Originally Posted by dancinglady

Ok. I grew up in the Midwest. My experience is it is a getter done attitude. No excuses. Who told u to be a nurse? I work in a hospital for 8 years. I don't think nursing SND BPD mix. Many undiagnosed got fired.

That's not very nice...

[Mindful55]

Hi Misskeesa  hugs

How did things workout today for you?

Please remember, these people are not worth your feelings!! People come in & go in life..you seem young .you have it on your side!!
Idk perhaps another program in your area of study? Yeah BPD..so what. It is a label. Just look and go forward

Take care



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[dancinglady]

Wow I am so sorry. I guess I still do not know how to empathic and sympathic. This was my intention and from your reaction I guess I blew it. I will try harder.

[dancinglady]

I hurt someone's feelings today on this board. I do not know if this is the best place for me. I think I will go to another board and let this alone. I do not know how much is me and how much is others but it seems that when I try is just does not work out. Take care everyone I hope your life works the way you want and you get the dreams you want.

[Espresso]

It's been another bad day. I hate myself.

Originally Posted by Mindful55

Hi Misskeesa  hugs

How did things workout today for you?

Please remember, these people are not worth your feelings!! People come in & go in life..you seem young .you have it on your side!!
Idk perhaps another program in your area of study? Yeah BPD..so what. It is a label. Just look and go forward

Take care



Sent from my SPH-L720T using Tapatalk

You know, today actually turned out okay, thanks for asking. You know you've had a rough one when going to work actually makes you feel more calm and relaxed (and I work in a busy inner city ER! ). But I talked with a couple friends as well as my cousin who is a veteran RN, and went through the same program I am in. I have a tendency to catastrophize and I only saw criticisms, and I took them as a personal affront. What my professor was saying wasn't incorrect, I just wish that some of it had been brought up earlier in the quarter so that I could have worked on improving it (in the case of academic stuff), or at the time it was relevant (in the case of the interpersonal stuff). Bombarding me with it all at the end, I feel, wasn't fair nor does it help me improve as a student. I will probably give it a few days and email this prof and tell her that; I think it may help in the future, plus I owe her an apology.

As my cousin says though, in the end, I passed the class with a great grade so really...chuck it and move on.

Possible trigger:

PS I'm actually not that young. I attempted nursing school 10 years ago and had to drop out of the same program I'm currently in when I was hospitalized and first diagnosed with BPD. So it does sting a little more acutely when someone tells me that I can't do it because of my diagnosis. I know...I've been down that road. Failing out of school, losing my fiancee because I was so unstable, losing a chunk of my friend base, and losing my position in leadership in my church nearly killed me. Literally. But, ten years later, I'm actually doing incredibly well and don't fit diagnostic criteria any longer (though I still have traits). I cannot live my life as a diagnosis; I have to live as a person struggling with mental illness, which means I will do as much as I am capable of. Maybe I will fail. But I can't ever say that it was from a lack of trying to achieve what I know I'm more than capable of.

Originally Posted by dancinglady

I hurt someone's feelings today on this board. I do not know if this is the best place for me. I think I will go to another board and let this alone. I do not know how much is me and how much is others but it seems that when I try is just does not work out. Take care everyone I hope your life works the way you want and you get the dreams you want.

There is no reason to leave the board. The first reply was great. The second, frankly, not so much. I am a blunt person as well and have had to work on that. Maybe try to watch the timing of those kinds of responses...if it is close to when the original poster posted that they weren't feeling so great, perhaps that isn't the best time to be blunt. Sometimes tone can be misinterpreted via text, email, forums, etc--I've learned this and I still have to be told this from time to time, even with my friends. But don't leave the forum; I don't hang out here all the time, and my feelings aren't a Ming vase--they don't shatter irreparably (at least, not these days ).

I want to respond to the "Who told you to be a nurse?" by saying this: I hope that anyone who goes into medicine isn't told to do so. If they are doing it just because someone told them to, they're in the wrong profession. I chose medicine because, after taking a job in a hospital 15 years ago and quickly transferring from orthopedics to the ER, I felt I'd found my niche; I can't imagine doing anything else. I love what I do, I love medicine, I love working with patients and hopefully having a positive impact on them. I love making a difference and doing something that, to me, is essential. And the feedback I get from my patients and management tells me I'm in the right profession. I have obstacles to overcome, but who doesn't? I'd rather have me as a nurse, BPD and all, than someone who didn't give a crap and was only there for a paycheck.

[katluvzpurple]

I'm very clearly my own worst enemy. Every issue between my husband and I, or our friends, is always my fault. I imagine someone doesn't care and promptly alienate them or react, making them feel annoyed at me. If nothing changes, I'll actually become what I've been fearing. It really is a long road out of hell...

[Mindful55]

Originally Posted by misskeena

You know, today actually turned out okay, thanks for asking. You know you've had a rough one when going to work actually makes you feel more calm and relaxed (and I work in a busy inner city ER! ). But I talked with a couple friends as well as my cousin who is a veteran RN, and went through the same program I am in. I have a tendency to catastrophize and I only saw criticisms, and I took them as a personal affront. What my professor was saying wasn't incorrect, I just wish that some of it had been brought up earlier in the quarter so that I could have worked on improving it (in the case of academic stuff), or at the time it was relevant (in the case of the interpersonal stuff). Bombarding me with it all at the end, I feel, wasn't fair nor does it help me improve as a student. I will probably give it a few days and email this prof and tell her that; I think it may help in the future, plus I owe her an apology.

As my cousin says though, in the end, I passed the class with a great grade so really...chuck it and move on.

Possible trigger:

PS I'm actually not that young. I attempted nursing school 10 years ago and had to drop out of the same program I'm currently in when I was hospitalized and first diagnosed with BPD. So it does sting a little more acutely when someone tells me that I can't do it because of my diagnosis. I know...I've been down that road. Failing out of school, losing my fiancee because I was so unstable, losing a chunk of my friend base, and losing my position in leadership in my church nearly killed me. Literally. But, ten years later, I'm actually doing incredibly well and don't fit diagnostic criteria any longer (though I still have traits). I cannot live my life as a diagnosis; I have to live as a person struggling with mental illness, which means I will do as much as I am capable of. Maybe I will fail. But I can't ever say that it was from a lack of trying to achieve what I know I'm more than capable of.

Beautifully said take care

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[shezbut]

UGH!!!

Just having a hard time right now. I am alone, and I hate it! I broke up with my bf again ~ for good ~ but I have no one else. No friends. No family.

I usually have my girls every weekend, but that got messed up too, so their Dad came to pick them up this afternoon. Nights are just the hardest to get through. This just stinks. Doggone it!

[LittleEarthquakes]

I'm okay but I'm not. I feel too much or I feel nothing. Feeling misunderstood. Going to sleep now.

[Espresso]

I had a fairly good day, I think. But now I feel fidgety and nervous.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

Why do I still think poorly of myself after I get 6 or 8 comments on FB about people loving me? This is what I wrote...
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?p=4312248

I'm so confused. I think that I'm thinking they are wrong. I'm thinking that they are saying what is expected or the "trend." I don't think that they are outright lying, they're just misinformed about who I really am. I think that they like the person I give the public, not the real defective me. Hmm. Did I just answer my own question?

[BlueWhisky]

In bed drinking, freaked out and didn't turn up for a job at the weekend and now feel a total loser. ARGH! I am so far from functional.

[boydisappearing]

Seeing my pdoc today, and have a rehearsal for a play I wrote tonight, and somewhere in there I need to memorize a Shakespeare scene before tomorrow. I feel a little stressed but also kind of numb. It's been an emotional week.

[Britneigh]

Currently stranded at a Tim Hortons because the truck won't start. I honestly hate my life.

[Espresso]

My husband knows exactly how to hurt me.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

Originally Posted by Espresso

My husband knows exactly how to hurt me.

I can relate to this. It makes me angry and sad.

[Crazy Hitch]

Eh I'm still Manic.

Not many BPD tendencies in here today with me.

[Verity81]

I'm nervous about starting driving lessons tomorrow and also worrying about finances since being made redundant.
I'm trying to find a job I can work around my dbt sessions and also my studies when I start back at uni. Its hard to find that flexibility.
Not everyone is able to work strict office hours Monday to Friday but as most of my experience is office based its hard to break into something else!
I'm currently going to concentrate on my driving course, if I can get my licence I will have more options in the job market. ugh!

[Bubbles&Buttercup]

I haven't been on here much of late. After a year of doing nothing I decided to study, started roughly 4 weeks ago I think.
The last week and a half I've been in a world of physical pain from my shoulder and can hardly use my arm. Turns out I have Bursitis which is fixable but involves not using my arm for a bit and getting a cortisone shot, and completely ruining my good start to study and my plan to not miss any days.
I just feel awful, and then I feel mad that I'm feeling sorry for myself.
My sister and her three kids staying with us at the moment probably isn't helping.
I need a break but I can't do anything or go anywhere.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

I have the best therapist in the world. Here's why...

First, Two weeks ago I told him that I had an appointment for today but it was only for ½ an hour because that was all that was available. It was the last appointment of the day so he said that he would stay 15 minutes longer for me. Then he said that he would come in tomorrow instead, his only day off for months, so I could have a whole hour.

Tonight he called me to tell me that he had to cancel because a patient had some emergency and he needed to deal with that tomorrow... So much for his day off. I was bummed but I understand because he would and has done the same for me. He then asked me if I wanted to talk with him while we were on the phone. I told him that I did but I wasn't in a place where I could. He offered to call me later which he did. Then he gave me probably 20 minutes, free, so that I could ask for help with my anger that I've had lately. It's been bad.

Finally, he offered to come in next week to see me on his new day off.

So, as much as I was looking forward to seeing him, I realize that I got so much more than I could've asked for. By the way, I do feel more relaxed about the things that I am allowing to get to me. We'll see how I feel tomorrow at work. Oh, and one more bonus for me... I have been accumulating a couple extra hours so that I could leave during work tomorrow and then return after the appointment. Now I get to start my weekend at 1:30ish tomorrow. :-)

Originally Posted by Achy Turtle Armor

I have the best therapist in the world. Here's why...

First, Two weeks ago I told him that I had an appointment for today but it was only for ½ an hour because that was all that was available. It was the last appointment of the day so he said that he would stay 15 minutes longer for me. Then he said that he would come in tomorrow instead, his only day off for months, so I could have a whole hour.

Tonight he called me to tell me that he had to cancel because a patient had some emergency and he needed to deal with that tomorrow... So much for his day off. I was bummed but I understand because he would and has done the same for me. He then asked me if I wanted to talk with him while we were on the phone. I told him that I did but I wasn't in a place where I could. He offered to call me later which he did. Then he gave me probably 20 minutes, free, so that I could ask for help with my anger that I've had lately. It's been bad.

Finally, he offered to come in next week to see me on his new day off.

So, as much as I was looking forward to seeing him, I realize that I got so much more than I could've asked for. By the way, I do feel more relaxed about the things that I am allowing to get to me. We'll see how I feel tomorrow at work. Oh, and one more bonus for me... I have been accumulating a couple extra hours so that I could leave during work tomorrow and then return after the appointment. Now I get to start my weekend at 1:30ish tomorrow. :-)

That's great news, Achy ! It's great that you're getting a handle on the things that bother you. And, that you're able to see the good in your therapist and appreciate him for it.

Very happy for you. Keep up the good work, and have a great weekend !

Feeling pretty disappointed. I allowed myself to be interested in a guy that is more than likely out of my league even though I knew it would end up like every other interest I have: they aren't interested back. At least, I'm pretty sure he isn't.

I keep feeling like, at some point, God or the universe or whatever has got to cut me a break and allow me to be with someone. I'm not desperate, but I'm tired of being single and tired of telling myself (like I have been for years) that I'm okay with being single. And I have a lot to offer if someone would just give me a chance.

[Espresso]

I'm a mess. It's been a long time since I've been this calm and this determined to kill myself. I'm sitting here with music blasting in my ears because it helps to numb me. At least if I'm numb, I can go through the motions, I can maybe stay alive. I've called my therapist and tried suicide chats and chatrooms. I don't know what to do.