Bipolar check-in #67

I think my therapist wants to switch me to someone who specilizes in eating disorders. She says she won't but then she keeps talking about me meeting with this other higher up therapist who works with eating disorders. I asked her today "are you going to back door me and switch me to her because I've had this happen before where therapists say I'm stuck with them and then after awhile they say they are not qualified to work with me so they switch me" she said to me "no I won't switch you but if I did you'd be in great hands because this therapist knows a ton about eating disorders." So I kinda took that as "I'm not going to switch you right now but, I'll throw you under the bus whenever I feel like I need to." Its just dumb because I asked her at our very first session if she worked with people with EDs since the last 2 therapists told me they wouldnt work with me because of it and she said "yeah I know about that stuff and am comfortable with it." Its just like really frustrating you know... I know I have issues with food and our sessions mainly talk about eating and weight loss and stuff but I just wish she was upfront with me at the start the way I was upfront with her at the start and said that I had some issues

Both my daughter and granddaughter have red hair! My daughter loves her hair color and has never dyed her hair.

Yeah, I’ve heard stories about things like that. Once during a “wellness “ check on me, I was sound asleep and they broke my door down and surrounded me in my bed with guns drawn. I say that was really something to wake up to! My poor cat had climbed in bed with me and was trying to hide under me, he was so scared.

We played host to a friend's cat for about a day and a half. The cat was so scared it hid in our basement. We had to search for the cat three times and we eventually just let it stay there, we put it's food and litter box close by. We haven't had a cat in the house since ours died 3 years ago.

Although I'm Canadian, I'm closely watching the January 6th committee hearings on CNN. It's very interesting and I find it pretty cool that people can be so patriotic (the committee members and those testifying).

July 1 is the sixth anniversary of my sister's death. We're going to get together with my mother and look at photos and tell stories of my sister.

My tooth is gone, it took all of ten minutes! And I was only in pain for the rest of the day, as long as I don’t chew on that side it’s no problem.

The endoscopy was terrifying, I was nearly crying in the surgery center. It really had nothing to do with the actual procedure, it was just that I had to change into a hospital gown and give up all my stuff and I felt out of control of myself, like I was back in the crisis center knowing my freedom was about to be ripped from me and sent IP. To top that off I was so worried the anesthesia was going to feel just like ECT anesthesia. It was just one huge traumatic incident. But it’s over. She said there was “nothing remarkable” but my stomach was inflamed. But I suppose that’s perfectly normal . She took biopsies, of what I have no idea but I guess I’ll find out in two weeks.

I’m still having the pain btw. I don’t even know what to do. I guess keep record and wait until she contacts me. But I don’t want to go through a bunch of scary tests.

Anyway I’m extremely irritable, likely because I quit nicotine on Friday (can’t use a vape with a pulled tooth) and it’s also a hormonal issue, and I’m just so unbelievably disgusted with certain things that are going on in the US. I’m so mad that I’m still in program and I’m going to tell my clinician enough is enough. Since CR is having his surgery next week I will no longer be available 3x a week 3hrs/day. I need to be home for my boy and available to drop everything if he needs me.

Part of having a migraine is feeling hot - your head mostly. I just took my 2nd -and last- Sumatriptan dose 25 minutes ago. I've got cold water in the hot water bottle which is on my chest and an ice pack below my head at the base of my skull. I hope this 2nd pill does the trick . None of the other 3 in the last 24 hours have worked.

I'm sorry you're going through such changes with your careteam, *Beth*. I'm on Gabapentin, too, but for periferal neuropathy. They told me it had sedative properties, though. I hope you can work the dosage out.

I worry about you, ~Christina. I hope all is well, & that your departure wasn't precipitated by anything specific. Hang in there.

That would have been scary hearing the gunshots and screams and I’d imagine you’d feel helpless too. When I was a teenager I had a group / gang of older males (I’m female) come after me while I was at school armed with knives. I was protected by some teachers but I think if I’d been in America those would probably have been guns and it would have turned out very differently. I’m glad they’re not so easy to get here but I’m sorry for the people who have to live with that fear.

...I replied and said yeah and then asked if it would be in person or through zoom and if my T would be with us. ...