[pastoral-poeta]

Trying to do my homework, but I can't find the words and I have no interest and I know I will freak out when deadlines come up. I feel like sleeping but I don't know if I could if I laid down. I don't know what to do. I hate the weekends these days...

Don't feel safe tonight at all, I am alone hate being alone.

Weekends sound like they're hard for a lot of us.

Originally Posted by misskeena

Weekends sound like they're hard for a lot of us.

What makes weekends hard is that, Monday through Friday, life is structured. There are certain things you're expected to do and you must act a certain way in those things. The time you can think and dwell is limited. I had problems with my weekends, but I don't really have a weekend anymore. I never know when I'm going to be off.....so now it's nights. I feel for you my friends. The night before a weekend day, try making a schedule of events for the next day and don't dwell on the fact you're alone. Do some projects you've been meaning to do or just go to the mall or Walmart and stare and laugh at the people. The more you can organize your weekend, the less painful it will be. I know I'm not one to talk or give advice....I often feel it too....but I've noticed these things help and I hope some of you guys will try it. Hang in there!

Originally Posted by Maranara

What makes weekends hard is that, Monday through Friday, life is structured. There are certain things you're expected to do and you must act a certain way in those things. The time you can think and dwell is limited. I had problems with my weekends, but I don't really have a weekend anymore. I never know when I'm going to be off.....so now it's nights. I feel for you my friends. The night before a weekend day, try making a schedule of events for the next day and don't dwell on the fact you're alone. Do some projects you've been meaning to do or just go to the mall or Walmart and stare and laugh at the people. The more you can organize your weekend, the less painful it will be. I know I'm not one to talk or give advice....I often feel it too....but I've noticed these things help and I hope some of you guys will try it. Hang in there!

Sometimes organizing is difficult. I feel paralyzed by how alone I feel so I just turn the TV on for noise and sit on the internet or try to read a book. Yeah...paralyzed is a great word for it. I have all of these intentions but I simply feel like I can't do them. The effort is too much.

Had a few decent days; not perfect but I felt in control most of the time. Well, husband kept saying things to me that I deemed as degrading though whether they genuinely were or not who knows, eventually snapped when he said "don't worry, I'll be leaving for work soon and you won't have to deal with me anymore", and now I've got the guilt, self-hatred, and depression to deal with. No more to say.....

Here.

-Fleeing

[youwillrise]

pushing through my body's weirdness today. i feel tired ad my body just isnt on point...it's causing me some slight anxiety.

was making some granola clusters earlier that i wanted to eat with some almond milk...i ended up burning the first batch and i got really angry. i had to settle myself and catch my breath. ha.

im okay, though. hanging in.

[FP50wa]

My wife and I getting ready to have our taxes done

Went to work for a little while this morning to learn how to draw blood and now I'm getting ready to go to a meetup with my sci-fi book group. Thing is that all I want to do is stay home and sleep. If I don't have plans, I feel lonely, empty, restless, and bored. If I have plans (unless they're with a select few specific people) all I want to do is stay home. It's damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Feeling a little better today

husband didn't have to go to work today so he was home all day...kind of messed my day up a little...

day started off okay, but getting worse.

My work is really, really slow right now and I've had a chunk of hours cut.

Advantage: I've had lots of time to work on other projects and I've actually been half-way successful when it comes to doing so.

Disadvantage: We're totally screwed when it comes to paying the bills at the beginning of the month.

today is better.

days like today i feel like i don't have anything wrong and i'm just looking for someone to listen to my sob story on my bad days. in denial maybe? but then i'm in denial that i'm in denial...or am i? so complicated and confusing...

bought a new video game last night. minecraft, huzzah. i feel like such a failure.

It's all just running together. ongoing - up and down, great moods for a short while then back to being blah at best. day in, day out...

Doing well so far. Going to get my haircut, then taking my friend out to dinner for her birthday to a place we've both loved forever. It's snowing and icky outside (gotta love this Michigan lake effect weather) but that's okay.

[BlueWhisky]

Got sacked from my job a few weeks ago so I've started a college course in art and graphic design. Lots of people think I'm crazy but I'm the happiest I've been for ages. Just the creative therapy I needed.

[BlueWhisky]

Sometimes people like us just aren't made for offices. I'm hoping I can make a freelance career for myself with this and my writing experience

Originally Posted by BlueWhisky

Sometimes people like us just aren't made for offices. I'm hoping I can make a freelance career for myself with this and my writing experience

If you'd like some suggestions on how to get from freelance writing gigs, PM me and good luck with it.

[IowaFarmGal]

It actually was a good day today. I ended up with a low score then we figured our intensity for the week, but I don't think that's right. As I recall it wasn't an easy week. I had an impulse to strangle my cat for one thing, and work was really weird yesterday. I must have figured something wrong or my memory was not working at the time.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I had a date with a friend of the family pending for a month now and I actually followed thru.

I was convinced to a man that only my uncle had told her to see me.

Maybe that's true, maybe that isn't. I don't know.

But I went.

And had a good time.

Baby steps.

I guess the worst thing about this bpd is what goes thru my mind. Regardless of things being okay or not. I was programmed to believe that no one liked me. I am working on that.

Carol

Tired, no sleep last night.

Originally Posted by Buttercup..

Tired, no sleep last night.

Yay!! Me either! We need to start a club, "Nonsleepers anonymous".
Anyone else want to join?

[BlueWhisky]

Yes! My sleeping patterns are insane at the moment! X

Feeling better, the best I've felt in a few days at least. I hope it lasts just a little while.