[wildflowerchild25]

RS ended up coming straight back home because his flaky friend wasn’t even there when he got to his shop. He knew I was upset and when his friend didn’t even show up (it had been an hour since he first requested help) RS just said screw it snd came home and. We went out to this wildflower preserve and walked around for awhile which I think is just what I needed. It is beautiful out today, very nice day to be outside, especially compared to the last few days with extreme heat. I feel much better now and RS feels better that he decided to spend time with us instead of waiting for his friend to show up.

As for the craving and constant bingeing, I think I figured that out! I was like damn I just feel like I do when I have PMS but all the time now. You know when else I felt like that? All the time I was on risperidone, paliperidone and haldol. All of them skyrocketed my prolactin. It would absolutely make sense that I did not start out with this eating behavior, that it’s been building the longer I take seroquel.

It’s pretty messed up because seroquel is one of the AP’s that’s not supposed to raise prolactin. But apparently if you have a sensitivity, which I seem to have, it still can.

So I have a dr appt next Friday and I’m going to ask her to order a blood test for prolactin. If I’m right I’ll have to go back to the endocrinologist and see if there’s anything they can do medication wise. I can’t get off the seroquel, it’s the only thing that works. So I’m also going to have to just try some behavioral skills to beat back the cravings and binge eating behavior.

[Moose72]

New Seroquel side effect: Dry mouth.

@wildflowerchild25 My prolactin is raised a bit, but not much. It was 90-something last month when my doctor checked it because I had milk in my breasts, though not a lot.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

RS ended up coming straight back home because his flaky friend wasn’t even there when he got to his shop. He knew I was upset and when his friend didn’t even show up (it had been an hour since he first requested help) RS just said screw it snd came home and. We went out to this wildflower preserve and walked around for awhile which I think is just what I needed. It is beautiful out today, very nice day to be outside, especially compared to the last few days with extreme heat. I feel much better now and RS feels better that he decided to spend time with us instead of waiting for his friend to show up.

As for the craving and constant bingeing, I think I figured that out! I was like damn I just feel like I do when I have PMS but all the time now. You know when else I felt like that? All the time I was on risperidone, paliperidone and haldol. All of them skyrocketed my prolactin. It would absolutely make sense that I did not start out with this eating behavior, that it’s been building the longer I take seroquel.

It’s pretty messed up because seroquel is one of the AP’s that’s not supposed to raise prolactin. But apparently if you have a sensitivity, which I seem to have, it still can.

So I have a dr appt next Friday and I’m going to ask her to order a blood test for prolactin. If I’m right I’ll have to go back to the endocrinologist and see if there’s anything they can do medication wise. I can’t get off the seroquel, it’s the only thing that works. So I’m also going to have to just try some behavioral skills to beat back the cravings and binge eating behavior.

Hi wildflowerchild. Everyone has their own journey with medications, but I do encourage you to give those behavioral skills you mention a try. I can say that over time, with various strategies, Seroquel XR (as opposed to regular iR) has been relatively weight neutral for me. Sometimes when my dose goes up I struggle a little for a bit, but then things even out again. That, or when my dose decreases slightly again, any hunger issues ease. For me, timing of taking the med has been crucial. Also, pre-planning any snacks to be "better choices". After all, sometimes the hunger is just plain there. Deprivation, for me, makes me more vulnerable to eating less "friendly" foods. What the satisfying, yet still friendly, foods for you might be, is up to you to find. I am a real lover of yogurt. That not only satisfies me, but helps me fall asleep, too.

I was also always sensitive to prolactin increasing medications. Luckily, Seroquel and Seroquel XR did not increase it. Nor has Seroquel ever caused me akathisia or other types of EPS symptoms, like other APs have. Truly, once I triumphed a bit over temporary appetite increases (and initial over sedation), I found Seroquel XR to be multitudes better than the rest, in so many respects. I hope you can work out these challenges, as well.

[Ursula Shackleton]

Originally Posted by BethRags

That the Zoloft is helping you is great! I was on it for many years and found it very helpful for depression.

Enjoy your road trip, it sounds wonderful!

Thanks, Beth! We're all super excited

[Ursula Shackleton]

Originally Posted by BethRags

My entire schedule has been changed because of my kitty having diabetes. It will all smooth out a lot more once she's regulated, but there are just so many new things to learn how to do (test her blood for glucose levels, give her insulin shots, monitor her eating very carefully). I'm doing it, despite my grinding anxiety. It's annoying because my anxiety causes me to be so sleepy.

The heat isn't helping anything. 107 today. We're having a very hot summer this year.

I'm working with my breathing and relaxation, especially my shoulders. I'm trying to step back and mellow out.

Oh wow, that heat! No thanks. That sounds like a lot. *HUGS*

[Ursula Shackleton]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I got the paperwork filled out and submitted for that vocational rehabilitation program!

I should be getting a cat soon!! I lost mine a year and a half ago and have been heartbroken ever since. I can't wait to have a cat again, I miss them, they're the best.
Cleaned up my apartment today. I'm sick with something, have been coughing really badly for the past 2 days. Hopefully it goes away soon.
My psychiatrist said I could come off the perphenazine since I'm doing well on the abilify maintena injection, thorazine, and my other meds, so I stopped that the other day.

I've just mostly been resting today. I'm only getting between 4- 6 hours of sleep a night for the past week. Last night I slept 4 hours. I'm not tired mentally, yet at the same time my body is exhausted from the lack of sleep.

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. So it sounds like you're getting a new one soon? Sorry to hear about the illness too, and the lack of sleep is just really not fun when sick. Hope you feel better soon in all the ways!

[Soupe du jour]

Hubby and I cut our morning plans short because I felt quite under the weather. We headed straight home instead of going to an art exhibition in another part of southern Moravia from where we live. My foot (heel, specifically) had been killing me and I worried taxing it more would make our upcoming trip to Slovakia difficult. Also, I hadn't slept well in a number of days, and the extreme heat and increased exercise in Vienna got to be too much. When we arrived home, we both took long naps. It was quite restorative! Plus, where we live in CZ is notably cooler than in Austria. And like in CZ, almost no buildings in Austria seem to have air conditioning. The only "mercy" from the heat there, was that they have outdoor "misters" set up near some fire hydrants. I had never seen such a thing before. Attached is a photo of a girl standing in front of one.

My husband's one nephew (in his early 30s), woke us up from our naps and asked if he could stay with us tonight. He happened to be in the area. Apparently the last few nights he slept in the woods or fields somewhere (willingly - he's that type - and no tent), but last night had to resort to a parking lot because he was almost attacked by wild boars, which are very dangerous animals here. Plus, tonight it will be a major thunder and lightening storm. In any case, we are thrilled to finally see him. We hadn't seen him in almost a year. Even though he also lives in CZ, he and his female partner were particularly afraid of covid-19, so isolated from everyone until they got their vaccinations. Since we also have ours, it was a nice excuse to finally see each other. Tomorrow we'll have breakfast together and then go to a quarry swim hole to swim. Right now it's a little after 12 am. Unfortunately, I forgot my evening meds until just 20 minutes ago. I hope I won't have too much trouble falling asleep, because of that, and the long nap I took earlier today.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Ursula Shackleton

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. So it sounds like you're getting a new one soon? Sorry to hear about the illness too, and the lack of sleep is just really not fun when sick. Hope you feel better soon in all the ways!

Thank you so much! Yes, I will be getting a new cat soon, someone I know, her sister's cat is having kittens, and when she has them she said I can have one, so I can have an emotional support animal because my psychiatrist signed the papers for them

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by BethRags

That doesn't sound like a fun time, B_B. Robitussin is a good idea. Rest, rest, rest

I dread apartment inspections or maintenance. I have nothing to hide, I just get all anxious and freaked out. I hope yours goes quickly!

Thank you, I hope so too, I can't wait for it to be over with so I can relax I've been freaking myself out over this for weeks. They always go well so I shouldn't be., but my anxiety is irrational

[Sunflower123]

I had a wonderful, relaxing, much needed weekend with my daughter. We didn’t get to do much yesterday because I was under the weather but today we floated and played in the pool for several hours on a beautiful day with no one around. What a gift! She insisted on helping me with the house and wouldn’t take no for an answer. It was greatly appreciated as I’m having a hard time keeping up with it with the ongoing emergency situations I keep having with mom and brother.

I need to sit down with mom and sister to discuss brother’s care. He’s not participating in getting better and I won’t be able to keep up with all of his needs. I never thought I’d say this but he might need a good nursing home. I’ve decided to take Tuesdays and Thursdays off to start coming back from burnout. I’m also cutting out things mom and brother can do for themselves. I’ve allowed myself to be taken advantage of for years and I need to change that now.

I hope everyone has a peaceful Monday.

[Moose72]

I took my meds tonight as they are: one 300 Seroquel from the bottle and 150 from the blister packs. I also washed sheets and clothes this morning around 7. I love getting up early- today I even picked up an extra large Dunkin Donuts black coffee and brought it home and drank it with delight.

I found that cool cat song where the cat sings the melody. Funny that the cat actually made up the melody- with his owner's help by moving his hand over the cat's head.

Maybe tomorrow I will go out and get coffee again. I've given up Starbucks because they are twice + as much as Dunkin Donuts.

N1 starts her new job tomorrow!

There were police that had the intersection I mostly take to get places once I leave my complex- they had it blocked with police cars but there was a police officer directing traffic 🚦.

I shouldn't have eaten that much macaroni for dinner 🍽️. I've been super hungry. Woke up that way today. I gotta figure out some healthy snacks to get if this is what the Seroquel is going to do.

My tooth and eye have been achey off and on today. It just aches- there's no pain when biting down. I think my next check up is next month but I don't remember when so I'll have to call them tomorrow I guess.

[Nammu]

I’m reading the midnight library and finding the protagonist entitled and such a snowflake. She does absolutely nothing to help herself or change any of the situations she picks. I thought I’d be able to relate since it’s about depression and suicide but no, she’s quite un likable. But I’m less than halfway though maybe she’ll get some depth to her?

This is Sunday so I’ve not gotten dressed today. I’ll shower before bed though and change pjs. Living with mum has been good for me. I used to do sundays all week long!

[Scooter9]

My sleep is slowly reducing. I used to sleep 9 hours on meds but now I'm down to 7 without the meds.

My pdoc is back this week, I'll probably have to book an appointment. I think she won't agree to my stopping my meds but I hope she understands why I did it - that stomach pain was an 8 out of 10 based on the worst pain I ever felt.

My anxiety is also increasing. Trying to cope for now.

[wildflowerchild25]

@Moose72 and @soup du jour

Thank you for sharing you experiences! It may not be prolactin at all but I’m going to get checked just to be sure.

Soup, I am definitely going to keep trying. This is the only med that works and I simply don’t have the time or mental energy to even think about another. I’ve thought of pre-planning snacks as well. Keeping the junk food out of the house is very important. I am a picky eater though, I do not like most nuts/seeds and most raw vegetables, which would be good, energy sustaining and fiber-filled snacks. I find most fruits palatable though so at least there’s that.

On another, more serious note, RS is sick and I am very afraid of going to sleep tonight. Im afraid something will happen to him and I won’t be able to help him in time. He’s probably going to be fine in the morning, it’s just a very upset stomach and headache and he gets like that quite often. I maintain that he has IBS but he doesn’t want to see a dr about it, typical blue collar worker! He has a couple of known food associations and he ate one of those today so it’s probably that. But still, the fear lingers, since I know what it’s like to go to bed thinking everything is fine and wake up to your life completely changed.

Im going to try to sleep though at least.

[Moose72]

Didn't get up until 6:30 this morning. Went out for a coffee and came home and drank it. It was delicious.

I made a mistake last night- I made macaroni and cheese with hot dogs. UGH. So bad for you. i need to go grocery shopping for some healthy foods!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I hope your kitty gets adjusted to the changes

I find mindfulness, meditation, and yoga to be very helpful for my anxiety.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thank you so much, B_B I'm practicing meditation and trying my best with mindfulness. I usually do yoga, but have been skipping it lately. Not a good thing.

[Soupe du jour]

Finally home again, and with just Hubby. Our nephew slept over last night, and after breakfast we all went to a nearby swim hole. Then we returned home to freshen up, and then out again to a nice Greek restaurant in the downtown. The food there was delicious. I had a wonderful moussaka. I ate the whole giant piece because I was starving, as the lunch didn't happen until after 2 pm. While there, a violent thunder and lightening storm came through. We were stuck waiting in the restaurant for it to pass. Then our nephew went to see a friend, so we came home. As I type, I'm on the sofa with my alpaca blanket on. Feeeeeeeeels good! I do wish the restaurant had had baklava, but they didn't.

On Wednesday, we had planned to drive to my s-i-l's house close to Prague. There will be a rock and roll private party nearby, with an old Czech rock and roll star playing (a neighbor). Also, Hubby's other sister and brother-in-law are supposed to come from Germany. THAT we're not looking forward to, sadly. Originally we heard that they wanted to come to visit our house, but we managed to put a nix to that. Instead, my Czech s-i-l is planning a lunch or dinner party for Thursday near her home. We thought that would be the lesser of evils, but I confess I'm thinking of backing out. It's painful enough to have to see that German-based s-i-l and her husband, but we learned that even their adult daughter is supposed to come. It's just too much! They are toxic people, and I'm just not up to dealing with it. Hubby said he'll go by himself. I feel a little bad, but not bad enough. If I'm home alone for a couple days, I'll be sure to have a nice time. I'll eat everything Hubby never will. Will watch what I want on TV. Hubby feels pressured to go mostly because his sister told everyone he was coming. They'll all be speaking just Czech. The only question they'll ask me is "So, how is your Czech coming?" And now that we saw our nephew at our house yesterday and today, there's no incentive for me to go. That nephew was sort of the only reason I originally wanted to.

[Nammu]

My oldest sister drove over today and as usual mum had to clean. She mopped the kitchen floor. There’s no need to but she always feels a compulsion to clean if anybody is coming over. It’s because she judges others so she thinks everybody is judging her! It would be nice if she dropped that and relaxed.

Oh I forgot to say. My granddaughter tested negative so she just has a bad cold. She starts school next week. My grandson starts this week Thursday. I think both of them will be wearing masks. But are too young for the shot.

I drank alcohol yesterday afternoon and had a nice time. I day-drink because drinking too close to bedtime meds gives me insomnia. I'm just an occasional drinker and find it a good emotional purgative. I had tried every other coping technique i know and nothing worked so finally i decided to take a few drinks and it did the trick. My anger is gone and i feel back to my humble self. I've asked for my two hostile threads i wrote while so angry to be deleted as they don't represent how i truly feel. That was just a case of temporary aberration brought on by my anger. Thanks for putting up with me everyone and i look forward to more pleasant days ahead here on the forum.

@Soupe du jour:

If you would write me a little about your obstacle re studying the Czech language perhaps i could be of help. I've had a rocking good time studying French and German. Perhaps if we discussed it, it could help you move past your block. If you don't care to, that's fine. It's certainly up to you. You sound happy in your new situation and if learning the language is not necessary, you know yourself best. Just trying to be of service.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m kinda struggling today. I’m not sure why but my period is a week away so I assume it’s just my PMDD. I haven’t heard back from my job yet. So I don’t know what’s going on. If the manager just isn’t in yet, or they just haven’t gotten around to calling me, or if they think I’m too much of a risk with needing to take 6 weeks off in 1.5 months. You’d think they would call either way, but that often isn’t the case for anything in life.

I went to the bookstore and I got a few nonfiction books. I also went to Ace Hardware and I bought some N95 masks.

I see my Pdoc at 3:30. I want him to keep my meds the same. I kind of want to ask him how to deal with my thoughts of missing my transference therapist so much. I wonder if I could write a letter to the office or send her an email. Because I really am not making progress on this and it’s been almost 6 months. I’ve had a total of 16 therapy sessions with 2 different therapists and it is still ****ing hard.

Last night I took 30mil of melatonin. 2 time release and then my other kind that has 3 layers to it. One to relax you, one to help you fall asleep fast, and one to help you stay asleep. Then I threw in an extra 20 mil Geodon to that mix just because I felt like it. So I guess that’s like 200mil of Geodon in a couple hours. I don’t know. I’m kind of numb from it. From everything. The melatonin worked but I woke up for a bit at 12:30 to eat a bagel.

Today I just feel strange. I sent an email to my therapist explaining why I was in crisis on Wednesday and that it seemed to be related to my food issues but I have since gotten another call from the store and went on the interview on Saturday. I haven’t heard back yet from her either. I know it’s Monday morning and probably everyone is just super busy.

I plan on just reading until my appointment. Most of the books I got are in the economics and sociology category. I’m not sure what the definition of those subjects are though. I do know I got a good grade in sociology in high school and my teacher wrote on my report card “MD does very well on a difficult subject”

Oh yeah. I found out today one of my favorite teachers aides from High school died the other day. I guess that could be making me feel a bit depressed.

I was at that school 13 years ago and if some of the teachers were in there 50’s and 60’s when they worked there then I guess that makes sense that they’d start going now. That’s the second teacher from that school to die this year and my therapist from that treatment center also died this year. And I still have not properly dealt with her death since we were moving in 2 days when I found out and my nephew broke his collarbone that day too. It was a lot going on. Every time I think of her I almost burst into tears and then I immediately push her out of my mind.

[Blue_Bird]

My care manager got me an appointment for a drive through Covid test at a CVS. It’s not until Wednesday though so I’ll be inside until then.

I’m just trying to figure out what to do. I want to read but am having trouble focusing. I feel like sleeping but I can’t sleep.

I talked to the nurse at my psychiatrists office. She’s gonna talk to her and see if she can increase one of my meds so I can get some sleep

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

My care manager got me an appointment for a drive through Covid test at a CVS. It’s not until Wednesday though so I’ll be inside until then.

I’m just trying to figure out what to do. I want to read but am having trouble focusing. I feel like sleeping but I can’t sleep.

I talked to the nurse at my psychiatrists office. She’s gonna talk to her and see if she can increase one of my meds so I can get some sleep

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Bluebird, I have focus issues on Abilify too....I take fish oil for that.

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[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Bluebird, I have focus issues on Abilify too....I take fish oil for that.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Thanks, I'll ask my doctor about taking that

[Mountaindewed]

I just sent an email to my transference T. I had a session with my Pdoc. I told him how rough it was not seeing her anymore. I asked if I could email her. And he said yeah. So I just sent a pretty long email to her. I didn’t beg to be taken back. I mentioned it once but I didn’t actually ask. I actually indicated that I knew it was not the best idea. I told her the truth about why tele sessions were hard. Because I wanted her to see the transition as it was happening so she could see who I was fully becoming.

So I’m not sure. This could either be a positive experience or send me straight to IP.

But my doctor says what I’m doing is just regular dieting. It’s not an ED. Which I’ve always thought it was. Just regular dieting.

But was it a bad idea to email her? I mean I don’t know what to expect. This could really really traumatize me even more then I already am about everything. Or it could give me the closure I need with her. But at this point I feel like there’s a 50/50 chance it could go either way.

Also my Pdoc didn’t say anything about my Valium. I didn’t bring it up he just said he’d keep my meds the same. So I guess I’m allowed to continue to use the Valium. I do feel stable with the meds and the doses I’m on.

[Soupe du jour]

@Mountaindewed, I feel for you regarding your transference situation. Believe me that I have some understanding of it. I suppose what I'll say is that the email you sent will yield something. For that reason, don't regret sending it. No matter the response, or possible lack thereof.

I didn't mention this then, but I also relate to your recent job application situation. I did something quite like it, maybe six years ago. That was, in the end, likely for the best, too. Of course your application may yield something more/better than mine, but if not, again remember that such an action is an important expression of value. It's a form of communication. Communication is always better than a silence (or secrecy) that does more harm than good.

I might be wrong, but both your email to your old therapist and your recent job application seem quite related.