Bipolar Check-in #75

Honestly there are plenty of hunters in Canada who use rifles to hunt for food... and we even have many citizens with licences for handguns (you have to take a safety course to get licensed. Both my best friend and brother-in-law both own handguns and go target shooting at shooting ranges). I think the biggest difference between Canada and the US is the military assault rifles and I don't see why any private citizen needs one. Those seem to be the weapon of choice for mass killings.

Today I am down 10 pounds! A big deal for me since my body does not lose weight easily (post menopause). I've stepped up my weight-loss efforts a few weeks ago since I had only lost 7 pounds since January. I'm really not much hungrier so that is good. I'm still eating everything including sweets but avoiding the really high-calorie treats (one kind of chocolates we have - kind of like designer Turtles with extra caramel are 350 cals for ONE PIECE- crazy. So that has been an education.

Our 28th wedding anniversary is next week. Very hard to believe it has been THAT long.

I don't know. I feel sick today. But I took 50mil of melatonin last night so maybe I should feel sick. Plus I didn't eat with my new med this morning. Or even drink water with my meds since I took them in my sleep. Its just the stomach stuff again. Mainly nausea. My new pain med is working well for pain and so is tylenol. I'm really tired again too. Hulu finally put up Project Runway seasons 14 15 and 16. So I've been chilling in bed watching season 14 all day. I finally took a shower.

But yeah. Not feeling the greatest today again.

I suffer with being constipated. exlax to the rescue! don't know what I would do with out it.
bizi

It’s a rainy day here so I took granny and. We
Visited the book store! I bought three new books I can’t wait to read!!

This. Heat. Can. Go. Away.

I simple can’t tolerate the heat at all.

I want 75 and sunny year round dammit !

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Did an online calculator test to see how much water I should be drinking every day.

Mixed results coming in at between 11-13 glasses a day!!!

I don’t even drink half of that but I’m committed to losing weight by watching what I’m eating and I’ll now be drinking loads more water.

Went to Kmart and bought a 2 litre water bottle. Still not a big enough jug but it’s as good as I’ve found.

@Soupe du jour I am so glad to hear that you have found a therapist and that you think the approach is fit for you!

You have been through a lot the last months. What you have experienced is at a level that could have made a crack in the emotions of everyone, even without a diagnose from before.

It is good to hear that your sister wanted to have a talk between sisters only, as well.

I send my best wishes for your online-therapy! Hope it helps!

I am happy for you because you have been able to lose weight. I send my best wishes for you to either keep it there or losing more of it, if that is what you want!

I feel very slow, like as if it is a burden to even move myself from one place to another inside home. Today is the first day in the first week of my six week plan.

I had to threaten myself to do my physical exercises, the usual ones and the ones "prescribed" for my inflammation. I was able to reach through the slowness while repeating old notes, but I still have this sluggish feeling.

I need some groceries. Instead of taking my daily walk I will go out soon to get them. At least that gives me some fresh air.

I have remembered to take my vitamins for the first day in a long time.

The rest and recuperation has done me quite a bit of good! My foot (specifically my big toe area) still hurts, but it's a 2-3 compared to the 7 I felt end of the day Saturday.

There was Sunday service which I ended up going to alone. My mom came to town, but she got so sick, she felt she needed to go home. Sucks I didn't get to really see her, but I get it.

The sermon yesterday was a surprisingly nuanced take on mental health, given how easily the church crowd can bungle that topic. The story was 1 Kings 19. Elijah the Prophet is on the run from Ahab and Jezebel after he went biblical on the Prophets of Baal. He eventually finds himself in the desert where, in despair, God instead sends down an angel who feeds him and gives him the strength to not just live, but carry on doing the Lord's work. This leads to Elijah hearing God's voice not in the whirlwind and fire, but in the whisper and culminates in the call of Elisha to join the prophet.

He talked about God providing, yes, but there was also talk about how Christians could provide the proverbial bread and be a (sometimes) literal lifeline to those in despair. He also talked about the still small voice of God and how He sometimes sends someone to share the burden, like Elisha, and challenged us to do the same.

I'm not a particularly religious man (I attend Sunday service for more temporal reasons.), but I don't see any issue with adopting that particular mindset. Whether people actually do that is another thing altogether.

Sleep has been fitful tonight. I've got a possible four hours so far scattered across eight. With daybreak fast approaching, I'm wrestling between just staying up to greet the day or trying to get some extra ZZZZs. It'll probably be the former, but fingers crossed!

Wow, this thread moves fast when you don't check in on it daily. I see a few people struggling. Sending hugs to all, especially those having "summertime sadness" or the "summer crazies" (myself included )

So I am sick today! My drowsiness from this morning must have been a part of that. I had put on too little cloth for the sermon yesterday. I almost "froze to death" on my way back home and needed almost an hour tucked into a blanket and a cup of hot drink before I felt OK yesterday.

I have trouble with my ears today. It is the second time I have made the mistake and believed that I was depressed when I had a physical disease. It demonstrates the principle of CBT. One can think something about oneself that is not true.

I was lucky and found some frozen fish in the freezer, so I didn't have to go to the grocery shop. I will stay at home today and look at the situation tomorrow.

PS. I am depressed of course, but not so deep as I thought this morning. DS.

I’m really missing my aqua fitness. My hand is wrapped in not waterproof wrapping. I tried last night unwrapping it, but oo, the pain. I wrapped it back up and left it. The doctor thinks I tore a ligament. We’re waiting to see if it will repair itself. If it still hurts Thursday I’m to call and they will do an mri. Meanwhile I can’t do much. The dishes are stacking up, no dishwasher in this place! Wrapped there’s no pain, unwrapped my back teeth hurt from the pain, how weird is that?

Still just flat and blah feeling. Wrote a few pages last night and felt absolutely nothing. I was supposed to see my pdoc Wednesday morning, but that's when my hernia surgery is so I had to cancel. Unfortunate. I really need to speak to that man. Luckily I have a follow-up on the 19th.

I need to get off seroquel and replace it with something else. It's making me blow up like a balloon!

I like how proactive some if you are being regarding your depression. Good for you!

Hugs to all!

Today I feel much better. I don't know if it was the melatonin or if my stomach med is just helping a lot now.

I went out shopping with my mom. I needed jeans. I wanted some 511 Levis. I thought finding them at thift stores would be easy enough. But it wasn't. We looked at Platos Closet and Goodwill. At Goodwill my mom found a large block toy thing that makes noise, some seasame street toy I forget the name of it but you see it in doctors offices a lot, and a walker type toy in the shape of a puppy that makes noise, all 3 of them for $13. We start up with watching my niece again in August. Finally I was just like "can we go to Kohls." Where I found the excat jeans there in my size. They were expensive, but at least I looked around before buying them new.

I also stopped at the international market and got some cool stuff including some peach Coke.

But I feel much better today. My anxiety hasn't been much of an issue lately but this physical stuff has sucked so its good to catch a break.

Today was a pretty good day, compared to recent ones. It's a reminder that things do improve. Sending wishes to all in distress or struggling that improvements will come soon.

Our friend gave us a whole bucket of sweet cherries from his property. Tomorrow I have my work cut out for me. I'll keep some for snacking, some to freeze, and some for a traditional Czech cherry sponge cake called "Bublanina" (Bubble cake).

Hubby and I unpacked a lot of books, which we'll finally put in our book shelves. I also told him it's high time to put some art on the walls. Maybe this week we'll make some more progress. Every book was vacuumed. I don't think they needed it, but Hubby insists. He has many habits that seem on the OCD spectrum to me, but has never been diagnosed as such. I don't think he ever saw/sees the behavior as such, so never mentioned it to his pdoc/tdoc in the past. He probably spends the equivalent of $1,200 per year on tissues and wet wipes. It is unbelievable how he uses so many. People in grocery stores used to sometimes comnent on them.

Whew. I’ve seen five clients today and one
More to go! It’s been a good day so far. I’ve got to
Go to the grocery afterward for
4th of July stuff and just to grab food we need. I got paid so this will be my bigger shopping trip. I plan on
Going to the gym
Tomorrow again.

Twelve dollars. Twelve freaking dollars. My fair state has decided I don't qualify for Medicaid anymore because I make $12 more than their threshold. I have a few notes, but let me preface by saying how stupid I find this type of means testing to be. People are so obsessed with deciding who deserves help, they'll ignore or hinder the ones who do.

My job does offer decent insurance as far as the nuts and bolts are concerned but it's $200 a month. Hardly any out of pocket, but still $200 that could have gone to several other projects and debts to pay. Make $12, lose $180 in the end.

Also, the state's math is off as well! If I take their estimation of my income at face value, I'm making $100+ more than I'm actually getting in my paychecks. If they're going by my tax returns, I did make a lot closer to that amount last year, but starting February-March, I effectively lost a day of wages and definitely did when I started at my current location.

So... some people are going to get a few insistent phone calls come July 5th! Hopefully one outcome works out!

@Aurelius710. Oh that sucks

First day of ESY out of the way. My only gripe is that all the assistants were assigned a morning bus and it’s my responsibility to take all the students from the bus and drop them as their classrooms. Two of the students were in my class during the school year and I know they are sloooow and need to be guided by the hand. I’m hoping it’s just those two as I only have two hands. They weren’t there today and the three that were present were able to walk with minimal guidance so hopefully it’ll all work out. My students in my class were mostly ok, we held it together until the very end of the day when the boy wasn’t allowed to take a fidget spinner home. Threw crayons and play doh and then collapsed in a screaming rage on the floor. I managed to get him up and out to the bus (still screaming) without too much trouble. One of the girls wasn’t allowed to take the pink play doh home and had a minor meltdown but it was controllable. Now a day off before jumping back in on Wednesday.

I wanted to go to the gym but I seem to have injured my foot. I think it’s an overuse injury. The top of my foot is red and tender and painful when I’m standing. Not as bad as it was last night so I figure if I rest for a couple of days and then stick to the elliptical instead of walking it might be ok. If it gets worse I’ll go to the dr but I’d rather not, I really hate drs. My good dr is booked up until October so I’d have to see someone else and I don’t know any of the other drs there. Except one and he’s a jerk. He dx’ed me with allergies when I actually had walking pneumonia. Plus I know they’ll comment on my weight gain. I’ve actually lost a little weight but I weigh more than I did the last time I went to my physical dr a year ago.

Hopefully my foot will feel better soon so I can get back into my exercise. It really does help me. Mentally I’m fine now, I guess I just needed a treatment. The ECT dr let me go another three weeks until my next one and if I do well we’ll drop it down to once a month! Though I think the fact that I got depressed after three weeks solidifies the fact that I really shouldn’t stop. I’ll just have to try to work them around my days off when I start the regular school year again. Missing one day a month will be better than having to go back IP and missing six weeks or more.

I did the elliptical! I can't diet but perhaps i can exercise! Supposed to be good for the mood, too. I can use all the help i can get, this holiday weekend has been so unpleasant (Canada). The weather here is super hot and humid and gross this week so i hope i can avoid going out. Highs of 39 Celsius or 102 Fahrenheit with humidex and risks of strong thunderstorms. Eee!

Early happy fourth of July to all our American members!

I recommend strength/weight training if you're hoping to shed some pounds. But cardio is great for mood.

I have been on a diet for about 3 weeks. As of a week ago I had lost 8 lbs. I'm due to weigh myself tomorrow but my scale isn't working so I may not be able to. But I'm really hoping I'll have crossed 10 lbs lost tomorrow.


I'm so glad I feel well enough to do this. I had lost 15 lbs last year and then got depressed and gained it all back. I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes so I really need to get the weight down.

I haven't made myself clear. I'm a wreck physically. I'm not so much 'exercising' or 'working-out' as i am doing physical rehabilitation. Doing the elliptical is a tremendous accomplishment for me. It's a great start. I can consider a more optimal endeavor once i've made some progress.