Bipolar Check-In #93

I need to pick up my stomach meds but the pharmacy is closed! I received a text yesterday that said due to staffing the pharmacy is temporarily closed, they would tell me when it opens. I have two prescriptions waiting. No way to get them. One doesn’t matter but the other I’ll be out of soon. Without my stomach meds I can’t eat. Everything just comes back up! I’m suspicious about the timing. They are closed Sunday and Monday. Taking Thursday, Friday and probably Saturday off makes for a long holiday weekend! I’ve been using this pharmacy for over 20 years. Only recently did their staffing go down. There’s only two pharmacists and the techs have all changed in the last 6 months.

Plant pot I made in craft class today. I made a cat. It’s an actual succulent so I’m gonna have to learn how to take care of it lol



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I had a venus flytrap I named Audrey. She didn't last long. I got sea monkeys at the same time but I caught Crookshanks on the counter lapping them up. So those didn't last much longer

Aww that sucks. I hope my cats don’t bother mine too much but Mustachio is definitely interested! I’ve never owned a plant before. So I’ll have to learn how to take care of it



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Blue bird I love your pot! That’s genius.

I'm kinda having issues.🌶



I've been asking google a bunch of crazy questions all day and I'm not thinking about much else.

I read that doctors are used to it

But I haven't thought of much else

My endoscopy showed a lot of redness and inflammation a few years back. They put me on pantoprazole and I’ve taken it since without much issue stomach-wise (my esophagus is ****ed from purging but I kinda knew that would happen, but I guess like most people who have an eating disorder for 15 years I probably have gastroparesis now too, and that’s a fun dieT to figure out when you’ve been referred to a new GI 4 months ago and needed it to get way worse after being in the hospital 9 days never having an actual meal and then not holding any solids down when you’re discharged and try to get back to eating).
But I had a lot of foods I didn’t know much about this morning in a pre-hike prep breakfast and held everything down so maybe my stomach muscles are working again (or I managed to avoid foods that trigger it without much thinking).

Speaking of hike, here’s my summit selfie (apparently upside down) in the rain on one of the mountains with “the best views of NH” without being a 4k’er. (But still had more elevation gain than some of them).

Nice pics Muddy! That location is beautiful and great to put a face to a name

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Thanks, ha. There are supposed to be a bunch of somewhat bigger mountains if you take away the clouds lol.

The craft class was fun. Everyone had a fun time. I’m so worn out mentally though. I feel on the edge of dissociation and am trying to prevent a whole spiral down that. I feel overwhelmed

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Good morning everyone. I’m so glad it’s Saturday. Had some not so nice student encounters this week so I sure could use the break. Going to take my son for swimming lessons. I’m so tired though. Wind was HOWLING last night. Had weather forecast for damaging winds. No lying about that one. Just want to come home and chill this afternoon. Feeling rather tired this morning despite drinking 2 lattes.

If there’s any activity or skill you know that’s both grounding AND relaxing, that would be the one to use here I think. (Most of my effective ways of grounding involve an adrenaline rush, but sometimes a Somatic Yoga YT video helps. Tbh if they make me hug myself I usually start crying but I think that’s a shock to my “oh I am a person??!!! When did that happen?? Mind)

Let me think, both grounding and relaxing… probably yoga I think, there’s a 15 min stress relief one I like to do on YouTube. I might go ahead and do that. I started going to a balance and strength class 1-2 times a month in my building. So I’d like to do more stuff that builds strength and flexibility.

You’re right that the key is grounding AND relaxing though not one or the other. Cause watching tv is relaxing to me sometimes but it’s definitely far from grounding and usually I end up dissociating and spacing out while watching stuff because it doesn’t involve enough of my senses to ground me

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The is the one I like to do:



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Thanks for sharing @Blue_Bird, did you go through with the video/did it help?

Yeah I did, and I also colored. It helped my anxiety but now (I won’t get into it so I don’t trigger anyone) I’m feeling kind of depressed/distraught about the state of the country and political stuff

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And a lot of self hatred cause I’ve been struggling with binge eating lately

But hey at least I’m not dissociating at the moment

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I was on pantoprazole for years and went off it 2-3 years ago because I was doing well and it's not the best long-term med. I've been back on it since March but it doesn't help much or rather it doesn't help my nausea much. I still have reflux but it must be doing a good job with that as my EGD didn't show inflammation or scarring in my esophagus.

I hope you get into a GI soon. 4 months without an appointment in sight is ridiculous. Glad you kept your food down today!

Hi all! This is my first post since coming back. I was on here about 10 years ago while having a hard time with depression. But I have a fairly new (2 year) bipolar diagnosis. I just had my first really scary episode and I am struggling so bad because of it. I am waiting for a psychiatrist to call for an appointment, but until then, I am off of work. I dont know if I am over medicated or feeling super depressed after a manic episode or just exhausted and stressed, but I feel like I can't even complete daily tasks. I feel so bad because I dont know what are symptoms, signs, or just normal behaviors. I just feel like im sleeping my days away and that is so not like me at all. Thank you for letting me check in!

I have soooooo much damn stuff due before my weekend starts tomorrow night. I don’t mind working Saturdays if I’m
Not swamped but I literally don’t have any time
To catch up. The money is good but I worry ima
Burn out. I’m slowly catching on though and I have a lotta support and amazing coworkers. Please pray I’m
Not working til
8pm
Again tomorow

I decided to start the higher dose of seroquel last night already. There really was no reason to try and stretch my pills out until my next pdoc appointment because I know my pdoc will be willing to send in a prescription before then since the dose was increased. It was only one day, but I did feel a lot better today. I tend to respond pretty quickly to antipsychotics so it is very possible this is a positive affect of the higher dose already. Thank would be great!

With my mood not being as low, my focus was also a lot better so I got a lot done at work. It helped that my students had a lot of independent work so, when I wasn't answering questions, I was able to work on my to-do list. I still needed to bring work home this weekend though. It's a three day weekend so that's not the end of the world.

Despite the better mood, I still have my usual anxiety as the weekend approaches but, hopefully, the increased seroquel will help prevent such a hard crash like I've been having on the weekens.

I wonder how my therapist remembers all 70 of her clients. I don't even think I know 70 people.

She said today "I'll be thinking of you. And I.wanted to say "you say that to everyone."

Plus does anyone catch glilmpshes of their therapists other clients and exchange curiois looks?

@Mountaindewed when I was working as an OT I had to know all the patients that we were treating at multiple nursing homes. I was pretty good at it but I once had 2 nursing homes that each had a "Joe Smith" with Parkinson's disease as the main diagnosis at the same time. With that one I had to have my assistants give me more information because it was just too confusing. I also remember a surprising number of the thousands of patients I treated. Not every detail but they did make impressions on me.

I'm always amazed how much my therapist remembers about things we talked about 19 years ago. I'm sure they've come up again but sometimes he remembers small things I'm sure we never spent more than a little time on.

Welcome s Johnson