Bipolar check-in #62

My day was uneventful. Trying to get homework and key assignments completed. This biterm ends in 2 weeks. I can’t wait. I love my generalist practice courses. I’ve enjoyed learning to facilitate groups better than I was. Waiting to hear about peer support. Also waiting to see about field practicum-I start on the fall! I have three social work courses and a few electives and I’ll graduate next may!

Therapy was OK today, she gave me practical tips to get my day going. I have been in a bit of a rut. Hope everyone is OK.

I have the bottle of 25mg. 30 day supply of Seroquel in hand! I am actually looking forward to sleep tonight, rather than dreading it. But you know...it seems wrong to me that I have to resort to feeling guilty about using an old prescription so I can sleep because my pdoc won't prescribe a proper med for me. Sleep is a basic need. I shouldn't have to plead for it.

My blood labs came back okay...at least, nothing new or surprising.

Sidney's vet usually calls around 6, so I'm still hoping. But he probably won't call today. Understandable; he has to review her records.

And I am feeling down. Darn it. Aside from sleep, I've been doing so well. Maybe once night falls, and maybe after a decent sleep, I will feel better tomorrow.

I’m sorry things are so hard right. Glad he is okay. Why wouldn’t they keep him after an attempt? That’s just awful ! Hope your able to get things lined up quickly.

Remember in all of this to take care of you

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My heart just breaks for you Glad you are getting involved in things that will help.

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Oh hun please do write down when your taking meds and how much. I’m here if you want to talk.

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Unfortunately I did SH. Kind of in a trance. It looks worse than it is. I told RS as soon as he got home as a new policy of not hiding my true feelings from him and trusting him more. He was understandably very upset but did not get mad or yell at me. He never has but I’ve got To pull that trust out from deep inside myself and fully admit he is NOT my first husband (or mother) and has proved that time and time again.

I asked him what he thinks I should do. I told him the options pdoc had given me. Few days off work, IOP, or IP. He said he didn’t know what would be best. Id like to just be able to take a few days off but when I was all alone today things quickly went south. I’ve been relatively calm up until now. Honestly going IP on the weekend sucks, especially a holiday weekend. Id spend three days just languishing waiting for the regular doc to come in. And I don’t want to go back to the IP I was in over the summer and deal with dr Stalin again (long story on the nickname). He insisted I take lithium which is a ****** med with a lot of short and long-term side effects and it didn’t even work.

Ugh. I’m gonna try to get some sleep.

Hey Beth

I understand your worries about getting Sidney’s blood glucose readings stable ! He’s lucky to have you.

I’m glad to hear that you’re backing off seeing your T so often. I think the break might help you alot.

You’re GP is just dumb it’s always given in pre diabetes management. What a ignorant thing to say. Dumb !!

What dose Doxepin are you on? 50 does nothing for me but 100mg helps mostly. I do take 50 mg of straight Seroquel and it helps me get mostly routine sleep.

It’s likely that kitty is feral and is getting along just fine. I understand your worries.

I’d love to share my winter with you. Yesterday 68 today high was 41 or so. Down to 23 tonight. I’m just tired of winter and anxiously wish for spring minus the nasty storms.

Big hugs to you

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@Soupe du jour
[QUOTE=Soupe du jour;7180489]@tentoedsloth, " I wasn't around much yesterday to see your post here. I just want to welcome you to the forum. We all look forward to seeing you here and getting to know you and support you. I'm glad you got at least the four hours sleep. Hopefully tonight it will be at least six. Things do get better for most of us, or at least intermittently. I find the best strategy is to savor and work to extend the better times. I know struggles are inevitable periods in life, though. For all, but we with BP just have to bite the bitter a bit harder. Some call that weakness, but I see strength in getting through such times."

Thanks for the comments and support. Nope, just 5 hours of sleep, but that's almost enough. Is 6 your magic number too?
Actually I used to think life was supposed to be mostly fun. But as I've gotten older I've found out that it isn't, not for a lot of people. What was that saying, something like, "The majority of men (and women, I presume) live lives of quiet desperation." But as you say, even for us, that's not all the time.
I see you're on lamotrigine too. Pretty good stuff, isn't it? It keeps the desperation down. At least we have some help, and maybe more will come.

I’d really like to fast forward the days until Steve comes home. Today he’s really been struggling. I just feel helpless.

Hugs to anyone in need

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Hi, all,

I'm continuing to read your posts and trying to learn who you are so I can make good comments, but it's still a lot to take in. Maybe the sleep shortage is making in harder to learn, but I'm slowly getting an idea of who's here and what you're dealing with.

I had another short-sleep night last night but it was enough sleep that the day wasn't too bad. I enjoyed several things. Now it's time to start winding down and getting ready for another round. I'm going to start researching more sleep tactics; I already know about the common advice, a quiet dark cool room, no computers or smartphones for an hour before bed, a nightly routine, no caffeine after mid-day....

See you tomorrow. Have a pleasant night.

Thank you so much @BethRags
I’m really hoping that is the case!

The wedding is this December

I’m sorry you’re struggling with your sleep @tentoedsloth
Just remember to be kind to yourself and don’t put too much pressure on yourself!
I found that doing 20 mins of yoga every night helped relax me when I was struggling to sleep. Unfortunately now I have the opposite problem and seem to spend all my time sleeping

@~Christina I hope Steve comes back soon

@wildflowerchild
I hope you are managing to get some sleep. I’m so sorry you SH but well done for opening up about it and discussing it.
I’m not sure what’s best for you, maybe discussing it with close family/friends more would help?

Lots of hugs to everyone who needs it just now

I’m doing ok, but I’m struggling to get back to sleep tonight because of my anxiety levels.
I wish they would calm down.
I need to try and get some more sleep so I don’t fall asleep or ruin tomorrow by being extra specially tired (as opposed to my usual very tired).

It really helps to write down how I’m feeling and I’m really enjoying getting to know others on here
I can’t believe how kind and thoughtful you are!! It’s just so incredibly refreshing
Thank you to each and every one of you!

I've got to find that t-shirt. Hilarious!

@soup du jour

Thanks for sharing this! It's absolutely great! You must be a fun person to be around. Love the humor!

I hope you have a wonderful wedding day and many fun years, with plenty of laughter, with your soon to be spouse!

I always look forward to your updates on your university (grad school) experiences. HALLIEBETH, you are succeeding so well! I know at times it's a challenge, but I so admire how you keep going...doing great. Enjoy your break. You're almost there to claim that prize.

Thank you!!! Please send good vibes to finish my work on time!!!

I'm in a mood today. It started yesterday around 5. I finally got to try the new Baskin Robbins ice cream that taste like roses. But I had already taken my meds and melatonin before I went at 5. When I got home I was super tired and I fell asleep. It was still at my normal 6:30-7 time. My mom woke me up about half an hour later to eat shrimp. Then I fell back asleep until like 8:47. I don't know why I woke up at time. I tried a few melatonin. I tried a 20mil geodon. Finally I tried a can of coffee since it often does the opposite for me. And then I fell asleep from 2:30 until 7:15. I then chugged a Mountain Dew. But I just feel tired from last night and anxious and my stomach is off from the meds and caffeine. And I have the winter blues real bad. I have about $12 left on my Starbucks birthday gift card that I'm going to use to get a pink drink and a sandwich. Hopefully the day improves.

I got caught up with both last nights Drag Race and
last nights Celeberity Big Brother but they were both 2 hours long and even though I fast forward the commercials the day is still half gone.

I got my med box filled for next week but besides that I have not done much. My anxiety has been off and on but my physical symptoms have been fine all day and my moods have improved.

Someone I knew in high school facebok messaged me asking a bit about the trans stuff. Mainly the name I currently go by now. I asked her if she was suprised when I annouced my transtion and she said not at all and she figured it out even before I annouced it she is not the only one who has told me that. Thats why I get annoyed at the people who just suddenly annouce they are trans because they think its cool as opposed to someone like me who you just knew.

I looked through my degree progress online. In two weeks when biterm ends I’ll be a senior! I have 30 hours and I’ll graduate

Sending you positive energy...

You know you can, you know you can, YOU CAN!

Do you have your family supporting you as well as the people on MSF?

Just hanging out at home and with my son this weekend. Figured today we'd do whatever he wanted to do. So we went to World Market, and then later we're going out to dinner for chicken wings. We'll probably watch a movie at home after dinner. He's doing much better.

Decided this morning I'm going to reapply to the Department of Developmental Disabilities for him. He has a mild intellectual disability. The school district had applied on his behalf when he was in elementary school and they denied him 3 times. I gave up. He receives special education services now since 6th grade, there is no flipping reason he shouldn't be eligible.

Other than that it's just a waiting game. Sees his psychiatrist Tuesday. I was told it would take a week before anyone called me about counseling. The psychiatrist at the crisis unit had talk to me about possible making changes to his ADHD medication, but wouldn't write any prescriptions

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YEP! I cant wait to take my granny to my graduation.