Bipolar check-in #65

Have been having some anxiety and paranoia.

I got some good sleep last night. Really needed it.

Here’s a pic of Maybelle laying in the cat bed and Mustachio looking at her

Awww what a sweet picture. Miss M looks so totally relaxed 😎

comfy looking bed!

I am sorry for the withdrawl symptoms.
take care of you
bizi

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 Ah jeez have I asked before? My memory is such trash these days! Anyway your hair sounds beautiful! My stylist uses pulp riot, but it is sold to professional salons only, so I touched it up with xmondo by brad mondo. I have a bottle of arctic fox that I’m going to use to continue to touch up until late June or so. I’m waffling now between darker purple or magenta. Then I can darken it when I start work again. I did punk colors from when I was about 14 to 20 when my job no longer allowed punk colors. Nowadays it seems no one cares except conservative offices. I did it myself but I ruined my hair so I got it cut into a crop that I could spike up with the glue or gel. I for one think it was very cute! I would do it again if RS liked short hair lol. But right now we have an agreement wherein I won’t cut my hair off and he won’t grow in his massive beard that he had before we met

No, no - you haven't asked before I meant...okay, get ready for the long story about my hair

Oooh, magenta sounds intriguing.

Ugh, David has ragged on me for 40 years about cutting my hair. He loves long hair. Once, many, many years ago I got so frustrated with him going on about me cutting my hair that I shaved it off. And I loved it! Wow, it was so easy and then when it started growing out of course it was virgin hair so I could bleach it nicely. But, I was young and thin so could pull off shaved hair.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 I feel sick as hell and I’m betting on vraylar withdrawal. I’m getting brain zaps which suuuuck and I couldn’t sleep until 2am, and of course I had another nightmare and woke up at 4:15am. Thankfully I was able to go back to sleep. But I woke up early to go to the azalea festival, and it was canceled because of the rain! It wasn’t supposed to be raining all through the day today again. This is the fourth year it’s been canceled. Twice for rain, twice for Covid. We had breakfast at the diner since we were up early enough to get there before everyone else. Ham omelet no cheese for the win! But now I don’t feel well so I ate my tuna sandwich and that’s it for me for awhile.

Bllleccck, yeah, sure sounds like withdrawal alright. You so have my sympathy. Brain zaps are miserably unpleasant.

Nice that you went to the diner, though. An omelet sounds really good, wish I had one right now, haha.

hi beth!,
I am unsure about your temps in southern texas.
It is 89 degrees right now with lots of humidity. Which is a killer.
The house got up to 74 degrees I had forgot to reset the thermostat.
The air feels good now. doing 2 loads of laundry.

I have a lot of paperwork to do, am missing a symphony and birthday party.
had better get back to work.

To those of you who are bp1
sometimes we do things out of our control especially me.
I have written really bad and hurtful emails. I have been hospitalized for psychotic episodes when I needed to be in there because my meds stopped working and we tried to find meds that would work for me. stopped cold turkey geodon, yikes.
I hardly remember what I said while in this last time. I got so bad that they transferred me to another unit. Thankfully I did not hurt any one this time around. I am on fewer meds now than before.small dose of haldol 5 mg twice a day.lamictal 150mg twice a day, cogentin twice a day and 1mg of klonipin to sleep. I have prns that I can take if it can't sleep.
anyway.
I am stable due to my meds and try to be nice to all of
the people I meet. I appreciate this forum even though I don't have much time to participate.
Balance

I eat too much drink too much and that my friends has nothing to do with bipolar!
Hugs to those that need them.
((((((HUGS)))))
biz

My daughter is having an issue with work. She called me to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day and sounded so hateful and as if I was an obligation or a burden. It was very hurtful. My best friend likewise has been very cold and unemotional with me today. It’s been very hurtful. It’s been a crappy day. I’m closest to those two and they’ve acted like jerks. I just want to go to bed and forget today.

I did buy 5 roses from Walmart for $4.87. They were out of those so they substituted a beautiful bouquet of a dozen perfect red roses tied with a ribbon for the same price. That was lovely.

I hope everyone has a peaceful week next week.

Happy Mothers Day !

Hope everyone is having a pleasant day

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 My daughter is having an issue with work. She called me to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day and sounded so hateful and as if I was an obligation or a burden. It was very hurtful. My best friend likewise has been very cold and unemotional with me today. It’s been very hurtful. It’s been a crappy day. I’m closest to those two and they’ve acted like jerks. I just want to go to bed and forget today. Jennifer, I am so, so sorry. Do you know, I have had several messages from friends on Facebook and each one finds Mother's Day a tough day. I don't think we can help having high expectations and hopes for a holiday like this one...but I'm pretty sure that more moms feel bad on Mother's Day than those who can honestly say Yay, I've had a fabulous day! I think I decided yesterday to expect nada today. I'm treating myself to some nice body stuff...a special treatment for my hair, a shower using handmade whipped soap, some nice lotions. My son did call and we had a really nice chat; that was a blessing. Sometimes I wish I would have had 2 sons. Daughters can be so...complicated. I did buy 5 roses from Walmart for $4.87. They were out of those so they substituted a beautiful bouquet of a dozen perfect red roses tied with a ribbon for the same price. That was lovely. How nice! I wanted to buy myself a bouquet of roses to hang up and dry, but they were hiked up to $30, so forget that. I'll wait until the price drops. I hope everyone has a peaceful week next week. Thank you, sweetie. I hope the same for you, that it's a kinder week for you than this past week has been.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina Happy Mothers Day ! Hope everyone is having a pleasant day Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Happy Mama's Day to you, too! Loves and hugs!

Happy Mother’s Day to you too.

Aww Call the Midwife was so emotional tonight. They topped themselves.

I made really awesome pork chops tonight for our Mother’s Day dinner. Found a recipe on the internet that was awesome and simple. I’m still learning to cook meat after years of being vegetarian. They turned out so moist and delicious. Bought mum and I a box of dark chocolate to share. My daughter was going to come and cook us dinner but her kids got sick. Poor things.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Happy Mother’s Day to you too. Aww Call the Midwife was so emotional tonight. They topped themselves. I made really awesome pork chops tonight for our Mother’s Day dinner. Found a recipe on the internet that was awesome and simple. I’m still learning to cook meat after years of being vegetarian. They turned out so moist and delicious. Bought mum and I a box of dark chocolate to share. My daughter was going to come and cook us dinner but her kids got sick. Poor things.

Ooh, thanks for the reminder. I need something to watch for 1 hour tonight - CtheM will be perfect.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu ........

Hi! I am trying to find the episode of Call the Midwife you mentioned that you watched tonight. Which season are they in now? Is it 10 or 11? Sadly, I've lost track. Thank you

I agree with this. A CT scan with contrast fluid is a better than an x-ray. Also they should've done a D Dimer test.

I snagged a B on that hard as hell research paper. I passed both classes with a B!

It was a two parter in season 11. I think it’s the final episode of 11 but I’m not sure.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu It was a two parter in season 11. I think it’s the final episode of 11 but I’m not sure.

Thank you, Nammu! I get so darn confused with all the TV channels, then Netflix, Amazon Prime, I had a free trial to PBS Masterpiece, but I don't know if I signed up to keep it going....it's enough to drive me crazy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu It was a two parter in season 11. I think it’s the final episode of 11 but I’m not sure.

Sheesh! I finally found it on Netflix, but it only goes through Season 10 right now - but that's okay, because the last episode I saw months ago, maybe a year ago, was the ender of Season 9 - which was a delightful episode. So I'm picking up with Season 10.

My Mother's Day was peaceful and mostly happy. This is the 4th one in which my daughter didn't call, which is heartbreaking, of course. But sometimes I catch myself thinking that she's dead, in the sense that she's become a memory.

My DIL sent me a sweet message on Facebook and my son called. We had a fine conversation. He's so easy to talk with. They're off again in 2 weeks, this time to Berlin and to the Swiss Alps. After they return we'll get together. If I didn't have my kitties I'd stay in their flat while they're away. I love it there, right in the middle of the city and close to the ocean. But I have my fur balls.

I did my hair (color) and gave it an Olaplex treatment. It came out nice. Had a pleasant shower, did laundry, and gave myself fresh sheets. My bamboo blanket is arriving tomorrow, spring green this time.

Whew. So I made it through another Mother's Day without my daughter. Sometimes I wonder how many years the grief will take from my life. But then I fight inside; I don't want to lose any years because of her behavior towards me, because in no way do I deserve it. I want those years with my son.

Tonight is a chilly one, but I'll take it. Before I turn around it'll be plenty hot. Time for bed.

I hope that everyone has a really good Monday morning. I hope you see something beautiful.

Our France trip is starting to come together. Hubby booked a couple flights, but they are still yet to be confirmed by the online agency since we plan to fly into one city, but fly out of another. We're sticking to areas around five cities in the western part of the country, with Bordeaux the furthest south. We also reserved an electric car for our time there to save money. It wasn't really more expensive than gas cars, but it will require a bit of planning to ensure it's sufficiently charged all along the way. The infrastructure for charging such cars is pretty good in France, but certainly needs even more modernization if all people will be driving electric cars in the future. I have ideas on perhaps what that could look like. The charging speed will need to be ultra rapid. I could even envision a system where you get the fees as part of a monthly bill, like any other electricity usage. Or even better, further down the line, just have the sun charging all cars sufficiently with a monthly or annual fee either just for the infrastructure or as part of an automobile fee (as we pay for car insurance). Some charging mechanism could even just be incorporated into roads (or tracks of sorts) so "stations" wouldn't be necessary. I scratch my head how a few billionaires are mostly joyriding up towards space, but most of the rest of us are still driving nonsensical automobiles that pollute so much. If Musk wants to do more, I wish he'd further investment in that realm rather than stupid Twitter.

We were supposed to go on a ride but she ended up having to work. I spent my day with my mother inlaw in church and the afternoon with my mom. I cried a lot at church and at home and that was it.

Sent from my SM-T733 using Tapatalk

Oh horrors. Had an awful dream. I was in an English class and the teacher was trying to sabotage me cause she hated having a Deaf student who had an interpreter and a note taker. Plus in my dream I was on strong meds that made me sleepy. Ilr there were teachers that were uncomfortable with interpreters but none ever tried to sabotage me or took it personally except one art teacher who had a real personality problem. She liked to dominate her class and I didn’t dominate well. I didn’t know it at the time but she was not well liked but the other staff. She took me to a collage version of speaking to the principal. It was her me and my advisor ( who was also deaf) and interpreters. She came out looking rather bad. Thankfully there were only a couple weeks left to the semester.

But in grade school I had a teacher that wanted to fail me. She wanted me locked up in a state school. “Normal” kids shouldn’t have to be in a room with less that perfect kids. All she successfully did was. Insure I hate math and making no longer love school. But only her class. She told mum I belonged in an institution and mum tried to get her removed. She was fired the following year. I had really pissed her off by saying Americans weren’t first. In space. I didn’t understand why that pissed her off so much because it was a fact. The principal had me take tests, the tests I passed with flying colors allowed me to stay in mainstreamed classes. Fortunately I had no idea what was riding on those tests. But that teacher humiliated me whenever she could and isolated me. By 4th grade I thought I was dumb. Fortunately the teachers were better and I did fine after that except for math.

Anyway I think that was the reason for that dream. Interesting though the dream was English class, not math!

Stress can cause your blood sugar levels to be higher than normal. They’d have to really to a Hba1c test (measures your average level over past 3 months) or a glucose tolerance test to see if you have diabetes not just a one off test. Don’t stress too much about it.

Mountaindewed is the clot risk factor a “d dimer” by any chance?