Bipolar check-in #65

~Christina · May 07, 2022, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

I didn't take anything to sleep last night, tried to make it on my own. I actually fell asleep easily, but kept waking up. Felt like I never slept deeply. I got up at 5:30 to do Sidney's glucose test and insulin shot, but felt like hell. Headache and bleck stomach. So I ate some oatmeal, which helped, and took Tylenol PM. Nothing on a time schedule today, so if I sleep until noon it would be wonderful.

Well, that's my exciting update, haha. I hope everyone has a pleasant and peaceful Saturday

Wish you had slept better I had a night of waking up sleep the other day. It’s so exhausting! Hopefully tonight you will catch up

Your mention of kids… when we lived in Florida those 8 months the handful of times Steve’s Granddaughter came over I simply put Dexter and Sirius in the bedroom. I wasn’t going to have my babies stressed with a kid in the house. I’ll admit this because I don’t care. I honestly don’t like kids..they are loud , messy and get into stuff they shouldn’t LOL ! I figure I raised my daughter and that’s enough! She was a easy kid LOL

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~Christina · May 07, 2022, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoxOfRain

Why am I always so bummed out on Saturday? I want to go to the comic store today but my foot hurts and my wallet is lost. I slept till noon which most people would enjoy, but I feel way behind on all that nothing I had planned for today. Isn’t this supposed to be the fun, relaxing day of the week?

Sorry that your day isn’t going the way you’d like. I understand. Hope it improves

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~Christina · May 07, 2022, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by giddykitty

Feeling bad. I have zero plans for mothers day tomorrow. It kinda snuck up on me. Why are there all these days to make us feel guilty?

Could you maybe do something just for yourself? Even if it’s small ? Self care is important and even more so on holidays.

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*Beth* · May 07, 2022, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Wish you had slept better I had a night of waking up sleep the other day. It’s so exhausting! Hopefully tonight you will catch up

Your mention of kids… when we lived in Florida those 8 months the handful of times Steve’s Granddaughter came over I simply put Dexter and Sirius in the bedroom. I wasn’t going to have my babies stressed with a kid in the house. I’ll admit this because I don’t care. I honestly don’t like kids..they are loud , messy and get into stuff they shouldn’t LOL ! I figure I raised my daughter and that’s enough! She was a easy kid LOL

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Yes, you were wise to put the pups in their own safe space. My cats will hide - most of them, but Sidney is very friendly and affectionate and I'd lose it if she was mistreated in any way.

I always worked with kids, had a load of nieces and nephews who were not that much younger than I, and of course, my own kids. I so enjoyed being around kids more than adults. But as I've gotten older, yes...it's happened. I've become less tolerant. I don't want my stuff or my cats disturbed and noise irritates me.

How old were you when your daughter was born?

~Christina · May 07, 2022, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by otroo

I had a pretty good trip. I would get depressed most evenings of my trip when I was done riding for the day cause I could not stop thinking about my wife. Originally I was going to put some of her ashes in bags and put them in important places to us. I did not do it this time like I had planned. Next time I will do it. I am really depressed being home right now. It has been raining here the last couple of days and I did enough riding in the rain the weeks I was gone and plenty of wind. When it clears up here I will be back to riding. I am working on getting my criminal background cleared out. I hired an attorney to get rid of my 1 felony and 3 misdemeanors from almost 26 years ago. My felony was attempt to Elude a police officer. I was doing 155mph and hour in a 65. My distributor snapped and I lost all power and had to stop. It is what it is. I have not been in trouble for years. This is a picture of the first house we lived in. It looks exactly the same except they added a parking spot in front of the house. It is the same color as it was almost 24 years ago lol. My wife and I had talked about going to those rocks for years but the last 2 times we were out there we forgot all about them lol. I made it out there on this trip. I rode in Temps from 36f all the way up to 85 so a little chilly to nice weather I rode in the pouring rain for a couple of days for hours on end. I rode for hours from Iowa to Nebraska it was like 45 mph steady with highs of like 75mph. I should of called it a day sometimes hours earlier but nope I just kept riding. I was averaging like 45mpg but in the wind it dropped down o 32mpg . I still had fun I wish I was still out there but I need a little break from my break. I'm going over to Washington near Olympia to a motorcycle race. It is on highway 101 and that starts in Olympia Washington and I have a dream of taking highway 101 from beginning to end. That was going to be the first long ride when we got out big boy bikes lol. She was going Harley Fat Bob and I Was going Indian Chief and that was what I got the 21st of April. I rode 3 weeks all over the place I rode all over a bunch of our bucket list rides we had planned to do together. I did them but I only did one in Arkansas and that was The Pig Trail. I should of went up further North but I know better to next time. I had a good ride even with all the weather. I did 5700 miles and some change. I am depressed to be home. I think I have a med manager appointment next week. Need him to start me on another anti depressant maybe bring me out of this hole. I also need some good weather to get out and ride. Bipolar check-in #65

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What beautiful pictures. Thank you for sharing ! Do you have plans with your daughter for tomorrow?

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*Beth* · May 07, 2022, 06:35 PM

I'm going to do more fun stuff to my hair and hope I don't ruin the color.

So it's Mother's Day tomorrow with all the expectations and pressures. This will be the 4th Mother's Day in which I haven't heard from my daughter. The daughter who was my also precious friend and sidekick - and me having the honor of being her mom. I'm as clueless as I have been for these past few years. She's my N1 (Moose and I both have all N's ).

My N2, my son Noah, will call. So there's that. It's just that when they were little we had such special times together. I always thought we'd be gathered together on special days, like Mother's Day. Never in all my imagination did I think I'd be alone, waiting for a call. It's crazy.

I think what I'll do is treat myself to sleep by taking a 25mg Seroquel. Maybe I can actually make it to bed a little bit early tonight.

I've had a rotten conflict with someone, not the end of the world, but it's crummy. Anyway....

Happy daisy vibes to all~**~***~**~*

Moose72 · May 07, 2022, 07:40 PM

Ok. This is ticking me off now! Facebook or Instagram keeps popping up a "page" on my phone asking for my birthday. There's a link that supposedly says why but it just says that it's to keep 13 and unders from using "Meta". Like I said- it's annoying the hell outta me! I just close it every time but I shouldn't have to! I'm not entirely sure it's not a scam.

Nammu · May 07, 2022, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Wish you had slept better I had a night of waking up sleep the other day. It’s so exhausting! Hopefully tonight you will catch up

Your mention of kids… when we lived in Florida those 8 months the handful of times Steve’s Granddaughter came over I simply put Dexter and Sirius in the bedroom. I wasn’t going to have my babies stressed with a kid in the house. I’ll admit this because I don’t care. I honestly don’t like kids..they are loud , messy and get into stuff they shouldn’t LOL ! I figure I raised my daughter and that’s enough! She was a easy kid LOL

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Yeah the grandkids understand my guy is off limits. He does come out more now that they are older. They do understand that it’s a big compliment to them that he lets them pet him. I do find it exhausting though to have the grandkids over. They have so much energy.

Beth I’m so sorry your daughter hasn’t articulated why she’s no contact. That has to be hard on Mother’s Day.

wildflowerchild25 · May 07, 2022, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

Three books in a day?? I usually finish a book in a week if I read every night before bed.

I didn’t have many friends growing up lol and my home situation wasn’t great so I turned to books. I’ve always been a bookworm! That’s the only reason I can read so fast haha.

wildflowerchild25 · May 07, 2022, 09:49 PM

@*Beth*
I missed it, what color did you do your hair? And what are you planning to do? I have a blue (now it’s more teal) ombré and after I save enough money from my part time job I’m going to change it to purple. I used to be able to do it myself but I’m not that talented with longer hair!

wildflowerchild25 · May 07, 2022, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

The first time I felt real humidity was when I stepped out of the airport in San Antonio. It was 3 a.m. and I thought something was wrong somehow. It was as if a warm, damp washcloth had suddenly been put over my nose and mouth. I asked my sister-friend, Cindy, what was going on and she laughed and said, "Honey, that is Texas humidity!"

Then I was in Memphis in August. I was in a shower in our motel room and I was literally sweating while showering. Quite an experience! I'm used to dry, desert-like heat, like an oven.

The nice thing about humidity, though, is that everything stays so green.

Nj has its share of humid days in the summer and yes, it is rather suffocating! I get the “sweating in the shower” thing too. That’s when you have to turn the temp down a bit haha!

*Beth* · May 07, 2022, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Nj has its share of humid days in the summer and yes, it is rather suffocating! I get the “sweating in the shower” thing too. That’s when you have to turn the temp down a bit haha!

Yuck. Probably like NYC in the summer. Once in a very rare while we'll have a rainy day that's kind-of warm. I love that.

bizi · May 07, 2022, 10:45 PM

We keep our house at 70-71 degrees year round.

The weather is so fickle. most days turn on the air but night is different.
If it gets cold out side I turn the heater on to compensate for the cold weather. Air goes back on during the day. It has been in the 80's for weeks. Rain off and on.
Hurricane season starts june for 6 months.
sigh
bizi

*Beth* · May 07, 2022, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

Ok. This is ticking me off now! Facebook or Instagram keeps popping up a "page" on my phone asking for my birthday. There's a link that supposedly says why but it just says that it's to keep 13 and unders from using "Meta". Like I said- it's annoying the hell outta me! I just close it every time but I shouldn't have to! I'm not entirely sure it's not a scam.

Ohhh, I've been getting those things lately. I've gotten them on Facebook and now I'm getting them on YouTube a lot, which is very annoying. I feel suspicious, too. Maybe some of them are legit, but it seems like a perfect format for scammers.

*Beth* · May 07, 2022, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi

We keep our house at 70-71 degrees year round.

The weather is so fickle. most days turn on the air but night is different.
If it gets cold out side I turn the heater on to compensate for the cold weather. Air goes back on during the day. It has been in the 80's for weeks. Rain off and on.
Hurricane season starts june for 6 months.
sigh
bizi

Hi there, bizi! Is your climate very similar to southern Texas?

bizi · May 07, 2022, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

I'm going to do more fun stuff to my hair and hope I don't ruin the color.

So it's Mother's Day tomorrow with all the expectations and pressures. This will be the 4th Mother's Day in which I haven't heard from my daughter. The daughter who was my also precious friend and sidekick - and me having the honor of being her mom. I'm as clueless as I have been for these past few years. She's my N1 (Moose and I both have all N's ).

My N2, my son Noah, will call. So there's that. It's just that when they were little we had such special times together. I always thought we'd be gathered together on special days, like Mother's Day. Never in all my imagination did I think I'd be alone, waiting for a call. It's crazy.

I think what I'll do is treat myself to sleep by taking a 25mg Seroquel. Maybe I can actually make it to bed a little bit early tonight.

I've had a rotten conflict with someone, not the end of the world, but it's crummy. Anyway....

Happy daisy vibes to all~**~***~**~*

I am so sorry you had a rotten conflict with someone.
I hate conflict, hubby and I have both settled into a rut.
He is getting ready to be off for the summer. He works hard during the school year and takes a much need break.
He and a few colleagues take a trip to galveston, for a few days for eating and drink a lot.One year the went to colorado.
That was interesting the was a huge snow storm and

they had to dig all of the cars out, 3 feet of snow.

The cabin is slowly being renovated.

They go as soon as possible after schools finish his

wife is kindergarten teaching using the zezucky method
of teaching. any way. I hope to hire some people to

clean the house as it is overwhelming and needs to be cleaned.
anyway,
Hello to every one may we continue trying to be strong and capable

people. This hard work....we are worthy of this effort!

*Beth* · May 07, 2022, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

@*Beth*
I missed it, what color did you do your hair? And what are you planning to do? I have a blue (now it’s more teal) ombré and after I save enough money from my part time job I’m going to change it to purple. I used to be able to do it myself but I’m not that talented with longer hair!

Haha, You asked

My hair started going grey when I was in my 20's. But I had been coloring it since I was 13. So I kept coloring it (I'm proud to say that I had punk haircuts with punk colors way back when the colors had to be ordered from the UK by a salon & took 6 freakin' weeks to arrive). I colored it all sorts of colors, both natural and punk. Somewhere along the way it turned completely white. Fortunately, it's still as thick, but all white. So I don't have much choice as far as color (I'd like it to be somewhat darker, but forget it). I put a toner over the white and it's exactly platinum. The other day though I put a neutral blonde on it and it's just a little bit on the too-bright white side. So I'm going to put a toner over it to (hopefully) bring it into a slightly creamier/pastel platinum. But I was too tired today, so I'll do it tomorrow.

Your colors sound beautiful! I'm amazed by all the choices there are now. There used to be this stuff in the '90's called Hair Fudge, punk colors, and man, that stuff stuck like glue. It stayed. But it seems the company went out of business, which is too bad.

Do you know what brand your stylist uses?

Soupe du jour · May 08, 2022, 02:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by otroo

This is a picture of the first house we lived in.

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What a beautiful spot you lived in, otroo!

It sounds like you are taking some care to look after yourself for the future. That's important! All the best with those efforts.

Soupe du jour · May 08, 2022, 02:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

Ok. This is ticking me off now! Facebook or Instagram keeps popping up a "page" on my phone asking for my birthday. There's a link that supposedly says why but it just says that it's to keep 13 and unders from using "Meta". Like I said- it's annoying the hell outta me! I just close it every time but I shouldn't have to! I'm not entirely sure it's not a scam.

You can just give some miscellaneous date to shut it up. No obligation to give the real date, in these cases. The issue with Meta is that they like to post your birthday for "friends", too. If friends know your real day, or you don't care, accuracy doesn't matter.

Sunflower123 · May 08, 2022, 05:01 AM

I remember now that on top of the insomnia and severe anxiety there are other unpleasant physical side effects to Wellbutrin. I have discontinued use of this medication but the side effects remain. I didn’t sleep last night, my anxiety is high and I’m physically sick - on Mother’s Day. Seems wrong.

I had an argument/disagreement with my best friend. He called me a name and said some way harsh things. It was unnecessary and unkind particularly as I was sick and not able to defend myself properly. I believe we patched it up but it left me with an unpleasant taste in my mouth. I didn’t deserve that.

I hope everybody has a pleasant Mother’s Day / Sunday. Hugs to all.

unlived · May 08, 2022, 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I did go. My post should be up sometime today, a page or 2 back. They said things are ok. My EKG was normal besides a pulse of 108. One of my blood levels said I am at a higher risk for a blood clot but the chest xray didn't show one. They gave me fluids and pain meds and sent me home. I'm honestly wondering if I'm starting to get covid or something. I've been to a lot of doctors offices these past few days for various things and have not followed the best covid protocol at them.

From someone who has had many pulmonary embolisms (I have a clotting disorder so get clots in lungs more often than I’d like) chest X-rays are not the way to see if you have one. You need a ct scan preferably with contrast. X-rays are pretty useless. They didn’t pick any of mine up. They might pick some up but most I think they don’t.

Mountaindewed · May 08, 2022, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unlived

From someone who has had many pulmonary embolisms (I have a clotting disorder so get clots in lungs more often than I’d like) chest X-rays are not the way to see if you have one. You need a ct scan preferably with contrast. X-rays are pretty useless. They didn’t pick any of mine up. They might pick some up but most I think they don’t.

Yeah this doctor was kinda not helpful and unfriendly. I got my results on my portal this morning and they were like "well your at an increased risk for a blood clot but the xray didn't show one.. but your blood level is high." I'm hoping my primary calls tommorow with some answers. Also my glucose was 110. Who gets diabetes after a 30 pound weight loss? I know my dad died from really bad diabetes in 2014 so I do have the genetics but I've been super careful for a long time with keeping everything under control. I'm also wondering if the chest pain I'm having is external from my top surgery. So I was going to ask my endocronogist for a refferal to the plastic surgeon he uses to check things out since its been a year anyways since the revisions. I don't want any more work done on it I just want to make sure things are ok and that there arent any problems.

Mountaindewed · May 08, 2022, 11:13 AM

I got my test results on my patient portal today. I hope my primary calls to explain them better. Theres that blood clot risk factor thats confusing. My glucose is high and its just annoying that I've been touting myself as this like kinda invincible person from diabetes because I have my weight under control and I watch how much I eat. But I know I have a very strong family history of it. Its just frustrating when that thing you frantically try to avoid for 6 years you end up getting. But I don't know. Maybe it will turn out ok. Also these current events are so nerve wracking I've just shut myself off from social media. I've turned off Facebook. I've turned off FTM Reddit. I've turned off Drag Race Reddit. I heard some of Meet The Press from the other room which just infuriated me. But I am just unplugged from social media and media in general and I am binge watching Project Runway nonstop. Its just a lot for me right now but if I don't think about it, then I'm fine. I'll process it all with my therapist on Wednesday.

wildflowerchild25 · May 08, 2022, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

Haha, You asked

My hair started going grey when I was in my 20's. But I had been coloring it since I was 13. So I kept coloring it (I'm proud to say that I had punk haircuts with punk colors way back when the colors had to be ordered from the UK by a salon & took 6 freakin' weeks to arrive). I colored it all sorts of colors, both natural and punk. Somewhere along the way it turned completely white. Fortunately, it's still as thick, but all white. So I don't have much choice as far as color (I'd like it to be somewhat darker, but forget it). I put a toner over the white and it's exactly platinum. The other day though I put a neutral blonde on it and it's just a little bit on the too-bright white side. So I'm going to put a toner over it to (hopefully) bring it into a slightly creamier/pastel platinum. But I was too tired today, so I'll do it tomorrow.

Your colors sound beautiful! I'm amazed by all the choices there are now. There used to be this stuff in the '90's called Hair Fudge, punk colors, and man, that stuff stuck like glue. It stayed. But it seems the company went out of business, which is too bad.

Do you know what brand your stylist uses?

Ah jeez have I asked before? My memory is such trash these days! Anyway your hair sounds beautiful!

My stylist uses pulp riot, but it is sold to professional salons only, so I touched it up with xmondo by brad mondo. I have a bottle of arctic fox that I’m going to use to continue to touch up until late June or so. I’m waffling now between darker purple or magenta. Then I can darken it when I start work again.

I did punk colors from when I was about 14 to 20 when my job no longer allowed punk colors. Nowadays it seems no one cares except conservative offices. I did it myself but I ruined my hair so I got it cut into a crop that I could spike up with the glue or gel. I for one think it was very cute! I would do it again if RS liked short hair lol. But right now we have an agreement wherein I won’t cut my hair off and he won’t grow in his massive beard that he had before we met

wildflowerchild25 · May 08, 2022, 12:13 PM

I feel sick as hell and I’m betting on vraylar withdrawal. I’m getting brain zaps which suuuuck and I couldn’t sleep until 2am, and of course I had another nightmare and woke up at 4:15am. Thankfully I was able to go back to sleep. But I woke up early to go to the azalea festival, and it was canceled because of the rain! It wasn’t supposed to be raining all through the day today again. This is the fourth year it’s been canceled. Twice for rain, twice for Covid.

We had breakfast at the diner since we were up early enough to get there before everyone else. Ham omelet no cheese for the win! But now I don’t feel well so I ate my tuna sandwich and that’s it for me for awhile.

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Bipolar check-in #65

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