Bipolar Check-in #81

I'm so very sorry how much you struggle with sleep. My problems with sleep started after I had my son. I was in an organization that didn't believe in meds. Finally my Dr called me and said that organization and mentor that is saying that if you take the meds she will leave your life is not a Dr, I am. So I took them. I've had trouble with sleep forever. Why can't you take the dose that does help you sleep? Anyway, very glad you got some deep sleep. 🥰

I'm so sorry! I used to sprain my ankle a lot when I was hypomanic and would be drunk in high heels. Normally it wouldn't take a long time to heal. But once I was out of commotion for like 6 weeks. It was embarrassing.

I just replied to you in a big text. But happy birthday! 🎉🎈🎉🎈🎉I will reply with the long comment tomorrow.

Happy birthday @raspberrytorte!

It takes it's time to make good and well-functioning routines. I used years to make my routines functional. One has to have a "not-giving-up-attitude" to be able to make it step by step and be willing to accept setbacks.

I do get up and get to bed at the same time every day, but between these two moments of the day, each day varies for me. I have a weekly routine, not a daily routine. All in all I have covered a time for repetition about what I know about my triggers and how to meet them in real life, physical exercises, relaxation exercises, walking or jogging, time for work and study, eating healthy, time to meet other people, amusements, and not to forget just relax without doing anything.

According to CBT, it is the way we think that make us feel depressed like; "Oh what an idiot I am that wasn't able to follow my daily planner for today". So I have worked and worked with my thoughts that precede my emotions.


It is not so that I have to follow my plans as a slave. It is more about to be aware of my triggers and to have a helping daily structure. What happened now, was that I felt so tired after the flu that I wasn't able to think clearly. So I was catastrophe thinking and that is OK. I mean that it is OK to backslide and to move on when one discovers that that is what one has done. I am back in my weekly routine now. Have already taken my morning walk and after a resting break I will continue my work for today.


When it comes to Bipolar disorder, there can be too many rapid changes in mood to be able to make a weekly plan, so often it is best to do one day at a time and be satisfied with that. Don't despair if you aren't able to make full-time plans, but maybe continue to work on your morning routines, one step at the time.


Good wishes for you!

Agree with that, focus on breath and not on Valium. I know how hard it is when the need is there!

@raspberrytorte HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Happy birthday @raspberrytorte !! I know how you feel about the old and "heavier" feeling so well! I turned 44 this year, so I feel your pain! Hopefully today is a better day, also so sorry about the pdoc woes, I hope they don't take you off that med too fast!

Today feels like a good day; had about 5.53 hours sleep on the CPAP - kind woke up all groggy with a dry throat, but I managed to get myself ready, take my meds, make my bed, and do my usual morning routine. Know how important a routine is @Rosi700 - I have kind of a weekly one, but my day and night routines are always pretty much the same.

Lots to do today - post office, meeting at church, AA meeting, try to squeeze in lunch, getting my eyebrows done, going to a bookstore, and then finally headed to the dreaded Walmart to do some shopping. Phew! Feels like so much, especially when I type it all out like that, lol. Someone on another thread had mentioned the convenience of Walmart, and I have to admit even though I hate the whole experience and the crowdedness, it really is the most convenient place to get the most of everything you need.

Hope everyone has a fantastic Tuesday!

Happy birthday raspberry tort! 🎂 🎉

@raspberrytorte, Congrats on another cycle around our favorite star! (or just most important anyway)

Thanks everyone for the happy birthday well wishes. 😊 I feel much better today, now that the loxapine is fully back in my system. Whew. That was a rough few days! Guess I need that med! I'm going to have to put my foot down about that one.

Happy birthday @raspberrytorte ! I’m glad you’re feeling better

I got up early, had a walk/jog. For the 2nd time this week, I had no hot water for my shower. It was more tolerable than usual though since I was hot & sweaty from being outside exercising. I will have to get H to look at the hot water heater but he has a training today.

I took my cat Pecan to the vet for her annual exam and shots. She was incredibly tough to get into the cat carrier. It was a bit of a workout chasing her down and getting her into the carrier. Then, we had to wait longer than usual at the vet b/c the vet had a dog come in with an emergency. I def. understand pet emergencies, but poor Pecan was NOT a happy camper having to wait so long. She was a very good kitty getting her shots though I was afraid she'd want nothing to do with me when we got home, but after about 5 min. home, she chilled out and let me approach and pet her again

The whole vet experience stressed me out though, and I'm still anxious. Trying to calm down some, may make some chamomile tea soon and see if that helps.

Good news is the bipolar has been stable for me so far. No highs, no lows, but my emotions are kind of flat too, if that makes any sense? I don't really enjoy having flat emotions, but it's better than being depressed and suicidal & since my last round of mania was sucky, it's better than that too, so I guess I just have to settle for now.

I’ve been up since the day before yesterday. I really need to sleep. My apartment inspection seemed to go well today. That’s a relief. They always make me so stressed and worried. But yeah, I’m doing well, my mood is good. I’m gonna draw some today.

Idk if any of you all play videogames but there’s this game called Wylde Flowers on the iPhone and it’s so cute and cozy and fun it really helps my anxiety. It pulled me out of dissociation yesterday and was a good distraction. I couldn’t figure out what to do for dissociation yesterday. I talked with my boyfriend on the phone. I took a shower cause sometimes temperature change helps, I read, watched shows etc but the game really gave me a lot of joy and helped me ground myself and calm down

Anyway, I’m just gonna try to enjoy the rest of the day as much as possible despite not sleeping. I’ll sleep tonight but it’s gonna be a long rest of the day. It’s dragging by.

But yeah, I’m currently watching Diabolical in preparation to watch season 4 of The Boys on Amazon prime.

I’m gonna make some thai tea and maybe play some more of that game

Saw liver doctor this morning. She ordered blood tests that I’m going to do after my appointment later thisafternoon at my primary doctor’s office for the dryness.

I feel kinda anxious today. But therapy was helpful. I got some things off my chest that were bothering me, and she taught me some grounding techniques. Shes really helpful. Physically I feel pretty ok today.

My mom took my nephews out to lunch and to the playground. My niece is in daycare full time. She is a handful now that she is almost 2. She also doesn't talk very much and they are looking into it.

@Blueberrybook I absolutely love the name Pecan for a cat! (but how do you pronounce it?)

@MuddyBoots
In the south, it's usually pronounced "puh-KAHN". My daughter named her that b/c when we took her in as a stray she was living under our shed by the pecan tree in our backyard.

That's the opposite of how I pronounce it-- pee can (like urine and the ability to do things)

Pecan be orange on certain antibiotics

'
LOLYou're funny

Woman in the bathroom just now didn't think so when she was hardcore peeing and I said I can skip my hike to the waterfall today.

Happy Birthday, @raspberrytorte!

Oof. Got everything I’ve been putting off done. Remembered to carry things out to the car, like insurance cards. Stopped at the bank because they called me by voice 3 times yesterday. Turned out it was just to confirm my Thursday appointment. Dropped of library books, got a bunch of stuff at Walmart and Walgreens. Before all that I did my laundry. I’m pooped not sure I’m up to penny poker tonight. Might just jump in the shower and put my clean pjs on. Watch the ridiculous BB. I’m running out of pennies anyway. Oof parking way out back is such a pain. But it’s safer than parking in the street. Only one more year before I maybe get a parking spot.

Totally exhausted! Did absolutely everything I set out to do today - I was out from exactly 9am to 5pm doing everything, it feels like all my errands are a full-time job, lol.

My boyfriend sent me a huge box of DVDs, books and trinkets yesterday, and so while watching "The Arrival" with Amy Adams, (great movie!), I decided to pick up one of the books he sent and start reading. It's called "Rendezvous with Rama" by Arthur C. Clarke (2001, and 2010 author), and its one of the only one of his I never read - should be interesting. It feels good to finally be able to have enough calmness and concentration to read again - plus the thunderstorm outside makes for a great reading environment!

Hope everyone is enjoying their Tuesday so far!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @raspberrytorte !!! Hope it was a fabulous day.

So today we have no students. It's a curriculum day so I'll be in meetings all day.

Yeehaa that means I don't see my horrible Year 8 class.

Small wins!