Bipolar Check-in #89

I like your drawing @Blue_Bird! The 5 minute drawing book is awesome; I just wish she had written more than 1 of them!

Thanks blueberry! I hope you feel better soon

Also just did a quick sketch of one of my favorite anime characters

Got up this morning and headed over to my daughter’s. We had the last hour and a half of stranger things. Now we’ve got to wait until October for the new season. Meanwhile we’re going to start rings of power.

Tomorrow I go back over there to pick up my granddaughter from school. My grandson has a medical appointment. So me and my granddaughter will have a blast.

Wow great art today!

I'm only teaching one class today because my Year 9s are on camp and they haven't given me an Extra

Nobody could hear me on the phone so my mom bought me a new iPhone 16e from the Apple store! I cried at the store! She said I need it for my psych stuff!

That's really kind of her @Moose72

I am having a day from Hell. I don't feel grateful for anything. I hate everything and I just want to scream. Nothing seems to be going right.

More of my blood work came in. High cholestrol and high and low other stuff. But my A1C was good and so was my thyroid level.

I was dying for some tiramasu so I got a piece from walmart and I hope I can sleep. I don't crave cake or cookies too often but when I do its weird stuff like tiramasu.

I'm sorry it's such a crappy day for you right now @LadyShadow. Onwards and upwards for a better day tomorrow

I’m sorry it’s a crappy day. Must be a lot of that going around today.

Yes! I started crying at the store and she wasn’t even there!

@Crazy Hitch it's always wonderful to get a light teaching load day, especially when there is a lot of stuff to get caught up on!

I'm sorry you're having a rough day @LadyShadow

Hi everyone. It's good to be back on here. I can't go get caught up on all of the posts I missed because I need to focus on packing for my move on Friday, but I hope everyone is doing well and that those who are struggling may get what they need to get some relief.

I'd say seeing my family went well. So far, it doesn't seem to have triggered any symptoms. I'm so proud of my godson for receiving his First Communion and I'm grateful my schedule allowed me to attend. This week will be a real test for my vertigo, POTs, and bipolar symptoms. I predict some late nights/early mornings to get ready to move. And, the stress and physical labor of packing won't help. Packing has an old back injury acting up so I'm taking a short rest before I get back to it. I'm working on getting my kitchen stuff packed tonight up so tomorrow I can focus on my bedroom and bathroom.

I did pick up the keys to my new place today. It sure is a small studio (400 square feet), but this is the largest one I could find. And, the complex has good reviews which is what is most important. I cleaned it today. I will probably go back on Thursday to work on the check in sheet I need to (looking for damage, etc). I see my pdoc after school tomorrow so, by the time I get home from there, I won't have a good amount of time to focus on the list.

May we all get a good nights rest!

I’m gonna see if my doctor can remove my schizoaffective disorder bipolar type diagnosis. I think the CPTSD/PTSD is enough in terms of covering what I deal with.

Maybe we can start cutting out some of these meds

The tiramasu has me freaking out a bit. I can't get comfortable in bed because my joints are hurting. But I'm not sure I even took any Tylenol today. I literally went to get my bloodwork and then passed out for most of the day. My mom got arthrtis tylenol yesterday. That might help.idk

I'm honestly thinking its hepatitis. I know my cats have like walked around my needles before and my mom will cough and not wash her hands sometImes.

I was lying on a med bottle. Lol

Your manga drawing is great @Blue_Bird! Careful about cutting meds as you seem pretty stable at the moment. If it doesn't need to be fixed, don't break it.

@Lady Shadow - I hope today is much better than yesterday. If you care to tell, what went wrong? Only up to you to tell us if you want to. We are all allowed are privacy.

@June08 I hope moving into your new apartment goes well. I have an old back/pelvis injury in my right SI joint (that one started in pregnancy) and a pelvic injury that came from a fall. It acts up from time to time and it is H*LL. You are such an inspiration working, handling POTS & bipolar, getting IVs all the time, that would drive me crazy. I twice needed IVs for low iron/anemia and I hated that. One time it took all day several days because that was all the stupid insurance would pay for. Kind of depressing b/c I was put in with cancer patients too though they for the most part had good attitudes about receiving iron and/or chemo.

@Moose72 How wonderful of your mom! I would cry too in your shoes. My mom is sometimes passive aggressive and sometimes great as she did pay parts of my $7000 hospitalization bill (yes, with insurance) when I had that ulcer surgery. Once I got that bill to around $4000 (paying $100/month) the hospital forgave the rest of the debt, thank God. At the time H was working as a high school teacher and he hardly made anything.

@Nammu Enjoy your day with your granddaughter. How old is she?

As for me, I'm taking my daughter to a computer science AP test. I hope she passes as she will then get college credit for the course. These AP tests are $100 a pop, but much cheaper than taking the course in college. She already has some credit from previous courses she took last year, I forget which ones, maybe psychology and anthrology. I just worry about getting there on time. I always worry about being late to appts./arrival times.

I slept from 8:30 until 4 without waking up or without music. I weighed myself and I was .4 pounds less then yesterday. I'm a bit achy. I never did get that tylenol. And I'm not hungry for breakfast. Or for anything. I'm coughing a bit. I feel ok I guess.

Maybr I'll get my haircut today. I don't feel that and I need it cut

Thanks @Blueberrybook and yeah you’re right I should just leave things as they are

Good morning. Today’s plans are to go to the pharmacy to pick up one of my meds and then tonight I’m going to the movie theater to see Until Dawn. I finally slept. I slept 7 hours. Really needed it.

Papi just chilling on my backpack. And Mustachio playing with her catnip banana

After a couple of days of sleeping for 7 hours, I've been back to 4 for the past several nights.

Traded in my old phone at the Apple Store. Got $130! For that piece of xxxxx!

She’s 7 going to be 8 in June. She’s got very intense interests, she’s in cheer, gymnastics and does a lot of art. Her gymnastics captain said she’s now good enough to enter competitions instead of being in class.

Oh it’s good your daughter get the AP classes. I wish I’d had more instructors advising me what to take. I had too many credits for high school and they told me to take collage classes my senior year. My parents never went to college so I signed up for cake decorating, science fiction literature classes and a couple more in that vain. It would have been so much more useful to take regular English class and science classes. I loved school it would not have been a hardship. My first two years of college I never had an advisor so I was still taking electives instead of getting the required classes out of the way. But oh well university was cheaper in those days. I paid my own way by working as a CNA graveyard.

Sleep is proving hard. It’s gotten so it’s above 70 degrees in here. Even with the AC set on 67 it’s only 70. I don’t sleep well at that temperature. This is only the beginning of May. It’s going to be a long summer. Spring is not as short as autumn. Winter is shorter too. Definitely climate changes.

There were a lot of things @Blueberrybook - but like most of us here my period started yesterday, and we all know how that goes. I was never one to think I had PMS, but as I got older and now in my 40s, I notice my mood swings around my cycle are a lot more severe. Things were not going well yesterday; my computer was still giving me a lot of problems, and my money and job woes are getting really bad. Things relationship wise, (or lack thereof), are no good either. It's just a lot.

I have a lot to do today, but I don't think I am going to do anything. My sleep has been bad the past few nights too, and with this period, I am just so drained and tired. I think today will be a day on the couch, and I just have to remember to be grateful that I have the privilege to do that, and not a lot of responsibility hanging over my shoulders. Hoping to get a good nights sleep tonight, and view things with fresh eyes tomorrow.

Overall I just don't feel good. I need to stay off of Facebook too. One of my friend's boyfriends tagged her and wished her a happy anninvversary and how much he loved her - I burst out crying for like 10 minutes at how alone I am.

Just really out of energy today. I went home on lunch and laid down. Still very tired. Back hurts. Hoping the day picks up for me.

Facebook can be really triggering @LadyShadow. Most people only post highlights and the best parts of themselves so it’s skewed and doesn’t show the whole picture and can make it seem like others have better lives than we do. Social media in general does that. Instagram, etc. it always triggers comparison. I stopped using Facebook a few months ago. It was really hard but I felt the cons outweighed any benefits of it. Anyone I wanted to stay in touch with I have their phone number. Not to mention all the political stuff showing up in my newsfeed stressed me out constantly. I understand feeling lonely. I feel that way a lot too. I don’t really have many in person friends. The closest I can call friends are some of my neighbors here in supportive housing. And I don’t really have family other than my sister and niece and we rarely see eachother. No more relationship either as I cut out my ex out of my life permanently and have no plans to ever date again. Most of my friends are online friends. People I’ve been online friends with for over 10 years. That I video chat with and talk to everyday. But I do have my cats so that’s nice. And my volunteer job. Loneliness sucks. Are there any like classes or things you can go to like a art class or a paint and sip class or something like that? Sometimes you might meet someone there you can eventually be friends with.

In the meantime keep doing stuff for yourself. Going to movies, your church meetings etc I go to the movies completely by myself cause I have no one to go with. It sucks but it’s better than sitting at home alone all day.