Stigma/Mini-Rant.

Hey guys, I haven't posted on here for quite a while. A lot has gone on but what I specifically want to talk about is the second psychiatry appointment I had... it took me 4 months, just to receive one. In that time I attempted twice.

My therapist, who is AMAZING, came with me... And when we went into the office, I realized it was the same silly cow that I had last time. The thing is, last time she told me "You don't need anti-depressants so you're not depressed, you can go to X or do nothing" 2 days later I OD'd.. That was in September?

So you can imagine my dismay, but oh no. She interrupted me, and wasn't even listening to what I could barely explain because of anxiety. She didn't even notice for the whole session I was sitting nipping my arm hard just to deal with the stress. She didn't officially diagnose me, but I've been told by.. 3/4 mental health professions that it's borderline... Keep in mind no OFFICIAL diagnosis... She turns around and says to me, "Oh well, you are much further along than others with BPD, you have actually accepted your diagnosis. You just need to make a drastic change and stop being silly, your an intelligent girl."

When we tried to explain that I have two minds, almost two different personality's in my head, both which are me.. Kind of like a complete split from a young age she said, "You need to stop blaming things on the other you." WHICH ISN'T WHAT I DO! I take full responsibility for ALL my actions.

She didn't bother listening to any of it, said I was bright and pretty much that I should know better, that she won't refer me to impatient. It felt like she had no time or patience for me, she also seemed rather peed off that I had had previous attempts. WELL I'M SORRY I FELT THAT WAY.

When we left, my therapist even seemed disheartened... I get bad dissociation and my minds so complex, and stuff that it's hard to keep up with. She said that the psychiatrist had a very, "I'm the doctor, so I'm right attitude." She just seemed extremely uncaring and made it seem like because I knew what I had an "accepted it" that I didn't need the help. My therapist also said, "Yeah well, she isn't the one who has to live with it." As in, daily struggle of BPD.

I was just wondering if any of you's ever experienced similar stigma from mental health professionals? I just feel like that if I went in there with symptoms of bipolar they would have treated me. x.x; Or am I just being completely stupid?

So angry.. Thanks in advance...

I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience. Is there any way you can try to see a different psych? I mean, she just was NOT at all helpful... she's treating you with all the negative (and inaccurate) stereotypes of BPD in the forefront... intelligence and beauty has nothing to do with internal suffering... That lady has no business being a psychiatrist. I have experienced some of that, but not to that degree. Mostly it was a psychiatrist while I was inpatient... He was a complete turd and very unhelpful.
I did not read your previous posts, so don't really know the specifics, but I would seek other help if I were you... Even if there is another pdoc in the practice, they may be better than this lady. :/ Are you restricted in who you see? can you request someone else? can you go to another agency?

I live in the UK so it's through the NHS, last time I was in hospital for attempting, I asked the psychologist on duty to get me a different psychiatrist but it didn't work out. I think me and my therapist are going to try and get referred again, and ask for a different psychiatrist because if I get this woman again, I will end up shouting at her before walking out... :/ It's just really frustrating.. Especially because things have been getting worse again.

The worst thing she said was about me blaming things on the different mindsets, because the problem it causes is I KNOWWW that something is wrong, or I shouldnt do it but because it is completely split of, I can't change it.... Thanks for replying to me, I appreciate it.

What a complete and utter cow, How on earth is this woman allowed to be a shrink? I would put in a complaint and ask to see another one just refuse to see this one, My first ever Pdoc was the same would not listen, Now I have a great Pdoc, I think some of them just refuse to acknowledge any of us with BPD, I think it is great that you have a supportive therapist

This makes me think of the Sonata Arctica song, Two Minds One Soul.

"I won't change
Won't listen to these empty words again
Past is shadows
Covered cold
Such indecision, you have two minds
In one soul."

Anyway, on to what's relevant: That psychiatrist is an ignoramus. She needs to stop practicing and find a job she's qualified for.
That is all.

Yeah, she doesn't seem very helpful at all, it's almost like she doesn't even know how to help you in a professional matter. I bet it was really frustrating, can you get a new pdoc? I once had a therapist and I told her that I was depressed and didn't like anyone and didn't have any motivation to do anything and she responded with "well that sucks" and just stared at me.. she also told me about how she dated her professor who was a married a man and how he was supposed to leave his wife to be with her and how she was broken with it.. I guess she was trying to relate to my own crappy relationship experience but I thought that she totally crossed a line with that, like that was not at all professional. She eventually left to go be a stay at home mom.. I don't think being a therapist was her calling.

Thanks guys, it's nice to know that I'm not being ridiculous! I'm going to try and get through to psychiatry again but because it's on the NHS, it may take a while. It's funny because my best friend asked her CPN about this said pdoc and her nurse just gave this look of "oh god, not her." x] I can half deal with the way she handled me but it pisses me off that she's teaching other training psychiatrists with this attitude or other patients that really need the help. Grrrrrrrrrr.

She's teaching people?

This infuriates me.

Wow, I wonder what she thinks of people with BPD. I find it ironic that she says most BPDers haven't accepted their diagnosis and that to do so is a mark of progress. One major reason why BPDers ( I have BPD, btw) wouldn't want to accept their diagnosis is because it is so shaming, and BPDers seem to carry a ton of shame. She should be fired for being so ignorant.

Apparently she doesn't read the literature that purports that many BPDers grew up in an invalidating environment where their emotions weren't welcome. She completely invalidated your experience here, or tried to, thank God you don't have to rely on her.

What brilliance (puke). She has no clue what it is like to live daily with this, as your therapist said. I would file a complaint about how she treated you last time and this time. Not that it will do any good, but if you can, I would.

I am sorry this happened to you!

Thanks, I'm sorry too.. Last 3 sessions I've had with my T we've brought it up because it's aggravated us both so much. I was right, my T was totally disheartened too because the silly cow shot her down as well! She really didn't have a clue what she talking about because she wouldn't let me explain.

As me and my therapist talked about today... Intelligence can actually damn you more than actually help... That's the thing with this two layered/two completely different personalities. I may KNOW what's going on, but I can't change it because the two parts of me don't communicate. They are at war with each other.

Gnahhhhhhhhh, I just hope this woman get's a reality check one day...

Yep! First time I saw her back in September, it was the last 5 mins. She was the boss of the trainee consultant that saw me. *shakes head*

That's when she said "You have traits of BPD." Literally, just before I left... Isn't it a serious mental illness? Shouldn't I had been offered PROFESSIONAL support? GRRR x]

That woman needs a psychiatrist of her own, rather than being one, it seems to me.

Thought I would update you guys.

My therapist had another client she took to see this stupid bee, and she also got discharged. That is when she spoke to another psychiatrist who told her that the stupid bee has already been warned over discharging patients.

Literally, she's discharging patients for no reason, she's just being really stupid.. I don't understand it.. Especially since the last girl had suspected Bipolar..... *shakes head*

Just thought yous would be interested x3

I'll add my $0.02 to everyone else's and say I'm happy she's been warned but that doesn't seem enough to me. I think at minimum they should require her to be supervised herself (instead of supervising) whenever she sees a patient; at maximum she should go find another career that she might actually be good at.

Being BPD is hard enough without having to go through nonsense like this on top of it!!

Ugh, that reminds me of my own experiences.
I've studied pedagogy where acknowledgment and understanding people is the key. Your psychiatrist is missing the most valuable 'method' in the very field she's working in and that's acknowledgment. When she says you're an intelligent girl, she's not complimenting you. She's trying to correct you saying you need to stop being silly, because you are 'able'.
I think it is the worst when you depend on getting help from someone who is condescending and just want you to be fixed and therefore will offer no help whatsoever. Someone without neither empathy or sympathy shouldn't be in that field, and I am serious, there's way too many of that sort in the business. I once went to a psychologist who disregarded everything I said and instead just concluded that because, despite depression and borderline, I didn't help out my parents in the store - I didn't work there?? - I sounded like a lazy brat. She said that people may think that of me, hint hint.
I really want to get help but geez, people like these really make you feel as if you're incurable. But it isn't you, it's them. It's definitely them. She can't even grasp the essence of your diagnosis!

Thanks very much

Yeah shes a really stupid moo, it still aggravates me to this day. After the first time of seeing her, 2 days later I attempted.. And only THEN got my therapist, who went with me the second time. Imagine I hadn't had my therapist? It scares me to think how many people have ended there lives over such crucial errors. Because in reality, the mental health field is a mine field of life and death... *Sigh*

Very true. If you mistreat your patients and they are a ticking time bomb ready to explode if you cut the wrong wire, you can cause someone else some serious injury if you do your job wrong. If you seem cold and careless and that you just want people to fix themselves, you may just have cut off the last source of help this person had the energy to attempt to get. That's a really scary thought. I am happy that nothing permanent happened to you and that you are still here

You are soooooooooo right. I'm a BiPolar in search of a pro bono shrink. You think I can find one? OH NO - know why - because I know too much about my own disease. It totally infuriates me to no end. All of a sudden just because I know what being BiPolar means and how it affects me I no longer need help with the daily in and out of living with it? Are you kidding me? (How could I NOT know about this disease? I've had it for 27 years now!)

I recently had an appointment set up by my chronic pain doctor, because I was falling apart, with the head of the neurosurgery department - you know the only thing that twit was interested in? TBI's. Because I didn't have a string of TBI's to document for him he said my case was 'too complicated'. You can bet 'the dark side' came out and I told him off big time. I simply told him exactly what I'm saying here. I think for a moment I saw shame - I sure hope so.

Well there ya go - the guy only wants to do what he wants and doesn't give a rat's red one to help people who actually need help. He'd rather be a specialist - as if he has the right to choose which little slice of brain disorders he's going to work with when he's the HEAD of the damned Department in the whole freaking County?

Seriously, the entire community of doctors who deal with people like us need a huge education. I'd love for a bunch of us to get 'em in an arena and just 'tell 'em how the cow ate the cabbage'. That's a nice way of saying we would get the chance to tell them off - and not nicely. Fat chance of that though.

You are extremely right, it's the same with me and repeating my story to people. I think it ties into the same thing, people get fed up and expect you to "just get over it" by now, but the fact of the matter is it's that lack of connection.

And yeah, I think the sad truth is a lot of mental health proffesionals want us to be dumbstruck about our illnesses so it's almost easier for them to treat. MINDS are complex, these illnesses are complex. LSKDFL:KSDFL:KS.. It's frustrating..

If I were you I'd do my very best to find a different doctor! She doesn't seem to have any compassion and needs to go find a different job!

I'm in the process of being referred to psychiatry right now but the doctor is the luck of the draw but thankfully, my therapist said I can contact psychiatry and request a different pdoc. I think I ever see that woman a gain she'd get a swift punch in the face..