Bipolar Check-in #74

I hope you’re doing ok @~Christina

@~Christina:

Thanks for the nudge! I read your post and hopped in the shower for the first time in nearly three weeks!

How are YOU doing?

I had such a lovely afternoon. I spent time with friends and my friend made lunch and cake. It was wonderful!
I then came home and chatted to my husband and spent some quality time together. We haven’t had much of that lately because I’m still working in another city so I spend half the week away.
It was so nice!

I never did my work, but I’m in bed and I’m off tomorrow for the holiday so I will do it tomorrow!

I hope you’re all ok lots of hugs

Well the bookmaking part of the class was today. Have a 4x5 little book filled with the paper I made yesterday. Turned out well. I made one piece of paper with a green leaf embedded in it and a couple pages with sparkly bits otherwise they were all a light blue. For the book cover I chose floral stripes in black and brown corduroy and pasted a blue inside cover. It looks like those expensive blank books you can buy.

I have to say I love taking art classes. Seriously thinking about the watercolor painting classes they have in June and July. I’ve never used watercolor before and their finished examples look professionally painted. Don’t know if I could compete you have to bring your own supplies and I have none. Not for that. But I knew nothing about paper makings befor this class….so maybe.

Your book sounds beautiful! Especially the corduroy!
If you’re able to, it sounds like you would really enjoy the watercolour classes! I hope you enjoy them if you go for them!

Glad I could help

I’m just circling the drain. Physical non stop pain is tanking my mental outlook. Just exhausting. But I know eventually it will improve .. but boy having to wait on and on and on is awful!

Are you and your furbaby able to get outside more often??

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Sounds lovely

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

For the first time in a while I can’t sleep. I should be happy-elated-excited. But I’m not. I just wanna sleep away time.

I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling @HALLIEBETH87

I hope things improve quickly for you @~Christina

I’m a bit anxious about this week. I didnt sleep well last night. I just keep thinking of everything I need to do. Eek.

Hopefully if I get this presentation finished today it’ll be one thing off the list!

But there’s so many things on to do my list

@~Christina:

Sorry to hear you're in physical pain. That must be hard to cope with. My dog and i are going out regularly except when the weather is too bad.

I haven't slept well the past few days, after having a few good weeks. Might take melatonin tonight. Sleepytime herbal tea is also an option.


Good sleep to you!

Sorry to hear you are in pain. That is just difficult for mood. I ate Indian food last night so that may trigger my IBS.

Are you able to relieve the pain even temporarily? That always helps mood i find.

I am really struggling today. I'm really close to texting my mom and telling her I need to go to the ER. This stomach pain is insane right now. I'm hoping its just some kinda anxiety attack and it will go away. I made it through therapy and it was productive but I was having a hard time being there. Luckily it went fast. But I really procrastinated this morning with getting ready. I literally finished my therapy homework as my mom was getting my niece ready to go and I brushed my teeth and grabbed my hat and backpack when my mom was in the drive way. I made it on time and stuff

I just feel like crap today and it seems to be getting worse.

Well the call center I work in (I am on disability but technically still employed) has become a Hell hole due to UNrealistic expectations and micro managing. Five years ago things were different. I mean there have always been "metrics" like average handle time, post-call work, compliance, attendance, punctuality, break adherence and so on. But you never used to even hear about them unless there was a major issue like you were coming in late each day. Now, every statistic is dissected. If you are more than 30 seconds late from a break 3 times in a month, you are "off track" and that could lead to termination. And there are lots of computer issues that can cause you to be a few seconds off.

Plus there is a lot more to be done before and after your shift, which you don't get paid for. The union (since my job is unionized) is trying to address these changes, but unions aren't as powerful as people think especially in the face of massive technological change.

What a rough night! I woke up multiple times and finally got out of bed at 5am. I need unbroken sleep. Now I'm tired.

I just finished exercising at home, I used my yoga ball and did single leg squats. I was out of breath but it wasn't too strenuous.

I was completely alone at home today for a few hours and it was tough not acting on my SH thoughts, but I made it! One step at a time.

A successful day! They were out of stock Friday of my ambien so I broke what I had in half. Was sort of a rough weekend sleep wise but because I had nothing until 1pm I was able to manage enough sleep to get by. But boy, tough dreams. But went by this morning prepared to beg but the truck had arrived so tonight should be smooth sailing.

Had lunch at the senior center, I bought a book with me and sat in a booth but still talked to a couple people. It’s cheaper to eat there than at home. Then at 1 we played mahjong. Wow, complicated to learn but gets easier. Unlike Texas where we played the American version today we played the real thing. Was a fun time, I had a great partner.

Thanks

My pain is normally tolerable. But My Fibromyalgia pain is really high right now due to having physical pain from my psoriatic arthritis. I had to start a new Biologic med for that because my stupid insurance won’t cover what was working great for 2+ years. Even trying to pre Auth doesn’t change anything. My rheumatologist hates insurance companies dictating what medication people can take.

So I have muscle pain, joint pain and I’m scratching like a dog with mange lol .. I have to try and laugh a bit because it’s truly awful. I know things will improve at some point.. it’s just hard waiting

Hope IBS didn’t get bad.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

That sounds ridiculous. I hope things change !

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Glad your Ambein was ready !!!! I hate that pharmacies don’t always stick what we need. My daughter ran into trouble the last 2 months on her Ritalin. The pharmacist said to call personally ( not use online to order it ) 3 days ahead of when it can be filled and they will make sure to order.. stupid hassles we all struggle with !

I have never even attempted to learn mahjong. Always looked so complicated lol

I think it’s really great your getting out and around people

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Oh, that sound’s truly awful. Wish only the most evil insidious most hideous diseases on those who make medical decisions without a MD. Specifically the idiot who decided your med was no longer covered. Yeah I’m waving my wand over them now! Lol seriously wish I could do that!

I had a killer migraine yesterday and I suffered for too many hours before trying my migraine medicine. In my defense, I forgotten my meds that day AND hadn't had any caffeine (and I drink a lot of caffeine). So I tried remedying that route first, and OTC headache medicine and a hot bath. After about 3.5 hours, and no luck in quelling it, and of course once nausea set in that was a clear sign-- I got desperate and tried the Ubrelvy sample I was given. Supposedly, it can be taken anytime during the migraine, testing up to four hours in, with significant/complete relief. In comparison, triptans (like Imitrex) are most effective when taken at first sign, so it was the better choice.

Great news though-- it worked awesome! Within 30 minutes I was able to sit up and felt 100% better although not completely ok yet. Within an hour's time, I was fine. Thanks Ubrelvy!

Lately I've been reading a lot of articles on mental health. I learned May is mental health awareness month (I think that's what the DBSA email said anyway..), so this may be a good time for all of us to brush up on what we know, ways we can help, and ways to get better!

Just wanted to check in. See ya guys!

Oh, I forgot to post that about May being mental health awareness month. I got two emails this morning on that. One from the art place and the other from DBSA. Good call Brentus!

I’m so tired. Physically, mentally…just so tired. Idk how I made it through work today but I did. I feel hungover from the seroquel even though I took it early and went to sleep relatively early. I fell back asleep after my alarm but thankfully CR is a sweetheart and says goodbye to me every morning so he woke me up. Otherwise I’m sure I would have slept straight through until after work started!

Im so depressed still, I thought I was going to cry just at the thought of going grocery shopping. We went, but I couldn’t concentrate so I have no idea what we bought. I grabbed a lot of grab and go foods because I can’t be bothered to prepare anything right now. My lunch today was mandarin oranges, baby carrots, and pumpkin seeds. I couldn’t fathom even slapping together an almond butter and jam sandwich. It was too much. Im alternating between bingeing and barely eating. If I don’t buy chips and ice cream I don’t binge bc it’s not there. So I’m not buying any. Just a lot of fruit and vegetables.

I still don’t know what to do. I have to slog through but it’s so hard. I know lexapro can take weeks to work. I briefly looked into ketamine at the behest of my therapist but the closest clinic is an hour away. I would need someone to drive me too. There’s TMS around me but I’m not sure. My therapist says it’s not as effective in bipolar depression as unipolar depression. And of course, I could go for maintenance ECT. But I need a driver for that too.

I feel so beaten down. Im drowning in SH and SI thoughts. Im mad again that I can’t SH. Only because RS would be upset and I might get thrown in the hospital. If it was socially acceptable I would do it but it’s not. I guess if you can’t hold on for yourself at the moment it’s ok to hold on for someone else.

Another dull day.

Two assignments
From being done with my bachelors! I graduate in four days! Bring it on!