Bipolar Check-in #89

Hope you feel better blue_bird.

Food Did some activities in my brain games book. I don't think it's helping yet but I'm on book 1 of 7. So hopefully this time next month I'll build up enough of a tolerance that I can do two hours a day of school work.

Thanks VictoriasMom and everyone. Made it to the theater. I’ll update again after I get home. Sitting in the theater waiting for the movie to start

trying to get a last minute appt with T for tomr at 11 am. im off so i can go if he gets back with me befre then to let me know i can go. i was triggered bad today by gun shots. bad memories flooding back

That’s awesome! Looks like a photo!

Thanks @LadyShadow.

I am sensing very subtle changes both physically and mentally, it's really nice.

It's all deep within but it's helping to change my outlook.

My family on the other hand, is getting impatient. They're expecting results, as in a cure.

My wife asked my doctor directly when she could expect to see results and why I didn't see colors or shapes, or 'deal with' past trauma when under the influence of psylocibin. Of course, he couldn't provide a direct answer, much to her disappointment.

High blood pressure Nyquil worked so well I feel like I can leave my house tommorow. My cough and sore throat are gone and I'm able to watch American Idol. I don't think the high blood pressure stuff causes drowsiness.

My weird neighbor and her car are really driving me nuts. I finally looked as soon as I heard her and I just saw a flash of her go by. Things don't get shady until dark though.

The movie was fantastic!! Also, on my walk home there was a possum walking next to me , I think I accidentally scared it and it ran off to the hedges though I’m glad because it was headed toward the road before and there’s a lot of cars on that road. Omg it was so cute. The movie was phenomenal but seeing that possum walking near me was so sweet and made it even more worth having gone out tonight.

Aww that sounds lovely. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a possum in the wild. How cool.

I decided I need a service dog if I'm ever going to be independent.

I can't take the Medicaid transportation because that's getting into a car with a bunch of strangers. I thought that would help me save $60+ a month but no. I had to have a panic attack the whole ride. Then my mom made it worse by talking about all the things that could have happened and told me never to go alone. Thanks mom. Now I'm trying to figure out a way to get my next dog and train it.

I am glad the movie was good @Blue_Bird - I am glad you were able to get out and even see a cute possum! How cool! I have decided to go and see Thunderbolts either Wednesday or Thursday this week. I shouldn't complain, but my movie theater only shows movies after 4pm from now on all of a sudden, and that really complicates things for me. Another thing I find interesting is: when did grocery stores stop selling distilled water? I don't get it. I am going to have to go to the dreaded Walmart for it, and I HATE going there, ugh. I need special water for my CPAP; I just didn't realize how much of a hassle it's becoming.

I had a pretty good evening. The emails have turned into phone calls 5 days in a row, so it looks like I am getting somewhere. It's funny I didn't even notice because I was focused on other things. I have to shift my focus if I ever hope to have a good life, and start enjoying things again. But I watched some episodes of "The Odd Couple" with my friend and enjoyed a quiet evening. There was some pretty bad hail earlier today, I hope everyone had good weather by them. I had to check my windshield to see if it was damaged that's how big these hail were.

My mom said I'm "getting scary." With my preouccpation with the neighbor and her car. Its paranoia but idk if its on the verge of pyschosis. This is the second night its kept me up and she hasn't even been out in 4 hours. My pdoc will be useless if I bring this up even with my mom there. Like would a stand alone pysch hospital take someone with complex medical condtions. Or can he just grow a pair and put me back on my prestiq even if he won't raise my lamictal. At least I was showering when I was on that and not scared out of my mind at night.

I am getting some good therapy. Somatic regulation emdr stuff. So I think its kinda a med issue at this point.

I finally caught her. Not like confronting her. Just saw her through the window. But I heard her open her door and she was in the right side rummaging around in her night gown

Maybe she needs a wellness check and I'm just being an ***?.

N3 got an A+ in Physics and all A’s in the rest! He’s a computer science engineering major. He’ll be a junior in the Fall and that’s when things really get going, so I hear!

Haven’t heard N1’s final grades but from the sounds of it she is set to get all A’s as well! She really wants to get into U of M! One more semester at community college then she’ll apply.

Besides pertussis, asthma, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, pneumonia, tuberculosis and choking can also result in a paroxysmal cough.

Found that on google. I have asthma and an asthma attack started all this back on Thursday. I also have COPD in my record at one hospital near me but not in the one I do the vast majority of my health care. I should straighten that out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Aww that sounds lovely. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a possum in the wild. How cool.

LOL! I see possums all the time. They are cute in their own way. Sometimes they come to drink at a water bowl we keep outside for squirrels or a lagger will be up near dawn. They are considered pests by many; however, they eat mosquitoes and that is good enough for me! Once we saw a mama possum with babies drinking from the water bowl...so cute!

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyShadow I am glad the movie was good @Blue_Bird - I am glad you were able to get out and even see a cute possum! How cool! I have decided to go and see Thunderbolts either Wednesday or Thursday this week. I shouldn't complain, but my movie theater only shows movies after 4pm from now on all of a sudden, and that really complicates things for me. Another thing I find interesting is: when did grocery stores stop selling distilled water? I don't get it. I am going to have to go to the dreaded Walmart for it, and I HATE going there, ugh. I need special water for my CPAP; I just didn't realize how much of a hassle it's becoming. I had a pretty good evening. The emails have turned into phone calls 5 days in a row, so it looks like I am getting somewhere. It's funny I didn't even notice because I was focused on other things. I have to shift my focus if I ever hope to have a good life, and start enjoying things again. But I watched some episodes of "The Odd Couple" with my friend and enjoyed a quiet evening. There was some pretty bad hail earlier today, I hope everyone had good weather by them. I had to check my windshield to see if it was damaged that's how big these hail were.

@Blue_Bird If you can find what is called "nursey water" in the baby/toddler section at least it is called that here, it is distilled water (though look at the label of course), and it often is a bit cheaper than buying distilled water from the nursey aisle!

Found this: Possums are omnivores and have a diverse diet that includes fruits, vegetables, insects, small animals, carrion (dead animals), and even human-associated foods like garbage and pet food. They are known for their scavenging habits and can be beneficial in gardens by controlling pests like insects, rodents, and snails.

This film comes out on Christmas Day! Ella is my niece who acts and writes and produces her own songs. I hope she sings in the movie! I’ll have to ask my sister if that’s true. This is her first adult roll. Look her up on IMDb. Here’s what AI says….

Yes, Ella Anderson is a cast member of the 2025 film "Song Sung Blue" and is likely to be involved in the musical aspects of the movie. The movie features Hugh Jackman and Kate Hudson as musicians who form a Neil Diamond tribute band. While it's not explicitly stated that Ella Anderson sings, she is part of the cast, and given the musical nature of the film, it's highly probable she contributes to the musical performances

N1 just texted me that she got her final grades- all A+’s!!!!

I’m so tired. I slept 3 hours last night and 6 the night before that. I couldn’t get to sleep last night till late because I was too wound up from being out at the movie theater late.

I’m supposed to be going to see thunderbolts later today around 3:30pm. I’m debating just staying home and trying to get some sort of sleep though. I’ll probably take a shower then see how I feel though

I'm at work. I dont want to be here -- my head hurts a little and I just want to curl up and bed and sleep. Hopefully I can make it through.

Took a shower. Then laid down in bed next to Mustachio for a couple hours. I wasn’t able to actually fall back asleep but I at least rested while listening to EMDR bilateral beats in headphones on the Calm app the whole time. So it was nice. I’m heading out to walk to the movie theater in 2 hours from now to see Thunderbolts. I’m feeling a bit more perked up after showering and laying down for a couple hours.

I need to make some time for art. I haven’t done much art at all lately. So I’ll probably set aside some time to sketch when I get home tonight.

I think I might start with that 5 min sketchbook workbook

@Blue_Bird I hope you enjoy the movie!

@Moose72 You're kids are just killing it in school!

(((HUGS))) to all having a difficult time right now.

I'm having a decent day. I slept right around 8 hr. and took a long walk. Came in and showered, made H's lunch. I read with the SAD lamp and drew a couple of pictures, one a cat, the other a gundi, which is a small, stocky rodent found in African deserts. I need to get lunch made, probably will then read some.

I hope everyone has a great day!

I got blood work done today. It was fasting but I didn't have much of an issue. As I was pulling into my street results started coming in. My glucose was 116 and my med level was at 50 normal is 60. So I'm thinking he might raise my Lamictal. I have no clue on anything else. Its all hIgh and low and normal. I'm hoping to hear back from someone.

I wasn't hungry even after fasting. I ate a few crackers but I've started to not be able to stay awake again and I difited off for a bit. I think getting off the prestiq cured my hunger and my spending though. I haven't ordered anything in awhile and I told my mom "I defiently don't want to go to Platos Closet. Ever again."

I fell asleep for another 45 minutes. I need to eat something for real even though I'm falling asleep again. My mom thinks something legit is wrong.

I drew today. A sketch from the 5 minute workbook. It’s been a couple months since I’ve drawn anything.

Started scheduling in time for it everyday in my planner app going forward

I ended up not going to see the movie. I’m just tired and didn’t want to push myself to see go out and see movie on 3 hours of sleep.

I've been struggling some with dissociation this afternoon and anxiety as well even though I took my 50 mg Seroquel. I'm considering making chamomile tea if I can find any in the cupboard. Sometimes it helps with my anxiety at least. I know the dissociation always goes away eventually but it sucks to have been a bit anxious and then to have dissociation come on top of it. Not sure why I'm anxious, it may be hormonal as I just started my period recently.