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  #1126  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 07:19 AM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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@BeyondtheRainbow
Sending healing and calming vibes your way! Do let us know when you can but take your time.

@Jennifer 1967
That is a high fever and I’m glad you have that appt today. Good luck and I am sending healing vibes your way.

@otroo
When my first husband passed away I felt the same. The fact that you did not wake up in the middle of the night for once means that yes, you are healing. Give yourself grace and kindness. Don’t hold yourself to a timeline; everyone grieves differently. I believe it took me around 2 years to stop crying on anniversaries. And I don’t cry. Sending healing vibes your way as well!
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
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Thanks for this!
*Beth*, BeyondtheRainbow, otroo, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123

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  #1127  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 07:30 AM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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My son is still pretty sick. It’s just a random virus or a nasty cold I guess but it’s really taking him down. I will be doing program virtually today and keeping him home from school. Hopefully another day of rest will help him feel better. I hate when he’s sick, I worry so much. I was afraid to go to sleep in case he needed me. I only took one seroquel because I didn’t want to be completely knocked out should he need me in the middle of the night, but he slept through.

The gabapentin didn’t seem to make me nauseous this time, we’ll see after I eat breakfast. I didn’t go to sleep nauseous so that’s an improvement. The dr told me to take the inderal as needed but when I don’t take it my heart rate jumps to 100+ so I guess I need it.

Today begins my low fat diet which I hope will help with whatever stomach issues I am having. I’m having trouble bingeing which I do believe is due to gallbladder but the ultrasounds never show stones so I guess I’m waiting for my GI dr to do her thing. I have an endoscopy scheduled for the end of June to start with.

I seem to be coming down from the mania but I’m still spending so I need to rein that in. I’m trying to take a minute to think first. I did buy bigger shorts for the summer, I know the ones I have won’t fit right now. And a nice white shirt for a bridal shower I have coming up on Saturday. It’s unfortunate that it is a wine tasting, I guess I need to stay away from the reds
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Anonymous 42424, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
  #1128  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 08:53 AM
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Mountaindewed Mountaindewed is online now
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The cat is at the vet now. I hope he tolerates the anethesia well and they don't make him look too bad. I maintained my weight from yesterday. I was concerned about the carbs but it worked out. I am working on eating more later in the day then eating most of my calories before noon and basically be starving the rest of the day. So far I've done ok today with my hunger. I switched my meds around on Friday with my doctors permisson and it seems to have made a difference in my moods and anxiety but I do seem to be more hungry. I've been using a lot of distraction and drinking unsweetened iced teas. I hope I get used to the change. I have my trip tommorow and I have my dinners planned out but I'm still unsure on the rest of the days. I'm thinking all the moving around will help since I barely leave my house.
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  #1129  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 08:54 AM
Soupe du jour Soupe du jour is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow View Post
I’m at the hospital waiting for pre-op registration. Anxiety is high.
I hope everything goes very smoothly, BeyondtheRainbow. All the best!
__________________
Dx: Bipolar type 1

Psych Medications:
* Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg
* Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg
* Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 500 mg

I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia.
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Thanks for this!
BeyondtheRainbow
  #1130  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 08:59 AM
Anonymous 42424
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@wildflowerchild25

Sorry to hear that your son is still sick. Hope it helps to keep him home for a day.

Good Luck with your low fat diet and best wishes for coming down from mania!

@jennifer1967 Hope you get the help you need for your rash!

To all that suffers now: I wish you all the best!
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25
  #1131  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 09:19 AM
Anonymous 42424
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoGo2 View Post
(...) I saw therapy as some kind of help to grow. Since I am not among the young anymore, I felt I had done my part of growing. But there it lies, that I am not young anymore. We grow up and have to deal with whatever childhood we had. In addition there is all the holes in social competence (what to talk about, music, society or whatever). What others got of no cost in their homes while growing up, some of us has to set apart time to learn later. I did, believe me, I really did when I was in the student age. It takes a lot of time and comes on the top of busy days with study/work, childrearing, being a partner and so on. Nobody who has not gone through something similar understands about the costs of recovering from a hurtful past.

In my life, after I felt that the psychological job was done, somebody hurt me so badly as a grown up and that took away years of my life that could have been good. At the top came the isolation for almost two years due to Covid. I think that what I am experiencing now is about having missed continuing opportunities to be social and to learn more about social competence. I can talk about the Beatles and those sort of "things", but I lack more recent competence. One of my best friends has died during these two last years. I feel that I do not fit in, now. To suddenly being together with people with other standards then mine, is what has made this depression break through.

I feel a bit better today, but am glad I ordered an appointment with my former therapist. We will have to sort out where I can belong, feel accepted, and how to behave when I have to attend groups that I do not fit into.

Sorry for the long rant, but it felt strange to suddenly be in a "I wish to die" state. To know that I soon will be able to talk to a therapist that already knows me from before is a relief.


I am so thankful because the forum exixsts.

I have done the dishes, visited a cafe and been on a walk in a park. As a coincidence, just fit for my situation, I found an article on my phone about how hurtful it is to not feel noticed when among others. It is a cruel thing to put others down by letting them feel that they are an outsider to you.

I feel better, but at the same time, I have some sort of heaviness in my body, as if I have something really heavy to carry, and so I have! It is good that a therapist is waiting later in the week.

For now I am resting. After that I plan to put away my Easter things and then make dinner. I will shower before bedtime and make myself ready for a trip in nature, tomorrow, with other friends then those I met yesterday.

Sending good wishes to all!
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Nammu, Sunflower123
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Sunflower123
  #1132  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 09:22 AM
Soupe du jour Soupe du jour is offline
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Location: Czechia
Posts: 5,172
@Jennifer 1967, I'm also sending well wishes that your rash eases quickly. I know some do.
__________________
Dx: Bipolar type 1

Psych Medications:
* Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg
* Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg
* Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 500 mg

I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia.
Hugs from:
Sunflower123
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
  #1133  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 09:31 AM
Soupe du jour Soupe du jour is offline
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Location: Czechia
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Hubby and I are taking it easy this morning and will go into the city in the afternoon. We walked a lot yesterday, despite me wearing dressier than usual shoes, which I'm not used to. My feet now hurt. Only Skechers sneakers today!

I thought getting into the city from Newark would be easier and quicker. It could be if we took the train (NJ Transit) to NY Penn Station, but instead Hubby wants to take the subways the whole way (PATH with transfer) since it's cheaper by $4 each, each way. I told him we must do the train on the night we're going to a concert. I want to wear a dress that night. For someone whose never taken a NYC subway, it is an "experience" of sorts, but after decades of going into the city now and then, they are just now miserable.
__________________
Dx: Bipolar type 1

Psych Medications:
* Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg
* Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg
* Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 500 mg

I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia.

Last edited by Soupe du jour; Apr 25, 2022 at 10:08 AM.
Hugs from:
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  #1134  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 10:16 AM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags View Post
I'm so done. I can't find a place in my mind that feels safe enough to hide in. I can't even think of any more words to write about how I'm feeling.


Sending peace to all and wishes for an easy surgery (well, as easy as surgery can be) and a healthy outcome for Rainbow. Also much concern about Jennifer.
Sending some sparkly purple vibe rays your way. ✨
__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



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Thanks for this!
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  #1135  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 12:24 PM
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Moose72 Moose72 is online now
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Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 18,596
Jennifer, I hope your appointment went well today. I hope your doctor can make you feel better in addition to a diagnosis.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Risperdal .5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
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Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Sunflower123
  #1136  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 12:25 PM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is offline
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School is gonna be the death of me. Panic is back
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type
PTSD
generalized anxiety d/o

haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin
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Thanks for this!
~Christina
  #1137  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 12:45 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
catches the flowers
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
Quote:
Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 View Post
My son is still pretty sick. It’s just a random virus or a nasty cold I guess but it’s really taking him down. I will be doing program virtually today and keeping him home from school. Hopefully another day of rest will help him feel better. I hate when he’s sick, I worry so much. I was afraid to go to sleep in case he needed me. I only took one seroquel because I didn’t want to be completely knocked out should he need me in the middle of the night, but he slept through.

The gabapentin didn’t seem to make me nauseous this time, we’ll see after I eat breakfast. I didn’t go to sleep nauseous so that’s an improvement. The dr told me to take the inderal as needed but when I don’t take it my heart rate jumps to 100+ so I guess I need it.

Today begins my low fat diet which I hope will help with whatever stomach issues I am having. I’m having trouble bingeing which I do believe is due to gallbladder but the ultrasounds never show stones so I guess I’m waiting for my GI dr to do her thing. I have an endoscopy scheduled for the end of June to start with.

I seem to be coming down from the mania but I’m still spending so I need to rein that in. I’m trying to take a minute to think first. I did buy bigger shorts for the summer, I know the ones I have won’t fit right now. And a nice white shirt for a bridal shower I have coming up on Saturday. It’s unfortunate that it is a wine tasting, I guess I need to stay away from the reds

Aw, poor kid. I hope he starts to feel better today. It's good that you stayed home, that will give him comfort.

My "kids" are in their 30's, but I still worry about them. I don't think it ever stops.
__________________




  #1138  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 12:48 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
catches the flowers
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nammu View Post
Sending some sparkly purple vibe rays your way. ✨

Thank you, Nammu That made me smile. I guess there's nothing better on this earth than sparkly purple vibe rays.

My T made room, so I do have an appt. with her at 2 this afternoon. I sure hope it helps 'cause I need help right now.
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  #1139  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 01:35 PM
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Mountaindewed Mountaindewed is online now
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My cat came back from being groomed and he looks like a drowned rat. But at least he isn't matted or smells bad anymore. I am so anxious right now. I want a chli cheese dog and an order of chili cheese fries so badly. I have throat and mouth anxiety which is never fun. Its making me even hungrier. This extreme hunger has been going for like 4 days and all I can do is continue to use distraction and eat low carb and high protein stuff and try not to deny myself anything. It sucks though.
__________________
"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka
  #1140  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 01:45 PM
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Moose72 Moose72 is online now
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Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags View Post


Thank you, Nammu That made me smile. I guess there's nothing better on this earth than sparkly purple vibe rays.

My T made room, so I do have an appt. with her at 2 this afternoon. I sure hope it helps 'cause I need help right now.
Have a good T appointment!
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Risperdal .5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #1141  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 01:57 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow View Post
I’m at the hospital waiting for pre-op registration. Anxiety is high.
Hope it’s all over with now and you are on your way home. Soothing healing vibes your way.
__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



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  #1142  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 02:04 PM
Anonymous 42424
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soupe du jour View Post
Hubby and I are taking it easy this morning and will go into the city in the afternoon.
I hope it will be OK to go into the city this afternoon. Wishing you well!
Hugs from:
Soupe du jour
  #1143  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 02:07 PM
Anonymous 42424
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Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags View Post


(...)

My T made room, so I do have an appt. with her at 2 this afternoon. I sure hope it helps 'cause I need help right now.
Hope your T-appt is beneficial!
Hugs from:
*Beth*
Thanks for this!
*Beth*
  #1144  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 02:11 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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I went to the dermatologist. I originally had a heat rash in several areas from being out in the sun. When I showered that day, I used some lemon verbena soap from Trader Joe’s and had an allergic reaction on the heat rash spots that caused them to be red, raw, blistered, weeping and welted. Oh boy, did it hurt. Most of the problem slowly started going away but I have a few areas that deteriorated and became badly infected. I feel like such a dope. The fatigue, pain, fever and what I was seeing should have prompted an immediate visit. I failed to see it. Fortunately, we have a course of treatment now and I am on the proper things to resolve this. Thank you all for your concern. A valuable lesson learned. Know when to seek help.

I hope everybody has a peaceful evening. Hugs to all!
Hugs from:
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Thanks for this!
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  #1145  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 02:12 PM
Anonymous 42424
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 View Post
School is gonna be the death of me. Panic is back
I am so sorry to hear that, HALLIBETH! Sending hugs your way!
  #1146  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 02:15 PM
Anonymous 42424
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Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
I went to the dermatologist. I originally had a heat rash in several areas from being out in the sun. When I showered that day, I used some lemon verbena soap from Trader Joe’s and had an allergic reaction on the heat rash spots that caused them to be red, raw, blistered, weeping and welted. Oh boy, did it hurt. Most of the problem slowly started going away but I have a few areas that deteriorated and became badly infected. I feel like such a dope. The fatigue, pain, fever and what I was seeing should have prompted an immediate visit. I failed to see it. Fortunately, we have a course of treatment now and I am on the proper things to resolve this. Thank you all for your concern. A valuable lesson learned. Know when to seek help.

I hope everybody has a peaceful evening. Hugs to all!
We all make mistakes, Jennifer! Good recovery!
Hugs from:
Sunflower123
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
  #1147  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 02:17 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
I went to the dermatologist. I originally had a heat rash in several areas from being out in the sun. When I showered that day, I used some lemon verbena soap from Trader Joe’s and had an allergic reaction on the heat rash spots that caused them to be red, raw, blistered, weeping and welted. Oh boy, did it hurt. Most of the problem slowly started going away but I have a few areas that deteriorated and became badly infected. I feel like such a dope. The fatigue, pain, fever and what I was seeing should have prompted an immediate visit. I failed to see it. Fortunately, we have a course of treatment now and I am on the proper things to resolve this. Thank you all for your concern. A valuable lesson learned. Know when to seek help.

I hope everybody has a peaceful evening. Hugs to all!
Ooo good thing you had that appointment today! Glad it’s taken care of now. Whew
__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



Hugs from:
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Thanks for this!
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  #1148  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 02:49 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
catches the flowers
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
I went to the dermatologist. I originally had a heat rash in several areas from being out in the sun. When I showered that day, I used some lemon verbena soap from Trader Joe’s and had an allergic reaction on the heat rash spots that caused them to be red, raw, blistered, weeping and welted. Oh boy, did it hurt. Most of the problem slowly started going away but I have a few areas that deteriorated and became badly infected. I feel like such a dope. The fatigue, pain, fever and what I was seeing should have prompted an immediate visit. I failed to see it. Fortunately, we have a course of treatment now and I am on the proper things to resolve this. Thank you all for your concern. A valuable lesson learned. Know when to seek help.

I hope everybody has a peaceful evening. Hugs to all!
For all sorts of reasons it seems hard for many of us (with mental illness) to seek help for physical problems when we really should. I'm glad you went in this morning. How absolutely horrible to have such a reaction! Good Lord. Once I washed my body with neem soap and it burned...and the burning got worse, like fire, until I felt like tearing my skin off. I was in the shower, rinsing myself off over and over, but the stuff just kept burning my skin. I don't recall how it resolved, but I know I'll never go near neem oil again.

I hope the treatment acts quickly to resolve the agony you've been through. If you continue to have problems, will you please go back to the doctor?

Take good care of your wonderful self, Jennifer And thanks for checking in. I was really concerned about you, especially because you tend not to put yourself first.
__________________




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  #1149  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 03:03 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 76,792
Beth have a good session

Soupe, have fun in nyc

All that preparation and I hardly slept! I have a little window after I take my meds. I need to put the book down and turn the lights off and empty my mind. But last night I read too long and then I thought about a ton of stuff instead of doing my zen mind and I was mostly up all night. The thought of going out, it was below 32F just to get in a pool , 🥶 no. But I did go to fitness class. I really don’t want to add a med at this point though so I’ll see how it goes tonight. Maybe Tuesday night? I just started the new dose of 17.5 so not yet if I can help it.
__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



Hugs from:
*Beth*, Anonymous 42424, Soupe du jour
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Soupe du jour
  #1150  
Old Apr 25, 2022, 03:26 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
catches the flowers
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nammu View Post
Beth have a good session

Soupe, have fun in nyc

All that preparation and I hardly slept! I have a little window after I take my meds. I need to put the book down and turn the lights off and empty my mind. But last night I read too long and then I thought about a ton of stuff instead of doing my zen mind and I was mostly up all night. The thought of going out, it was below 32F just to get in a pool , 🥶 no. But I did go to fitness class. I really don’t want to add a med at this point though so I’ll see how it goes tonight. Maybe Tuesday night? I just started the new dose of 17.5 so not yet if I can help it.

Darn it, I'm sorry your sleep wasn't good. I'm amazed that you continue to attend fitness classes on so little sleep. That takes commitment. I admire you.
__________________




Thanks for this!
Nammu
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