Bipolar check-in #63

The bleeding has slowed down somewhat but it's still bright red and I'm still passing large clots. I called the on call obgyn and he said I should call tomorrow for an urgent clinic appointment. So I've set my alarm for 745 so I can call at 8. I hope she doesn't want to place another IUD.

Oh that sounds so awful, I’m sorry you’re experiencing that. I have terrible periods when I don’t use contraception so I can only imagine.
I’m glad it’s slowed down but I think it’s a good idea to get checked out!

I have decided that I need to start setting daily goals and to start simple. My first goal for tbis week is to shower twice a week starting tomorrow. And then friday

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Thanks so much @tentoedsloth I really appreciate your kind words
It hasn’t got better yet but I’ve just been sleeping since I wrote that post. Sometimes things just get to me and I let them. I just want this episode to be over already .
I will try and do some yoga and breathing exercises to feel a wee bit better about things/give me some time to reflect how far I’ve come in this episode. I just need to summon some motivation!

I’m so glad the therapy appt was helpful @BethRags and I’m glad you’ve worked out a schedule that is better for you.

And thank you so much for your kindness and support. You’re so incredible lovely!

I hope the pdoc appt goes as well as possible tomorrow! You’ll be in my thoughts!

I’m so glad the food finally arrived, hopefully the other one will arrive as soon as possible! What a time you’ve had getting that food! I’m so sorry you’ve experienced that!

I’d like to think NATO are doing more than they’re saying…

I’m loving my new pillow spray, it makes me feel nice and calm. My dog apparently likes it as well because he started trying to roll against my pillow- eww!

It’s just after 5am and I’m awake but I slept well.
I’m still feeling a bit defeated and my plan is to try some yoga and breathing exercises.
Hopefully that will help. I think I should start my gratitude journal again, that really helped when I was in therapy.

One of my friends wants to meet later today but I’m just not sure I have the energy. I haven’t seen her for a few weeks even though we live in/near the same city.
I’ll see how I feel in a few hours!

I’m so upset for the people of Ukraine and those in Russia who are protesting. What an awful time for them.

That’s a great idea @otroo ,but remember to be kind to yourself even if you don’t make your goals. It’s more important to show yourself compassion than it is to shower right now, ok?

I second the welcome, @atreyuh! We are always happy to see new members. It's a great place for support from people who understand.

Happy International Women's Day to all, even if you're not aware of it!

This morning is one of my husband's eye appointment days. They're always a pain...for both of us. People are still not permitted to wait inside with the patients. Only patients in masks in the waiting room. So outside I wait, either in my car, a cafe, or for a walk. I already took a long walk. There's probably an hour extra wait to go. He'd probably go alone for other types of appointments, but for his eye he needs me. At least it's not nearly as cold as last time, which was also super windy.

Yesterday I accidently took my evening meds in the morning again. What the heck?!?!? I wondered why I was so tired during the day. At night I decided to take them again, minus a little of the Seroquel XR dose. I slept well. I had to sleep because of this morning's appointment. I was sure to take my morning meds this morning. I'm not tired, but have a mild headache.

We might go to Prague next week or the one after. We'll likely drive as the train stations are packed with refugees from Ukraine. Czech Republic, like most other European countries, are supportive of them. Housing has been arranged on mass scale. On TV, they also showed how they've set up some schools for Ukrainian children. In big cities, they've found some Ukrainian teachers for them. In smaller areas where they'll be sent, they will learn the local language. That means Czech, here in Czech Republic. Yes, both are Slavic languages, but not so mutually intelligible as Czech and Slovak are. Ukrainian uses the Cyrillic writing system, like Russian. Czech, Slovak, Polish, and select other Slavic languages don't. They rather use a Roman type writing system, like English and Western and other Central European-based languages. I think this school idea is a good one. It likely helps normalize a situation for them that is otherwise so intensely stressful. Plus, the parents or other adults have a chance to do other important tasks, more easily. The Ukrainian kids who study Czech will likely progress much faster than this 50 year old Czech language student. On Czech news, they also said that 125+ Ukrainian school buildings have been mostly or fully destroyed.

I have therapy tomorrow and it can’t come fast enough. I want this done and over with so I can move on with my life with peace and happiness. It’s been tough enough that she is fitting me in twice a week right now. I’m keeping my mind focused on good things like floating (that will be here before you know it) and the Van Gogh immersive experience in Atlanta. Then there are two separate trips to Florida. I have a lot to look forward to. I’m just trying to be gentle with myself and get to the other side. I’m not there yet but I’m certainly trying my very best.

We have resumed going to the movies each Tuesday. We generally go early afternoon - around 2 - and there are barely people there. I think today we’ll be seeing West Side Story. I’m not totally excited about it but there weren’t a lot of choices. Ironic - an 18 movies theater and having trouble finding something to watch. Lost City is coming up with Channing Tatum and Sandra Bullock. I’m looking forward to that.

Sister brought over some chicken chili last night (it was delicious) and a chicken pot pie. We’re getting along better and better. It’s a miracle and a blessing.

I’ve got a busy week planned with activities each day. Hopefully that helps move things along. Most looking forward to seeing M this weekend and enjoying some wild Maine blueberry pancakes and some great coffee.

Hugs to all

Thank you for this. I'm just waiting for 8:00 so I can call. I'll update you when I get home from my appointment.

You are a wise woman, Jennifer! There will always be some sort of grief either we lose a person this or that way. So you will have to live through those moments, but let them not steal your 'here and now' or your future. There can be much to look forward too and, the way I see it, there are always some bumps in the road for all people, either they call themselves normal, sick or whatever. Life never goes on a straight line. That can be worth to remember when life does not go your way after this. We all have our bad days. I know that you believe in God. Please don't forget that you are very special to God.

I send my best wishes for your journey through this situation and forward! May your road be full of good surprises! I may take a break from the forum. Know that I am thinking on you and wishing you well!

That’s why I got my Mirena. I kept bleeding and clotting and ended up needing multiple blood transfusions to keep up with the blood loss. Hope you get it sorted!

Hi to all,

I am still in the middle of the packing. Afterward I think it will be best for me to shield myself from too many impressions from the outside. I think I need to use my strength to get the home in order, take care of my needs and add some fun "things" to my daily life. I don't think there will be enough time to read all your messages here and to answer them. I have some good friends close to the place I am moving to, so I will have good chances for good contacts. If you don't see me here, it may be that I am sitting in the sunshine enjoying to read a book, am on a hike or am in a swimming pool on rainy days. I am OK and I'm so glad that Spring is on it's way!

The war in Ukraine is there of course. May it soon come to an end!

I wish everyone on this thread a happy Spring and send good hopes for your wellbeing!

@otroo, you and your daughter are so great. You really are! It sounds like you are both saying the right things. We're not always able to do that.

After my mom died, I became closer to my dad than ever. Unfortunately, as he aged further, he became unwell. You're still young. You and your daughter have potentially a number of good years ahead of you. We all need a loving and supportive parent as long as possible. A parent surely needs their kids. One should not be totally deprived of that, if it can be helped. It's so sad if/when we are. I know.

I'll miss you here, GoGo2, but your plan for peace sounds lovely. Take care!

I can't wait to be fully recovered. I'm such an instigator irl (and on other forums, I try and hold back here because I know most people here are hurting and 'm not evil). I've been especially adversarial with my mom because I can't do my typical physical activities and I'm just straight up bored. Last night I made salmon and brussel sprouts just because I wanted to pick on her not liking healthy foods or being an adventurous eater. I love the guy that lives in the other half of our house though, we'll go back and forth "fk off!" "No, you fk off, I was born first." "Time for you to die old bastard!" lmao it's a good time I think he likes me.

But I've been taking PRN thorazine lately because I have all this energy and nothing productive to do with it

Oh and it's windy af out there today. Windiest recorded gust in the state was 131mph. No storms, just March.

I’ll miss seeing you around GoGo. I wish you health and happiness in your bright future. Please take care of yourself.

Yesterday I was trying to figure out how old my little dog was. Well the week I got her I got this CD set from this radio DJ I used to like and it had just been released it was released in 2007. My little dog is right around 15 years old. Now shes mostly blind and hard of hearing but her hearings not horrible cause she can still hear a chip bag being opened.
After my wife passed I thought I was going to have to put her down cause she was getting really confused and crying non stop I did not know if she was in pain or not. Well I could not bring myself to do it and I let her be. She stopped doing all that stuff I honestly think she was mourning the loss of my wife. Right now she is barking at me cause she wants her breakfast chicken lol.

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I slept pretty good last night for once. I took 20mil instead of 30mil of melatonin and I only took 80mil of geodon instead of the full 160. Then when I woke up at 2 I took the other 80 and went back to sleep until 5. My anxiety is a bit rough today but not about anything in particular. I went to Target and got a Quest pizza. Then I went to the library to get the book Helter Skelter. My mom didn't care and she told me a story about how when she was in college there was a rumor being spread around campus about how the FBI would be on the lookout for anyone who checked out those types of books. So all the kids started checking the books out and of course the FBI never came after them. I'm just legit interested in reading the book but my dumbass therapist will probably think something is up. I wish she would learn to trust me and know I'm not some evil person with ulterior motives. I'm just a regular guy who likes to learn about diffrent things and who has a lot of interests. But she doesn't seem to understand that. Anyways I also went to the international market and got banana Kit Kats. I may go out again later or I might just stay home and read.

called at 8. Got an appointment for 8:40. I went in right away and was only a few minutes late. It took the woman on the phone a few minutes to get me the appointment and it was almost going to be at a different clinic!

So I get there almost 5 minutes late and check in only to be called up again and get told that the doctor is overbooked and they are so so sorry- she apologized profusely and to excess I thought- but could I come back at 3:10. Of course I said yes. Also I I I Iwoke/got up at 6:30 and went to Tim Hortons. Talked with Caleb . Talked with my mom and sister in a 3 way call about Disney stuff. Now I'm at a diner waiting for my hamburger. I asked for a chocolate shake but of course they are out!

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatever2013 ... @BethRags: Sorry to hear you are doing all the heavy-lifting in your relationship with your husband. Once *i* had a near-medical-emergency in a foreign country and when i resolved it my ex yelled at *me* for scaring *him* when *i* was the one who was going to have to go to Emergency in a foreign country. It's very unfortunate they are this way. ...

Thank you, Jane I'm sorry you had to put up with such shite

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72 The bleeding has slowed down somewhat but it's still bright red and I'm still passing large clots. I called the on call obgyn and he said I should call tomorrow for an urgent clinic appointment. So I've set my alarm for 745 so I can call at 8. I hope she doesn't want to place another IUD.

Keep us posted, sweetie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pinny I’m loving my new pillow spray, it makes me feel nice and calm. My dog apparently likes it as well because he started trying to roll against my pillow- eww! It’s just after 5am and I’m awake but I slept well. I’m still feeling a bit defeated and my plan is to try some yoga and breathing exercises. Hopefully that will help. I think I should start my gratitude journal again, that really helped when I was in therapy. One of my friends wants to meet later today but I’m just not sure I have the energy. I haven’t seen her for a few weeks even though we live in/near the same city. I’ll see how I feel in a few hours! I’m so upset for the people of Ukraine and those in Russia who are protesting. What an awful time for them.

Yay! for sleeping well! What scent of pillow spray? That sounds divine, something I'd love to try.

The war has me torn apart. I hope and pray NATO is actually doing something productive. I'm not sure sanctions do anything except hurt poorer people.

I stayed up too late because I'm frustrated with lying in bed for 2 hours before I can fall asleep.


Our entire complex has no hot water - again. This happens every couple of months and takes 2 - 3 days to be repaired. I love where I live, but the water thing sure is frustrating.

I have my pdoc appt. at 2:30. I'm hoping she's in a mood to help me, rather than to blame me for "not working hard enough with mindfulness" to calm my anxiety. Frankly, I'm feeling pissy and feisty and if she rubs me the wrong way I'm liable to snap off at her.

The huge, old tree outside of my bedroom window is coming right along! The fat buds are getting fatter and jussst beginning to open.

Well, time to knock on the manager's door and find out when we'll have hot water again. *sigh*

Shimmering, sparkling, purple vibes all around ~~**~**~***