Bipolar Check-in #86

I do listen to them. I like the version they do of Dancing On My Own.

I just listened to the regular version of Cheap Thrills.

Awesome

Very full day of deep cleaning today. I'm just waiting on my last load of laundry to get done in the dryer so I can put it away. I had to stop a couple of times while cleaning because my POTs symptoms started acting up. Hopefully, I'll feel okay tomorrow.

I have a busy day tomorrow. I have an appointment after school and then want to go to a meeting at my church to look into getting involved with this volunteer organization. I also have a couple of before school parent meetings so just a few different things in general going on this week.

Wouldn't you know it, as soon as i get new glasses, i lose them. They were a really nice pair too, square while my face is round and the contrasting shapes really emphasize each other. They were indestructible black plastic frames too. But i called the pub and they're not there, and i called the cab company, and the driver says they are not in the cab. I don't know where they could be. Possibly just misplaced somewhere in my home, and they'll turn up. I have these POS back up ones, which drive me mad. It seems that if i get ****** stuff i have it forever, but if i get stuff i really like, i lose it immediately.

Went out for dinner to the pub i discovered last night and had my nice "Boxty" eggs and veg dish again. The salad was better this time, i ate it all. I chatted with a woman next to me at first, but then she left and the place was pretty deserted, being a Sunday night and all. Feeling lonesome again. It's a bit depressing to go to a pub alone. Well at least i had company this afternoon. Do not know why i am such an attention ***** all of a sudden. It's really not like me. Usually i treasure my privacy.

But now i'm just wanting to socialize for most of the day. Wrote some inappropriate texts to my youngster friend and he hasn't responded, but he knows of my neurodivergence and is pretty open-minded, so i don't think there's any permanent damage done. He might just have been trying to nap or something, or is just not responding in hopes that he discourages me from persisting, which is pretty likely, he is one busy young man.

Getting unfocussed vision frequently lately. Don't know if it's the sleep deprivation, but it's annoying. This laptop is annoying too, better get off of it for the night. Off to bed, as falling asleep at the keyboard. This is a good sign as it's only 10:30pm. Hope to got to bed early for the rest of my life. No ffuucckkiinngg disco for six hours until early morning, like those dark years i was with my X. It's a provilege to got to bed early, and not be harrassed.

Too tired to proofread and edit my post, so pleas excuse any typos, misspellings, wrong words, or gramatical errors.

Work is finished and I get to go home in 15 minutes woohoo. Wasn't a bad day by any means. Quite bearable and I accomplished a lot. Go me. Tomorrow is not going to be as great.

Forgot melatonin and only got 4.5 hours of sleep last night. Will take one now and hope to get drowsy and go back to sleep. It's 3:30am now.

Wide awake from SA nightmare. Not sure I want to go back to sleep. I probably need a PRN but am not ready to face sleep yet. I hate that kind of nightmare. I don't have them that often but they really shake me when I do get them. I've had too many nightmares the last week. I'm not sure what is triggering them. This one was so bad my cat immediately came and calmed me down and is sticking close by now. She knows how to help.

@JaneOnceMore I hope you get back to sleep.

I hope everyone else had great sleep lasting many hours.

@JaneOnceMore We went to Niagara Falls 2 years ago. I'd been there a few times before but it was my nieces' first time and that was magical to watch. Of course it was very busy and touristy but that's part of the package there.

When I was in 8th grade we went to Niagara Falls on a class trip but also went to Toronto to the zoo and science museum. We also went to the CN tower but I'm deathly afraid of heights and I only lasted about 30 seconds. I got to go into the Hard Rock Cafe with my teacher instead though (it was really popular then) so that made up for missing out on the portion of the class trip.

I'm glad to know I didn't break laws bringing meds across customs. When I went to Dominican Republic I took everything in bottles in a couple gallon bags and nobody looked at it but I'd do that again going to a lot of places.

Exactly! I took myself off of doxepin, (it's an old school anti depressant that they use now off label for sleep). I've been losing weight. My caregiver is you barely eat. I'm like it's bc I came off a med.

But what I'm worried about is having to be put back on when as I come off clonazapam. I'm glad you got the weight loss med. 😊

Do you all know whether it’s okay to take Dramamine with psych meds? I feel really dizzy so I was thinking of taking one to see if it helps the dizziness

@Blue_Bird You can search for "med interaction checker" on google. That will get you a box where you enter all your meds and dramamine and it will tell you if there's a problem.

Thanks, looks like the only interaction is it can increase the drowsiness from 2 of my meds. Unsure if it’s worth taking I’ve never taken Dramamine before. Idk if it’ll help the dizziness or make it worse by making me more tired.

I hate dizziness, it scares me. Idk where it’s even from. Could be any of my meds as like 3 out of 4 of them can increase the risk of dizziness.

I would look at it like a positive. That's a pretty low dose of lorazepam. Maybe learn some coping skills before you go off it. Just a suggestion. Big hugs. I'm sorry you're sick!

Super cool!

Yeah I have to get driving on my own. My son is at a very different part of town and I have I get so anxious I have to pull over and I'm on the verge of a panic attack. You know shaking, sweating, fast heart rate etc. He was in a different place and I got it down to wear I had no problem getting there. He tells me it's easy but it's not.

I should have explained cbt like this: it's about changing your thoughts to then changing your feelings to then changing your behavior. I think I got that right anyway.

My son is sick and I hope it's not the flu. He never takes it seriously when he's sick. He had a really bad a really bad case of covid and was coughing his head off and just miserable. But he would be like it's not that bad. I'm going to call the daytime nurse tomorrow and have her test him for covid and ask her to keep an eye on her.

I feel so estranged from my family since my son did what he did to me. It's not my sister's. But my nephew who got his PhD in geography in Canada and his wife and their son I think have asked my sister who had the stroke to not ask us to family gatherings. I'm trying to start new traditions with my son and they end up a mess. I know why now and it's a long story but he's going to have to change his sleep schedule. Or else he comes out with no sleep bc he had just woken up at 7pm. So essentially by the time 7pm hits he hasn't taken his meds for 24 hours. He won't take them. Finally around 10pm he takes them but sleeps for hours. He's just got to charge his sleep schedule. The only time I see my sister's is in the summer. It suuuucks!

I ended up falling back asleep on the couch and when I woke up the dizziness was gone so that’s good. Now I’m just waiting for my apartment pre-inspection. I swear I’m so sick of inspections. They do them once a month and also then every 6 months they have a pre inspection and a code enforcement inspection too. It’s just how it is I guess cause I live in supportive housing. Still annoying and makes my anxiety go up. I hate having people in my apartment. My apartment is clean and organized it just makes me nervous having people in here like judging me or whatever lol I lived in complete independent housing before this like 6 years ago but I wasn’t managing well cause I was isolating a lot and not cleaning and having issues with my mental health and had no support. So that’s why I got into supportive housing. It’s a step below assisted housing. So like I have my own apartment here and I live my life independently but I do have check ins with a program manager and work on goals and whatnot and there’s community events I go to and my rent is subsidized.

You're so nice! Thank you. ❤️

I'm sorry about your struggles with your son. I hope things get better. 🙏

I feel a little bit better today sick wise (I think anyway. My throat is just really scratchy now and I've been blowing my nose like crazy), which is good because of my labret piercing at 1:30pm. I don't want to have a needle halfway through my lip and start hacking up a lung or something in my piercer's face. Lol. That happened to me when I was sick in January and went to my eye doctor appointment. He was in the middle of checking my eyes and I had to turn away and cough. I was all like, "I'm so sorry..." hack hack "Dr Jorgentson..." hack hack. It was really embarrassing. 😳 haha.

I put together a collection of my short stories to self publish. I'm just kind of stuck on a title. I keep on wanting to call it Quetiapine Dreams (because all the stories were inspired by seroquel induced sleep dreams), but quetiapine is such a difficult word to pronounce and spell, unless you've heard it a million times. Hmm.

@BeyondtheRainbow

Sorry to hear you've been having nightmares. That really sucks. I hope you get better sleep soon.

@JaneOnceMore

I hope you get more sleep too!

And anyone else I missed, sweet dreams. 😴

Sunset painting I did today

Son of a *beep*. I'm hearing music again!

I didn’t fare well last night. Was almost asleep when a thought intruded and I started thinking on that. The next thing I know it’s 6:06am and I haven’t been asleep yet. So I only managed a couple of hours. The bedcovers are a mess.

Good morning everyone

I slept a bit better last night and only woke up at 5:40am when my partner left for work. Today is a bit of a tricky day at work. Not sure I’m looking forward to it. But I will survive even if I have to contact parents. I just know a group of students in the one class will do nothing but play games on their devices. I’ll email work home and tell their parents to get them to finish it for homework. That usually works.

I will have to catch up on posts after lunch.

I am still doing well, stable, which is a bit boring to report on but I'm feeling pretty happy nonetheless. I slept very well last night; when I woke up, my cat Pecan was not jumping & walking on me as usual but nudging and loving on me which is so sweet. I took a power walk/jog this morning and I think I jogged too much, will be sore tomorrow, I just wanted to see what I was capable of.

I came in, had a quick shower because H needed to get up early to get in to a meeting for work. I made H's lunch, read with the SAD lamp (pretty good book, so that's always nice, great concentration today). I did a load of laundry, put out the trash for trash pickup today, and I drew. I drew several pictures of fruit though some were tricky as they had water droplets on them, and simple as they should be, I am not good at drawing water droplets! I also drew a quoka, which I'd never heard of but learned it is a marsupial that lives in western Australia. All drawings in the Creative Corner forum.

I have a pic I downloaded of a quoka from the internet & then there is my drawing of a quoka: