[Soupe du jour]

My sister, b-i-l, and nephew have been quarantining since they were exposed to the Delta variant of covid a few days back. They chatted with their neighbor who told them a couple days later that he has covid. They all got vaccinated, but of course the wise thing was to quarantine. So far they seem fine. They have pre-existing conditions that would put them at greater risk, if they ever got it.

I've been chatting with Sis daily and sending Vienna photos to her. We both enjoy our correspondence. Plus, in her youth she LOVED studying German. Perhaps some day if she visits me in CZ we can take her to Germany or Austria. Dresden is rather close to Prague, which we'd take her to see...again. I write "again" because she was my witness when I got married there over 20 years ago.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m doing ok today. I gave my mom my meds again last night. I just couldn’t fall asleep and I tried my time release melatonin. And that didn’t work. So I tried a pure zzz gummy melatonin and that didn’t work. Finally it was close to 10 and I felt like I was going to lose control of my anxiety and I asked my mom to hold onto my meds but to first give me a Valium and one of my other melatonin’s. I have 3 different kinds total. Then I turned on the music on my Echo and after the 3rd melatonin I fell asleep. I was just feeling guilty about the interview and I felt like I had wasted a huge opportunity because I didn’t listen to MSF or my mom. I think that’s why I had trouble falling asleep.

But I finally fell asleep and I woke up at about 6:15. I listened to about 1.5 episodes of my podcast. Then I went to a couple grocery stores and the library. I avoided the grilled cheese sandwiches this time. I do not want to make that into a habit every time I go. But then I spent $3 on sodas from Sonic afterwards. So idk. But right now I’m just waiting for a couple deliveries, I’m doing laundry, but basically I’m just procrastinating on doing any of my hobbies.

Edit: I really needed a Valium but my mom has them. My anxiety was really bad and I couldn’t find any in my med box I used for when I went on vacation. I had several there before. But I found a Xanax that I took.

I’m not sure how healthy it is to be mixing different types of melatonin and different benzos. Especially when the problem would be solved if I just ate a legit lunch and distracted myself in a healthy way.

[Nammu]

It’s a beautiful day, I thought maybe I’d go to the fair for a couple of hours, but when I looked it up it said busier than usual. Lots of people. Bet they’re not using masks either! So now I’m thinking of going over to the library and using their public space in front of the lake.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Nammu

It’s a beautiful day, I thought maybe I’d go to the fair for a couple of hours, but when I looked it up it said busier than usual. Lots of people. Bet they’re not using masks either! So now I’m thinking of going over to the library and using their public space in front of the lake.

I hope wherever you roam today that it's a pleasant outing, Nammu.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I’m not sure how healthy it is to be mixing different types of melatonin and different benzos. Especially when the problem would be solved if I just ate a legit lunch and distracted myself in a healthy way.

You're right- it isn't healthy to be mixing melatonin with benzos never mind several different kinds of each.

On another note, rare steaks are supposed to be cold and red in the center. I doubt a restaurant would serve you a raw steak, but sometimes it seems that way because rare is very difficult to chew. I used to order my steaks that way, but now have switched to medium rare for just that reason.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by Moose72

You're right- it isn't healthy to be mixing melatonin with benzos never mind several different kinds of each.

On another note, rare steaks are supposed to be cold and red in the center. I doubt a restaurant would serve you a raw steak, but sometimes it seems that way because rare is very difficult to chew. I used to order my steaks that way, but now have switched to medium rare for just that reason.

I ordered it medium though. Not rare. And the whole thing was bright red and cold. Not just the middle. I feel ok though. I have some mild cramping and gas but that’s probably due to other things.

[Moose72]

I went to bed early last night- relatively, anyway. I woke up around midnight to gun shots! I was too groggy to actually get up and look out the window and just fell back asleep. I dreamed that I'd been shot 4 times and was bleeding a lot and I just stood there amongst all these people who refused to take me to the hospital! Then around 11 a.m. today I got an email from the apartment complex saying that there had been a shooting- around midnight! One person died. I swear- I moved from my last neighborhood partly because I needed a 1-bedroom instead of a 3-bedroom but also because it was dangerous there. I read some online reviews of my old neighborhood and it was all about the prostitution and guns, etc. that were there! So here I am thinking I've moved to a much better neighborhood- the apartment itself is much nicer, even though it's smaller anyway- and this happens!

I'm picking up N3 at the normal time from work. Tomorrow, I'm going to meet up with N1 for Starbucks, although we will need to go to another of the 3 nearby locations because Peter always goes there on Saturday morning/afternoon. He tried calling me not even half an hour ago. I bet he left a message. I didn't even check to see if there is one... Yup. There was one from him. It said "I'm getting concerned. Call me back." Uh no. Stop trying to reel me back in! He doesn't understand the concept of "ghosting".

My stomach ache is basically gone. I ate cereal around 4:45 this morning. It still hurts a tiny bit, but nothing I can't deal with.

My flowers from my friend from when i was in the hospital have basically all died. It has been 3 weeks tomorrow, hasn't it? Speaking of that, I think the increased Seroquel and Haldol have really helped. Except that I ate TWO bowls of cinnamon life cereal this morning. Haven't wanted lunch from the ache, but maybe dinner will be okay? Oh but that same friend texted today to say that soon we can get together. I haven't seen her in ages. She went on a trip with her boyfriend for one thing and he's still going to be visiting her place for a few more days. But hopefully after that we'll be able to get together.

[Sunflower123]

I had a great therapy session except for one thing. I took an assessment and scored high for caregiver burnout. It hit me wrong. I got sick to my stomach, light headed and started crying. I need to make some changes in my life or I’ll likely get very sick (my therapist’s words). I’m still upset today. I’ve known something was wrong for months. I just couldn’t put a name to it. Now I know.

I had a wonderful float in the sunshine today. I’m getting everything ready now for my daughter to visit this weekend.

I hope everyone has a peaceful weekend.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I ordered it medium though. Not rare. And the whole thing was bright red and cold. Not just the middle. I feel ok though. I have some mild cramping and gas but that’s probably due to other things.

If they didn't even cook the outside then I dunno what to call that besides raw? Why didn't you tell them that you ordered it medium and that what they brought was under cooked? I hope you are okay from it- that the cramping and gas will go away. You probably needed all that protein after only eating carbs for so long.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I had a great therapy session except for one thing. I took an assessment and scored high for caregiver burnout. It hit me wrong. I got sick to my stomach, light headed and started crying. I need to make some changes in my life or I’ll likely get very sick (my therapist’s words). I’m still upset today. I’ve known something was wrong for months. I just couldn’t put a name to it. Now I know.

I had a wonderful float in the sunshine today. I’m getting everything ready now for my daughter to visit this weekend.

I hope everyone has a peaceful weekend.

That's terrible that you are burnt out and that it makes you feel ill like that. I wish I could go float, but I'd sink! I've never understood how people could float- even when I was a kid.

[Soupe du jour]

My husband's and my last night in Vienna was definitely not what I hoped it would be. Bad choice of restaurant. Oh well! He and I are both a little irritable. Bad luck. Anyway, we head back to Czechia tomorrow.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

My husband's and my last night in Vienna was definitely not what I hoped it would be. Bad choice of restaurant. Oh well! He and I are both a little irritable. Bad luck. Anyway, we head back to Czechia tomorrow.

@Soupe du jour

[Nammu]

I did go to the fair. I was there maybe an hour and a half. Very few people wore masks but it was mostly outside. I had my mask so I felt ok with that. Got the funnel cake I wanted. Walked about a bit but the fine arts building was too far away from where I parked. Walked the midway so I could tell my daughter what they had. Her fair didn’t have many rides and they were thinking of coming over here. Ours is a free fair. It felt good getting out for a bit in the sunshine. The next two days are supposed to be nice too. Finally the heat and humidity have gone.

[Moose72]

This is post #15,000! I know I'm slow compared to some of you all -like @Nammu who has nearly 50,000 posts!- but it seems like a big milestone.

[Mountaindewed]

My old job (different location but the same place that called before) called back. They really want me to do this interview. They really want to hire me I guess. Since I’ll need little to no training. I agreed to do an interview for tomorrow at 2PM. I’ll go on it and see what they say. But the surgery needs to come first. But I had such a hard time sleeping last night because I felt like I just wasted a big opportunity. So I feel like this is my second chance. And if they don’t want to hire me because I’m having surgery, then that’s their problem I guess.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by Moose72

If they didn't even cook the outside then I dunno what to call that besides raw? Why didn't you tell them that you ordered it medium and that what they brought was under cooked? I hope you are okay from it- that the cramping and gas will go away. You probably needed all that protein after only eating carbs for so long.

It was carry out and I didn’t realize it until I opened the container. I could have nuked it in the microwave I guess.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I had a great therapy session except for one thing. I took an assessment and scored high for caregiver burnout. It hit me wrong. I got sick to my stomach, light headed and started crying. I need to make some changes in my life or I’ll likely get very sick (my therapist’s words). I’m still upset today. I’ve known something was wrong for months. I just couldn’t put a name to it. Now I know.

I had a wonderful float in the sunshine today. I’m getting everything ready now for my daughter to visit this weekend.

I hope everyone has a peaceful weekend.

Oh, that is rough. I hope you are able to make the necessary changes, Jennifer. Caregiver burnout is not good for anyone.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m trying to just calm down for the night. I took my 160 mil Geodon, a Valium, and 2 ten mil melatonin’s but different types.

I hope that concoction knocks me out in half an hour for the entire night. I ate cereal since I didn’t feel like eating anything else. I have my jeans in the dryer in the washer. I was supposed to get another pair delivered today but I’m not sure what’s going on.

[Scooter9]

Well it's been a week since I stopped my meds and no new stomach pain.

No withdrawal effects yet but I think that'll change next week.

I think my pdoc will be upset with me when I tell her that I stopped the meds. She'll be back next week. This is the first time I have stopped meds on my own.

Overall I'm feeling the same: low and anxious.

I have an appointment with the ketamine clinic in early September to assess whether I qualify for treatment.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

Well it's been a week since I stopped my meds and no new stomach pain.

No withdrawal effects yet but I think that'll change next week.

I think my pdoc will be upset with me when I tell her that I stopped the meds. She'll be back next week. This is the first time I have stopped meds on my own.

Overall I'm feeling the same: low and anxious.

I have an appointment with the ketamine clinic in early September to assess whether I qualify for treatment.

Hi Scooter, Why did you stop your meds?

Originally Posted by BethRags

Thank you so much, Rose. So many people encourage home glucose testing rather than the vet doing glucose testing. Did you ever do that (home testing)?

I hope and pray Tiger does well next Wednesday. Again, best of luck with the perphenazine.

You're welcome! No I never did home testing. My vet said they're not always accurate. Good luck with Sydney.

I've decided to take a break from posting. Posting about that organization just makes me feel really exposed. Even on the sites exposing them gets me upset. I mean I had a complete psychotic break regarding this. It was when I was on anti this organization sites. Too many memories.

I have so much going on in my life that I've got to just completely focus on myself right now.

Take care everyone!

[Daonnachd]

Hey, all. I read through everything to catch up and I wish you all well in each individual journey.

For my own journey, my therapist reminded me that I'm approaching the time of year which always sees my condition worsen. I was already thinking about asking my ECT doc if we could shorten the interval between treatments. Still two weeks to go before the next one.

[Scooter9]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Hi Scooter, Why did you stop your meds?

I stopped because I experienced extreme stomach pain last Friday. The pain lasted 6 hours and was very, very intense.

The pain was exactly like the pain I had on a recurring basis when I had a bad reaction to Lamictal about 3 years ago.

I didn't want to go through that again and I read online that the side effects of both remeron and Latuda include stomach pain. So I thought the most obvious is to stop the meds because of that.

I know it's possible that I jumped to concussions but I really didn't want to go through that stomach pain again (when Lamictal caused the stomach pain, it would come back every few weeks and stopped when my pdoc stopped the Lamictal).

[BeyondtheRainbow]

We had a bad storm tonight and the electric has been out for hours. The last estimate for
Renewal is 11 pm. I’ve read nearly an entire book on my Kindle. I’m grateful for this as I rarely read so much at once anymore but it’s hard to be patient when it is not very comfortable inside. The temperature dropped Thank God but it’s still humid and warm. So far this week we’ve had a tree comedown in one storm and now this. I didn’t remember exactly how dark my house is. I need to buy flashlights. Somehow I’m down to one. Anyway time to stop using my phone battery. Hope all are well.