Bipolar Check-in #81

Well I slept six hours but now I’m
All wide awake again at 6am lol

Feeling a little calmer. The doc at psych immediate
Care wantede to postpone my trip
But I’m
Going with my cousin and she’ll loook after me

Here I come st louis!!!!!

I don't know what to do, pushing or accept, perhaps finding a middle way!

@JaneOnceMore, Happy Birthday!

Congrats on another trip around the sun @JaneOnceMore

Hey there @MuddyBoots - how you feeling today? Still worried about you - I totally know about the connecting dots and the numbers; I used to literally send number transmissions to NASA's website because I was thought I was being contacted. It was a really big rollercoaster back then.

Happy, Happy belated birthday @JaneOnceMore !! I hope you enjoyed it - sorry that I was late lol

Just keep on pushing through and keep up with your routines @Rosi700 - I know you can do it! So sorry to hear about your loss again @June08 I know how that can push us into depression, I am glad that you've managed to at least get out for your morning walk!

The weather has been so NICE!! It feels like Fall outside y'all, it was only 60 degrees this morning, I had the windows down all the way to work with the music blasting it felt so good. As a native New Yorker, this is the perfect weather for me.

I have a pdoc appointment Monday to let her know how I have been doing without the Lithium, but I have decided to push through all of it. I am so grateful to be off such heavy medication, I am going to fight through the ups and downs till I my body adjusts. I think being an alcoholic and bipolar, I have never felt what it was like to be without some kind of chemical in me, that my body just doesn't know how to be. But I am feeling really good today - made it into Raleigh and making it through another work shift.

Hope everyone is having a great Thursday!!

So I finally answered that number that kept calling that was coming from that debt collector. They were asking for a John. My name is not John. No one in house is named John. So I guess they just had the wrong that number. A bit of a relief to be honest. Everytime they called it made me anxious.

I slept ok and I got up and at 8:30 I got my cat in the carrier fairly easily then I went to the Starbucks drive thru because their fall menu dropped today. I got the apple crisp cream chai thing and a baked apple crosssiant. Neither agreed with me but I had forgotten my glasses and my stomach med.

Crookshanks needed bloodwork done because he has to have dental work done next wednesday. After that ordeal was done I came.home and layed down for a bit to calm my stomach. I'm feeling decent now.

I need a lot of groceries. I'm out of a lot of basic stuff.

My 24 year old cousin is smoking now. Do those anti smoking ads on TV not scare the crap out of Gen Z?

The category on Pictionary today was "things to do with feet" these producers on this show don't even try to hide their kinks. I've noticed it with a number of categories.

@LadyShadow, welp, I’m looking at a bed trying to divide by zero, but it’s not a limit from one side so the bed is undefined, and I hate it. I also just found the BEST PEN EVER FKKKK YEAH!!!!!

I can’t go to the library anymore because people make quiet noises instead of loud ones lately.

I ate cheese though because my dads birthday I guess was on the same as &janeoncemore and he was quite the cheesehead if you took all the New Yorker out of him.

I agree about the dd thing ladyshadow. Once I chanced the chemicals, no going back.

So sorry for those of you dealing with depression right now

I went for my usual walk/jog this morning. I also had an appt. with my gynecologist, just a routine well-woman exam. I told him that my last few periods have been extremely light and he said it's possible I'm in or approaching perimenopause, but on the other hand it could be awhile yet. He did send in a referral for a bone density test since I've had some osteopenia detected in the past. The pap smear results are supposed to be back in about a week. Glad to get that appt. over with!

Going to kick back and relax this afternoon, read a bit, watch TV on Hulu.

I hope everyone has a fantastic Thursday!

I just put someone else’s washed laundry in the dryer and turned it on for them so I could use the washer. Cost me $2 but people never come back to get their laundry! I left a note.

Edit: the guy came back as I was putting my clothes in the dryer. I told him what I’d done and he was happy and thanked me. There was 30 minutes left on his dryer instead of the usual 60. Saved me 30 minutes.

That was sweet moose. Paying it forward.

I’ve done it moose!!

Thanks everyone for the wonderful birthday wishes! It means a lot to me.

I found out my former father-in-law died in February. His obit did not list any kids for my ex-husband who divorced me to have kids. I suspect my ex was not able to have kids. He had a calcium deposit on his balls, so it seemed like he had three. I always wondered why i never had an accidental pregnancy, we did it so much, he was obsessed with sex. My mom was very fertile.

No matter, i am happier on my own. My father-in-law lived a good long life to 84 and died suddenly and unexpectedly at home so he didn't suffer. Donations were to The Heart and Stroke Foundation, so presumably it was a heart attack. My father-in-law was a good man! My ex and i divorced thirty years ago and have had no contact so it is not a traumatic loss for me, just sort of sad.

Anyways, hugs to all who struggle and thanks again to those who took a moment to give me birthday wishes.

Well it's Friday .... so close to the weekend I can almost see it lol. I speak to my counsellor tomorrow night. It's been about 5 weeks. Not much has changed at work. I'll let her know I'm applying to Primary Schools. Saw a post at a Primary School this morning I want to apply to but the post has been withdrawn. Sigh.

Call a crisis line enough and I guess your pdoc calls and gets a script for more Sammy-kill and PRN helldol

Happy belated birthday Jane!
Sorry it seems that there a lot of folks depressed.
It is summer but perhaps some of you may
not get out into the sun. check your vitamin
D3 levels they should be between 50-60.
Mine was really low so I take 5,000 units a day
to keep them at a good level, it is over the counter.
Or perhaps a light box for some extra light.
I drank too much last night
at the tap room for ladys night. 50% off all drinks and food.
We have acquaintances there that we are
friendly with. One of our friends showed up,
we were happy to see her. It had been a long time.
She is working until 7 pm so she got off early to come visit with us...
I was not able to function properly so I canceled my 10;30 am appt.
and went back to bed and got up at 11am.
and got up and made some calls and emailed a friend.
Then went to sandras for lunch
Grilled egg plant it was good I did not like the pasta it
came with but really enjoyed the corn and plum crumble for dessert.
Almost 2 weeks ago I fell at the beach and sprained my ankle.

It really hurt and still hurts if I move it a certain way.
I have been doing some range of motion exercises through out the day.
I wear one of those sketchers slip on shoes and it helps support my

ankle. I swear that different parts of my body hurt off and on
because The rest of my body is compensating for my weak ankle.
I tried icing it up and that made it hurt more so I will stick with doing

range of motion exercises.
Enough about that!
moods stable. Sleep is rough at times But I have meds to take if need be.
Bizi

I was at school for about 12 hours today because it was parent night. I decided to stay at school, after getting some coffee, instead of going home in between so I could work on lesson plans and make some copies. It's a good thing I stayed because it was after 4 pm before I was able to make copies (school gets out at 3 pm). We have three copy machines at our school, but two are broken, so a bunch of teachers were using the one working one after school.

I think parent night went well. I am horrible at remembering faces/names when I briefly meet someone so I feel awful that I won't remember the parents I've met...

My mood was pretty okay today-some decision paralysis and post decision anxiety though.

The concert was amazing!
We got to stand in thr pit the
Whole show!!!’

@HALLIEBETH87 Who did you see?

Dierks Bentley! My bestie is stagecrew and drum/bas tech for him

I'm having some serious anxiety. I woke up this way and now it's 2 AM and I can't sleep. The day started with my typical anxieties when things are really hard and it's just been one thing after another. I realized that the scheduling for my temporary therapist has a big hole in it. Whatever, it can probably be fixed and if not I can survive. I know she's on vacation in there but I can't think she'd take 2 weeks at once. I feel that's where I am now, survival mode. The anxiety is making me feel my depression more and it's just one huge cycle I'm scared I'm stuck in for 5 1/2 more weeks. And I do know that's not terribly long but right now it really feels like it is.

I am actually really anxious to see temporary therapist this week. I don't think we're a great match but I do think she maybe can help the anxiety cycle. But that's not until Tuesday.

Tomorrow I have to do a few errands that I put off today because I had a migraine aura. I never had a full-blown migraine but I've felt weird all day and really shouldn't be driving once an aura hits anyway. I need to use some stuff my mom got me to try to get tar off my car. It's white and the tar looks awful on it. Plus it's just not good for the car. And I have to clean the seal on my refrigerator. It's not sealing well and I'm hoping that a scrubbing will fix it. I also have to do laundry. So I have all these things to keep my busy but I'm so anxious it's hard to pick a lane. And it feels like it all needs to be done tomorrow. It doesn't. Anxiety is speaking again.

Anyway I'm going to see if I can read myself to sleep. Just so frustrated with this anxiety.

Just got an email saying one of the primary schools have withdrawn their position. Probably means I’m the only applicant and I didn’t even make it to interview.

@LadyShadow Thank you for your encouragement!

I still feel down, not so depressed, but out of energy. I have a new medication for my diabetes, and I have read that exhaustion can be a side effect. So I don't know what to think about this.

I will see my GP for diabetes control in the beginning of September. I'll try to follow my plans until then. If this down feeling is a side effect that will last for long, I think we have to stop that medication. I will discuss it with the GP. After all it is no use to have me on a medication that can contribute to more depression, if that is what it is.

Thanks again!

You are strong! @LadyShadow I wish you continued Good Luck!

Hi @BeyondtheRainbow, I am sorry to hear about your anxiety and that it turns you into depression!

Is it possible for you to use some time on Relaxation exercises? There are lots of them at YouTube.

Sending good wishes for you!

Ok
So
I’m
Finally not
Hyper