Bipolar Check-in #74

I felt like super euphoric for a few days and then I kinda crashed yesterday afternoon after the tuna incident and it seemed like it was like some hypomania episode but I was also sleeping a lot. So I'm wondering if it was maybe a side effect to starting the bentyl. I don't regret applying for work all of a sudden so maybe I was just getting used to the med and the work stuff is seperate. I just don't get why I'm not hearing anything back from jobs I'm highly qualified for. Combined with my volunteer job I have almost 8 years of stocking and backroom expierence.

I hope I sleep tonight. Theres some creepy ghost shyt show on the travel channel right now in the hotel I'm trying to ignore. I honestly do not like going on trips anymore.

I took some time for myself today. Mom and I are together pretty much 24/7 and I needed a break. I had a fabulous spa pedicure, a good meal out, Starbucks and walked through the park and watched the creek meander along. I wasn’t gone long but it did me a world of good. I rescheduled a medical test I had for today because I needed this more.

Mom is healing well from her eye surgery. She was out in the yard gardening when I returned home. It was lovely weather.

As nice as the day has been, I’ve been depressed all day. In a lot of pain. I took an extra pill to help me sleep it off and I hope to sleep soon. My best friend talked me through it and he helped a lot but it’s one of those things you have to sleep off. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

I hope everyone has a peaceful night.

Been in a low place the last week or so, so I haven’t been around much. Hope everyone is doing well.

I feel this. Since my friend died two weeks ago I've been triggered back to depression. I've been doing activities like painting and household stuff, but I need a day completely off.

I did have my writing group tonight and it went well but I am SO tired now. Just wasn't really up to socializing but still happy I did it. It's a group where we sit and write, rather than a critique group, so it was good to get something done.

My headache is gone!

@JaneOnceMore
Good and bad. Definitely got some sleep with my cat lounging on the armrest. Just have to figure out positioning since my normal method of getting up shoots pain to the incision.

Actual rest is quite painless and.refreshing. Moving pain is slowly but surely getting better. Here's hoping!

That looks very nice!

I haven't written much lately simply because half the time I've been in a kind of misery, wondering how long my sister and I might have our brother with us. Clearly she's experiencing the brunt of it as she is the main contact for the doctors taking care of him. Today she's meeting with a social worker and other staff at a rehab to discuss what's ahead and "goals", whatever they might be. She wrote that the service for my father might be in as little as two or three weeks. As I will attend in person, I may need to be making flight arrangements to the US imminently. My husband says he will of course go with me, so it'll be x 2 arrangements. Depending when it is, I'll need to reschedule some doctor appointments. The boss of our renovations would likely continue with the work in our absence and hopefully be available to oversee some other workers scheduled to arrive (counter installation, pantry cabinet builder/installers, etc.)

Our dad's service must happen somewhat soon. It can't be postponed forever. Plus, there are things my sister needs my help doing as my father's property needs to be dealt with. It's a little complex because my brother had been living in Dad's house for almost 15 years. It's unclear if our brother will return there soon, or not. In his medical state, we wouldn't want him not to have that option. The property is a bit of a mess. It hasn't been properly maintained since our mother died about 18 years ago. After our father had to move to an assisted living, our brother sort of junked it up. Dad hadn't been THAT bad really, until our brother moved there. My brother isn't a hoarder, but a very messy guy who rarely, if ever, cleaned things, and whose accumulated stuff reflected an overzealous interest in various hobbies. I'll make this distinction.

It's been raining and raining and raining. It's not due to stop where I am until next Wednesday. Some roads are a little flooded. The place sure is green, though!

You are going through so much.

Remember to take the time to look after yourself. Get a massage, take a spa day, go for walks in nature and read a good book (maybe one by Matt Haig - my favourite author).

Thank you! Fingers crossed that we won't hear anything from the strata council about it.

I'm trying to deal with heat exhaustion that is in fact from the bentyl. I was in and out of the car all day. Currently I'm in my room with my blackout curtains closed and the fan on and I'm under a light throw blanket. I have strechty shorts and a T shirt on and no shoes or socks. The AC is on in the house too. I drank water and had a couple electrolyte popsicles. So hopefully things start to calm down. I'm really nauseated right now and just feeling unwell but I actually know what its from this time

Overall today was pretty good.

I feel pretty good! It's been another day of Summerlike weather and my mood has perked up. I was unusually active around my apartment this afternoon, attending to housework that's been outstanding all Winter. I'm a bit worried about (hypo)mania, but my only symptom was increased energy and after being inert all Winter, i'll just keep an eye on it. I haven't taken an anti-depressant so hopefully it will just be a mild reaction to the good weather, like i had in 2020.

What a weird illness this is, where you get concerned when you feel GOOD?!

Oh hun you have so much going on keep up your self care during such hard times.

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Hugs friends

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hugs for you christina!

Been having a horrible time sleeping. Stress of all the changes.

Today my sister was here again. I got an advance of the inheritance, enough to pay off my car loan. So that’s one less stress. The car is mine free and clear. No monthly payments anymore. But still have the problem of not having enough income to qualify for a decent apartment.

Spent some of the money on a glass mosaic class. Two hours today, 8 tomorrow and 6 on Sunday. It’s a hard class. And very hard on my back. Not sure how I’m going to get though 8 hours! Wow it’s intense but very interesting.

I went to the store today by myself. That's a huge step. I've barely done this at all since my meds were increased in January and my depression became so severe. In fact I think it's my only solo trip to the grocery or Walmart. I've gone alone to the pharmacy. But the sedation is less now so I did much better. I'll probably pay for it tomorrow but at least I did it. And I survived a day without a nap. Most days I still am falling asleep without warning during the day but today I made it.

I really hope this means I'm getting better.

That’s great progress I hope things continue to improve for you

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A manager from Burger King called me today, I applied yesterday. They gave me an interview for next Tuesday. I really hope I get hired. Super nervous though about it all

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Thanks for these recommendations, Samicat! I have no good excuse to avoid the hike. There are lots of trails near us, just muddy from all of the rain. I'm curious about Matt Haig. Will look into his books.

I need my hair done, but it's not yet desperate. We may try a place a couple towns over rather than in Prague, though the stylist in Prague speaks good English and is very talented. I'm a fan of facials over massages. One of those would be nice!

Little by little is often the best approach. I hope your sedation continues to ease.

@Sunflower123, I should follow your example and do more away from my husband. Your activities sounded lovely! From past posts of yours I have seen you practice healthy coping methods again and again. I'm comparatively delinquent.

I hope your depression lifts soon and your mom's eye sight, too.

I talked to my sister last night. I was relieved to learn there was a misunderstanding about the required timing of Dad's service. She can wait longer than I thought.

I was so exhausted and stressed after talking to Sis last night. I conked out.

@Samicat and @Soupe du jour and @Nammu Of course you are grieving. That is the healthiest "thing" you can do, one step at the time (when the grief knocks at your doors)! People who try to be clever and go on as if life is normal without these loved persons, will probably have a fall down later.

I know you struggle, but I wish you "Good luck" with that. May every step of that difficult journey make you whole again! But please take care of yourselves as well, healthy meals, enough sleep if possible and physical activities of some kind for your living bodies. A walk in fresh air clears the mind too.

I am OK for the time being looking forward to my vacation.

:My stomach hurt and my anxiety was pretty sucky this morning but I took 2 advil and 2 valium 15 minutes ago so I'm pretty chilled right now. I guess Pepto Bismol interacts with the Bentyl and makes it less effective. So I'm just chowing down on Pepto Bismols because my stomach hurts when its the f ing pepto bismols that are making the bentyl not work in the first place.

Not much is going on today. My mom has games and derby stuff all day. She does a lot at 71 years. My brother in laws folks showed up unannouced last night. So I'll just be at home. They are homophobic transphobic super religious etc. The mom I can tolerate. She is one of those people who is like "I don't like trans people but I like Mountaindewed." The dad is a creep though. I haven't seen them though in 4 years. My brother in law is the complete opposite of his parents.

I plan to just chill alone and avoid any drama.

I fell asleep for an hour and I feel ok. I fell asleep with the sun shining on me and I was under 2 throw blankets and I had my fan turned off. So I'm kinda warm and thirsty now.