Bipolar Check-in #83

The time between cycles is lengthening too. Forty some days.

The moonrise was nice. It's reddish when it rises, the brightens up to white. The features on it looked a little like a smile. Cute. Otherwise i laid around all day and feel bored and cranky and depressed.

@Scooter9 that's such a cool picture!


Today, I feel like a whole new person. The last two days, I could barely handle any stress. Today, I learned my car needed $2,000 of work (thankfully, they do financing) and I'm handling it pretty well-just a normal level of anxiety that comes with something like this. I've also been able to manage feelings of being overwhelmed enough to get some stuff done today. I still have more to do tomorrow, but that's okay.

My roommate gets back tonight after being gone for a week it's just been me and her cat. Often times, my anxiety gets really high while I'm living alone, but it stayed pretty manageable this time so that was nice. Time to start readjusting to living amongst her stuff again. I'm grateful I've had you all to connect with while I've been spending my evenings by myself for the past week.

I just now got to see the waning gibbous moon as the clouds finally blew away. Looks very 1970’s. I don’t know why, it looks like 1970’s, it just does.

Trying to stay hydrated. I’m on lithium and I don’t drink nearly enough water. My gp asked me if I can try make more of an effort and I agreed to.

Took my son to the beach and he had a splash in the waves. Totally enjoyed himself. Weather has been glorious so that’s nice.

I'm still not feeling any better. I've been drinking regular black tea with honey and not decaf which is probably why I'm still up. I turned my fan on so I can breathe better.

SNL was funny tonight. I was wondering the other day if he realized YMCA is a gay anthem.

I could use a margarita pizza. All I've had are protein shakes lately.

Re YMCA - its probably played at at the weddings at mar a lago.

Good morning. Did 45 minutes on the treadmill. Have my volunteer shift with the rescue kitties later today. Only slept 2 hours. Feeling stressed about a million things. Which is why I got on the treadmill so early. To try to calm myself down. Just focusing on doing what I can to be healthy.

I finally after months sleep through the night, yay trazidone.

I missed talking to Caleb last night because he didn’t call until 8:45 and I had taken my meds at 8:00 and the gabapentin had well and truly taken hold and I physically could not answer the phone when he called! Now we are playing phone tag. I didn’t get up till 9! I think I’m catching up on my manic lack of sleep.

Last night I could barely breathe. My nose would just get so clogged up I would stop being able to breathe out of my nose. As fast as I blew it the faster it got clogged up. I thought I was going to have to go to the ER so I woke my mom up and she told me to take a steamy shower. So I took a hot shower at 3 in the morning and I found some Vicks bath beads and I put a bunch in the shower and then after that I felt better and I fell asleep from 3:30 to 6.

But this morning I finally tested postive. I'm just really out of it mainly. And I'm still coughing a lot. My temp is like 99. I ordered a bunch of Vicks stuff from Walmart and I got a couple Margharita pizzas lol.

I’m sorry it’s Covid. But now you know. There is a prescription pill that’s supposed to help you get over Covid faster. I took it and it did work. I forget the name but maybe you could ask your doctor about it.

Those 1L reusable bottles have made it so much easier for me to stay hydrated. Learned that from the OG ride ops.

I had a really quick dream last night where I asked my mom "Where's Aumont St?" and she said "Southeast of Canada" and that was the whole dream

I have a screaming baby boy to attend to, busy day. I hope the college gets back to me tomorrow on that program.

Thank you @Blueberrybook, @June08, and @MuddyBoots! I'm glad you like the pictures!
@MuddyBoots I use my phone to take my pics but I got this phone specifically to capture these pics. It's a Pixel 9 Pro XL because its camera is very good. That, and going to a dark place helps a lot.

My anxiety is high but it's manageable. I am feeling kind of low and irritable today, so I'm reminding myself to be more patient.

I haven't done any meditation, I just can't get into it. My thoughts are just coming up in quick succession and if I try to relax, I fall asleep

I think this is happening because my sleep is way down (4..5 hours).

I stayed in bed long after I woke up. Just didn’t want to get up. Amazing how I can do that now that Sir is not here. My staying in bed made him nervous. He liked routine. Even if I got up and fed him he didn’t want me going back to bed. Kind of bittersweet. I’m not feeling as depressed or sad but not quite normal either.

Today is shower day and fill the weekly pill container. Plus I told my daughter I’d come over. But I’m not really wanting to go.

Hi all! I didn’t sleep well last night. Wide awake at 2:00am and got out of bed at 4:20am. Had some coffee. Making me feel jittery. Anxiety and I’m not sure why exactly. I go for my skin cancer screening test today. Hopefully they don’t find anything to cut out because that’s going to cost $$$. My partner had skin cut out last week and tested and that cost him $350. Fortunately came back non cancerous. Hands are slightly shaky I notice whilst holding my iPhone. I’m not sure if it’s the nerves or lithium increase. I think nerves. Why am I not looking forward to today and the day has not even started. Oh boy it’s going to be a long one …

@Crazy Hitch I just had a mole biopsied at the dermatologist which ugh, came back abnormal so I have to go back next week and have another biopsy and to get the margins removed. I'm anxious about that because H had an abnormal mole once and had to get the 2nd biopsy and the doctor really hacked him up. And I already have to return this week to the dermatologist's office to have the nurse remove the stitches I got from the first biopsy. It's not cheap for me either. I had to pay $75 for the doc visit and biopsy and probably the same or more for the next appt. and that is with insurance. They better not charge me for the nurse visit. At least your partner's mole wasn't cancerous. I hope your screening goes well and the doc doesn't find anything.

This morning I was actually able to take a 35 min. walk! My pulled groin muscle didn't hurt, and hopefully that will still be the case tomorrow. That was a pleasant surprise. It felt like that injury would never heal.

The walk perked up my mood though I have wonderful PMS symptoms like backache & sore boobs. My period is due in 5 or 6 days but unlike those of you whose periods are coming late, lately my cycles seems to be getting closer & closer together

I am so bored! Nobody to talk to. Caleb is ignoring me. Dunno if he’ll try to call tonight or not.

I’m bored too. Leaving in 1.5 hours for my skin cancer check up. Just playing on my phone passing the time …..

Same here. I should watch YouTube or something.

My iPad is broken. I have to take it in this week sometime to get fixed otherwise I’d be watching videos too!

This covid can go garggle tartar sauce. I can barely breathe and my blood pressure is 140/84 and my pulse is 109. My temp is 100.2. And I keep yakking.

I have had like 4 covid shots. My 72 year old mom and 33 year old brother are up watching TV and I can barely make it out of bed to the bathroom 5 feet away.

I tested postive today but I've had symptoms for like 4 or 5 days. And one of these days is supposed to be the worst.

Oh man. I am just wiped today from my period and getting over being sick. I'm SO tired, and I slept like shyt last night because I always sleep like shyt during that time of the month. I have so much I need to get done ezine-wise, and instead I'm just laying here.

I did manage to get my greasy booty in the shower though and the apartment is cleaned and de-flead for the day, so that's good at least. Now Husband feels like he's coming down with something. Most likely same thing I had/am getting over still. It's not too bad. Just something that lasts 24 hours. I don't think it was/is the covid or anything.

Mole people - Long time ago I had two suspicious looking moles removed. Both came back abnormal. My dermatologist just told me to wear sun tan lotion when I'm outside. I didn't have to go back in for a second biopsy or anything.... Do you always have to go back in for a second biopsy? Neither mole needed stitches after being removed. I just want to know if I have a neglectful dermatologist or something!