Bipolar check-in #63

Thank you. I'm not going to lie I was very excited to take that shower today. The goals I set are not major things my other goal it talk to my daughter about setting some goals for herself.the I suggested was to take her dog for like a 2 min walk lol.

Sent from my LM-T600 using Tapatalk

Lol that's funny I say double tall man all the time. Love it

Sent from my LM-T600 using Tapatalk

Welcome back @wildflowerchild25. It’s good to see you around.

After a few off days on the couch, I’m on the move again. I’ll be attending bible study and then have lunch with friends. Later on I’ll have therapy. Tonight the church drops off dinner which is always delicious.

My mood is good and I am hopeful for the future.

I was on the phone with Medicare for 3 hours last night. Yes, 3. They have an open claim from 1994 where my brother broke his RIGHT leg in a car accident. Medicare is saying that when he broke his LEFT femur this past November the two were related so the auto insurance policy should pay for it. Medicare will not currently pay for his broken femur from November. It’s almost too ridiculous to believe. I will have to go to some difficulty to get it fixed. I’ll work on that today. It’s really good I’m here as mom and brother were confused on the whole thing and would not be able to talk to Medicare or resolve the problem.

Hugs to all

Im on progesterone pills (provera). They put me on them to stop the bleeding before putting the Mirena in and I have to stay on them for a few months while the Mirena settles or I could bleed out the Mirena. But what I wanted to say is I have a history of clots (pulmonary embolisms) and have a clotting disorder and progesterone pills do have a clotting risk it’s just not as bad as the estrogen pills. My gynaecologist said the risk of me dying from blood loss was higher than the risk of a clot so I took the risk but it still worries me and will be glad to get off them in about 5 weeks. Will have been on them 13 months.

I finally was able to get in and see the dentist today! they took an Xray of the tooth that's been hurting and said the decay went deep, so they cleaned the decay out and put a filling in, thankfully it's not infected it's just that the decay was close to the nerve which is why it's been hurting so much, so I don't need antibiotics or anything, and hopefully won't need a root canal or to get it pulled, they said with it cleaned out and the filling in it it should start feeling better soon. They said next I should come in for a cleaning and full exam, so I'm going to be doing that in a week or so, walk-in again since they don't schedule those ahead of time

Hmmm I think I may be a little manic. 2.5 hours of sleep total after 200mg seroquel. I’m upset. I really don’t want to go to an outpatient program but I can’t work if I’m not sleeping. I feel like if I could get some sleep I would be ok but if seroquel isn’t taking me down I don’t know what will.

I’m calling my pdoc’s office for an intake today and hopefully I can see her ASAP and maybe go up on depakote bc that level was on the low side. I’m not super high manic, just talking a lot (not fast though) and feeling like I have a lot to do, though that’s true.

I got back from my psychiatrist appointment a little bit ago. I pretty much told him I was doing just fine, mood-wise. Just bored and impatient to get going with my life. He said I look more stable than last time. Actually, we spoke a bit more about my husband than me. He recommended his colleague for my husband and said he'd talk to her to be sure she accepts him. I hope Hubby does. He's been mighty stubborn about getting a pdoc and tdoc. The location of the office is excellent.

Hubby didn't join me for my appointment. Since my pdoc felt good about my mood, he sent me an E-Recept (prescription renewals) for 90 day supplies of all of my psych meds. That's how all doctors in Czech Republic usually provide prescriptions. They only rarely print out a prescription. E-Recepts are text messages that contain scannable barcode(s) that pharmacies need only scan to see the prescription request(s). It's linked to my name and insurance information. This allows me to use the E-Recept at any pharmacy in the country, so unlike in the US, I'm not as bound to any one pharmacy. No need for transfers. It's a good thing! If by some chance the pharmacy doesn't have a supply of a certain medication in stock (or even the whole supply), I can get it elsewhere.

There is a pharmacy (lekarna) on the ground floor of my psychiatrist's building. Normally Hubby goes with me and does any talking. I went by myself today. I told her, in Czech, that my Czech is limited. Then I said, in Czech, that I had four E-Recepty. She seemed immediately nervous. I assume because of the language barrier, yet I said all of the main things in Czech. As she filled the massive order her anxiety seem to grow. I felt for her. My only guess is that maybe she wouldn't have filled the whole order if Hubby had been with me. Maybe she only did so (giving me the remainder of the supplies) out of fear of having to explain? Who knows! Jokingly as the boxes piled up, I declared in Czech "Wow, so much!" and laughed. She laughed back, nervously. Anyway, attached is my pile of boxes. Unlike in the US, meds usually get dispensed in foil push through packs. It will probably take me more than an hour total to push all of the suckers out. Often I do so, en masse, and put them in my old pill bottles leftover from the US.

Kventiax Prolong is another name for Seroquel XR.

My whole co-pay bill for 90 days of Tegretol XR pills, Seroquel XR 300s, 200s, and 50s, plus Lamictal 100s and 25s was 375 czk, which is US $16.28. The Seroquel XRs and Pregabalin were free. Only the Tegretol XR was 300 czk ($13.12) total and the combined two Lamictals 75 czk ($3.28) total. I'm not punished for having a mental illness.

Wow that’s amazing! I just recently got most of my meds, 90 days for most but not my latuda. They will now only give me a 30 day supply. So 4 meds, with my copay was 28 something. Now the clinic asks which pharmacy you use and fax or email the pharmacy directly. If they don’t have a med you have to wait until they get it. I think you can transfer a prescription but I’ve never done so so don’t know what that’s like. Bottles of course.

That’s awesome Soupe. I’m waiting to see how much my vraylar is going to cost…of course my pharmacy doesn’t even have it in stock yet. I have some from before to get me through which is good because I knew they wouldn’t have it. I downloaded a savings card just in case. That’s what’s insane, honestly. If you can get it for cheap or even free with a free savings card then why tf is it so expensive in the first place? Oh right big pharma.

I truly hope your husband accepts some help, Soupe. It’s maddening being around someone who clearly needs help and refuses to get it. My mother and brother are they way and I just don’t like talking to them anymore about it, honestly. I’ve talked my brother off the ledge so many times and he’s still not in therapy for his alcoholism. Can’t do it. Thankfully he hasn’t drunk texted me in quite some time.

Just finished up my first appointment with my new therapist. It went well. They're going to have the office call me back to help me apply for Medicaid so I can get into Assertive Community Treatment. And my appointments will be a full hour!!! She asked about my goals for therapy and I told her I'm looking for a less chaotic life. But I kinda like my chaotic life. idk.

One of my friends has been avoiding my calls. I feel like he's mad at me. Lots of strong emotions in relation. He better have a good reason for not answering my calls or I'm gonna kick his ***.

edit: oh and I have an appointment for my hip today. I'm gonna bytch about the brace. It's near my dad's so we'll be traveling an hour or so each way.

Just got off the phone with my doctors office and I asked to be put on Seroquel. I told the girl that knew I would probably have to come in for an appointment and I know my doc would more than likely not be available cause a couple of years ago they made her the head of some big project and I told them I was ok with one of her substitute doctors.


Sent from my LM-T600 using Tapatalk

My therapy appointment went good. After she apologized for being late again and then deciding to move my sessions up 15 minutes later I asked if we could talk. I basically just told her I wasn't this werid or creepy person with ulterior motives and I wasn't pushing my feelings of my old therapist onto her. We talked about it and she said she has boundaries with everyone. I told her about last Thursday and my pdoc appointment. She didnt say it wasn't the end of the world but she was way more reassuring then he was. I told her about my panic attack in the hotel bathroom and how I really needed to email her and see if she had a session for Friday. I told her I then took my valium after being without one for 8 hours and I felt much better and I was distracted all day Friday. Basically it went good the only annoying part of the session was when I mentioned eating M&Ms for breakfast and she asked what kind. I felt like she was being a bit hypocritical after last week when she yelled at me for asking what kind of candy she liked, but I just answered her and wasn't a smartass by asking what kind of M&Ms she liked. But it went ok because I went in with the attitude of I'm going to be assertive and talk to her about things and clear the air. She still wont do a second check in like session through email even after I offered to pay for it. She's just being really strict about only doing one in person session a week and no emails.

Anyways I'm starting to feel it from being off my hormones. I'm a bit worn out but its not that bad.

This week marks the sixth week in a row that I have been going to a program called Celebrate Recovery it is a faith based 12 step recovery program and it can be for any reason not just drugs and alcohol. The funny thing is the only reason I know how long I have been going back is because the day I started back was the day they started serving dinner again lol. Heck dinner is only 4 bucks and it is all homemade food.
The thing is I can no longer sing any of the songs or even say the Serinty. Prayer anymore cause it makes me cry for some reason. I stopped going to CR cause the last time I went was Jan 3rd 2020 I was talking about my sister having cancer and her and I never got along I mean we had not talked or anything for almost 15 years but i was thinking about reaching out but she died Jan 4th. Yes I shed a couple of tears but that was it. CR shut down for awhile because of covid. Well I was thinking about going back and then my brother got murdered. June 24th 2020 and I cried a lot over that. My wife passed away in November 18th of 2021. I had lost all hope for anything at that moment. Now my daughter who is struggling with her relationship with god talked me into going back to CR two different times but I just started crying not even seconds into the first seconds of a song so I left both times.
7 weeks ago a lady I kind of knew from the program got a hold of me and kind of forced my hand and would not take no about going back to CR again. well I went and I have not stopped going back heck it was the only reason I started back to showering at least once a week. Now at the suggestion of people on this thread and even people in real life my daughter and I started going to a faith based program called Grief Share. Since I got god back in my life I do feel better I mean I wish I could go longer than a hour without crying but it is what it is.
My daughter is struggling with her relationship with god and I told her yesterday that in my opinion she could worship go or she could worship a rock. I told her what I think that makes people happy is not necessarily who or what they worship but that they do worship and that give a person hope and we could all use a little hope in our lives cause even a little can make you happy.

I'm sorry I kind of hijacked you post lately when I start to post I just keep going on and on and I end up writing a post that is a stupid book. I honestly was never like this in the past but it really feels good to get this stuff out of my head. Who knows maybe I am manic maybe I'm not. I did make an appointment to see my doctor to see about getting at least a prn med. I would also lime something that would help me sleep better than my Ambien.

Thanks again for letting me rant and sorry to Jack your thread

Sent from my LM-T600 using Tapatalk

Oh good I'm glad you finally got in and that's great that it was not infected.

Sent from my LM-T600 using Tapatalk

My daughter works nights. Well last nightbi had some stuf that has been working against our relationship since she was like 12. I got all that off my mind and I apologized to her for several things that have happened between her and I. Well I went to bed and she did not respond back to me and I was ok with that. Well I woke up around 7 and she had responded to me at like 645. I sent her a message and she was still up cause she had not been asleep since she got off work.
We had this great conversation for the longest time. I talked about some things I had done once again but not a repeat of the stuff I had already said to her I apologized for those things now I did not say anything about the stuff she had done but she actually brought up things she had done in her past this conversation went on for the longest time and we did not blame each othe for stuff from the past but we both admitted things that we had done to each other over the years and we both appologized to each other. It turned out to really be healthy for our relationship no finger pointing no arguing nothing just being open and honest with each other.
I have alway been a very honest person but I really am not a very open person it is hard for me to open up to others. That's why I never got anything out of counseling because I have trust issues and I won't open up to people because I did not trust them. After my wife died I decided to start being more open with my feelings at least with my daughter and I am ok with that. The other problem I have is I don't like to accept offers of help and I refuse to ask for help I am getting a little better about that though but I am really good at telling people that I am fine and I am doing good and a majority of them believe me. The ones that call me out on that are the friends I have made from attending Celebrate Recovery I love those guys.
The other place I have found that I can open up at is here and specifically this thread. I don't know if it is because of the fact that you are strangers or what. I have written here more since I started posting here then I probably have written in the past 10 years. I do know one thing about here that has helped me become more open is I have never gotten the feeling of being judged here and I thank everyone in here for that it really means the world to me. Well thanks for letting me rant I greatly appreciate it it really means the world to me. I think I will have chilli for breakfast.

Sent from my LM-T600 using Tapatalk

Think long and hard before you call a lawyer to get divorced! Lawyers will listen to your sob story and say "Awww... yes you should divorce him..." and you'll be off to the races down that path. What would a divorce mean to you in terms of supporting yourself, your health insurance, your income, ability to pay rent, etc. (Not to mention that it costs quite a bit to get divorced.) Trust me- I don't think I would've divorced my husband and broken up the family if i had had a chance to think about it more fully before I made that call to the lawyer.

Wow that sounds like you have it bad, too. I'm going on the progesterone- not provera, but Norethin- starting today for an indefinite amount of time. I specifically asked my gyn if the progesterone had the same risk as estrogen and she said no. She didn't follow it up with "but there is still some risk..."! My bleeding is down to needing a liner only now so that's good.

Quote:

Originally Posted by otroo Well I actually took a shower today I had gotten into the habit of only taking a shower on Fridays since my wife passed away. When my wife passed away I don't know how long I went without taking a shower and my kid was over and she gave me a hug before she left and she told me I stunk and that I needed a shower lol. I absolutely hate the fact that my wife passed away but if anything good has come from it is my relationship with my kid it is the best it has ever been. I love it that we don't ***** foot around telling each other something we both just get right to it. I really love my kiddo she means the world to me I wish I could give her some relationship advice but like I said before I refuse to get involved. Sent from my LM-T600 using Tapatalk

It can be interesting, how life goes like that. My daughter has stopped communicating with me. We were extremely close, then she suddenly said she "needed space." That was 3 years ago. She's going to grad school in New York, so she's not even in this area anymore. I grieve my relationship with her - but as a result, my son and I have become very close. I always gave so much attention to her that I didn't really develop a deep relationship with him. He's such an awesome young man, I'm delighted to have him in my life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72 Now- for my appointment... I saw someone who was working with the doctor I actually had the appointment with- he was learning OB/GYN stuff even though he really was going to be something else. However, he asked good questions and gave me good answers to my questions. After a while, the doctor I had scheduled with joined us. She wants me to get bloodwork- which I did after my appointment- to check to see if I'm in menopause or peri menopause. She said a hormone level gets higher when you're in peri - a hormone that has to do with getting you to ovulate. Might be FSH, not sure. She also said my bleeding was likely not due to taking the IUD out and that the progesterone in it just sits locally and doesn't get into your blood stream. She wants me back in 3 months to see if I want an IUD again if the bleeding keeps up. There's no guarantee that I'll have another period or bleeding episode but she's putting me on oral progesterone once a day and twice a day if I have have heavy bleeding again. One can never tell if I'm going to have another bleeding episode again. She said it's okay for the lining to not release after it's built up but I still find this odd. She said the lining doesn't build up as much with the Mirena IUD and it shouldn't on the pills either. I asked if the progesterone pills have anything to do with my blood clot history but she said no, that's just estrogen. She did a manual check of my cervix and uterus and ovaries along with looking at my cervix. Everything seemed normal but she wants to verify so I have to get a transvaginal ultrasound. With that, they want you to drink ungodly amounts of liquid an hour before your appointment and not pee until your appointment is over! I remember those days! I still don't understand how the full bladder makes it easier to see other body parts, but whatever. I guess I'll literally have to suck it up and drink that much! In 3 months, I have scheduled an IUD placement appointment just in case I want another one if I continue to bleed like this. I bet I don't have another period or any bleeding once I'm on the progesterone pills. As for the bleeding it's turning brown with some red still and its barely there anymore. I've been fooled by it before though- think its ending and then more red bleeding and clots. It's got to end soon though, I would think, being that this is day 4.

Okay, I was going to suggest that you ask for an ultrasound, so I'm glad you're going to have one. Uggggh, I know - the full bladder thing prior to the u/s is sooo miserable. It feels good to pee afterwards, though

I don't understand about not shedding the uterine lining, either. ??

It sounds like you're having all the bases covered, which is great. Now i just hope the bleeding does stop.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72 Think long and hard before you call a lawyer to get divorced! Lawyers will listen to your sob story and say "Awww... yes you should divorce him..." and you'll be off to the races down that path. What would a divorce mean to you in terms of supporting yourself, your health insurance, your income, ability to pay rent, etc. (Not to mention that it costs quite a bit to get divorced.) Trust me- I don't think I would've divorced my husband and broken up the family if i had had a chance to think about it more fully before I made that call to the lawyer.

I agree with Moose, Mm. Please don't rush to divorce. Also, although San Fran is a magnificent city it is so expensive that a lot of people are moving away. For example, my son and his wife live in a third floor flat with 1 bedroom and another tiny bedroom, 1 bathroom, a living room, a kitchen - and they pay just under $4,000/rent. Such prices are not at all unusual in the city.

It's basically stopped now. Just wearing a liner and no spotting in a few hours!

Md, your smartassness cracks me up I think you should ask her which color of M&M she likes best (Me, I like green.)

Soupe - yeah, those drug prices. My God, how badly we are being ripped off here! Ugggghhhhh. Oh, BUT we must NEVER have "communist health care" *rolls eyes*

Blue, I am so glad you finally got your tooth worked on! That's such good news.


So we still have only cold water and no plumber's truck is in sight. I so want to take a shower. If a plumber doesn't show up soon, we can kiss hot water good-bye for today. It's been over 36 hours, this is not legal, and I'm really, really p.o.'ed. I pay a damn $1,000/month rent here.


And I'm furious with NATO. Let's do a repeat of WWII, good idea, right?

I did sleep well, but not long enough, I'm tired. All the kitties are snuggled up on the bed, which is bathed in warm sunlight. It's an adorable sight.

Sidney's special food finally came and her new vial of insulin finally, finally shipped! She's holding her own, but her glucose numbers could be a bit lower.

Warm days, pleasantly cool nights, no rain predicted.

Love to each and thanks for putting up with my crabbiness

Aww I’m so sorry to hear about your lack of hot water @BethRags . That must be so frustrating!
And I can’t believe how long you’ve had to wait for Sidney’s food and insulin. What a shame!

I hope you manage some more sleep so you feel a bit more refreshed!
And you’re not crabby at all, you’re so lovely!
I hope the rest of your day goes well! Lots of hugs

I’m glad to hear that @Moose72
And I’m glad you’re getting everything checked out! Hopefully it’s all fine and there is no more bleeding!
Lots of hugs