[greentires4me]

I feel better today then I did yesterday, I was suppose to go over to my mom's house but my friend cancelled at the last end so I cancelled with her until tomorrow.

I feel sad, overwhelmed, despair, and joyful

[redbandit]

I was sick this morning, so didnt go to a friends bday party. My husband went outta town and now im all depressed

[BorderlineMess]

God I wish I could really cuss here, but oh well.

I *know* I'm an immature child right now, but I really want some attention. F*k me. I want my family to call or text me back. But I don't want to say "I'm in a really bad place." I mean, which I am, but I don't want to sound the alarm. So I'm venting it here. F*k the stupid B*s*t that my family likes to go through. God d*m it. I just want to talk plainly and openly to SOMEONE, ANYONE in my family. Is that so much to ask?

[LostAngel0616]

Today has been alright. Pretty much decided that I'll be moving in august. New town. This world is far too small and I can't handle it anymore. Too many dark ghosts of the past. I can never truly get over anything here. I just want to leave everything. And lately it's like, I have a plan for the future, but I really have no true desire for it. I'm just making it day to day because I have to. I'm starting to not want to leave the house to do anything or see anyone. Things are getting worse and I can't get any meds until next month...

Very sad right now. I think I lost my good guy friend again. We spend most of the day together and we fought over some really stupid things. The last thing we fought over was the fact that he never wants to hug me. Like, ever (see? stupid s---). And it blew up into a big mess that ended with him walking out of a bar with me following him out into the street and him saying our friendship was over...which means it pretty much is because he doesn't just say things. I'm devastated. We reconciled a month and a half ago only to have this happen. I'm just...I just don't know what to do.

Manic. that's all I can say. feels good but I gotta be careful o.O

Originally Posted by BorderlineMess

God I wish I could really cuss here, but oh well.

I *know* I'm an immature child right now, but I really want some attention. F*k me. I want my family to call or text me back. But I don't want to say "I'm in a really bad place." I mean, which I am, but I don't want to sound the alarm. So I'm venting it here. F*k the stupid B*s*t that my family likes to go through. God d*m it. I just want to talk plainly and openly to SOMEONE, ANYONE in my family. Is that so much to ask?

IT is too much to ask. in their view. Fact is family is the last group of people I would go to, but that's just me.

I'm embarrassed by my behavior which caused my to lose my friend last night. I wish I could just be a normal person with normal emotions. I'm so sick of this. I'm sick of living a life which really isn't a life but merely an existence--I simply exist to hold down a job and pay bills. I feel like there are very few, if any, things which make me happy and drive me anymore. I have two little cats who make me happy but that's about it.

[LostAngel0616]

My wonderful friend texted me at 9:30 last night and asked me if I wanted to go to the club with her because she was going short notice and didn't know if she could find anybody to go. At first I told her no, but if she couldn't find anybody I would reconsider. Well, she ended up not being able to find some one, so I did go with her. Had so much fun. The club we go to has an outdoor patio that has a dj out there, and we were dancing like crazy people, then it started raining and made it ten times better. I also ran into another friend of mine that I haven't seen in a few. I'm so glad I went; it pulled me out of my slump of depression I've been in... At least for a couple of days. =)

Feeling overwhelmingly anxious. Finally gave in and took a Klonopin which only succeeded in making me really tired; it didn't do much to ease the anxiety. I just saw my pdoc today and she didn't say much about the anxiety at all. She prescribed Vistaril at my suggestion simply because I know she won't give me anymore Klonopin and I need something, but I know Vistaril doesn't really work for me. I don't know what to do... I need something to work. I feel like I'm at my wit's end.

[kala83]

so still dealing with the fact that I fall for people a lil too easily at times....
but actually the guy and girl in my life are both very excepting of that this is just how I am as a person in general.

I think its mostly due to me making more of the effort to change within my DBT classes.
I like myself just fine but I can still change myself for better too and I am ok with that.

[fatefultragedy]

Just went on a rant and completely went from loving to get away from me just stay at work leave to my partner....why?... Because she was in the bathroom i felt to long and was avoiding me....i went from upset to anger to thinking ill just pack my stuff and leave to wanting to break the tv....god im losing it i swear....

[NICK 0305]

Originally Posted by beautifulfreak

Well, it's just past 2pm here now. Still feeling pretty much the same with the thoughts and urges. Trying my utmost to not succumb to the urges today. It's difficult, however, I am trying.

Got 3hrs sleep this morning, so that is something at least.

Partner at work so I have yet to see him since the massive argument yesterday evening. So, will see how that pans out.

Hi im new here and have BPD, i have come here to get support off others and to make new friends. Please do not feel you are a freak as your name states, you are someone who has a problem and you will get better the same as i will. Nick x

Doing alright still.

[LostAngel0616]

Still having a really hard time motivating myself. I know that the fact that I look like crap is contributing to my feeling like crap, but I can't seem to get myself to do anything about it. Just found out the the financial aid refund I've been waiting for so I can get my books wont be available until thursday, which messes with plans that I'm already having a hard time convincing myself to keep. Things are quickly begining to go down hill, again...

[UnderTheRose]

calmer today but still yelling at the family at the drop of a hat. (like seriously, 'don't you DARE drop your hat or anything else on this floor! I just washed it, doesnt anyone care about ANYTHING i do? I should just move the hell out and THEN see if anyone cares about what i do around here'... etc etc)
But calmer. still wondering if my over reacting is a part of BPD or if my BPD is a mixed state of low end bipolar, and wondering why i care WHAT it is, and wishing i dindt think about it at all. Wishing also that if i AM actually bipolar that my elevated states would be of joy and not anger.

[greentires4me]

I feel rather disappointed in my PDoc she didn't go for any of my suggestions to therapy she said right now I should focus on DBT even though I don't believe its working she said too many hands in the fire tends to make things worse...

[Aphrodites_Muse]

I feel so numb. Overwhelmed numb. This string of days has led to weeks, and is now crossing the marker in months. Pdoc appt in about three more weeks. DBT tomorrow, it helps some, probably the only thing keeping me on this side of the deep in. SI has been minimal - impressive at this time, but the thoughts are at times unbearable. I don't know which way is up or forward or what the he// ever. Even the good days are bad now....I hate when I f up my life.

Havng fun trolling the ps4 vs xbone forums.

[poptart316]

I'm okay, I've been depressed a lot lately, the only time I'm not depressed is when I'm with my bf. I'm taking a vocational test today so maybe I'll figure out what I should do school/career wise.

[LostAngel0616]

So I had the opportunity to go practice with my old team today and I blew it off. This is like an all time low for me. Usually I would jump at the chance. It was something I truly enjoyed. I just could not get myself to shower and such to prepare for it. I had a feeling that this would happen, because the depression has been crawling up so quickly. I have another chance tomorrow. I just really hope I can get there...

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Havng fun trolling the ps4 vs xbone forums.

You're trolling?

I am tired

Originally Posted by Buttercup..

You're trolling?

I am tired

Yeah I am actually. Two guys, both with apparently advanced degrees started having a debate and it clearly became an "I'm smarter than you" battle.. I posted the following:

"Thanks both of you. Amazingly humorous post thread. I love watching the "college educated" throw ***** at each other trying to one up the other with their smarts. "

[rabbit13]

Having side effects regarding Lithium and my Uribe bladder.

[rabbit13]

urine,this iPad isn't for english