[Moose72]

I got up at 4:30 as usual on Saturday and have been up since. I'm not tired and it is sunny and high 60's/low 70's here! I'm wearing shorts and a sweatshirt- that's us Michiganders!- I've had my balcony door open for the breeze. Having coffee with N1 at some point.

[Moose72]

When I woke up this morning at 4:30 without my alarm I got up to use the bathroom and then when I walked into the living room, I heard this great noise that sounded like a band striking one note but very loudly. I know I didn't dream this. WTH? My hallucinations are getting worse now? Guess it's time for more Haldol... *Sigh*

[Blue_Bird]

I got the paperwork filled out and submitted for that vocational rehabilitation program!

I should be getting a cat soon!! I lost mine a year and a half ago and have been heartbroken ever since. I can't wait to have a cat again, I miss them, they're the best.
Cleaned up my apartment today. I'm sick with something, have been coughing really badly for the past 2 days. Hopefully it goes away soon.
My psychiatrist said I could come off the perphenazine since I'm doing well on the abilify maintena injection, thorazine, and my other meds, so I stopped that the other day.

I've just mostly been resting today. I'm only getting between 4- 6 hours of sleep a night for the past week. Last night I slept 4 hours. I'm not tired mentally, yet at the same time my body is exhausted from the lack of sleep.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

I stopped because I experienced extreme stomach pain last Friday. The pain lasted 6 hours and was very, very intense.

The pain was exactly like the pain I had on a recurring basis when I had a bad reaction to Lamictal about 3 years ago.

I didn't want to go through that again and I read online that the side effects of both remeron and Latuda include stomach pain. So I thought the most obvious is to stop the meds because of that.

I know it's possible that I jumped to concussions but I really didn't want to go through that stomach pain again (when Lamictal caused the stomach pain, it would come back every few weeks and stopped when my pdoc stopped the Lamictal).

Yikes, that sounds miserable. I hope you're able to use replacement meds that don't cause you to have stomach pain.

[Nammu]

Oh, oy! I’m not strong enough to dig up the Stella something day Lilly's. Mum wants them gone cause they are old and massive thorns are growing in the same patch. I got them cut down to the ground but I can’t get the shovel even a 1/2 inch in the ground. We thought we’d get them out and plant fresh day lilies in new dirt. But man, I’m weak. It will take a lot more exercise to get my back in shape for a shovel. Hoo boy!

[Mountaindewed]

My interview was 45 minutes ago. It lasted about 15 minutes. We talked about why I left the last place. The company polices at that particular store. It sounds like the store manager is a real ***** by the way he was talking about her. He was saying “she likes it done this way.” And she likes everything held to company standards” I was a complete stammering mess the whole time. I took a Valium right before I left and I felt ****ing high as a kite. I was having trouble answering some of his questions while answering others perfectly. I shook hands with him too!!! And he shook my hand and said “uh I guess we’re not supposed to shake hands.” Then he shook my hand at the end of the interview. I think so I wouldn’t feel embarrassed.

I didn’t mention that I am trans but he made some comment about being an accepting and diverse company. He mentioned the LGBTQ+ community. He saw that my status from my old job was re hirable. So I’m not sure if he had info that I was working as a female at my last job. I didn’t volunteer any info. If asked by management I will.

But he said I’m the only applicant they have received. So I guess with that fact and having worked with the company before I have a pretty? Good chance of getting the job. I’ll know tomorrow I think.

He brought up the surgery and said if I were to get hired they’d put me as a seasonal worker so I could get my surgery and then become permanent in January.

So idk. Besides the hand shaking and coming to an interview high on Valium I guess it went ok. One of the questions he asked me was what company policy I’d like to change. I had immediate brain fog and said “Um flexibility?” I have no idea if that question ****ed me over or not. Especially since he told me the store manager wants open availability on the weekend. I haven’t talked with anyone but my mom and my therapist in I don’t know how long. I was just very very nervous the whole time and I had brain fog from the Valium.

But I’m hoping for the best.

[Mountaindewed]

But if I don’t get the job I’ll accept that too. Focus on my health. Then apply elsewhere in December.

[Moose72]

I'm listening to music and am slightly sleepy as I got up at 4:30 and didn't take a nap later.

I took out the garbage today. Go me! The dishes are done except the few that I used today. I saw N1 today and that went well.

@Mountaindewed That's a good idea about having you be a seasonal worker until January when they would hire you as a permanent employee.

[Moose72]

I'm wondering if I should take some Haldol now because of the hallucinations I had this morning or if it's too late anyway.

[Mountaindewed]

I’ve been feeling queasy and headachy and cold all afternoon. I’m thinking it’s just nerves. But I’ve had my 3rd Valium, 2 extra strength Tylenol, my 180 mil Geodon, a Pepcid, 2 ten mil melatonin, different kinds, and my weekly shot all in the last hour. I still feel off. I’m sure though it’s just nerves since it has been a very stressful day and I’m scared shitless over this delta variant.

Edit: Now I’m starting to feel a bit better. So yeah. Nerves. Also I usually feel off the day I’m supposed to get my shot. After I get it I feel better.

I saw a commercial this morning for mirolax. This women was “crankypated” moody because she was constipated.

That commercial was really relatable. I always thought being cranky because your constipated wasn’t an actual thing.

[Moose72]

I can't get into chat on my laptop- only on my phone.

[Moose72]

So pdoc wrote me a new script for 300 Seroquel. But my 150 dose is in the new blister packs I just picked up. (I picked up the Seroquel 300s before the new blister pack.) And I've been not taking them but I don't know if I should or not. There are two weeks worth of the 150s and I'm not sure how many of the 300's I have in a bottle. Of course, it is the weekend, right? The after-hours people at my pdoc's office only deal with emergencies. I really think I've been doing this wrong! Of course it's Saturday night!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Moose, do you think you are taking too much or too little? I'm not sure I understood. I don't know if this helps but if they are IR pills you can break them. Breaking XR pills makes them work like IR pills.

As for your question about the haldol, I think I would just wait and see if anything else happened. That's just me but I wouldn't take my anxiety PRN several hours after having anxiety to try to prevent further anxiety and I don't take my PRN clozapine dose until I've had a few days of symptoms (bad example maybe since I do take other PRNs in that case but the clozapine is the hard core drug).

[Moose72]

This guy is really clever! He has several songs with his cat singing! Here is one example. This should put a smile on your face- I know it did mine.

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m still on the low side. I just feel horrible about my body. And I keep eating because I feel horrible and then I don’t want to go to the gym because I’m too depressed and it’s just this cycle. I think maybe I need the seroquel increased but I don’t want to tell my program because I’m supposed to discharge on Wednesday and I’m so close to going back to work.

It’s very nice today after 4 days of 95+ days and I wanted to go somewhere but then RS’s friend called and he agreed to go and help him with something. He could tell I was upset and I didn’t say I wasn’t because there wasn’t any point in denying it. I’m not sure why he didn’t just say no to his friend. He wasn’t mean about me being upset, he was upset leaving because he knew I felt bad, but he still went? If it was just a quick job it wouldn’t be bad but this particular friend is so talkative and often underestimates how complicated a job actually is. Maybe I’ll just go somewhere myself. My son is going to his coding lesson at 1pm for two hours.

I really feel like I’m going to cry and it’s so ridiculous but whatever it is what it is.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m doing pretty good today. I slept well last night. I haven’t heard back from my job yet but the manager I was doing the interview with said something about someone being out of state. So I think I may not hear anything until tomorrow. I still feel cool about the idea of going back to work.

I had to cancel my order of KN95 masks since I think they were fakes from China. Luckily I read some reviews and were able to cancel the order. I ordered another brand that is legit. They are not in stock right now so I’ll have to wait for a bit. I also ordered a book on folklore I’ve never read by a folklorist I’ve heard of but I’ve never read anything by him. They mention him on the podcast I’m listening to. I started another podcast this morning called Supernatural With Ashley Flowers. I listened to the first episode and it’s good but I like the way the 2 people on the other podcast feed off each other. With just one person it’s not as fun.

I plan on going to the bookstore in the morning if possible to get some more books on folklore and the supernatural. I used to have a big collection and then I downsized for the move. My library’s collection is awful. I moved some stuff around on my small bookcase and now I have a lot of room for more books.

My mom went to Walmart today and I asked her to get me a Glade wall plug in that had a pumpkin scented whatever those things are called. The bottles you insert into them. So now my room smells like pumpkin and it feels and smells very cozy.

My noise cancelling headphones are coming today. I’m hoping they block out noise so I can read without being distracted by outside noise. Also so I don’t have to hear the stressful stuff on the news. I wouldn’t wear them out of my house since I don’t want to look like “that” kid with autism. Even though I kind of am.

[Ursula Shackleton]

I'm leaving for a road trip tomorrow and will be gone for a couple of weeks. My husband, son, and I are going to Wyoming and staying with a friend there for a couple days and doing a few other things too. Our big thing is seeing Mount Rushmore, which I've never done. Should be awesome.

After a bunch of back and forth with my pdoc, she finally put me on a low dose of Zoloft. This is going to be day 6, and I'm doing really well on 25 mg. I'm back to writing and doing stuff normally around the house. It makes me so tired at night that my body can't resist sleeping in that goofy way it sometimes does. Pdoc wants me to go up to 50 mg after a week, but I'm slightly on the elevated side mood-wise, so I might call the office on day 8 and ask to stay on 25, depending on how I'm doing. She initially wanted to put me on an antipsychotic, but after talking to her about how my main issue is depression, she's fine with trying a low dose of an antidepressant because I've told her I've never had issues with low doses. She says if I get a mania, we'll treat it then. I love this doctor so much better than my last one. She actually seems to trust that I know my own body and how I react to things. I'd rather stay on the lowest dose for as long as possible anyway because I seem to always react the exact same way to any med: I respond *immediately* and strongly, and then they stop working after 3-6 months. The highest dose she wants me on is 100 mg, and I completely agree. I didn't have an issue last time until I was at 200 mg.

[Blue_Bird]

Still sick, been coughing all day for 3 days straight, had a headache the first day, tired, and was having chills yesterday. going to try and get tested for Covid during the week. It sucks and I don't feel good but whatever it is it's fairly mild (I'm fully vaccinated, have been since March) , could be anything really, just making sure it's not that so I don't infect my apartment complex if it is. Waiting on my sister to drop off some robitussin for me. Maybe that will help the coughing.

I'm still struggling with sleep so I'm going to call my psychiatrist tomorrow and see if I can increase my thorazine back to my old dose of 400mg.

I have an apartment inspection tomorrow or Tuesday, hoping it goes well. My apartment looks fine, I just always get nervous about them for stupid paranoid reasons. Anyway, it's a code enforcement inspection.

Hope everyone is well

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

But if I don’t get the job I’ll accept that too. Focus on my health. Then apply elsewhere in December.

I think your attitude is healthy and really good, Md.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

So pdoc wrote me a new script for 300 Seroquel. But my 150 dose is in the new blister packs I just picked up. (I picked up the Seroquel 300s before the new blister pack.) And I've been not taking them but I don't know if I should or not. There are two weeks worth of the 150s and I'm not sure how many of the 300's I have in a bottle. Of course, it is the weekend, right? The after-hours people at my pdoc's office only deal with emergencies. I really think I've been doing this wrong! Of course it's Saturday night!

UGH to med mix-ups

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I’m still on the low side. I just feel horrible about my body. And I keep eating because I feel horrible and then I don’t want to go to the gym because I’m too depressed and it’s just this cycle. I think maybe I need the seroquel increased but I don’t want to tell my program because I’m supposed to discharge on Wednesday and I’m so close to going back to work.

It’s very nice today after 4 days of 95+ days and I wanted to go somewhere but then RS’s friend called and he agreed to go and help him with something. He could tell I was upset and I didn’t say I wasn’t because there wasn’t any point in denying it. I’m not sure why he didn’t just say no to his friend. He wasn’t mean about me being upset, he was upset leaving because he knew I felt bad, but he still went? If it was just a quick job it wouldn’t be bad but this particular friend is so talkative and often underestimates how complicated a job actually is. Maybe I’ll just go somewhere myself. My son is going to his coding lesson at 1pm for two hours.

I really feel like I’m going to cry and it’s so ridiculous but whatever it is what it is.

I'm sorry, wfc

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Ursula Shackleton

I'm leaving for a road trip tomorrow and will be gone for a couple of weeks. My husband, son, and I are going to Wyoming and staying with a friend there for a couple days and doing a few other things too. Our big thing is seeing Mount Rushmore, which I've never done. Should be awesome.

After a bunch of back and forth with my pdoc, she finally put me on a low dose of Zoloft. This is going to be day 6, and I'm doing really well on 25 mg. I'm back to writing and doing stuff normally around the house. It makes me so tired at night that my body can't resist sleeping in that goofy way it sometimes does. Pdoc wants me to go up to 50 mg after a week, but I'm slightly on the elevated side mood-wise, so I might call the office on day 8 and ask to stay on 25, depending on how I'm doing. She initially wanted to put me on an antipsychotic, but after talking to her about how my main issue is depression, she's fine with trying a low dose of an antidepressant because I've told her I've never had issues with low doses. She says if I get a mania, we'll treat it then. I love this doctor so much better than my last one. She actually seems to trust that I know my own body and how I react to things. I'd rather stay on the lowest dose for as long as possible anyway because I seem to always react the exact same way to any med: I respond *immediately* and strongly, and then they stop working after 3-6 months. The highest dose she wants me on is 100 mg, and I completely agree. I didn't have an issue last time until I was at 200 mg.

That the Zoloft is helping you is great! I was on it for many years and found it very helpful for depression.

Enjoy your road trip, it sounds wonderful!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Still sick, been coughing all day for 3 days straight, had a headache the first day, tired, and was having chills yesterday. going to try and get tested for Covid during the week. It sucks and I don't feel good but whatever it is it's fairly mild (I'm fully vaccinated, have been since March) , could be anything really, just making sure it's not that so I don't infect my apartment complex if it is. Waiting on my sister to drop off some robitussin for me. Maybe that will help the coughing.

I'm still struggling with sleep so I'm going to call my psychiatrist tomorrow and see if I can increase my thorazine back to my old dose of 400mg.

I have an apartment inspection tomorrow or Tuesday, hoping it goes well. My apartment looks fine, I just always get nervous about them for stupid paranoid reasons. Anyway, it's a code enforcement inspection.

Hope everyone is well

That doesn't sound like a fun time, B_B. Robitussin is a good idea. Rest, rest, rest

I dread apartment inspections or maintenance. I have nothing to hide, I just get all anxious and freaked out. I hope yours goes quickly!

[*Beth*]

My entire schedule has been changed because of my kitty having diabetes. It will all smooth out a lot more once she's regulated, but there are just so many new things to learn how to do (test her blood for glucose levels, give her insulin shots, monitor her eating very carefully). I'm doing it, despite my grinding anxiety. It's annoying because my anxiety causes me to be so sleepy.

The heat isn't helping anything. 107 today. We're having a very hot summer this year.

I'm working with my breathing and relaxation, especially my shoulders. I'm trying to step back and mellow out.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by BethRags

My entire schedule has been changed because of my kitty having diabetes. It will all smooth out a lot more once she's regulated, but there are just so many new things to learn how to do (test her blood for glucose levels, give her insulin shots, monitor her eating very carefully). I'm doing it, despite my grinding anxiety. It's annoying because my anxiety causes me to be so sleepy.

The heat isn't helping anything. 107 today. We're having a very hot summer this year.

I'm working with my breathing and relaxation, especially my shoulders. I'm trying to step back and mellow out.

I hope your kitty gets adjusted to the changes

I find mindfulness, meditation, and yoga to be very helpful for my anxiety.

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