I'm bipolar and can't keep a job

I am 36 and bipolar. I was diagnosed back in 2005. I have NEVER been able to keep a job. I would be lucky if I could maintain a job for 9 months. My husband doesn't understand and blames me for all of our financial difficulties. I so depressed about our money issues that I tried to kill myself earlier this year. I have applied for social security disability three times and have been denied all three times. I am depressed, sad and tired of being blamed by my husband. I've been on the INTERNET to see if their were other bipolar's like myself who have had trouble keeping a job, because I was curious to see if this was a characteristic of being bipolar. Does anyone on here have the same issue as I do? I just don't understand why I can't keep a job.

Hi Tait,
I've had a hard time with this too, and I don't think I could keep a job out in the real world. My solution is working from home as a writer. You might want to think about looking at ways that you could define a job that you could do on your own time, when it's good for you. Having a work from home job is the way I manage it, though there are a lot of scams out there, so be careful when you look. Still I don't think hubby should be giving you such a hard time-- sadly, they just don't get it sometimes, do they?

Any chance you could use an attorney to try to get disability in the interim? I know it's pricey. I managed to get it for the first few years because my treatment wasn't doing any good. I know a lot of people get automatically denied, which is awful.

Sending you warm hugs, and remember that there's lots of support here.

Kittykins9

I am in the process of getting a lawyer or some type of representative for help with my appeal of the denial of my ssi. I have looked into stay at home jobs as well but like you said alot of them are either scams or need start up money. You're right, husbands just don't understand.

oh wow.. i hear ya.

I suppose i've been lucky because mostly i've started courses and had jobs in between so it hasn't been too noticeable when i quit or get asked nicely to leave.... at the moment i'm in the middle of teacher training though and i'm having a major wobble and obviously quite worried about messing it up!

The last full time job I had they asked me to leave and told me I needed professional help. I was like, yeah, i told you that when you hired me! pfft.

so i guess i don't know what the answer is. Except that in the UK i know its illegal to fire someone because of a mental health condition. so, i don't know if its the same over there?

take care xoxoxo

allsup...google it...they will coordinate your petition for ssd. the catch is until you are accepted, your monies are accruing in a hold pattern for when you are given disability. allsup's payment is that money. i got accepted in record time so they didn't get much.
the key is to have your pdoc and T's full support to document to ss tht you qualify. if they do their job you will "be in like flinn."..whoever he is.lol.
an atorney is another option.
but if your pdoc is not thorough with your papaerwork or thinks you don't need ssd, ask him by the way, then a job is a good idea. the suggestion kitty gave you is a good one. you can take an online ocourse for say, medical transcribing...once you have that credential doctors would jump at you even with working at home. just realize any job has deadlines and if this creates too much stress, the merry-go- round begins again looking for a job. only you and your pdoc and T know if your situation is tenuous enough for u to qualify for ssd.
i wish you the best....it was suggested by my pdoc and T (SSD)7 years before i applied. after getting stabilized i had 7 more successful years with my career. but the key words for me were stabilization, therapy and compliance with meds.
keep us posted. we bpd ppl do understand how u are feeling. you didn't say why you were let go at the jobs you had. you can request that info if they did not supply you with it.

I have been fired sixty-one times. All different reasons, they usually state and I quote, "There is just something different about you. We are therefore going to let you go."

I wish I could say I have solved the problem, and I have in some ways. I have applied to get my master's in education, because I have, to the average person's standards, done well with substitute teaching.

I have mourned the losses of all my jobs right here at PC, they have hugged me while I cried. I hold my head up still. They encourage me not to blame society too much in all this, but I cannot help it, I will say it right here, I blame society. When I am told in the jobs that keep me for 3 years what a strong work ethic I have, a strong communicator, I work and relate well to everyone, I guess society, well, society breaks my heart

i have trouble holding down a job. have been fired 2 times. i was demoted once. the other times i quit; either because i went into the (mental) hospital or i just felt i couldn't "take it" any longer.

I haven't had a job that would actually pay for much, only part times. I've worked in daycare that went pretty well until I moved. I am a substitute teacher, licensed, I don't feel confident that I can handle a full year, full time with my own class. So with subbing, I can go if they call me and if its a bad day, I don't have to go. No worries about sick days and all that.
Possibly tutoring in your home?

No, husbands for sure don't understand. No one who hasn't walked in our shoes understands. Right now, I think you aren't feeling very good and that's going to make it that much harder. I agree with stabilization being key. Definitely keep up with the soc.sec. stuff, you've paid into it, if you can't work then you need this income. Meds, therapy, support...all important ingredients. (by support I mean that of family/peers, etc) I go to a support group for bp'ers once a week, its been great.

all my best,
Amy

I had a job for over 34 years and now they are starting a procedure to fire me for unclear reason(s).

"I don't communicate well" as if their communication skills are perfect.
I'm able to communicate with all kinds of people. If they don't understand me it's the proof that there is something wrong in their brains, not in mine.

When I have everything documented I consult a lawyer to get the most out of this.

Go, Pationl, go!! I would love to hear if you advance legally through all this. I feel I can identify with your fight, even if it is on another continent with other laws. This is a universal fight, you, I feel, are fighting for all of us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have tried Allsup for two years now. I even went to my court hearing with an Allsup representative. I was still denied. I'm am going to now try something else.

Thank you for your response. I have been let go from temp agencies but most of my jobs I have just quit because I could not take the pressure. One of my manager's knew that I was committed into the psych ward and then found some excuse to let me go after that, and gave me a bad recommendation. I would have anxieties just knowing that I was going to have to go to work. I'm just praying that this third time around having applied for SSI, and having been denied twice already, will be more hopeful.

One time I went into the hospital but continued my job for a few days--they let me out on day passes to go to work. It was getting to be too much, so I quit. I was too afraid or ashamed to tell my boss the reason I was quitting or that I was in the hospital and so just said I needed to quit for personal reasons.
She kept saying that if I didn't tell her what specifically those reasons were, she would give me a bad recommendation if another employer ever called her to ask about my job performance, even though she said, I had done a good job as an employee.
I just turned around and walked out of her office and never put that job on a resume. It was difficult finding another job after that, as it was one of my first jobs and I had such a patchy work history as it was.

I too can't hold a job partly because of my bipolar issues.

I was lucky to get my disability on my first try. I agree with those that have said to get an attorney to help you with your appeal.

Temp work could also be an option.

Jan

I know how it is, the longest time I've held a job is about 2 years and the shortest is one day. I've had 20+ jobs in the last 30 years. Most of the time, I quit before they could fire me. My ability to "catch on" at a job has deteriorated in the last 8 years and after getting fired from my last job because of that reason has made me wary of getting another. It makes me feel quite stupid even though I have a college degree. I've even gotten fired from crappy jobs! My miles long resume has made many employers wary of me. I find it very hard to explain that. I have never been able to handle pressure and expectations of the job very well and it has gotten even worse over the years. I have never and won't ever tell any employer about the bipolar and ADD and would never ask for special accommodations. My brain is foggy most of the time, have short term memory problems and I'm very slow to respond to questions and requests. What employer would put up with that? And yes I am on meds. It's just so very frustrating....
Sorry for the long post.

i usually start out well and my bosses almost always like me.
it is the co-workers i have problems with.
i either get really shy and distant or i get really obnoxious
when i am manic, i work so hard & produce so much
when i am depressed my output and quality of work diminshes and i usually just quit at that point
i compare myself to my co-workers in my head and it makes me hurt inside so much, i want to hurt myself
the last job i had was perfect. i mostly worked at home. it was part-time. when i did go into the job place, i had minimal contact with co-workers. my boss loved & appreciated my work and told me so a lot.
but as soon as the department expanded and others were hired, it became "too much" for me and i quit
i hung on for a year, but in the end i quit

I'm borderline with an anxiety disorder... I have never been able to keep a job for more then a year. I always feel like everyone hates me and when it hits the one year mark I can't do it anymore... I would get so uncomfortable or bored (I hate routine) with work that I would actually come up with lies like "I"m getting my tonsils removed" so I could take weeks off from work. That still wasn't enough sometimes so I would either quit and I sabotage myself in some way so I would get fired.
I started working from home where I am basically my own boss... I was having issues and didn't work for the past 5 days... but you know what? It didn't matter because I don't have a boss telling me what to do. I love that I am now able to to do this... although I still don't like my job very much... I can take a break from it without worrying about getting fired if I feel the need to do so.
Why is it exactly that you can't keep a job? What kinds of things do you do that keep getting you fired?

Don't feel alone. I've never been able to keep a job either. The only time I kept a job for a significant amount of time was at a grocery store when I was in high school. I did, though, manage to get through my bachelor's degree and graduated with honors. Of course, this is useless if you are unable to function properly around "normal" people. I've only been asked to leave one job and it was heartbreaking for me. My supervisor understood, but it was a big corporation and I didn't fit in the round peg hole that they had for each of us. Anyhow, right now I am not working and for the time being I have quit torturing myself by trying. (Not that I've given up, I just can't handle it right now.) Luckily, my husband is understanding. He doesn't really understand mental illness, but he loves the hell out of me and just copes with whatever I throw at him. (No, he's not for sale!) But we could use more money, but who couldn't use more money? We deal with it without the extra income and its hard, but its way easier emotionally on me than being at a job where I feel soooo, you know, weird or whatever I am. I have my social security app all filled out online, but I am terrified to submit it. My pdoc is in full support and I have 4 years of monthly documentation of a very hard to treat bipolar (among other things). But one of my outright terrors is authority figures, so the whole concept of having to meet with the ss people is in itself horrifying for me. Anyhow, I am sorry I made this all about myself. I guess I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I think its hard for a lot of bp people to maintain a "normal" type job.

Oh my god! I have a problem with authority figures too! I get very anxious around them. As a matter of fact, when I went in for my SSI hearing, the judge intimidated me so much that I couldnt even speak. I couldn't even get a word out. I believe that partly because of this I wasn't approved for it. An Allsup rep was there with me but she barely spoke herself and did not defend my disability well enough.

I am like you. I would always be comparing myself to others that I worked with. I would get depressed because even the fresh out of college kids were not only making more money than me, but doing a far better job at retaining what we were trained to do. I felt so inferior! I've had maybe two really good jobs that paid really well. One of them I got let go from, which was really devastating for me. The other I got laid off from. My husband HAS NOT been very supporting at all. I feel so to blame for the way that I am. We even lost our first house back in 2003 because I couldn't hold a job. I know and feel my husband resents me for it. We have a 9 year old that I am ashamed that I am setting a bad example for. I tried to kill myself earlier this year because of all the guilt and shame. Nothing has changed though. Again, we face losing yet another house. Yet again, being diagnosed with bipolar, I feel I am to blame. If only Social Security hadn't turned me down for a third time we would at least have some more income coming in!! Sorry for being such a whiny baby.

I can relate to every story that I read in these threads! So I'm not crazy and alone (sorry to use that word) after all. I can relate to you because I too can not stand monotonous and routine (boring) job environments as well. I would make any excuse in the book to quit or be fired too. I'm so excited that I'm not the only one who does this! I would complain and make up lies so I didn't have to work an entire shift. When I was pregnant 9 years ago, I would use the excuse that my back hurt, so I could leave early or quit. It wasn't till 2005 that I was diagnosed with Bipolar, Borderline personality disorder and ADD! My husband is so fed up and stressed out, because we really need the extra income. And although I know this, I still can't bring myself to hold a job. May I ask what kind of stay at home job you do? Maybe I can do something like what you do to help bring in some extra income. Please share...

It's very frustrating! I couldn't even keep a job at Subway or an easy job such as being a checker at a grocery store.

I don't think you are a whiny baby at all. That sucks. I really wish your husband would support you. Do you think he would go to therapy with you?

Also, DON'T feel ashamed with your kid. I have a 7 year old and he's the only person in the world who thinks I'm perfect. I bet yours does too. He doesn't care if you don't have a job. I promise he doesn't. As long as you love him and do your best to care for him (especially emotionally), I am certain his image of you is glowing. Kids are FAR more accepting of our flaws than we are and definitely more than other adults. Please don't feel ashamed.

As far as the not talking to the judge thing, I would be the same way OR sometimes I do the exact opposite. I'm terrified, but I know I look insane, so I just start talking and talking and talking and I cannot stop myself. Its a horrible experience. I'll feel my heart race and my chest starts constricting, I can hardly breathe. But I will talk and talk. Arg.

Yeah for a while I thought I was crazy too because I'd come into work and I'd complain and complain and complain about how much I hated these me menial min wage jobs... I just couldn't do it!! And everyone was like "oh it's not so bad" I've always felt like I've hated work waay more then any of my coworkers... If I knew I was scheduled in three days to work... I'd get depressed and get anxiety and I couldn't even enjoy my days off because I knew I had to go back!
I do very well with my stay at home job, I'm so lucky to have found it, although I don't think it's for everyone... lots of people are judgmental but it has really turned my life around... at 23... I am driving a VERY nice car, managed to move into a huge 3 bed/2.5 bed condo because of the drastic increase in income... basically I'm a webcam model... I strip on the internet (I'm not going to sugarcoat it lol)... I never saw myself doing anything like this but you know what... I'm sooo much happier because I make my own schedule, the money is awesome and I don't have to deal with annoying coworkers!! I don't have to deal with anyone... I don't even see the guys or anything like that. It's also allowed to me be able to save up money for when I graduate college... I'm hoping to have enough money saved so I can open my own business. Because I do hate authority and I can't work for someone. I need to be my own boss. Doing what I'm doing now is just a means to an end for me. One day, I will have a more respectful job, but for now it works and it works really well!

I have a daugther that was diagnosed years ago.
This is a very cruel condition.
Try your best and get counseling for you and your family, it will make family life more understanding.
I will pray for you.
With this condition it is very hard to keep a jopb due to the ups and downs you go through on a daily basis.
You might want to consult your dr. about medications that may help you.

I heart poors out to all people with this condition.
If you need me call on me.

I have this problem as well 4 jobs in the last 4 years, but I am on disibility pension as well so that helps to ease the financial burden. I only work part time as I believe a full time job would see me in hospital. I think it is due to my bi-polar as well. I work with disabled people and take them on weekly outings so the work is a lot less stressful then the other jobs that I have had.
I suppose it depends on what work you can handle and whats in it for you when you are happy in a job you tend to stay longer.