. Someone told me I have no worries. That's just wrong... since losing my dad I don't know how to handle anything. Siblings are not good... don't hear from my brother. I should just say oh well who cares after the way theyve always been with me. I really lost some scrupels is about all I can say, I didn't start hearing or seeing things but I started to feel unwell after someone I thought cared about me hurt me deeply. I'd like to go inpatient in a way but if I do I mess up everything for my sons and the plans I have.... there's not many options for my problems and I wish i could just sleep but I can't even do that. sorry for the pitiful post but I'm trying to not pity myself.

Don't think about your post as being pitiful.. Sometimes just dumping all the stuff out of your head can be helpful, it is for me often.

I'm sorry you don't have support from family I have never gone IP when its a good timing situation.. We all hit a crisis point when we do. I'm sure it would be upsetting to mess up plans with your sons but I'm certain they would rather have you getting help rather than suffer.

Be kind to yourself. I hope you are able to get some sleep

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I haven’t felt well today. Hard cough, bad headache, burning up, sneezing. Just not real well at all. My brother is still in the hospital and I’d like to visit tomorrow but I’m going to call my doctor first and get checked out. Man do I feel rough.

Brother is mending in the hospital and then will be taken to rehab after 4-5 days. They found other bones in the process of mending from his previous falls. Poor guy.

I’m going to wish everyone a peaceful Wednesday, get off of here and head to bed. Hope I feel better tomorrow. I’ll definitely get checked out before I head into a hospital.

Oh Jennifer I am so sorry that your brother fell... You are being hit left and right

I hope that you are sleeping and will wake up feeling much better. You have to put yourself first Do you have any plan set up to see M again?

[~Christina]

I think I have recovered physically as far as possible from having Steves middle son, wife and his youngest son here.

Steves youngest son Tyler was in the Army and him and the guys in the past 4 years would get together and go snow boarding, Hiking in Utah, NYC, cruises etc etc etc 3-4 trips a year. Well one of his friends age 29 in perfect health came down with Covid last Monday, felt horrible, running a high temp, the next day he went to the ER because he was having trouble breathing. He was on a ventilator 3 hours later and died the next morning.. he left behind a wife and 2 small kids..

Steve's middle son and his wife that were here along with Tyler last week have been hesitant to get the vaccine due to concerns about possible fertility/ birth defects issues as they are planning to start a family next year.. Well they are scheduled to get the vaccine tomorrow.

I see my T tomorrow ( Wednesday) and I really need it... We have always had a plan that if I got bad I would do X then Y then Z if need be. There needs to be changes due to my inability to be on Psych meds. Yes if things get worse then they are right now ( Bipolar wise ) I could take something very short short term. But nothing I can take more than a few weeks. So I need to get more hurdles in place to help me not do something awful.

Hugs to anyone in need

[leomama]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

Doesn't look like i'm crashing after all!!!!!

Had my first post-COVID swim! The pool was not warm enough tho. It was still pleasurable and therapeutic to float as @Jennifer 1967 does and ease my aching bod from Scooping and feel the buoyancy and pressure on my flesh. There's even swim noodles now to play with! I had lots of fun, had the whole pool to myself the whole time.

Aah, the peace, the privacy!!!

Before swimming i felt lonely so i called Patti (the neighbor i get along so well with at the coffee social) and just said flat out that i was feeling lonely and did she want to get together in an hour. So we did and i had a rocking good time! She's a hoot!

A great friend for me, much better than that Debbie who talked over me. Patti would never do that. So glad i persevered in my efforts to make friends after i was so devastated by the disappointment with Debbie.

Still no word from my pen-pal and suspect he has gone offline as he did before when he got overwhelmed with other things in his life. No matter, i will enjoy myself and if he ever gets back in touch with me, great but if not i will be fine. There are people every where! Maybe not as special as him tho...

But I WILL SURVIVE!!!!!

Hugs,

Sweet Jane.

What kind of scooping?

[leomama]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I was phony today. My young man neighbor told me about a confrontation his girlfriend got in that he walked away from, leaving her all alone in it.

She was escalating things tho. I wanted to say that i thought it was cowardly of him to not get in front of her or at least not to leave her side but instead, i comforted him.

The gender-roles are so mixed-up. Clearly, PROTECTION is the man's job. A cowardly man is not worth much. I would have left him too. My dad was a coward too, hiding behind me. It was repellent.

But that's not what i said, is it? I admire the girlfriend for being so ferocious. And yet, i comforted the young man... I care for him too tho and he'd just helped me out earlier today by lending me his pool-house key fob...

Emotions are so messy...

Hugs,

Sweet Jane.

I agree with you about gender roles 100%. Weak men turn me off. At this point I wonder if I can ever get in the kind of relationship I want to be in. I’ve left three men myself .

[leomama]

I’m so utterly miserable at work. I’m trying to get my old job back but now only closing shifts are available and I don’t want those plus it’s a pay cut without medical/dental/vision benefits. Clearly not a good idea. I have the option to go on leave, go on disability, again an income reduction. I’m so unhappy. Art is the only thing that gives me any relief.

[*Beth*]

Took my kitty, Sid, to the vet this morning where she will stay all day to have her glucose levels monitored (she's diabetic). I know she'll be scared, and not having her here all day doesn't feel good.

Me...I guess I've been stable lately. Anyway, as stable as I get, meaning my depression and anxiety are minimal. I would still like a dash of "happy" hypomania in there, but I don't think that will be happening any time soon.